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Emotional Monogamy --try it on for size Sort by:
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Posted on Sat, Jan 06, 2007 14:52

Emotional Monogamy So many of you are hung up on this concept of monogamy, and yet you have no idea what the concept is even about. You are all so insecure if your man screws around on you, yet half of you are doing shopping lists while you are having sex with him after a few years of marriage. Of course, nobody (man or woman) wants to admit that to their "spouse" or significant other, nor that they are thinking of the guy or girl they saw at the mall or walking down the street. So why is it so important,this concept, when you are all lying like hell to one another--emotionally cheating, never sharing one's true feelings, and yet everyone acts as if they are so "faithful to one another". I say b.s. It is a bunch of hypocrisy and nonsense to assuage people's guilty feelings for what they might do if they were to have sex with another person, SINCE THEY SO ARE ASHAMED AND AFRAID TO FREELY AND IN THE OPEN SHARE FEELINGS OF LUST FOR OTHERS TO THEIR PARTNER WITH TRUE HONESTY AND INTEGRITY. But why? You aren't being honest anyway to your partner. Women and me both tell more to their best friends than they do to their significant others. Can you be trusted with innermost secrets and will you be trusted to never turn on your man or woman (as the case may be), no matter what, no matter how angry you get when the chips are down, can you be counted on to be his/ her best friend, not just lover, and can you not acted like a spurned lover, but as a real friend and confidant, to do the "right thing", just as he/she would do for you, when he/she needs you most to "be there" for him/her and not stab them in the back"--AS MOST WOMEN DO--SINCE THEY ARE INSECURE, CAN'T BE TRUSTED, AND ALWAYS THINK THAT IT IS ABOUT NOT GETTING DUMPED UPON/LEFT OR CHEATED ON. MAYBE IF YOU HAD ENOUGH SECURITY NOT TO BE SO SCARED AND WERE WOMAN ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FUCKING AND LOVING, YOU WOULDN'T BE LEFT. A MAN MAY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER WOMAN, with you there or without but he does not want to love every woman he meets. Most importantly, he doesn't want to be best friends with every woman he meets, it takes a special kind of woman to be a lover and a friend. WOMEN and even men HAVE IT ALL WRONG--IT IS ABOUT BEING BEST FRIENDS--AND SOULMATES!!!!! Emotional monogomy is where it is really at, to be honest with one's feelings and truths and so few people can live it and do it. Can you? No matter what. And deal with the consequences.... Cause that is the WHOLE PACKAGE, The REAL DEAL.... TRY THAT ON FOR SIZE AND SEE HOW IF FITS.


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Posted on Tue, Dec 16, 2008 18:56

I agree with you. Mind, body, heart, soul. If it is not all there best that it not be done or is but a meaningless act. True essence is of utmost significance and it makes all the difference. Thank you for your thoughts.


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LatinPrincess4U
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Posted on Sun, Jan 07, 2007 14:42

Oh Jon, you are just saying that, I know it's not true!!!, lol, lol I know you just wnat "one" hot night of passion!!!, lol Hugs, KARI


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AsianAmericanIdol
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Posted on Sun, Jan 07, 2007 14:38

I really don't think you can compare one person cheating on the other with someone "just looking" or merely being attracted to someone else. Unless someone slips roofies into their drink, cheating is a conscious act of will. The other one really isn't within our control, but so long as you don't act on it, you've got nothing to feel guilty about. As for actual cheating, it can be a VERY big deal if you end up bringing an STD home to your primary partner, get the other woman pregnant, or cheat with someone who turns out to have "fatal attraction" tendencies. At the same time, my definition of what does and doesn't constitute cheating does seem to get more lax over time. Once upon a time, if I was dating someone, I thought that meant I wasn't supposed to be dating anyone else. Then I revised it to once I started being intimate with one person, that meant all other men were off limits. I learned pretty quickly that the men I dated weren't operating by the same rules and weren't giving me nearly as much consideration. Now I've decided that so long as we haven't had the "I love you and want us to be exclusive" talk, I don't have to be faithful to the guy, because he probably isn't being faithful to me either anyway. Most of the time, I will be anyway, due to not having any decent counter offers from any other guys, or to being so into the guy that I'm seeing that having any other guy touch me would just be unthinkable, but I've kind of gotten past that feeling that I "owe" it to him, just because we've done the deed.


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MountainWinds
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Posted on Sun, Jan 07, 2007 08:14

I have to think about this one a bit more. I'm not sure I agree with your definition of emotional monogamy.


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sepelo7
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Posted on Sat, Jan 06, 2007 15:30

because I have such a short attention span I didnt read your whole blog so pardon me if my comment doesnt really apply. I have always said that I would rather my man cheat on me with a one night stand rather than have a real relationship with another woman. It would hurt a whole lot more if he really connected with a woman on a level more than just physical.


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