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No Prizes for Second Place in Internet Dating... Sort by:
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robtest
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Posted on Fri, Sep 05, 2008 16:51

Let's face it, there are no prizes for second place in internet dating. You either meet someone and both of you feel it clicks or you don't. When you meet someone, sometimes it clicks for one, but not for the other. Sometimes it clicks for neither, but the only time that it really works out is when it clicks for both. One of the comments you often hear is that dating sites are a virtual candy store. Too many options makes it very easy to just say "Next". It kinda makes you wonder if back in our parents day, because of more limited options, people actually had to put more effort into accepting each other, and in doing so, they were rewarded with relationships! An assumption that you should never make is that whomever you are meeting is only talking to you. Parallel dating many at once is probably a norm amoung internet daters. You usually have to pay to interact on a site, so "to get your money's worth", it is a good strategy to talk to as many as possible and weed the list down, hopefully ending up with one great choice at the end of the process. Of course, parallel dating does leave a sticky situation of dealing with the ones that you want to weed out. Secondly, it leaves you with negative feelings when you have been "weeded out". How is the best way to deal with this process? Ideally, it would be great if we were all well adjusted souls, and could just be honest. Realistically that just doesn't happen. Some people are afraid to be honest for many reasons, such as not wanting to hurt the other person's feelings, and also fear of the other person being rude at the reprisal. Parallel dating does have interesting moments. It sometimes is hard to keep all the different conversations straight! Recently I was on a first meeting with a lady and she said "So you really like the micro brewery beers do ya?", to which I replied "Actually, I am a little more partial to rum drinks"... Being an avid reader of body language, the look on her face was priceless. LOL... Like I say, never assume that you are the only one that someone is talking to. She did recover quite well, and the conversation proceeded on. One of my favorite bits of wisdom was not found in a book, but passed on to me by my mother. She said "If someone is not interested, there is nothing you can do to keep them around, but if someone is interested, there is nothing you can do to keep them away"... So what are your thoughts on this? I am interested to hear what others think on the subject. How do you handle the weeding process, got any interesting stories to tell?


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robtest
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Posted on Sun, Sep 14, 2008 21:28

Quoting: Originally posted by Devoted2FindingU Hey Rob, will you do me a favor? Do you still have my email addr? Will you please forward it to DebInItaly? Drop me a line and I will tell you what RETIREMENT feels like. D.

Hey Don! Sorry I didn't see this until now. I dropped you a line and sent the addy to Deb. I hope it is the correct one. LOL


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shazbot82
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Posted on Sun, Sep 14, 2008 11:31

Rob, you and I think so much alike it can get down right scary. Hows your ceaseation program coming along ? I think it would be great fun to actually try and set up a Zorbing Event next year. I need to find some new men in my area to go meet. Ive been a recluse in mourning far too long.So, going out more often seems like a good idea. Going back to Singing in Public will be great fun , too. The only men I have met in a long time have all been from some sort of Internet Listing Service. The pairings were excellent and I enjoyed each one for what it presented. True Love can exist Far Across The Planet, and if that is the case, The Internet provides a medium for communication at an intimate level. I guess I should be making more of an effort myself. Being friendly in Public isnt really my style but I ve been known to sponateniously talk to people who were around where I was.


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Posted on Sun, Sep 07, 2008 21:33

Hey Rob, will you do me a favor? Do you still have my email addr? Will you please forward it to DebInItaly? Drop me a line and I will tell you what RETIREMENT feels like. D.


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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Fri, Sep 05, 2008 17:24

I agree with all you have said. Since I have been here almost as long as you... (LOL) This is a world I never could have imagined. I have enjoyed almost every moment of it. The quality of the men I have met has been very good. The first love of my on line life was a scammer. It happened on another site and there was no one there to warn me about how they work. Than I came here to MM. This is my favorite place to shop. My weeding process has changed durng this time. At first I responded to every wink and email I received. Than I started weeding out some of those...Now I hardly respond to any. I quickly learned to use a calling card and make phone contact with those I thought I was interested in, as soon as possible. This way I could hear their voices and weed them from that point of view. Finally, I came to the understanding that the only way to really know(and avoid that fatal trap of creating a fantasy before meeting someone) was to meet them, face to face. Until than, we really do not know who they are, or if there is any real chemistry. And than it starts all over again....but at least it is real time and that person is there for us to see and know. I have found that when I lose interest in someone that I either stop contacting them, or simply tell them that I do not think we are a match. But, that works for me. As for me, the weeding continues. I have become very selective and much more careful. I have made mistakes.

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People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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