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A *Real* Blog About Nothing... Sort by:
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Posted on Feb 09, 2007 at 11:01 PM

It feels as if I should be a smoker. I don't have oral fixation or fiddle with my hands a lot like some people, but it feels like I should be smoking. I don't know why?I don't even like smoking. The smell, what it does to your body and your teeth, and yet? I still can't shake the notion that I should be smoking. I think a lot?often, if not all the time. Sounds normal, right? To be self aware, and aware of the things around me. I always keep both eyes open. I think, therefore I am, and all that rot. Pondering= good. Well, with thinking come questions. I'm inquisitive by nature, and it's probably caused by all the thinking. The thing of it is, "just because" is not a justifiable answer to me. What does that mean? It explains nothing. But people who are fine with the "just because" response and use it habitually, have problems with people like me who say "Because what? Why? What is your reasoning?" and so forth. I suppose? asking questions like that makes the "just because" person think, and forcing them to leave their comfort zones. So lately, I don't bother asking "why" at all anymore. It doesn't get me anywhere but an argument, and someone giving me that "you is sho nuff kwazy" kind of look. And honestly, I'm not crazy. Unusual, perhaps. Abnormal? But I see this as a good thing, because the usual and the normal is well, just plain boring, and alludes to the fact of being ordinary. I'm not ordinary. But then again, I'm not a house hold name or anything like that, so what difference does that make? I only truly exist to me, and maybe to the people who actually give a damn (about me). Basically I wrote this because? I'm tired of arguing. Or people accusing me of being standoffish because I'm quiet?I'm an artist, and fiction writer, which makes me a day dreamer or one who habitually fantasizes throughout the day. Is it so wrong that I don't want to talk all the time? Can't I just? be? What's so wrong with that? And when I do talk, people usually just want me to be quiet. What's up with that? Make up your mind?you can't have it both ways. (I suppose you may have expected me to use the "you can't have your cake and eat it to" bit, but really, it's totally hackneyed?almost as much as the word "totally," and it makes no sense. If you're having cake, why wouldn't you want to eat it? What? You're just gonna observe it? Put it in a cabinet with the fine China?)

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