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perihelion
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Posted on Mon, Nov 05, 2007 12:31

You and your prospect.... You: Sorry, but your behaviour/words/way you carry yourself painfully reminds me of somebody who was not a good/honest/trustworthy, etc person Him/Her: But you don't know me at all, you are just projecting old pain onto a brand new person and basically kicking the dog. How do you find a BALANCE between learning from your experience, and especially mistakes, and "kicking the dog", your new date, when you see the same red flags all over?


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perihelion
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total posts: 414
Posted on Wed, Nov 07, 2007 05:59

I think what scares me more is a man who's sitting in the closet and wearing blue-green eyeshadows ;o) You know, I used to be upfont with men who were asking about what exactly I did not like in them... and who'd love to hear a list of red flags, right? Now, to conserve time and energy, mostly mine ha ha ha, I just throw in a cliche about "not feeling chemisty" and all that "modern dating lingo" jazz and get off the hook easy!! While I agree that I may not know the person I just met, and use judgement of previous experiences... wouldn't be wiser to skip him and wait for somebody who'd make you go WOW without any red flags???


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Posted on Tue, Nov 06, 2007 10:56

Re: Mariana2005 write: I just have a very "simple" mind, if we only have one life to live and we don't know how long or short is it, why waste your time?

And conversely, why waste anyone else's time?


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Posted on Mon, Nov 05, 2007 23:08

My Mother always said to be kind to dumb animals, so no kicking of the dog. I agree with Mariana and Deve. Excellent blog, Peri. SSS


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Posted on Mon, Nov 05, 2007 16:26

I call it Sins of the Father, blame the child right. I had a first phone call with a lady I had emailed and IM'ed for a couple of weeks. After the phone call she would not reply to emails or IM's. One day I saw her online and I asked her why no contact. She said my voice reminded her of her abusive ex and could not get past it. I thought it was so lame but then her loss. When I see bad character flaws I don't relate them to a person from the past but to actions I will accept or not.


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