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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Wed, Nov 26, 2008 12:31

I've been on this site for quite a while and just recently joined a new site and updated on another site and must say there is a huge difference! My experience on here is that the men don't contact often, rarely reply if you do contact them, yet continuously view my profile. Very odd! So it's been a lot of fun actually communicating on these other sites, but more importantly, connecting with a few that are quite interesting and may lead somewhere. I've replied to every contact I've had and it's been so refreshing that they take the time to reply back saying thank you for letting me know. It's always been a complaint of mine that people can't be courteous and mature enough to at least reply they're not interested, and I know some say no response IS a response, but etiquette and manners seem to have flown the coop on here for some reason. I was getting quite jaded with the whole online thing and was just about to pull my profiles, but am now having such a blast, that it's rekindled my interest and restored my faith in this venue. What have your experiences on here been? Would love to get some male perspectives too with the women on MM.


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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SweetieTweety
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Posted on Fri, May 01, 2009 23:25

YES I AGREE THAT MEN ARE VISUAL BUT WHEN YOU NEET SOMEONE IN PERSON THEY ARE ALWAYS SOMEWHAT DIFFERENT THAN IN A PHOTO BECAUSE THE PERSONALITY CHANGES EVERYTHING! ALSO MANY OF THE LADIES HERE ARE VERY NICE AND THEY DO NOT WANT TO POST HIGHLY EROTIC OR SUGGESTIVE PHOTOS HERE BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE NOT CAPABLE OF LOOKING REALLY HOT FOR A DATE!

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SweetieTweety
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Posted on Fri, May 01, 2009 23:21

WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW THAT IS THE FUN PART? I AM NEW HERE AND HAVE NOT FULLY SIGNED UP YET AS I AM JUST CHECKING THINGS OUT. GOT ANY ADVICE FOR A NEWBEE?

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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Fri, Dec 19, 2008 13:31

I agree with what you are both saying. I have also found that at times I really do not care if I make a connection or not. These past few months I have been focused in another direction and simply do not have the desire. Do we get so comfortable in our own lives at times, or so busy, that we really do not care if we meet someone or not? I have also compared this site with others. Some of them I put my profiles on, others a test profile (marketing research) I found that all the newbies (fresh meat) are welcomed in than the flow slows down. Over all, I have found this site to be the most successful. Plus we have developed a community of sorts here on the blogs. There is something here that keeps bringing us back... Happy Holidays Everyone!

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People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Fri, Dec 19, 2008 10:37

Hey cutiebooty! I think you hit the nail on the head! Many don't put the effort forth that's needed for a new relationship to develop, and even more don't put the effort into existing relationships. One of the questions I ask for matches is "do you have the time for a relationship?". Not quite sure why I bother with those questions really lol! As far as being too picky - I prefer to call it selective. I know what I want, but more importantly what I don't want, and am not willing to settle on major needs with a partner. I'm not a big fan of Dr. Phil, but some of what he says does ring true. He states that a good partner should ask themselves each day, "what can I do for my partner today?", and then follow through with actions to support that. Doesn't have to be anything monetary, or huge, just doing something thoughtful to let them know they're on your mind works wonders. So few put their partner's needs ahead of their own, and that's why relationships just don't work as well anymore IMO. I also agree with you that internet dating has been ruined by all that you mention. There is so much misrepresentation online, that it makes most quite wary and distrustful, and although necessary for your own safety, is truly not conducive to connecting. As to me having all those good guys stashed under my bed, I don't think so! lol But what a great concept, although I'm not greedy, I just need One.


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Sat, Dec 13, 2008 07:21

Quoting: Originally posted by Tinkerbelle You are one of the most incredible women on here. MM as weve often said is more a site for blogging and the inevitable pervert and scammer nonsense. You my dear , oh wise one LOL LOL deserve MUCH better; and you will find it. My feelings about dating sites mirror your own. Im here for the blogs period

Wowza! This is just so strange what's going on with the blogs here! This blog disappeared for many days, now it returns. I even posted another blog about Disappearing blogs lol! Jumbi in da line! (aka gremlins) Hey Tink! You are too kind! The blogs have a life of their own and so do the authors, that's for sure! I find the quality of the blogs has gone downhill, but sometimes it is entertaining. Don't know that I'd go so far as to say I'm only here for the blogs, at least not yet wahahaha!


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Mon, Dec 01, 2008 11:34

You are one of the most incredible women on here. MM as weve often said is more a site for blogging and the inevitable pervert and scammer nonsense. You my dear , oh wise one LOL LOL deserve MUCH better; and you will find it. My feelings about dating sites mirror your own. Im here for the blogs period


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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Mon, Dec 01, 2008 07:19

Hey tinypebbles! See what happens when you post your pictures?? lol! What you describe, men contacting you initially then you responding and at that point, they disappear, really doesn't make any sense, but know it happens frequently. Again I believe many have no intention of ever meeting face to face, it's an amusement for some to contact just to see what response they get. Such a shame for those of us seriously looking for a match. If someone changes their mind and you've been communicating, at least have the decency to let the other person know. It's too easy to be someone else behind a computer and far too easy to forget there's a real person's emotions being played with. I don't think you're being foolish at all by being hopeful. I'm ever the optimist too and by having a profile up, you just never know who may come along. Hi thenewman! It's always interesting to read what members' thoughts on something are. We are all guilty I believe of seeing things too often from only our own perspective, so this is a great way to share our differences. It's also interesting to see whether men and women differ and how they differ. You are saying you decide whether to respond to a female contacting you if she's put the time into an original email and matches what you're looking for in a partner. You also mention another female saying she only replied if she was interested. I myself try to reply regardless just to be courteous, so it's very interesting to see all the differences. We're all very different in our approaches and our viewpoints, the bottom line is if it's meant to be, it will be I guess.


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Mon, Dec 01, 2008 05:34

Quoting: Originally posted by ReverendGene Ready You have made it impossible to contact you. You have turned your "winks" off, and men do not want to be rejected in public. Like here Your photos are beautiful. There is a man waiting for you to let him in to your life. May God Bless Reverend Gene

ReverendGene, I have just disabled my wink feature less than one week ago as I was getting nothing but scammers contacting me with winks. I don't consider scammers to be men at all. If someone on a millionaire dating site can't be bothered to spend $30 for a month's worth of membership to contact, quite honestly, it says much. If someone is serious about finding a partner, they will subscribe. I'm not aware of rejecting men in public and not sure what you mean with your follow-up comment "like here". Maybe you could elaborate on that? I thank you for your compliment regarding my pictures, if there's a man waiting for me to let him into my life, I'd sure hope he'd have the hutzpah to step up to the plate and contact. You are new to this site it would appear, and you've already posted 29 blogs since Nov. 29th. FYI this is behaviour that generally denotes a troll and is considered bad blog etiquette, often referred to as "blog hogging". Many members like to blog and by posting so many at once, when many could be combined, bumps other new posts off the first page and doesn't give members an opportunity to be read. Just thought I'd give you a heads up Reverend.


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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tinypebbles
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Posted on Sat, Nov 29, 2008 23:32

Hi Ready... Nice topic. I could not comment outside of MM as I do not have any experience on other dating sites. However, you are absolutely correct! I have had emails from MM members and I would take the time to respond...and for whatever... I never hear from them again. But, that is okay...because it was NEVER a deal breaker for me! Come to think of it, I should disable the 'wink' on my profile...I certainly get quite a few...but most profiles do not jived with the pictures. However, I am hopeful...foolishly hopeful!!!lol!!!


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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Sat, Nov 29, 2008 12:30

Hey Shaz - it does seem disproportionately female to male on MM, yet on IM it's often evenly represented. It's a shame about the manners and it's not just on MM, but does seem more prevalent here. I also agree that women letting it all hang out for every stranger to see and to be willing to do cam shows does spoil it for those who won't, but the type of men interested in that are not for me anyhow, but does have impact that's for sure. I understand your getting jaded on here and as you know, wish you all the best. I'm not one to ever ignore red flags, have seen far too many and am probably more suspicious of that than the average member. Hi ecyla! - Tiresome is a good word lol! Not sure about the green star status, but will probably be following suit. The blogs can be fun, most definitely entertaining, but there are so many trolls and scammers lately that I've lost interest. Combine that with nasty, attacking blogs and it didn't take me long to figure out it was having a negative impact on me, so I choose to not read them much. I have made some really great friends on here, and for that I am always thankful. Hey thenewman - thanks for your post! It's always nice getting the male perspective. The distance does play a great factor on finding someone, and if one isn't willing to relocate, it just doesn't make sense to get involved. MM does not screen members at all, always been a peeve of mine, but it is what it is. Not certain how many sites successfulmatch now has, it was at 35+ last I checked, but I do know they're all run independent of each other, other than the new Private Label sites which Queen mentions sharing the databases. Sure couldn't hurt emailing John with your suggestion, maybe you'll get a freebie! Hi w's - MM has never to my knowledge displayed the number of members it has, but those on IM never seem to climb much higher than 200 and that's on a busy night. The other sites have thousands showing as online. I think many profiles are inactive as you say, would make sense to clean them out occasionally, but doesn't seem to happen. Hi Brian - I agree that common courtesy is something to watch for, it tells you so much. I've disabled my wink feature as all I ever got was scammers lol! So, might as well restrict what I can. I've been on MM for far longer than I expected, have watched many come and go, some grow, some stay the same and some truly show who they are over time, especially on the blogs. So many members are not aware of the blogs, again it's a core group it seems. You are so correct there are many with vastly different motivations, just wished there was some way to weed out those who are not looking for long term, but even if MM offered categories, there will always be those who don't represent themselves honestly anyhow, so it all boils down to a numbers game. zzzoraya - many members on MM do not realize the blogs even exist. If they do, many of those again are not interested in participating on the blogs by posting, although many read but never post. The bloggers are a different breed with their own very different personalities, some have their favs they like to read, others go just by subject matter. I tend to not post unless the topic is of interest to me. The old format of the Forum does not show number of views or comments. When the blogs first appeared, I predicted by having views and posts showing, it would and could be manipulated, which it has on several occasions. There are the "look at me" bloggers, there are the "woe is me" bloggers, there are the "perky, happy, positive" bloggers, and every other kind you can imagine. If you've got something you'd like to share, share it, sometimes you'll hit upon a topic of interest to others, other times you won't. Hi sunshine3672 - we are very fortunate to have had 3 male members already post on this blog! It's a rarity lol! You're in Cyprus so that may have an impact, but you're also young so that should work for you on here. You need to get a thick skin for online dating and learn not to take things too personally is what works best I find. Hey Queen! - It's always great to look around and check out what happens on other sites. I agree there is much more quantity on other sites, but the quality doesn't always go hand in hand. Some of the sites that are more local do offer get togethers, but are mostly put together by members it seems, not the site. In general, I posted this blog not as a criticism of MM or its male members, but more my own experience on here and wondered how other members have fared. I had an interesting discussion with my son about something today. I said why do you think men quite often put down "very good looking" or "hot" yet in my opinion they are not, and women quite often underestimate their looks? His reply was quite simple and although he's not quite 18, sure made sense to me. He said males are told by their Moms, or relatives from a very early age that they're handsome, good looking, etc. Females are bombarded with advertisements, whether it be magazines, tv, etc. that to be "very good looking" or "hot", you must look a certain way like the models, etc., so as most don't fit this criteria, they have esteem issues. Online dating is very much visual, you post a few pictures, type a few words and hope to attract a good match. In general, if you've not got good self esteem, it can be a very negative experience as you're being judged on external beauty more often than not. This has been more prevalent with females in advertising, but it's quickly becoming the same way for men. If you don't have the six pack, or striking jawline, or dimple, you're just not as attractive. The number of men electing plastic surgery has greatly increased too. I find the whole approach to what is beautiful to be sorely lacking and have done for years. The Dove organization within the past few years has done a huge campaign on this. They teach every woman is beautiful and not to judge yourself to an unattainable goal of what the "beautiful people" displayed in mags or movies or TV look like. To accept and love who you are and what you look like, and this message is being targeted to the younger girls growing up as well. I think it's a great marketing strategy and long overdue. I am a big believer in you can't say the wrong thing to the right person, or the right thing to the wrong person and so this is how I approach my profile. Some will like it, others will not, some tell me I ask for too much, but I revise it to represent me as best I can. Your profile is your calling card, so why not take the time to put out there what it is you're looking for in a mate? Put your best foot forward and check for spelling errors, make sure your pictures are clear. Put some information down that tells a bit about who you are and what you're looking for. For those who put up a profile, we obviously do so for a reason or we'd not be on here, in effect, we're advertising ourselves. Now if some would just take the time to read instead of viewing all the pretty pictures .... lol!


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Sat, Nov 29, 2008 06:44

I have been researching dating sites. The results surprised me. I have set up test profiles to see the responses. I have also tried that fishing site. Same amount of contacts...intially as all the sites. But the quality of people does not seem the same. I have found that on "that" site more of the people seem to talk, but again, some of their members are not as desirable, and maybe this is why. I do like how that site does encourage members to host "meet and greets" in so many areas. Newman. As to the sites of Successful match and the emails. All the millionaire type of sites that are affiliates (Private Label/affilates) are connected by the same interests... As in Millionare, wealthy men, ect...(there are not as many sites as some might believe) Those in the same catagory share the same data base, blogs, email system. The difference is only the front page that are the gateways for people to enter into to. For example, all the "wealthy sites" share one database. (there are not as many as some believe) while the other "specialized" sites share their own (seperate) data base that is structured around what the people there are looking for. Which is nice as more people can come together with their own needs, or interests. Our database here, for example, has the same members, the same blogs, ect. Yet has different door ways to bring people in. The sites in another catagory, for example, inter racial relationships, or horse people, have their own database and do not connect with us at all. This is clearly explained in the affilate/private label tab on the top of each page that is here, and in the contracts we signed when we joined this site.


People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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sunshine3672
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Posted on Sat, Nov 29, 2008 03:28

I can totally understand what you are talking about. I have had the same sort of non-responsiveness from the men on mm. I have no explanation as to the why. Feedback from one of the guys here would be great as it would give us some insight to their reluctant behavior.


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Posted on Fri, Nov 28, 2008 19:19

Quoting: Originally posted by READY4UNOW I've been on this site for quite a while and just recently joined a new site and updated on another site and must say there is a huge difference! My experience on here is that the men don't contact often, rarely reply if you do contact them, yet continuously view my profile. Very odd! So it's been a lot of fun actually communicating on these other sites, but more importantly, connecting with a few that are quite interesting and may lead somewhere. I've replied to every contact I've had and it's been so refreshing that they take the time to reply back saying thank you for letting me know. It's always been a complaint of mine that people can't be courteous and mature enough to at least reply they're not interested, and I know some say no response IS a response, but etiquette and manners seem to have flown the coop on here for some reason. I was getting quite jaded with the whole online thing and was just about to pull my profiles, but am now having such a blast, that it's rekindled my interest and restored my faith in this venue. What have your experiences on here been? Would love to get some male perspectives too with the women on MM.

Yes, I'm usually VERY busy with other priorities which take up most of my precious time. None the less I do try to reply to emails from time to time although it's really not that important to me. Also, in all seriousness i suspect that some of the males here are really prefering to interact with other men rather than females and that is certainly a personal choice.


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zzzoraya
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Posted on Fri, Nov 28, 2008 18:46

ummmmm....yah..lot of people here dont have any time to answer, and say : Thanks : I am flattered you read my blog. Its courtesy, and it shines for her absence. Almost each time I am speaking with myself and with nobody...they dont have time to read it....


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Posted on Fri, Nov 28, 2008 16:25

I like your blog. I think it is most pertinent. I agree that courtesy should be the watchword. I do try to respond to e-mails, but not winks all the time. Sometimes I'm busy with life and can't always respond promptly. I don't like that but it's the best I can do. There are other higher priorities in my life. I am happy for you and your new find. I like MM and think it's a good group. I don't often monitor who's looked at my profile. Since this is semi public I think there are a lot of lookers with vastly different motivations.


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wwww12345
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Posted on Fri, Nov 28, 2008 11:09

I don't think this site ever purges their membership in order to make their membership numbers look good. It took me over a year to get a deceased lady's profile removed despite sending in news articles about her death. People that have been inactive for years are still carried as a member, and probably their old email address is not even valid anymore. MM has a lot of housekeeping to do.


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Posted on Thu, Nov 27, 2008 19:22

hi Ready, Good topic and from another females' perspective I find the dating behavior on this site tiresome. Rarely am I approached by any men-most of the connects have been from my contact. Now that i have the non green star status, even less interest is generated. however, as you state other sites offer a wider variety and more gentlemen with more to offer than heyhowyadoing format. i do like it here though, because the blog community is rich and at times downright entertaining. I've met lovely women who are about fabulous as it gets(and I ponder why they are still single still). e.a


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shazbot82
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Posted on Thu, Nov 27, 2008 12:50

this site has 85% women to 15 % men. The ratios are skewed and the men on here are spoiled, flakey and think they are gods gift to women. Good manners dont seem to play much part in the overall actions here. Ive have had excellent experiences with other sites and have met quality people who have remained friends for years. This is suppposed to be a place where its expected and desired to make contact with the oppisote sex. I think the men view it as a candy store. We women are to blame for letting them get away with that attitude... but there is always some female willing to be trashy and expose herself, be willing to accept being a mistress or side piece....or wanting to find a rich old guy to sponge off of. Its just that type of place. Ive become jades being here,,one reason why I m leaving. I get much better results other places and it think its because the men behave differently. You still get flakes and scammers,,but not so pften. Just use your common sense and dont ignore red flags, no matter ewaht site youre on. good luck and have fun


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