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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 16:56

PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of____, 2004 , by_____, between ____ and ____. THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES: 1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning. 2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening. 3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have crap to talk about. 4. None of that "lovemaking" stuff - only sex allowed. 5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask. 6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then! it's only a one-time advanced arrangement. 7. All gifts accepted - money is always good. 8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged. 9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your dang business. 10. No calling each other "friends with privileges", ?friends with benefits?, we are not friends, just f*** buddies. 11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended. 12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave. 13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your self up, get dressed, and go the hell home. 14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care. 15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason. 16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend." 17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better. 18. NO condoms, NO sex. Carry your ass home. 19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store. 20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for you. 21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who's! paying....you pay this time, I pay next. 22. Don't bring any of your friends with you, unless they're gonna join the party. * EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules. Participating Party Signature_______ Date: ________ Participating Party Signature________ Date:_______ P.S. THIS IS JUST A JOKE!!! well unless.....j/k


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angelface10
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Posted on Sat, May 26, 2007 12:00

Hmmm... Who puts out these contracts ? ........ Lucifer & Sons ...... : (


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Posted on Wed, Jan 24, 2007 05:01

Kari, sometimes even cowboys like a little rock'n roll... Deb, I've never actually handed one out, i guess the fear of getting slapped by larges groups of women have lead me to believe I am safer just asking if they'd like to dance first...... Seplo, don't you just hate it when we do that. Dang snuggling... Vegas, i would love to get a Hummer from you, I could always use another vehicle..


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sepelo7
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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 23:47

love it! Problem is the men are the ones that seem to break these rules. . .they wanna get involved they wanna cuddle. . ewww!


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 20:28

lol Whisper....... I have had two babies and do you know.....BOTH TIMES I used a MAN Now ain't that something.....lol We shall meet at dawn and I'll bring my power tools.


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LatinPrincess4U
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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 20:18

Whoa!!!, Randy!! & here I thought you were this sweet lovable cowboy of a man!!!, lol, lol Hugs, KARI


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 20:11

Hmmm, you been spying on me Nomad!!! However, i will have you know i made a new feedbunk with just a chainsaw and hammer one time...


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 19:45

With the greatest of compliments from 'Amazinghumour.comet' I shall be taking names soon:-) Training Courses Now Available for Men: ============================= = > 1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop = > 2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge = > 3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Wedding and the Funeral = > 4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead = > 5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum? - You CAN Tell the Difference! = > 6. Accepting Loss I: If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away = > 7. Accepting Loss II: If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back = > 8. Going to the Supermarket - It's Not Just for Women Anymore! = > 9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In = > 10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In = > 11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink = > 12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels! = > 13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper! = > 14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the Goodwill = > 15. Retro, Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your '70s Polyester Shirts = > 16. Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware: No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves = > 17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel! = > 18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means = > 19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond McDonald's = > 20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category = > 21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote = > 22. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh = > 23. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet = > 24. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed = > 25. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It! = > 26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty = > 27. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them = > 28. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime = > 29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 19:24

Deb, just what I do when i can't get no lovin.....


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 19:15

Randy, don't worry about it, just another unwarranted attack from a devil bound soul. Tim, yeah I figured it bothered you. Doesn't make it hurt any less though.


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 19:11

You lost me on that one Candie, did i miss something?


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 19:02

Guys, I do not believe in either line of bull. Buddy may be shy but he is not modest. I removed the pig remark from the other post. I do not believe it, but it still hurts like hell. Yeah, I am a woman so I admit it made me bawl. Oh well, it takes all kinds. I need a man who truly wants me and then I will be too busy to even bother with MM.


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 18:34

You believed that line of bull huh....


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 18:28

Well Randy I respect modesty in a man. And anyway it would not prove anything, would it? Sigh, me bad. Never mind.


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 18:24

Speaking up here. Tim? You don't do that right? You are waiting for your one? Hmmm, they did mention blue tights for you on another blog. Maybe they are not tights but a certain condition men get when they are abstaining.


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 18:24

No prob Tim ,you never know when you might need a copy. It's a jungle out there.... Candie, I'm way to modest for that...


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 18:04

My, my, touchy aren't you. Well cowboy... prove it.... I dare ya.... I trible, quadruple, dare ya.... Show us a pic, no not of little Randy. But hey a swimsuit would be nice.


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 17:19

And who said it was a guy....


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 17:18

Candi, don't make me prove I'm not gay, not that that there is anything wrong with that... (off of Seinfeld)


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Posted on Tue, Jan 23, 2007 17:13

Randy I am confused. A male college buddy sent it to you? Uhm, did you sign it. Just saying.


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