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ASKING A GUY OUT! Sort by:
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Posted on Sat, Dec 16, 2006 10:08

I know this is perfectly normal and acceptable today. Young girls do it all the time. But I'm not from that generation! I'm more reserved & conservative. A few weeks ago, a couple of good friends of mine (a very happily married couple of 25 yrs) suggested to me that I date one of her co-workers, who I have met several times over the past 2 yrs at parties. Initially I thought, no. Then I thought..."he is tall, dark, handsome". lol So I asked my friend if she had invited him to her Xmas party. She replied, "No, but she would." My friend's Christmas party was last Saturday night. This fellow came. We talked for 2 hrs just the 2 of us. Then another 2 hrs with other people...he could have left my side at anytime, but did not. When I was leaving my friend ran up to me and excitedly commented, "well things seemed to go very well...do you want me to give you his phone number?" I didn't think I could do that, so suggested she give him mine. She replied, "Then he'll know we talked about him." I said, "Good point, let me think about it." The next day I decided to be brave...I'll get his phone number. Well, she didn't have his phone number, but gave me his last name to look it up in the phone book, which I did. There was only one in the book, so I called that number. Oh God! His ex answered and told me he hadn't lived there in a very long time! lol The next day it occurred to me that my phone book is at least 2 yrs old. My friend told me he was out of town, & would be back in the office Thursday. Thursday morning...I call him at work. I am nervous as hell! I tell him who I am, then my mind goes blank! I try to remember what my friend told me to say...something about "I enjoyed our conversation and thought maybe we could go to a movie together sometime." it sounded a little hokey to me, but it was something! lol I start to say what she told me...I was tripping over my words...sounding like a stuttering, blustering, babbling idiot! I remember saying, "This is awkward." "I'm a little nervous. I've never done this before." Then, "Hold on." I take a deep breathe, "Okay, I'll start over." lol He said, "Yes, that sounded great and would love to go out with me." Whew! What a relief. With the fear of rejection out of the way, after the first 2 minutes, we enjoyed a pleasant conversation for another 10 minutes at least! I have to commend you guys...it is NOT easy to call someone up and ask them out. Fortunately, this fellow said he'd call me next time. That's good, because I don't think I could do this twice! LOL I was practically having an anxiety attack! It's a good thing we've had other conversations over the last 2 yrs...he knows I can actually speak intelligently. Otherwise, he would have thought I was mentally obtuse and hung up! lol With Xmas and our family schedules, it will be the 1st week of January before we have our first date...barring he doesn't get run over by a truck, fall off a cliff, break a leg skiing, or get cold feet! lol So ladies, having been on the asking end for the first time, it's tough and nerve racking. So remember to be nice, even if you are telling him, "No thank you." Let him down gently!


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Posted on Mon, Dec 18, 2006 17:23

Devoted...I don't know what you mean, "have I changed my opinion about women contacting a man first." I never thought it was an inappropriate action for a woman to take. On the contrary, I commend women who are so brave. RE: "If I had winked or emailed first would the results have been different..." First, I'd never wink at anyone. If I'm going to contact someone first, I'll email. Secondly, I have emailed a few men first and not given it a second thought. I was fine with it. I disagree with you about a woman getting a response if she were to wink or email first...I think the lack of response is about equal for both men or women, unless you are model material (male/female). Devoted this guy I called, was not from the internet. What made it different...the computer gives us a form of courage we might not otherwise have. Definitely true for me. You can build up a friendship over the internet, so that when you finally speak on the phone, you've built up this rapport that it is no surprise to either of you. And if you choose to meet, same scenario...it's no surprise. In this situation, this fellow wasn't expecting a call from me. And if I hadn't been 99.9% certain he'd say yes...I'd never have made that call. I'm a little shy, and I'm chicken in that regard...kluk, kluk, kluk! lol

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Posted on Sun, Dec 17, 2006 10:11

Hey thenewman, thanks...I've got my fingers crossed...I'm tired of the dating scene. It would be nice to be done with it, and have someone to do things with. Honestly, if my friend hadn't reaffirmed what I already felt myself...that he wouldn't say 'no'...I know I would not have called. I'm a chicken! kluk,kluk,kluk! lol If other women can make such a call knowing they could potentially be rejected...WOW! I really admire them...as well as you GUYS who do the calling all the time. I have to say...the internet can give us great courage...it's not the same when you get away from the internet...can't put my finger onit to explain, but I think people can relate to what I'm trying to convey. LL...if you've done this more than once...A toast to ya! You are one brave gal! Thanks...let's hope he doesn't change his mind! lol Puck...thank you...it is definitely a lesson in being humble. Walking in a "man's" shoes so to speak...teaches that lesson well, in this situation. Always be KIND! :-) Gem...thanks...Brave for one moment only,because of the fact it was a slam dunk ... otherwise ... kluk, kluk, kluk would have been more like it! lol BnB...thanks...it's your turn next, okay? Then you can give us your report! lol Crazy...thanks...crossing my fingers! :-)


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crazybeautiful2000
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Posted on Sun, Dec 17, 2006 09:18

Sharp, you go girl!


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Posted on Sat, Dec 16, 2006 20:48

Hey Paulina...I did have a good sense that he liked me. We had spoken in July at our mutual friends' 25th Anniversary party for awhile also. That's the benefit of having all married couples for friends. They are happy to play match maker and pass out phone numbers! lol Until now, I've always avoided being matched up. No, not the same person, that was just a good friend. Starfinder...I had my finger on the 'OFF' button of the receiver. If he had not picked up by the 3rd ring...that's it, I would have been gone! lol Who knows if I would have called back...I might have lost my nerve! Once is enough! Thank you Mysticbuzz and Michael...I might be the lucky one too! Crossing my fingers. Michael...I never want to have to call a guy up and ask him out again! lol Boopster, my stomache was in an excited knot for at least 10 minutes after...good thing it was empty! nkp...Thanks...definitely confidence. But it's funny, because I have all the confidence in the World when it comes to meeting someone from the internet...but someone I've known casually for a couple of years, who I know we have alot in common, and I might have the potential to like him ALOT...my confidence suddenly feels shaken. Maybe it's not a confidence thing, but one of fear...you know...of having the 'ol heart broken. I guess that's the risk we all have to take. Mariana...you might want to buy a Lasso to catch that Healey! You can hog tie him...he'll never get away! lol Debbie...I like a man who knows when to take the lead! lol


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lovelylotus
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Posted on Sat, Dec 16, 2006 20:43

Congrats, sharp! I speak from experience when I tell you that it gets easier with practice. (Man, did that sound sad! I guess I don't get asked out much) Honey, he is a lucky guy and you are a fabulous woman. Good luck on your date!


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Boopster2000
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Posted on Sat, Dec 16, 2006 12:11

Sharon, Baby girl that is too cool, I am so proud of you. I would have gotten so nervous I might have thrown up!!!LOL


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