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Signs of mad cow disease. Sort by:
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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Tue, Aug 05, 2008 04:18

These are signs that will let you know that your pet cow might have mad cow disease. This is a public service announcement... Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne. (hmmm. Wonder if this makes them hotter, and if maybe some of the women and men here might want to try this on your next date...) Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder. (This has been a blog topic before...) Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow's body. (That was not my cow. I do not have a cow...was this really Healey's cow?) Your cow demands to be branded with the 'Golden Arches Logo'. (OH,OH.... Now with our new view on proper business ethics, will this cow go to the Burger King palace and try to give out free coupons? Oh, wait. I see that one of those chicken places has come and taken the cows to where they are. We are now taking applications for new cows.) Your cow insists that all Hindu's are sacred. (But what if your cow is not Hindu. Does this mean that your cow would go to heaven instead? Do the cows there mooooo to the sound of angel cows playing harps? And what if your cow is not a Christian? Are there many roads for a cow to travel to become one with with all? Is your inner cow speaking to you now?) Your cow insists evaporated milk comes from thirsty cows. (And what about skim milk. Is this from cows who are too thin? And what about all those fat cows. Once again they are left out, even though they produce the tastiest milk... where, I ask, is the fairness in all this?) Your cow joins the Hell's Angels because, hey, it already has a cool leather jacket. (Somehow the image is funny. A cow biker. LOL! Now since the Hell's Angels is only known to us older people who remember who they were, and how they got others to join their gang...what about the bikers of today? They do not seem to have the same tactics as this is the age of internet. How do the bike gangs get new members? And why are they letting cows join them, and what about the bulls who want to join? I am still having a hard time thinking of a cow on a motorcycle... do they also need a license to drive?) Your cow spends half the day sitting in the Lotus Position chanting "MOO" backwards. (LOL! Still trying to imagine a cow doing this. I have seen people do this. Maybe instead of oooohmmm. They should try the moooooooo instead.) Wait, a moment. If a cow is walking backwards does it also say ooooom oooooom? Your cow insists that it can give you chocolate milk if you started feeding it Hershey bars.(I am not sharing my chocolate bars with any cows. However, I do like chocolate milk so maybe I should rethink this whole thing. Now if one of those invisible bears wants one I would probably give my chocolate bar to the bear, and than run...) Your cow asks you to brand it again but only if you'll wear something sexy this time. (Oh, please. Are people still branding their cows? What would we wear? Bull horns? Rocky mountain oysters? Those cow outfits? Would someone please tell me what a cow would consider sexy? Who came up with these ideas anyway? And if any one answer this one, well....you are full of bull crap.) Your cow purposely blinds itself with a dart and yells "Bulls-eye"! (LOL! Reminds me of some of the past bloggers we have had here. Sometimes it is good when the old cows (and bulls) leave...all those darts do make them a little blind, and crabby, and since cows do not change their spots, where ever they may go, they will be the same cow, unless they are a bull, or maybe full of bull. One more thought here, what is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you!) Your cow becomes a Muslim and asks to be called "LaCream Abdul Milkbar". (Not sure about this either. I hope no one here, or there cow, gets offended and says I am a racist. I am probably one of the few who has really met and known Muslims, and know that they take their cream very seriously.) Your cow insists Milk Duds are the result of stupid cows.(Now this one makes sense to me. Not sure if that is good or bad, but it does make sense. So how come it is always the cows. When are we going to realize that duds can be either cows or bulls.) Your cow starts laughing hysterically until milk spurts out its nose.(OMG! Cows do that too!) You find your cow hiding secret plans to burn down half of Chicago. (Ok, that is old news. Now bring on more current events. We all know it was Ms. O'Leary who burned down Chicago with her lamp. I think that this might be offensive to some of the cows that are out here. Speaking of secret plans....OK, we all know about that secret plan. Well done, but....we will be back. Just like Chicago was rebuilt to a bigger and better place.) So, now you know. Please keep this list on your refrigerator so that you can be sure if your cow does have made cow disease. (Does anyone here really have a cow? And one last word of advice, not related to your pet cow. Handle every stressful situation like a dog would. Think like a dog, if you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it, and walk away with your tail between your legs.

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shazbot82
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Posted on Sun, Oct 12, 2008 19:34

R,,I have to venture forth into the vast wilderness of a job site without computer access. Be back next weekend. I n the meantime,,would you please keep that GMAN in line and make sure to keep track of how it all plays out. I predict banishment in his future...but I could be wrong. Anyway,,hes MINE I TELL YOU


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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Sun, Oct 12, 2008 18:17

Since we are still all wondering how deeply we may be effected by Mad Cow Disease, or how it shows up in those we know on the blogs... I was wondering how a cow might look at reality. Is there a cow God? And do cows go to cow heaven? Is there such a thing as cow beer? Do they have cow parties when no one is looking? Blogger: Look at that bunch of cows. Farmer: Not bunch, herd. Blogger: Heard what? Farmer: Of cows. Blogger: Sure I've heard of cows. Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd. Blogger: So what? I have no secrets from cows!

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People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Sun, Oct 12, 2008 18:14

Yes, Ready. The Mad Cow Disease is still alive and moooooving around the blogs. However, it is now something we can laugh about. Our little herd of cows and bulls are happily grazing on the green pastures and udderly looking forward to the next days news and events. Or maybe not...contented cows and bulls do not worry about such things. It is much important to avoid all those messy cowpies. What happened when a short cow ran through a tall field of grass? She was udderly tickled to death...

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People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Sun, Oct 12, 2008 18:11

LOL. Shaz. That is what they do for cattle. This is true. And then the have to inseminate the poor cow... And she does not even get that big "O" Poor things... What did the cow say when she got up in the morning? It looks like it is going to be an udderly mooovolous day. This old bull knows where his pleasure comes from...LOL. After while they probably forget about what a real cow is...

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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Sat, Oct 11, 2008 07:25

Hey Queen! - Glad to see your cow blog is mooooving right along! That cow picture of George W is hilarious! I have never heard of a cow cat, is that something you've got on top of them thar' mountains?


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Sat, Oct 11, 2008 05:40

Holy Cow! I see someone was bumping blogs last night and forgot to say what they were thinking... That is so unfair as I know moo are out there and really have something to say...or must really like this blog about cows. Please do not be a cow ard. (I love playing with all these cow words, it has been such a moooving experience) It seems that Mad Cow Disease is still around.... And so, since I do have a few more cow photos that are udderly mooooverlous... (and found a new site with 1000s more) And is is close to Halloween. Now is a great time for that perfect cow outfit for Halloween. This cow thing must be a million dollar industry as so much time is devoted to promoting them in photos and in the fashion industry. I even found a site bragging it has thousands of gifts for cow lovers!!! Q: What do you call a Cow with no legs. A: Ground Beef Have you heard of the cow cat?

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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Sat, Oct 11, 2008 05:37

Hmmmmmm. I wonder who is really wearing this custom for Halloween? Record sales of cow outfits are being seen everywhere this season. Wouldn't you like to be seen as this sexy cow?

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People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Sat, Oct 11, 2008 05:34

Cows can fly! Again, what kind of mind is creating these photos? I thought only pigs could fly? This one even has a broom... What characteristic do we get from drinking milk? It makes us amooooousing.

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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Sat, Oct 11, 2008 05:32

Speaking of politics and the bail out plan.... What happens when you talk to a political cow? It goes in one ear, and out the udder. Look at what I found! This cows face does look familiar. Am I imagining this?

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shazbot82
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Posted on Fri, Oct 10, 2008 10:03

ahhh R,,should we tell the rest of blogland just HOW that semen is collected ? I swear ,its got to be the most preverted act...could you imagine telling someone about your " job" ? " so Jane. what IS IT that you DO on the farm, exactly?" "well Ted, you see, its like this. We take the bulls into the barn's collection room,,insert the electrical probe into his rear. stimlate him to erection, then I use an artifical cow vagina and stimulate him manually until ejaculation. Then we take that fluid, test it for various factors. If he measures up,,he has a happy life of more " stimulating encounters" If not,,he's hamburger by morning." " So, Jane, you ummmm..collect bullsemen for a living ?" " yeap..thats right. I cant even keep a straight face writing about it.Can you imagine the "WAnt Ad" for that job ????


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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Thu, Oct 09, 2008 06:04

Shaz. No one knows who Mr. Big really is. Well, except those who know who that really is....all 12 of them. LOL! But you are correct in the breeding of most of the larger farm animals of today. Artificial insemination is the way to go. Have you seen those dummies that they use to collect semen from the bulls or stallions? Amazing. I suppose they could be compared to the rubber dolls that some men like...or the toys that some women choose. But that is so off topic and belongs on another farm site. In the meantime, talk about the farm on the other side of the fence is now old news. No one here cares anymore. I have heard that they have been included in the recent government bail out plan (there is so much "pork" added that we do not know about) which might save them, but from all reports, that farm may never recover. A new farm manager has been voted in (Mr. Wxyzzzzzs) who has brought in a new herd of cows and bulls in hopes of bringing the farm back to life.... We do wish them well. And we have had fun with all the cows and bulls that have been a part of this blog. No matter what happens, we are all connected and part of this herd.

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People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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shazbot82
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Posted on Tue, Sep 30, 2008 00:26

Randi,,for those if us who udderstand whomoooo your last commnets are about,,,thats HILARIOUS ! My pal over in Australia,,one of them anyway,,he raises Championship Herd Sire Bulls and sells them world wide ( polled herefords) They do all sorts of scientific tests to determine each bulls fertility. Any that dont measure up become Saturday nights Bar-B-Que. NO too-old bulls on his ranch. You probably know how they collect semen...I think we should hook up Mr Old Santa Barb up, get his...uhhh.." fluid" and SEE if he still can " operate" If not..happy dinner ! (BTW..most of the fertilization does not take place by mating....poor bulls lol)


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_HONEY
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Posted on Mon, Sep 29, 2008 22:31

A face to remember!

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_HONEY
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Posted on Mon, Sep 29, 2008 22:29

NOT a palamino!

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_HONEY
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Posted on Mon, Sep 29, 2008 22:26

NEVER EAT YOUR PET!

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_HONEY
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Posted on Mon, Sep 29, 2008 22:24

No Bull? Here I am!

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_HONEY
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Posted on Mon, Sep 29, 2008 22:20

Which way ?????

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_HONEY
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Posted on Mon, Sep 29, 2008 22:19

Do my ears look big?

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_HONEY
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Posted on Mon, Sep 29, 2008 22:17

Ride Me!

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