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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Thu, Jan 01, 2009 12:32

Well bloggers, today im thinking about this.

What is the difference between love and infatuation? I mean remember those feelings> You meet someone new and in the first flush of the romance theres the feeling of breathless anticipation, you cant wait to hear the voice, the next phone call, letter, e mail. You cant concentrate at work. Time passes slowly between each meet. When you do meet you cant get enough of each other, time now seems to speed up and a date of 3 or 4 hours seems to pass like 3 or 4 minutes. They dont call at the anticipated time and you fear the worst. Panicking in case there has been a multi vehicle pile up on the road¿and they are in the middle of it. Or, maybe a serious illness, a life or death situation..

¿You go over and over the date in your mind analysing everything said looking for subliminal messages there. Could I have done better? Been more witty? More sincere? Was it fun ? Was i serious enough , intelligent¿ , were they interested?

Theres a hollow in your stomach , a slightly nauseous feeling that wont go away. Funnily enough it gets worse when he or she arrives. A tremor of the hands a slighly sweathy palm. A dry mouth a fluffing of the lines a laugh which is either a little too shrill or a little too loud

Further down the road and the feelings are still the same. Is this an infatuation?? or is this love? If its infatuation when does that end and love begin. Are there signs for this? A blueprint a book which tells you when you get to this point, feel like this, its no longer an infatuation but real love. Or bloggers are they¿one and the same or at the very least intertwined?

Either way its wonderful when it happens isnt it? Do we think this feeling¿ is the reason so many cant be monogamous. Is this why some chase many to feel this perpetual excitement , permanent high. Do you think its addictive? this adrenaline rush we feel?

Questions..... questions........ bloggers



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_HONEY
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Posted on Wed, Jan 14, 2009 15:37

I read about the stages of love with "infatuation" being the one that you describe here. The article stated that there are some persons, more often males, who love the thrill of the hunt and the feelings of infatuation as the best part of the stages of love. They become "heartbreakers" and move on, not to look for a better lover, but to move through the hunt and the infatuation stage. Unfortunately, it is the female who who so often is thinking of "nesting" before the male does, while the couple enjoys the infatuation and all too often lovemaking and chemical bonding of this stage. These types of men are perpetual heartbreakers, think little of the harm they do to others, and selfishly hunt to feed their insatiable appetite for excitement.



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Sat, Jan 03, 2009 07:28

i agree Simone safety and security . We would be lost without it



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Posted on Fri, Jan 02, 2009 17:24

You know after reading everyones interestng responses and thinking back to my experiences, I think that the difference between love and infactuation is that when you truly love someone you have a sence of "safety and security." Knowing that no matter where or whom the other person is with, noone and nothing can replace what you and he have together. Where as when involved in an infactuation you feel "lost and empty." This is an interesting topic I have to say. Simone


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Posted on Fri, Jan 02, 2009 17:17

Love is not something you feel its something you do. I never really looked at it that way. So ture. Really great insight. Thnx, Simone


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Posted on Fri, Jan 02, 2009 13:35

MGWG.... You'll know when you're loved because you won't have to ask.... you'll feel it. If you have to ask someone if he loves you... he doesn't.


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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Fri, Jan 02, 2009 05:56

I agree with Irocas. "Love is not something you feel it's something you do."

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People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Fri, Jan 02, 2009 00:34

Quoting irocas:

Love is not something you feel it's something you do.


In part Boo Boo, in part



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Fri, Jan 02, 2009 00:33

Very good Tay.... I think I agree with that. Theres something also about the belonging which gives security.



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wwww12345
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Posted on Thu, Jan 01, 2009 23:33

Buy this book. Elaine has researched the question in great detail. Get the second issue, which has been revised. UCan get used copies for just a few bucks on Amazon. "A New Look At Love" by Elaine Hatfield Jan 2002


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Posted on Thu, Jan 01, 2009 19:57

Love is not something you feel it's something you do.


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Posted on Thu, Jan 01, 2009 14:05

Good Blog Tinker. I'll tell you what I think....LOVE STINKS either way. LOL The sinking feeling in your gut when he doesn't call at the exact time he said he would....God what is wrong with us? Why do we do this? Not to mention the fact that during this time of complete idiocy we believe this person is the hottest thing around when in fact he probably looks like an even geekier version of Willie Wonka. Then when it's all over we look back and ask ourselves: What the h** did I ever see in him? Its very much like a drug...acid maybe. LOL Simone


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mgwg
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Posted on Thu, Jan 01, 2009 14:04

The absence of¿love¿hurts. The absence of the one(s) you¿love¿hurts. Losing¿love¿or having it¿taken away¿hurts. Being denied¿love¿or not having your¿loved one respond to you hurts. Keeping your words in mind and as hard as it is "what about moving on" and if that love finds you again with the same person or somebody new then you are a lucky person.



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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Thu, Jan 01, 2009 13:29

or is it as¿ some say...... you only realise what it is when its taken away.



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mgwg
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Posted on Thu, Jan 01, 2009 13:25

There are some feelings we have when infatuated that we don¿t have when we¿re feeling love. Some of the ¿symptoms¿ of infatuation are; feelings of panic, uncertainty, overpowering lust, feverish excitement, impatience, and/or jealously.

When infatuated, we are thrilled, but not happy, wanting to trust, yet suspicious. There are lingering, nagging doubts about our ¿partner in infatuation¿ and their love for us. We¿re miserable when they¿re away, almost like we¿re not complete unless we¿re with them. It¿s a rush and it¿s intense. It¿s difficult to concentrate. And most infatuation relationships have a high degree of sexual charge around them. Somehow being with them is not complete unless in ends in some type of sexual encounter.

Do any of these ¿symptoms¿ resemble feelings of love? Hardly. So why do we become infatuated? Where does it come from? Perhaps it¿s biological

So now I am still left wondering what love truly feels like. ¿I guess when it happens we just know.



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Sunnybella
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Posted on Thu, Jan 01, 2009 13:14

HI Tink, For me love and infatuation are similiar only in that they make you feel alive and great to be with the person. I have only been in love once and the difference between the two was that with love, I never felt overwhelmed with him, desperate to see him, or unable to concentrate on my work or tasks. With love comes security. And that security gives the innate knowledge that the person will be there when you get home and vice versa. I knew that our time together was always quality, so I was filled each time we were with one another and was never left with an empitness that became mind consuming over my daily tasks. He knew he could do whatever tasks he needed for the day and I would there for him when he arived. So there was no rushing or anxiety to see me/him again. With love, the person never feels like they are away from you, so you don't get the feeling of longing miss for them. With infatuation, the feelings are not set yet. They are still floating in a "wishing", "hoping", "wondering" manner, and that makes you feel anxious about seeing them again or even desperate to hear their voice again. That's one humble opinion. Tay


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