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Posted on Mar 08, 2008 at 12:34 AM

I must admit that I am a complete failure at training women. I thought you guys might want to give me some tips, or at least tell me what didn't work for you. All of my attempts just seems to pi*s them off. And if you women have any tips, I will listen to that too, although I really hate to listen to women about anything much; unless they preface the conversation with "sir", and end it with "yes sir". signed Desperate

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Posted on Mar 15, 2008 at 05:21 PM

I can't believe I got this in my mail today. It is so appropriate for this Blog, but.........am I ever gonna get slammed for this unless everyone knows it's a JOKE. Hopefully a sense of humor will prevail over anyone taking offense. This is sent from someone named MAX, supposedly the Internets answer to Maxine. MEN STRIKE BACK!!!! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ----------------------------------------------- -------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me.............' ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a perfectly good clock on the stove. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. .................................. OK, Now I'm going into the Witness Protection Program. Wish me luck??

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Posted on Mar 15, 2008 at 02:24 AM

believe me,,he knows what he is in for. My private personal motto is : "a little bondage can be fun" He may well be the only man in the world that CAN make me want to "behave" lol and if you can imagine it...I even LIKE being submissive to him...within reason.

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Posted on Mar 14, 2008 at 09:14 PM

Quoting: Originally posted by onegenuineq SIR, I am a quick LEARNER... And when the student surpasses the master....then it's the master's turn to be retrained. I'm ready if you Are. Sir, Yes Sir LOL

I am sorry, I have been retrained by the best. And retrained and retrained. lol However, about your training. I am going to go on vacation for a few weeks, can you wait until I get back??

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Posted on Mar 14, 2008 at 07:36 PM

SIR, I am a quick LEARNER... And when the student surpasses the master....then it's the master's turn to be retrained. I'm ready if you Are. Sir, Yes Sir LOL

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Posted on Mar 14, 2008 at 12:26 PM

my coffee pot has a head of steam on it wwww

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Posted on Mar 14, 2008 at 08:01 AM

Quoting: Originally posted by shazbot82 you dawg......how else should we respond??? LOL I am surprized that you didnt jump in with some fun-but-biting comment about MY comment. My next training session is scheduled for late July..and not a minute too soon ! Im letting him drag me off to the Wild for some uninhibited howling for about ten days. Imay never come back !

I hope he knows that he will need one of those collars with the big spikes in it. Leather will just not be enough in your case. lololol

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Posted on Mar 14, 2008 at 12:37 AM

Quoting: Originally posted by coachcat Sir...reporting for camp...sir. (I like wearing boots:) Adjust whatever you like...sir...I like a man in uniform too, so go ahead and call in the Army too (just make sure they are all goodlooking and ready to "whip" me into shape.) LOL For the ladies only...Don't read this part WWWW...Sometimes ladies it's fun to go along and role play. Let them FEEL like they are in control. We all know different. Hey wwww...you were told not to read the last part. Your first lesson in women is to listen to them. LOL

Hysterical!!! Sign me up too Coach!! I'll even wear the T-shirt wet for ya wwwws in the interest of research of course and learning no doubt!!! Ahhh, coach...do we ALWAYS have to be the teachers?

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Posted on Mar 13, 2008 at 08:03 PM

you dawg......how else should we respond??? LOL I am surprized that you didnt jump in with some fun-but-biting comment about MY comment. My next training session is scheduled for late July..and not a minute too soon ! Im letting him drag me off to the Wild for some uninhibited howling for about ten days. Imay never come back !

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Posted on Mar 12, 2008 at 03:31 AM

WWWWsss LOLOL you are such a goof! lololol Irocas..i agree, the guys should say 'yes dear'' always LOLOLOLOL

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Posted on Mar 11, 2008 at 09:00 PM

Here is the kind of smart Azz reply you get from women that need training.

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Posted on Mar 11, 2008 at 08:57 PM

One training method is to come out with a really eye catching opening statement of some sort.

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Posted on Mar 11, 2008 at 08:54 PM

Here is another training message with visuals for coach Well they deleted that too, and it was only a woman with a zippered mouth. Now what was wrong with that?? I am getting irritated MM About time to leave again.

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Posted on Mar 11, 2008 at 09:18 AM

Auno, I guess they delete your enclosures in your post. They did the same in my reply to Coach. I am not happy.

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Posted on Mar 11, 2008 at 08:59 AM

Oh my dear Irocas, I would definately be happy to see you when you opened that trunk.. Would have a big smile on my face and giving you a big hug as I was stuffing you into the trunk with the dog for a couple of hours then I would drive around looking for all the pothole and bumps I could find. What was that you were saying.. Well Yes Dear you want out. Yes Dear when I ready to let you out.. Yes Dear Dog farts in tight areas is a new experience.. Yes Dear told you not to buy a horse desguised as a dog. Yes Dear this is my favorite song, turning up volume in back. Yes Dear another hundred miles we will be home. What is that, Yes Dear I love you too..

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Posted on Mar 11, 2008 at 12:23 AM

Here is what I really think of coach. Hope they let it stay.

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Posted on Mar 10, 2008 at 08:54 PM

Coach, I bet you would look good in boots. Only boots. Just make sure they don't go above the ankles. lol And I am sorry, but the camp only has ugly guys, and I mean really dog ugly. I am the only one that looks like a movie star, and after a month or two, I look even better. Probably as good as two or three movie stars. lol

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Posted on Mar 10, 2008 at 05:49 PM

Sir...reporting for camp...sir. (I like wearing boots:) Adjust whatever you like...sir...I like a man in uniform too, so go ahead and call in the Army too (just make sure they are all goodlooking and ready to "whip" me into shape.) LOL For the ladies only...Don't read this part WWWW...Sometimes ladies it's fun to go along and role play. Let them FEEL like they are in control. We all know different. Hey wwww...you were told not to read the last part. Your first lesson in women is to listen to them. LOL

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Posted on Mar 10, 2008 at 03:21 PM

My voice is much better than Barry's. His is a high tenor in comparison. lol Of course I can't carry a tune, but who cares. Its the sweet nothings that count. lol Well, to be truthful, I may sound more like that bull. lol

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Posted on Mar 10, 2008 at 09:02 AM

Sir, and only if Yes,sir.. Those are my thoughts..lol

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