As I sit here contemplating what to write I find myself thinking about all the interesting people ive met on here, many who have become friends. What an opportunity it is to sample a taste of other peoples culture and ideas. It is a privilege for me to have met you all. I am here for the ride, lets all enjoy
My dear Bloggers, ive been talking to a male friend on here today and its flipped a lightswitch in my head.
Dont run to the hills.... but its time to tip our hats to men.
For sure there are plenty of perverts and scammers ,sleaze bags and the like, and those it has been my misfortune to come across you know who you are,?but you know there are good guys too and i would like to nod my appreciation in their direction.
It must be said at this point theres a world of difference in between English and American men. Englishmen are generally more anal, but have a better sense of humour although on here I suspect i? thats because although we speak the same language the humour is vastly different. Most times American men just dont get it. Englishmen dont tend? to be so pervy unless on a specifically adult site and if you,log on to those then you get what you pay for........?However I digress Im here to salute the American man
Darling men. For the most part I have found you to be erudite and interesting. You know how to talk and for the most part are educated and reasonably well read. A tribute to your education system, i suspect.?I have found much warmth in our conversations and real genuine friendship which goes way beyond the trivial and banal getting to know you entrees we are used to. You have seemed to be interested in me as a person and have generally been unfailingly polite, something I fear is missing in this modern world.?I find you slightly sexual in tone , generally in a very playful way which is not offensive. Those I have spoken to on the telephone have been warm interesting and friendly and invariably i have laid the receiver down smiling. For those who have become my friends you have shown me unfailing support and discretion, something i value greatly. Englishmen do not have this and I find that very sad. American men allways have something positive to say and even if I dont agree with it I respect it. Most have respect and love their families and above all love their country.
So American men I salute you.? It has allways been said that English women have a soft spot for American men and vice versa. I know this to be true for it has happened to me. American men rock.
?All that remains to be said is this do you American women feel the same way about your men.? Am I looking at them through rose tinted specs because I am English? Would you rather have a man from foreign shores? or do you appreciate what you have at home?
In life we are told its all in the timing. Wherther it be personal decisions , business, buying a house, having a child, whatever. Is it though?
Obviously whatever the situation, if the timing is right, everything falls into place at more or less the right time. The decision making process is made easier as it seems there is a natural forward moving series of events , each intertwined , each one following the other towards a natural conclusion.
Great. Just great. What if though your timing is off> Does that mean its a no go? we should forget our dream? No I dont think so. I think that , timing is great if you happen to have it but if not , well you just have to work a little harder to achieve your goal.
Its all, I feel, about having lateral thinking about the ways you can achieve your goals. For sure if I really want something I will turn over heaven on earth to get it. I dont care how many twists and turns I have to make as long as I get there in the end. Whenever theres a problem though people say to me? Timing , its all about the timing, and without it you have nothing. Without timing you can go nowhere. Without timing forget it.?
Ok so you have found what you think is a great partner. You are interested, they are hot, and you are out on your first date.
My question is this, is there anything that could be a dealbreaker here. What is it you just cant overlook? What is it that could stop you in your tracks for you to say no to another date.
Could it be they have annoying habits , a speech impediment of some kind, a whiny voice, repetitious conversation,the wrong political convictions? What about if they have halitosis , dont stop talking and even worse are bad in bed !!
What is it that does it for you?
For me, only last week I had my own deal breaker. Nice looking man, tall, looks a bit like George Clooney sparkly blue eyes, good conversation. Nice . Very nice, but then it happened. He drove me home at the end of the date, walked me to my house. Looked in to my eyes and ran his hand through my hair. He pulled me to him and kissed me.. A soft kiss his lips just brushing mine. Lovely. Im very big on kissing, And then it happened.......
Then he pounced and gave it his best shot a big wet smacker of a kiss. All slobbery . I thought one of two things, either he was going to eat me alive or i was going to drown UGH UGH ......and that was it. My deal breaker a very bad kisser
In relationships there are allways things which we are not happy with, and Im wondering just what it is or what combination of things signal enough.
Lets take out of the equasion the classic finishers of relationships like¿infidelity, criminal activity, abuse, drugs etc. Lets concentrate on the smaller things.
Your partner may be wonderful but are there things you just cant tolerate for long if at all?
What if your partner has a habit of eyeing up the opposite sex in your company, and making a commentary about that person. If your partner openly or even subtly flirts with others
What about a partner who cant allways quite look you in the eye , who cant allways tell the truth, who is secretive. How about if they are not great communicators and bottle things up?so every issue and discussion becomes a torture
Is it ok if your partner never tells you you look good , rarely professes love or ¿has a fear of intimacy. Can you tolerate a partner who although they say they love you is allways suggesting little ways you should change. Or a partner who instead of embracing all the positives about you allways seems to pick on the negatives.
Im not suggesting bloggers that your mate should display all of these things , but my question is what would it take for you to say no, enough is enough even though you have feelings for them. What are your tolerance thresholds?
I used to set my tolerance levels to nought but as ive got older ive become a bit more relaxed about it. Is that a good thing do you think?
Well bloggers im continuing my series on love and relationships.
In todays metropolitan world I ask this question.
is it time to settle for what you can get rather then holding out for what you want? Does anybody get it all?
We all have our own criterior for what we want and what will make us happy but are we being realistic? Im talking about people of my own age not you spring chickens here. Men and women of a certain age. Those of us who as we say in the vernacular have been round the block so to speak. Those of us who maybe have been married or who have high expectations of what we want. Are we asking for the unattainable? placing the bar too high? Is it a given that as you get older your choices become more limited so the need for compromise is greater?
I look at my situation. Im looking for someone quite special. Does he exist? Is he real? am I asking for too much? My last foray into love was a disaster. So im now asking myself all these questions. Are there any answers bloggers? Do you hold out for what you want accepting that you may never find that special person, or do you settle??
Ok . Its the start of a new year. A fresh start for us all particularly for some of us in matters of the heart.
I have a question today about the love aspect of relationships.
Is it better to love your partner a little less than they love you?
Do you think that it can work successfully?
I have a friend who for sure loves her man less than he loves her. He practically worships the ground she walks on. She on the other hand loves him, but not quite as much. When i noticed it and questioned her about it, she said she felt more secure this way. His unconditional love¿ ticked all her boxes. She gave him as much love as he needed and was apparently comfortable with, but not everything she had. It was her security blanket she said. If in the event it all went wrong she knew she would have enough of her heart left to carry on without being completely broken
Now before I ask the inevitable question I would ask that you all think really carefully and be totally honest about your reply, because i know for sure that the knee jerk answer is to say oh yes love in relationships has to be equal. Does it though.............
It works for them but honestly now do you think it would work for you? Indeed have you been or are you in this situation?
What is the difference between love and infatuation? I mean remember those feelings> You meet someone new and in the first flush of the romance theres the feeling of breathless anticipation, you cant wait to hear the voice, the next phone call, letter, e mail. You cant concentrate at work. Time passes slowly between each meet. When you do meet you cant get enough of each other, time now seems to speed up and a date of 3 or 4 hours seems to pass like 3 or 4 minutes. They dont call at the anticipated time and you fear the worst. Panicking in case there has been a multi vehicle pile up on the road¿and they are in the middle of it. Or, maybe a serious illness, a life or death situation..
¿You go over and over the date in your mind analysing everything said looking for subliminal messages there. Could I have done better? Been more witty? More sincere? Was it fun ? Was i serious enough , intelligent¿ , were they interested?
Theres a hollow in your stomach , a slightly nauseous feeling that wont go away. Funnily enough it gets worse when he or she arrives. A tremor of the hands a slighly sweathy palm. A dry mouth a fluffing of the lines a laugh which is either a little too shrill or a little too loud
Further down the road and the feelings are still the same. Is this an infatuation?? or is this love? If its infatuation when does that end and love begin. Are there signs for this? A blueprint a book which tells you when you get to this point, feel like this, its no longer an infatuation but real love. Or bloggers are they¿one and the same or at the very least intertwined?
Either way its wonderful when it happens isnt it? Do we think this feeling¿ is the reason so many cant be monogamous. Is this why some chase many to feel this perpetual excitement , permanent high. Do you think its addictive? this adrenaline rush we feel?
Well she sighs, Its that time of the year again when all things come to a close for good and for bad.
I dont know about you bloggers but its been a pretty tough year for me. Ive had more lows than highs, many tears, some smiles, and just a sprinkling of delight here and there.
Next year promises much for me. New friends a huge new challenge and an opportunity I never tought i would have had. So i look forward and not back.
My father allways used to say this. 'Look not to the past , look at today and where you want to be tomorrow and all will be well.
So, I want to share that with all of you . I know many friends here have had it tough. Even the blogs have been tough, but you know what we are all still here ready to live another day. So I say to you all Lets look forward to a bright new tomorrow. Everything your heart desires is out there. Lets reach for it shall we?? Lets put wings on our feet and go for it
A special Christmas wish is winging its way over from the UK to you all.
Its been a hell of a year on the blogs. Weve had it all on here this year, Love ,hate spite laughter caring, sadness You name it, but you know what? we are all still here..... well nearly.
I want to take this opportunity to wish each and every one of you a Happy Christmas and New year.
To my friends I want to say thankyou for allways being there. Its been a pretty tough year for me in more ways than one, and at times i have been quite overwhelmed by it all, so much so, that some have felt that i have not been as good a friend as i should have been. Others have let me run my race and have been there just to pick up the pieces. I send love tou each and every one ¿of you . Im sorry if i have disappointed others, and i hope to make it up to you in the New Year.
For those with whom ive had disagreements i wish you Merry Christmas also . Lifes too short for silly spats especially on here, so warm wishes to you all from me.
To the men, who are a fairly rare breed here. I thankyou for your input and balance . Most of you are such fun and lend a fair dose of fresh air on to the blogs, Some have been absent and we miss you but without you all this place would be not the same. Merry Christmas to you all
To all the new bloggers welcome! This community is diverse and can be a little scary for the newcomer. To those who are firmly still here, good to see you . and Seasons greetings
So, bloggers eat drink and be Merry. Treasure your friends, enjoy and love your families, bury the hatchets, remember those who are no longer with us ,and have a wonderful time whatever your plans are for the holidays. May all your dreams come true for the New Year
ok now we come to the tricky part, and that is MONEY.
Who has it and what are we going to do with it. Traditionally the man has the money and the woman doesnt right? Well what if its the other way round? What happens then. Do you agree to pool your resources or do you do what the Americans do and sign a pre nup.
Or do you on the other hand trust your partner. Even more complicated is if you divide the spoils before you are married and it all goes wrong. What then bloggers what then??
Well. Heres the thing. We are looking at on line relationships, long distance, so lets talk about Fidelity.
Online theres so much more easily available candy in the shop isnt there. I mean its not like you have to go to a bar or club or a singles venue to meet. Online its all there at the click of a mouse isnt it.
We are faced in online relationships at least in the beginning with limited time together so answer me this.
Is it right bloggers, that if you are in a committed relationship , well, as committed as it can be, that your mate actively corresponds with other women or men online? Is it right to have more than one ball in the air at any one time?
Is there an etiquette to these situations?
Is it acceptable for your mate not only to still correspond with other women but to also divulge details about your situation, lifestyle and personal life??
I dont think so bloggers I dont think so.
Should you immediately cease correspondance with other women,or men as the case may be, or at least advising them you have found real love or that you are to be married, or do you keep it a little secret and continue ?So continuing the virtual life you have created. Lets face it, it can be very exciting talking to many on here and flattering too.
Please ladies and gents i would welcome your input because obviously this goes both ways.
If the answer is NO absolutely not, what then do we think of people who do this?
Hello my bloggers. I have had an interesting time here recently and im going to write about it, but first I want to ask you some questions and i would be very interested to hear what you have to say.
Forgive me all those who have touched on similar subjects but by the time i get to writing my real story you will understand why I have done it this way round.
So tell me ......
Lets say you met and fell in love with Someone who lived in a different country. Its a fairly big deal isnt it? I mean its not only the distance to think of here, in fact when i think about it the distance is the least of your problems. Its the upheavel of an entire life, both personal and professional. So question one is this
Would you consider upping sticks as it were and moving to another country???
Theres the language problem, for sure we all speak English but when its not your mother tongue, a lot, and bloggers i mean a LOT gets lost in translation. A simple throwaway remark which would be said in an instant can be misconstrued to become a major incident taking ages to sort out and smooth over
Question number two is would you have the energy to constantly think about what you are saying in case it is misconstrued?? would you tire of the constant explaining and clarifying?
Then theres the time factor and logistics. All life changes and upheavels seem to have their own pace and timeframe. Do you plan and carefully analyse all aspects of the intended move making sure all bases are covered?? or do you just sell up and go for it... trusting to love...
You tell me.......
My dear bloggers; I write this from this most amazing place we call Marrakech. I came here for a weeks R and R and golf to get away from the stress and strain of life back in old Blighty;
I imagine you are all collectively yawning at this point, but i wanted to share a moment from my day with you.
Imagine the scene. It is late afternoon and the gold/orange glow of the sun is just tickling the tall minarets as it makes its way down to sleep . The air is warm and spicy a slight breeze is moving the palms near where we stand on the 14th tee. I stand ready to take my shot and i Look up. Before me in the distance stand the majestic Atlas Mountains , their tall caps covered in snow glowing crystal clear against a clear azure blue sky, my eyes move down taking in the shapes of the Moorish architecture down through the palms and across the green of the fairway to where I stand. In the distance I hear the call to prayer for the faithfull and for a moment, just one precious moment time stands still.
It is perfect and I realise how lucky I am to be here. It is a snapshot that will for ever remain in my minde eye.
Travel is such a gift , do any of you have one magical moment to share?
Im in a deeply reflective mood today.
I have been thinking about the phenomenon of the internet and of sites like these.However i do think this site is unique. Would I class this as a dating site? hmmm no not really.
Until I joined here I had no idea about this kind of thing and it has been more than a revelation to me.
I have met many , loved some, dismissed others, have been trashed in the most brutal and unpleasant way,have actively disliked those who trod on my toes and have been reduced to tears by stories of pain and suffering
All human life is here and if you care to look. I would like to quote some of the immortal lines in the film The War of the Worlds narrated by the inimitable Richard Burton
'across the millions of miles of space there are those who regarded this earth with envious eyes and studied us as a scientist studies bacteria as they swarm and multiply in a drop of water under a microscope '
And in a way bloggers it kind of applies to me here. I feel i have been that alien. That person who has lived all her life in a very cosseted world, secure in my own reality, comforted by all that was true in my own world, until I came on here, and what i have found has affected me in the most profound way. Its almost like a kind of fascination watching the human interaction dynamic working
I realise that I have found that there is a world a surreal world, way outside of my comfort zone.
All human life is here. Some good , some bad, and some ugly I have experienced it all.
Joy, laughter, sadness , pain,friendship, envy, love , hate,jealousy its all here and it seems not only is it here it has exclamation marks behind it.
I have wondered what makes our emotions and traits on here so much more exaggerated than in real life and this is what i think.
Maybe its exaggerated because we are protected by a kind of annonymity. We all have a username and with that we have created a kind of alter ego of our choosing which may or may not reflect who we really are, which at times can get out of control.I for one have played with a cougar personality which is not strictly the truth but it made for fun writing. Its easy to share whatever you have to say good or bad when you are not looking into anothers eyes. If we see no reaction then its easy to do what we want isnt it?
Do you not find that the written word is much more powerful than the spoken> Do you not think that the writings of Petrarch would have been so potent if he had just called his longtime love on the phone and said hey babe luv ya? Rather than writing of his unrequited love over the course of 20 years, in writing so powerful and poignant it held the reader spellbound.
The written word is potent indeed, and should be used with careful consideration at all times.
I feel we have yet to learn that on here. This internet experience and in particular blogging is not for the faint hearted for sure, and i have seen many fall by the wayside unable to cope.
Its been one hell of a ride, but its a short lived thrill and I wonder what we as individuals will take away with us from this most unusual of experience.
It would be interesting to see if any of you agree with me and share your thoughts.
Will this have been a positive or negative experience?
Ive been on a bit of a journey recently and i came apon this quotation which i felt was quite telling. I would be interested to know what you think and whether you see the irony in it.
'There is love of course,
Then theres life..... its enemy
Well bloggers i have a retail story to tell you today.
A nice young couple walked into my shop. Nicely spoken well dressed, looking for a little black dress. I showed them all I had and they made a selection of two or three to try on.
So I said to the young woman OK the changing rooms are right there go on in and try on. Oh no the young man said they are not for her theyre for me!!!!
We fell about laughing. and you know what he looked pretty good in it too !
Sorry Vick your dress has been sold !! dont worry Ill find you another lolol
Well its that time of the year again and its beginning to show. its entertaining time for me. I have to entertain my clients lunch and dinner and frankly friends.... and this is only between you and I. Im putting it on. Weight that is.
You know there was a time when i had hollow legs so to speak. I could eat and drink what i liked and i wouldnt put on an ounce. Now its a different story.
Please dont anyone say its an age thing please. I know it is and although ive allways liked to think im a bit of a Peter Pan my bod is telling me otherwise. It really sucks.
All my life up until last year ive been a size zero. Now sadly im a 2 creeping up to a four. Bugger. Its got to stop before i get any bigger.
So my question to you gang is this. Got any losing weight tips that still involve eating food and having a good time??
Lie if necessary LMAO