Member's Blog > Wwww12345's blogs > IRS, my favorite folks
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Posted on Jan 28, 2008 at 12:42 AM

Tax time is just around the corner, and I thought we needed a place to show IRS how much we love them. Just post your stuff here. Here is one I just got via email. The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead." Ralph says, "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet." Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you $2,000 that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost $3,000, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you $6,000 that I can stand on one side of your desk, and p_ee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me $20,000 that he could come in here and p_ee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."

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Posted on Feb 01, 2008 at 03:29 PM

Let's change Ralphs name to Wesley Snipes....lol

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Posted on Jan 28, 2008 at 02:02 PM

that would tke care of my current tax bill..I'll have to remember that.

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Posted on Jan 28, 2008 at 09:50 AM

Quoting: Originally posted by billzeke LOL 5'W's It would appear that we have a mutual contact on our e-mail and it's not Ralph. At first I thought it was deja vous. Then I realized I wasn't really losing my mind.

Yes Bill, I got the joke from your Thanksgiving friend

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Posted on Jan 28, 2008 at 08:54 AM

That is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!


What is love? Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. :)
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Posted on Jan 28, 2008 at 07:59 AM

LOL 5'W's It would appear that we have a mutual contact on our e-mail and it's not Ralph. At first I thought it was deja vous. Then I realized I wasn't really losing my mind.

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