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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Sun, May 25, 2008 07:32

Much has been written on this subject, have had even more discussions and opinions on it, all I know is they're wonderful! I've been told countless times "they're not real" or "it's not the same as in person". I disagree. I have a male friend who I have never met but have spoken many times on the phone to, emailed numerous times, and my late husband, my son and my sister-in-law have actually met in person. He's been an absolute angel in helping me with some very difficult, mechanical/technical issues I was having when trying to sell my 50 ft. power boat. He's a marine mechanic who works on the whirlpool jet boats that run on the Niagara River that just happened to have the exact same engines as were in my boat. After my husband passed away, I had the task of selling the boat, and it's a large boat for Lake Ontario, so not a huge market. Found a potential buyer, had to have a mechanical inspection and sea trial before the sale could close. The boat had sat for almost 2 yrs. without having the oil changed. Turned out on inspection, they found antifreeze in one of the engines which alarmed the buyer. Not being all that mechanical, I tracked down this marine mechanic who had worked once on my boat. He was gracious enough to do compression tests, change the oil, etc. The buyer was offering he would foot the bill, but it would be deducted from the purchase price. I felt as though that would be opening up my wallet to several thousands of dollars, so decided to handle it myself. Long story short, the sale finally did take place Sept. '04, my marine mechanic came through for me big time and I was very grateful for finally being rid of the boat. My son and sis-in-law went for the day to go on the jet boats and met in person, the mechanic, Ben. He was very nice to them and in fact, arranged to give them free photos of themselves looking like drowned rats after the ride, you get absolutely soaked! Ben developed cancer in '05, was told he only had 3 mos. to live but had a stem transplant and survived. Apparently he was a very large man, around 350 lbs., but he lost more than half his body weight with the cancer. He emails occasionally giving me updates, saying hello, wishing me Happy Birthday, or Mother's Day or whatever occasion and we keep in touch. I heard from him last week, unfortunately the cancer has returned, he's started chemo again but has a great, positive attitude and I know he'll beat it again. I replied how sorry I was to hear about this, and have decided that I just MUST make the effort to get down and finally meet him this summer, take him for a beer and lunch and finally put a face to this person I've come to know and share so much with. Now it's my turn to give back. So for all those non-believers, online friends are as real as you and I!


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Sun, Apr 04, 2010 07:54

Quoting gyongyike

It all comes down to your personal experiences. In my experience, 85% of men only want to get some kind of satisfaction out of you. Very few percentage of them wants a long term realationship. I've met a guy who is a gigolo and would expect you to pay for him so you can be together for a short period of time.

Another one of them pick up women on chat, will never exchange e-mails through MM, so you can not leave a negative feedback. Very clever. It took me some time to figure it out.

And then, there are the ones who love to check out your pictures. They don't want to talk to you, it's only your pictures they are interested in. Can't help to have ideas about why?

Overall, they are all basket cases. You can't tell them your opinion, because then you are being negative. And how dare you are. Hurt a feeling of an outstanding citizen like that.

For all of you Ladies who find a genuine man on this site, you are very exceptional and I wish you all the best.

For me, it makes no sense to pay for this anymore. Just my experience...

 



Hi gyongyike,

 

Had totally forgotten about this blog.  The man I wrote about was not from this dating site, nor any dating site, he was a person who helped me in real life, and although I've never met him in person, I have spoken to him on the phone many times and my family members have met him in person.  He's a very good person who helped me in a great time of need.

 

I've been online for quite some time, have not had any great romantic experiences, but have still not given up hope that the one for me is still out there.  I somehow doubt it will happen online, more likely out there in the real world, but online dating is just one more venue that allows you to connect with those you never would in real life.  It sounds as though you've not been having very good experiences on here.  I've always looked at MM as one giant lab experiment lol!  After a very short while, you get very good and very quick at deciphering who to communicate with, for those like you've described - you learn who to steer clear of, so it's all good in the end.

 

There are some very good people on this site, some of which I've become quite good friends with, so it's been very worthwhile from that perspective.  I agree with you that very few are looking for a long term relationship, but you just never know!  I'm just who I am, it's all I can be and if the right person recognizes that and is also looking for what I'm looking for, that would be great, if not I enjoy the social aspect anyhow for the time being.

 



What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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Posted on Sat, Apr 03, 2010 07:41

It all comes down to your personal experiences. In my experience, 85% of men only want to get some kind of satisfaction out of you. Very few percentage of them wants a long term realationship. I've met a guy who is a gigolo and would expect you to pay for him so you can be together for a short period of time.

Another one of them pick up women on chat, will never exchange e-mails through MM, so you can not leave a negative feedback. Very clever. It took me some time to figure it out.

And then, there are the ones who love to check out your pictures. They don't want to talk to you, it's only your pictures they are interested in. Can't help to have ideas about why?

Overall, they are all basket cases. You can't tell them your opinion, because then you are being negative. And how dare you are. Hurt a feeling of an outstanding citizen like that.

For all of you Ladies who find a genuine man on this site, you are very exceptional and I wish you all the best.

For me, it makes no sense to pay for this anymore. Just my experience...

 



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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Tue, May 27, 2008 10:31

Hmmm ... how odd? The post from shinysunshine is now gone? I was going back to read the name of the book she recommended to tell Ben about and it's disappeared?


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Mon, May 26, 2008 18:11

PuRrFekly_NrML - I'm just waiting to hear back from the last email I sent him to see how he's doing, then I'll suggest we meet. I have not seen Love Letters, but did hear that it was very good. You've got mail was great too! aVirtualone - Thanks for your post and hugs! Looks like you're making lots of new friends here so welcome to you from me. Vicki - I do cherish his friendship and got to thinking how we'd become friends and never met and that resulted in this blog. I think many tend to forget there's a real live, feeling person behind the screen sometimes, and the courtesy that would be afforded face to face, is forgotten. My son tells me "it's different online", I don't agree, I'm the same online or off, I treat others as I would like to be treated. Hey Queen! Saw your new little man and he's adorable! I agree we can be like one big family, a bit dysfunctional at times, but that's just like real life too lol! PaulineMaria - Glad you enjoyed the blog, it seems lately there are more interesting, deeper blogs so that's what I like and what inspired me to blog. I had to laugh at your "balanced perspective" and MM in the same sentence hahaha! Glad you're doing better and venturing into the wild world of dating! Hey Tink - I will arrange to meet up with him when I next hear back. There is no romantic involvement at all, just good friends, but as this is his 2nd round, it's time to make sure we meet face to face. Cutiebooty! - Thanks for the lovely compliment! You know better than most what it's like to not have your health and how much it compromises daily life. You've got an amazing outlook on life as Ben does too, so I just know for both of you, everything will be alright. Many thanks to all of you for your very meaningful posts and condolences, it shows so clearly what this blog is all about!


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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READY4UNOW
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Posted on Mon, May 26, 2008 06:05

Hey CB! It is truly amazing that a virtual friendship can take place as a result of someone having a vision and turning it into a reality. The net puts so much at your fingertips. I will set up a luncheon date with him soon. He certainly went above and beyond in helping me with the many technical issues and tests, and was ever so patient in explaining it all to me. I learned more than I wanted to about boats lol! Hi shadow! I too look at online as just another venue to communicate. Certainly doesn't replace "in person", but allows me to keep in touch. Hi boldnsexy! Thanks for your post, it always amazes me when the universe provides a solution and adds the bonus of friendship. Hey shinysunshine! This is a totally plantonic friendship with this friend of mine, but as you say, I'm very adept at discerning who a person is quickly too and knew immediately this was someone I could trust to have my best interests at heart. At the time of this sale, there were many trying to pull the wool over my eyes as they knew I was clearly out of my realm of knowledge. They knew I needed to sell, they saw opportunity. Hey iamsam! Iamtrulyhonouredtohaveyoushowup! I had to battle with automatically typing spaces lol! I agree friends are not the same as a lifemate, Ben is just a friend, not of romantic interest. butidofeelitsessentialtobefriends withyourlifemate. Your posts always make me laugh :)


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)

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Tinkerbelle
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Posted on Mon, May 26, 2008 00:54

Barb im so sorry to hear about your friend and i completely agree with you. Friendship either on line or off is a precious gift and should be cherished. Make the time to see this man in case you in time lose the opportunity.Its a rare thing to find someone who has so selflessly given to you and your family. On the other hand i want to say this. Online friendship is one thing. Online love is different. If you have this in mind and i hear this a lot when people tell me they have strong feelings for another. I believe in this, you cannot possibly know until you have met. What can begin as a friendship on line can only be furthered in the flesh.


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Queenofyourdreams
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Posted on Sun, May 25, 2008 17:59

I agree. The friends we make online are very real. In fact, it seems like we are all a part of a family.

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People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

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The_Rose
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Posted on Sun, May 25, 2008 17:54

Your friendship sounds special,cherish it!I get a lot of slack from my family about on line friends.My family has seen the effects of identity theft, Nigerians, and how hurtful some people can be and how it affects me.But these people are the minority. My best friends are from the internet.East/West/North/South it does not matter where they live. Some I talk to all the time, others every few months.My on line friends are A special part of my life.Like shadow says we are all people behind the computer with a story and history to share.I have made many friends through the internet.Yet my close circle of friends is small but they have big hearts to give and share.Thats what counts in any friendship on line or off line.


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aVirtualone
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Posted on Sun, May 25, 2008 17:38

You said it all my new online friends!! Hugs, Lisi


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iamsamiam33
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Posted on Sun, May 25, 2008 15:21

hellomyfriend friendsarenotthesameas findingamate havelotsoffriendshere butnotthesameaslove ormeetingonethatwemightlove.


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Posted on Sun, May 25, 2008 07:41

There are people behind the computers and they care. Every single one of us is very much real. I look at it as another form of communication, and honestly, I get to talk to you guys more than my in-person friends. It also helps me keep in contact with those off the computer. Sometimes I'll get a call from someone on here and then I'll turn around and call someone else whether it be my mom, brother, friend in Ca...


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crazybeautiful2000
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Posted on Sun, May 25, 2008 07:39

Ready, what a beautiful story. Just goes to show you how relationships have evolved in this day and age of technological advances. I really do hope you get to meet him and lunch, it kinda sounds to me like he thinks you are really special.


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