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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Tue, Sep 23, 2008 11:32

Just had an IM with a g/f about this and it reminded me, so thought I'd post it. Quite a while ago I was discussing with a very dear friend of mine who is a psychologist and life coach about what one looks for in a life partner. He told me to tell him of 5 qualities that I looked for in a potential mate. I quickly listed off 5, and then he asked me how many of those 5 did I possess? I realized not many and he replied "well there's your answer!" He said like attracts like, why would you expect someone to have those qualities or traits and you yourself not have them. Why would someone with those traits be attracted to you who doesn't have those same traits. It was a question I pondered on and have thought about quite often since then. Take a few moments and list 5 or 10 or however many qualities/traits you want in a partner, be totally honest about this and not let whether you possess them or not affect your list in a mate. Go back and put a check mark beside all those qualities/traits that you yourself possess. Being totally honest in your assessment is essential for this exercise to work. For all those traits you don't possess, you've now got a very clear picture of where you need to do some self work to improve and create who you want to be. The Law of Attraction is always in play whether you believe in it or not. We can be whoever we choose to be from this day forward. Start being who you would most like to have show up for a partner and watch for what shows up in your life! Hope you'll share your thoughts on this!


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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shazbot82
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Posted on Mon, Sep 29, 2008 12:39

I think I should go to the Library and see is they have that Power of NOw book.


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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Mon, Sep 29, 2008 12:24

Hi dinilynn! - looks like you're new to the blogs so welcome and thanks for a great post. Your profile is hidden so couldn't view you, but was wondering if you'd be so kind as to maybe summarize briefly what people can do to bring their subconscious and conscious into alignment? I was given the Power of Now as a gift about one year ago. Started reading it and just wasn't into it at the time, so put it down for the time being. Maybe I'll give it another try, quite often it's our own mindset at the time and I may find it engaging now. creative - I too am fine tuning my list, in fact this is taking me far longer than I thought. I've revised many times and put it down for a bit, then come back the next day to see if it still suits me, then another revision lol! I find it a great exercise to differentiate what my needs versus wants are in a man, the needs are essential to fulfill, the wants are wonderful, but not necessary and can be traded off. The dual end result of this exercise for me at least has been to really figure me out as well as what I need in a partner.


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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shazbot82
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Posted on Sat, Sep 27, 2008 18:35

I would agree with Kitten with once caveat... you can be very different outwardly from another person and still have the same morals, values, intergrity levels, political views, tolerance levels,,education backgrounds. Ethinic hertiages, views on family and sexual fidelity, etc. Those issues ( and other similar charactoristics) truly ARE what goes into a successful long term relationship. And while is is generally easier to find people of similar charactor at social functions, as KIT mentioned, it is possible to meet a person from the oddest places on earth and STILL be very similar. for example..Im mentioned my last ex many times on MM,but ive never really said much about his background... he is a second generation white native of the Island of Papua New Guinea. Born and raised there. Dutch extraction,but like me,,his family is Scotch- Irish. We are very very different in our in backgrounds EXCEPT on all the really important things. Enough differences to be wildly attracted to each other, and so very similar in our outlooks and views that we are( were) totally comfortable with each other. We even look similar. And ide like to mention , too , ,that one can be raised and live in the same area as another person,,go to the same places..have very similar experiences and STILL not have those important core values in common.


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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Sat, Sep 27, 2008 12:14

Quoting dinilynn: No you are not expecting too much. What needs to be realized about the law of attraction is that yes, it works, but while the concious mind may ask for things, if the unconcious minds beleives it can't manifest them, they will not happen As one belief will cancel out the other. For those truly interested ... Read The Power of Now. it says it all

I agree with you, dinilynn. There are many good books out there regarding reality creation, or how thoughts can materialize. I have been very successful at making most of my dreams come true...Lucky me. This "man of my dreams" is the last "Big one". I have been programming to bring him into my life now for over a decade. I am not in a hurry as my expectations are high. I know he is coming. And continue to learn more about myself whicle I am waiting... I do not feel I have been canceling anything out. For me, this is simply being selective and not settling for less. This is a very interesting blog. I am enjoying all the responses.

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People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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dinilynn
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Posted on Sat, Sep 27, 2008 09:11

Quoting Queenofyourdreams: What you say is true. I have done this... Maybe I am expecting to much from my potential match? LOL

No you are not expecting too much. What needs to be realized about the law of attraction is that yes, it works, but while the concious mind may ask for things, if the unconcious minds beleives it can't manifest them, they will not happen As one belief will cancel out the other. For those truly interested ... Read The Power of Now. it says it all


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shazbot82
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Posted on Sat, Sep 27, 2008 01:42

I need to amend my list cuz I fergot a thing or three: he must be sensual must be passionate he must have endurance and in a committed realtionship,,must really really adn i DO mean really.. like hot monkey sex ! ( come on , I HAD to make you laugh !) but seriously folks..... Hes got have those qualities because I do


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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Fri, Sep 26, 2008 16:53

avaredrose - thanks for your post, there is nothing wrong ever with striving to improve yourself. This was a self development exercise given to me that I'm relaying and I interpreted it to mean core values must be in alignment, if they are not, much struggle ensues. As was later explained to me, there are tiers or levels involved here as well. Everyone's thoughts are welcome and I thank you for yours, we all have something to bring to the table. shaz - looks like you've done your work already, I agree core values/beliefs must be the same or it just ends up with turmoil and is usually what takes a relationship out. Ry - I feel as though I know you through your posts, but as you joke about so much, it's nice to see this side too! I have so many self development books and recognized Ask and it Will be Given, but couldn't find my copy yet. Is it Abraham Hicks? Other authors I really like are Wayne Dyer and Andy Andrews. I find the most important thing is to find an author that "speaks" to you that you enjoy and connect with. I have about 10 books on the go, some I leave for a bit and come back to later, thankfully have many bookmarks lol! As far as meditation goes, I struggle with it as thoughts are constantly charging around, I use a wonderful CD that with little effort, and more with each use, does quiet my mind quite quickly and always calms me and puts me in a positive mind frame. Someone on my team call recently said when he first started meditating, he couldn't focus on a specific thought for more than 5 seconds! I thought wow good to know, I always had that problem too! Sometimes if I'm tired I do fall asleep with my CD, but that's okay too as your body needs it. If we all took a little time to be thankful, appreciative or grateful for what we do have, and really savour it and celebrate it, as opposed to looking for the next conquest, I believe we'd all be a lot happier and very content. Talk about L of A, as I was looking for the book you mentioned, I came across "How to Meditate" which was written back in 1974 and is a very good simple book. Price back then was $2.50!!!!


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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Posted on Thu, Sep 25, 2008 13:16

Hi Ready LOLOLOL...you know me!...LOL Actually I have several books on the subject, one, 'Ask and it will be given' is excellent reading. You're right, it's not as easy as it seems. I've been visualizing for years and that gazillion ain't in the bank.....yet! Neither is the horn bucket...oh wait, he's supposed to be lying somewhere else....LOLOLOL The problem I have, is that when you're asked to meditate and visualize....I fall asleep!...LOLOLOL...True! my sister thinks it's hilarious. Though a positive outlook has afforded me to meet some of the nicest, sweetest, kindest people. I tend to look around and see what I have got, as opposed to what I haven't. Now, back to visualizing....Zzzzzzzz...LOLOLOLOL


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shazbot82
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Posted on Thu, Sep 25, 2008 10:59

truthful, generous, sexually faithful worldly ready for love honest liberal Green passionate about their life and work artistic flexible enjoys live music I am all those things. My last significant other was, on paper, about as different from me as it is possible to be. But we shared the exact same core values on almost every issue. That really is very important


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Posted on Wed, Sep 24, 2008 17:28

brilliant a gentleman financially secured matured wise am i all of those things? yes and no... there is always room for improvement. i can always be smarter, wiser, more matured, work harder, and learn more of what it means to be a true lady. it's not what you are but what you seeks to be that counts sometimes. i like to believe that i'm not impossible. and i want someone who isn't. while it might be true that like attracts likes but what about what you yearn to be? isn't yearning connected to desires? then he could be everything you ever want to be but because you've never met someone as perfect and wonderful, someone you worship and admires, you think it impossible to be so even though you try... until you meet him.... so isn't it ok to want something you're not just because your abilities to appreciate it is a sign of your belief that you can be that person? doesn't meeting that person makes you want more to be like him... to possess all those things you want but never thought to work on them... and it helps you to work a little harder and strive for goodness and progress so really? what you should be looking for is not someone like you but someone above you.... your better half. to make each other whole. i see it all the time, and i think most of us do... an ugly man with a gorgeous woman and apparently love excuses their differences in appearance then why doesn't it excuse a person's past or mistakes or who we were? well, it should! so what if the devil's daughter wants to love an angel? it's an example... please don't take it so offensively. it is not the fact that she wants to be good that she should love him so? it is not her yearning to be with the white light, to be pure that attracts her to him? then it is wrong for him to love her back? not because of who she is but who she can be and who she hopes to be? it is wrong? or it is a matter of choices and what you think you can improve on. it may be true that your choices well surpasses you but that just means there is always room for improvement. besides, all the things he might possess you lack... what about the things he lacks that you possess? i'll make another list of all the things he lacks that i can bring to the relationship: experiences when it comes to judging people trust true love real courage appreciation of the littlest things in life: like chasing after butterflies or eating a home cook meal


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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Wed, Sep 24, 2008 15:45

Hey Ry! - leave it to you lol! bold - I didn't say it was going to be easy lol! In fact, it's an exercise that can take quite a while if you've never thought about it before in this way. Also helps you to pare down what you really want versus need in a partner. Eventually after many revisions, you end up with a well honed list that allows you to really know what you want in a partner. kitten - your visualization exercise is a good one too! Whatever you put your focus on repetitively with great feeling is bound to show up. With your thoughts going along this vein, your actions also change. Thoughts combined with feelings manifest much quicker. What you think about you bring about. Glad to hear good things are showing up for you with this. Alexis52000 - Welcome to the blogs! Glad it was thought provoking for you. It's something many of us have heard, but don't take time to do it and see what the outcome is. HONEY - I believe that saying "opposites attract" is not much more than a myth. Opposites attract only in magnets, in people while they may be initially "intrigued", a person usually will find that they are best suited to someone who "compliments" them, rather than someone who is the "opposite" to them. It's all a maintenance thing. Look at nature. Most studies show that while the traits of the "opposite" person had some initial attraction, over time they became a pain in the butt. I personally found this true first hand with my late husband. Our core beliefs were not in alignment and was something that caused much strife. Law of Attraction does attract like, not opposite, so to be in alignment with L of A, it's best to go with the flow and be in harmony as opposed to fighting upstream. Traits/qualities come in "tiers". Tier # 1 can be determined as those issues that are of a "core" nature. Integrity, honesty, compassion, generous, etc., all could fall into this tier. Tier # 2 could be issues of hobbies, travel likes, entertainment, clothes, reading etc. There can be as many "tiers" as needed, and agreed upon. Queen - you are not expecting too much! Just do a little fine tuning, focus on your list each day and see what happens! I'm still working on mine, will let you know how I make out too.


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Wed, Sep 24, 2008 04:56

What you say is true. I have done this... Maybe I am expecting to much from my potential match? LOL

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People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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_HONEY
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Posted on Wed, Sep 24, 2008 03:27

Ready: I have always felt that way, but I have seen in real life that opposites can be attracted to each other at times. _Honey


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Posted on Tue, Sep 23, 2008 15:43

Hmmmmm, ok then $10,000000 in the bank $1,000000 under my pillow $1,000000 in my purse $1,000000 in loose change And finally, $1,0000000 in my jelly belly pouch Hang on, I'm still dreaming....don't wake me up just yet.... I'm not money orientated....honest!....LOLOLOLOL


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