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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Mon, Dec 08, 2008 00:20

Hello my bloggers. I have had an interesting time here recently and im going to write about it, but first I want to ask you some questions and i would be very interested to hear what you have to say. Forgive me all those who have touched on similar subjects but by the time i get to writing my real story you will understand why I have done it this way round. So tell me ...... Lets say you met and fell in love with Someone who lived in a different country. Its a fairly big deal isnt it? I mean its not only the distance to think of here, in fact when i think about it the distance is the least of your problems. Its the upheavel of an entire life, both personal and professional. So question one is this Would you consider upping sticks as it were and moving to another country??? Theres the language problem, for sure we all speak English but when its not your mother tongue, a lot, and bloggers i mean a LOT gets lost in translation. A simple throwaway remark which would be said in an instant can be misconstrued to become a major incident taking ages to sort out and smooth over Question number two is would you have the energy to constantly think about what you are saying in case it is misconstrued?? would you tire of the constant explaining and clarifying? Then theres the time factor and logistics. All life changes and upheavels seem to have their own pace and timeframe. Do you plan and carefully analyse all aspects of the intended move making sure all bases are covered?? or do you just sell up and go for it... trusting to love... You tell me....... More tomorrow


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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Wed, Dec 10, 2008 01:08

wait for the next blog Fidelity


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Sunnybella
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Posted on Tue, Dec 09, 2008 17:02

Tink, Great topic. We talk to others from all over the world, so this is a true possibility for some. As for me, I am willing to move to another country if it is a country I like. Italy, Austrialia, Austria, England, and other non-third-world-countries, would be fine with me. The language barrier is a barrier for sure. I dated a guy years ago from another country who spoke broken english. And as you said, the conversation was so limited that I could not express myself naturally. I had to think about everything and explain what all these words meant. Same for when he spoke to me. Even as a kid it was difficult. But as an adult, needing to communicate about retirement funds, buying homes, kids, and so much more, it would be too much to ask of me. even if we can muster our ways around that, the biggest obsticale will never go away when it comes to long distance dating... You will never fully integrate with the person over a phone or email. Short visits make great ways to see if there is chemistry, but it takes weekly, even daily personal contact to discover your true compatibility with one another. To leave all your securities behind in hopes that once you get into the same house together, that you won't discover you have nothing in common as you thought you did, is too much to ask. If you can afford to pick it all up, move it, and relocate it back home if it doesn't work out, then sure, try it. Money most definitely needs to be discussed and throughly agreed upon. Whoever moves will have no immediate source of income when they arrive in the new country. That means they will not be in a position to participate in any of the bills until they secure work and get funds coming in. And if you don't speak the language, then work is going to be very difficult to say the least. If you have a speciality career, then it could easily takes 4-6 months to get into a company that you are compatiable with. I would say that tomake that move myself, I would have to have enough in reserves that I could afford to pick up at a moments notice and move my life back home and get it re-settled. Otherwise I could not take such a risk with a child involved. And there's a whole nother topic....the kids.... Tay


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OrionsQuest
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Posted on Tue, Dec 09, 2008 11:43

At what speed? I would let your personal comfort level (that is, instincts, common sense and experience) dictate when and where to meet your admirer. As far as having other admirers?? Hmmm, I find the premise daunting. However, I suppose if he's "all that and a bag of chips too!", it's somewhat better than wondering why he doesn't have any other women trying to win his heart, eh? Of course that only applies in the early stages of a relationship. If he has already professed his love for you, made promises of a future together, and THEN you subsequently discover he his actively engaged with other female suitors, I would definitely pull back and reexamine the relationship, probably with a jaundiced view.


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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Tue, Dec 09, 2008 11:05

Quoting OrionsQuest: Rather than throwing ALL caution to the wind, wouldn't your needs be better addressed by visiting an overseas/out of country beau first? Maybe a couple of times?? Then again, maybe I'm just an eternal romantic, and contrary to my own advise, personally, I would go thru hell to be with the woman I felt I couldn't live without. Definitely thinking with my heart and not my brain in that regard. Have I provided any clarity or just obfuscated the issue further?

aaaah yes but at what speed?? and what if you found out the gentleman in question had other admirers lol


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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Mon, Dec 08, 2008 23:36

Ray my lovely I am just fine.... where have you been??? missed you


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OrionsQuest
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Posted on Mon, Dec 08, 2008 12:11

Rather than throwing ALL caution to the wind, wouldn't your needs be better addressed by visiting an overseas/out of country beau first? Maybe a couple of times?? Then again, maybe I'm just an eternal romantic, and contrary to my own advise, personally, I would go thru hell to be with the woman I felt I couldn't live without. Definitely thinking with my heart and not my brain in that regard. Have I provided any clarity or just obfuscated the issue further?


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NGL2011
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Posted on Mon, Dec 08, 2008 10:45

I know we'd have a problem when things like this are said, "Would you consider upping sticks" That would definately need to be clarified ! ;) How are you Sweet Cheeks ?


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