Member's Blog > Virgogem's blogs > The Perfect Cheeseburger
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Posted on Jan 11, 2008 at 07:11 AM

Jimmy Buffet's got nothing on me. I did it! I created the greatest cheeseburger ever! That's right folks..... EVER!!!!!! My mouth and stomach were jealous of my eyes for looking at it. It being half a pound of American Kobe beef. It was so rare I heard a distant moo when I bit into it. It was set on a brioche with tomato aioli and an obscene amount of thinly sliced red onion. One bite and my eyes wanted my mouth arrested for Grand Theft Burger. My stomach advised against it because it knew what was coming. The carnage was over in seconds. My eyes and mouth were now in cahoots. They wanted to sue my stomach but they soon realized they had no evidence. My stomach let intestinal fortitude take over. Humble apologies to our vegitarian contingency. (The herbivores ate well 'cause their didn't never runnnnnnn)

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Posted on Jan 14, 2008 at 12:19 PM

ahhh james how nice of you ! ive been sick the last few days and what Im tossing up must be worse than your blob. We should have named it...lol. I could use a good strong belt of whiskey right about now.That and about 15 solid hours of sleep. I had a hamburger last night in your honor.NO cheese or gack. are you still actively practicing drumming ?

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Posted on Jan 14, 2008 at 09:17 AM

What's a little gack among friends? Kathi, if you removed your comment on my blog, thank you. If you thought Shaz was picking on me or being mean to me or whatever and you were standing up for me again I say thank you... But apparently what you missed is that Darcy and I get along quite swimmingly. We have much in common, including a thoroughly twisted sense of humor. All I'm really asking is that if you have something negative to say to anyone take it up with them. On their blogs or yours. Not on mine. If you want to talk about cheeseburgers, however, I'm your man! James.

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Posted on Jan 13, 2008 at 10:12 PM

and some drowned in a sea of gack. lolol...sorry, im hung up on PUS apparently.

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Posted on Jan 13, 2008 at 09:30 PM

I see it too, Rubie! In my head, it's on a billboard... VIRGOBURGER... (Insert giant image of my burger split in half into a V formation with little cheeseburgers gaught in its gravitational pull and orbiting around it.) IT'S A GEM.... Subsequent commercials depict the fates of those little cheeseburgers: Some turned to booze on the sleezy side of town. Some went to church. Some went to the gym in a futile (but hopeful) attempt to bulk up. Some burned candles in effigy. Some got jobs at fast food joints. (See the irony?) Some took very long walks. Some embraced the situation and tried to become a better cheese burger. Some climbed to the tops of mountains to contemplate. Or to jump. Some turned to a life of crime. Some played a little light music. Some joined the Army because The Dumbest Man Ever told us it was the right thing to do. Some sat in therapists office. Some wrote books. Some used their parent's money and went on tour with the Band Of The Moment. Some blogged.

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Posted on Jan 12, 2008 at 02:33 AM

tink , its my slang word for the pus that is drained or expressed from a cyst. you did ask.

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Posted on Jan 12, 2008 at 12:40 AM

Re:whats gack ?? shazbot82 write: does that come with an order of gack on the side ?


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Posted on Jan 11, 2008 at 08:20 PM

I can haz cheezeburgerz?

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Posted on Jan 11, 2008 at 07:37 PM

oopse . .forgot about the onion roll. Sliced, buttered and toasted in the skillet...

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Posted on Jan 11, 2008 at 07:34 PM

Gah. . . I can't believe it! You completely forgot the bacon, lettuce, tomoto (chopped), chili, and melted cheese! Actually sour cream and jalapenos are good too. Oh oh . . . I almost forgot! YOu gotta mix the hamberger with A-1 and diced onions, pepper, salt, and diced onions! Then... THEN . . . YOu have to make homemade potato chips . . *grins*

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Posted on Jan 11, 2008 at 11:23 AM

does that come with an order of gack on the side ?

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Posted on Jan 11, 2008 at 08:47 AM

yummy but naughty

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