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total posts: 181
Blog title: smax117
Blog description:musings
My blog address: http://MillionaireMatch.com/blog/smax117
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Be My Valentine? (redux) 210 Views 02/14/15



Not the best but its for the season...   now if only I could fill in the "blank"

A small Valentine..


How should we love..  lets let the past decide..

maybe it will give us something true and tried


We could have jungle love, a couple with one name

and  swing thru the trees like Tarzan and Jane


Lets show our passion with words so poetic and dear

like Browning and Barrett.. our love we'd hold near


Or a young love so strong we'd to death gladly go

You'll be sweet Juliet.. and me..  romantic  Romeo


Or love like man did before he knew how to deceive.

I will play Adam..  and with this rib..  you are my Eve


Lets love so daring it brings Rome down to one knee

You are my lovely Cleo..  and I'm your Marc Anthony


I'll terrorize Europe all knowing my power as Napolean

and you my Fifty Shades of Grey lover Josephine.


Or a love sooo risqué that scandal sheets cover the table

You be Carole Lombard to my ear challenged Clark Gable


Lets tease, banter and then have love songs to share

I'll be nosy Sonny..  and you my sassy sexy Cher


There are other couples thru time that we all know

But we have to decide which way you and I will go


Lets love like no others..  pull on history this switch..

So Love's history will then speak of .. blank.. and Rich

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Ladies.. is he really too old for you? 411 Views 11/28/14

Its an old joke... I think Abbott and Costello..


a 60 year old man asks a woman of 45 if she would like to date..  she says she is too young for him..  he says "My Dear you will soon be too old for me"  She gets insulted and says a few things but he stays calm..  as all mature men do.. and says I can prove it.  She says "try!!"


When you were 10 I was 25..  you were 40% of my age, when you were 15 I was 30.. 50% of my age..  you are 45 and I am 60.. now you are 75% of my age..  at this rate soon you will be older than me!


c'mon..  smile!



I do write serious things also..  just search the blog for smax117 and see other musings!

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November.. fall and ending romance.. 172 Views 11/09/14

November first


dark clouds passing o’er the earth..
daylight turning to night.
streaks of gold over burnt brown hills..
its now past the twilight

birds hurry homeward to escape the cold..
their babes gone from their nests.
dull dry leaves skittle down empty roads..
night not bringing them rest.

too early for fire too late for the sun..
chills carried by nights cool dry air.
the mind molds into moody loneliness..
forgetting days without care.

A lone heart facing impending gloom
searching for serenity
a single spruce facing the long lonely night
fearful of eternity..

remembering days without these fears
a time from our not so distant past..
when we pledged to love til next we met
a love to last and last...

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Ghost Story #3 100 Views 10/30/14

Ghost story 3

My college friend..  the one I played football, basketball, softball with.. camped out on the Hudson River with.. went out with every night for 4 years.. died in a tragic car accident with a drunk driver in 1975.  I was a pall bearer and when no one else would I rode with him in his coffin to the cemetery in some small town in upstate NY where his mother was from.  I took that time in the hearse to say my goodbyes to a great friend. It was a very sad day for so many of us..

In 1982 I was driving my mother to a campaign event at Cobleskill College in upstate NY.  As we drove down this hill on a backroad towards the college.. I had a strange feeling come over me.. like a panic attack.. I told my mother I didn't think I could go to the meeting I was feeling so strange..  we got to the bottom of the hill to the main road and as we turned west toward the college it dissipated and I got thru the rally.  As we drove back on that main road towards the intersection with the backroad it all came back with a rush.  Mom said keep going on the main road and we'll stop at a drug store and get something for you.  A few hundred yards past the intersection I saw the gates of a large cemetery on the left.  The wrought iron entry arc was familiar and I said "This is where we buried Jeff!"   I turned around and we went in and I found his grave. Jeff had called me to visit him and I stayed there for awhile letting him know he would never be forgotten.  We left and I was fine.  I go back to that cemetery sometimes just to say "Hi"  


True story.. 

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Ghost Story #2 64 Views 10/29/14

Ghost Story 2

I was in Albany living in a second floor 3 bedroom apartment with the back bedroom right off the kitchen in 1973.  My girlfriend and I were sleeping like spoons when I woke up and looked over her back at my bedroom door.  There was a man dressed in Colonial clothes with his hand on my bedroom doorknob leaning into my bedroom peering around.  I didn't make a sound but just watched him look around my room from the doorway.  Behind him I could see my kitchen stove and fridge.  Within a few seconds it all faded and I was seeing the towels hung on the rack on the back of my bedroom door.  Without waking my girlfriend up I went back to sleep thinking I had imagined everything because of the light playing tricks with the towels.. and my knowing that the kitchen was behind them.

The next morning we went to IHop for pancakes and as we sat there I said.. "You know..  something strange happened last night" and before I could continue my girlfriend says "I saw something strange last night.. a man in colonial clothes looking into our room!"  Neither of us knew the other was awake.. and we both saw the same thing!


True story..

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Three nights.. three true ghost stories.. Story #1 64 Views 10/28/14

 True Halloween Ghost Stories..


In 1976/77 my then wife and I rented the back most apartment in a complex in Voorheesville NY. I immediately started to have a recurring night vision where I would awake with a man's eyes just inches from my face. It probably happened a dozen or so times over that year. It was always the same.. I would feel like I was being watched.. open my eyes and see these eyes and an outline of a man's face suspended over me. Every time I would swing wildly and yell as the eyes would slowly fade back into the ceiling. They were never threatening.. always sad.. I felt like he was trying to communicate.. but being startled I always reacted that same way first. I broke lamps and alarm clocks with my swings!


When we were leaving the apartment and moving into Albany I went out of the comple and across the road to the owner's home to get my deposit back. He answered the door with the phone at his ear and gave me the "1 minute" finger waggle. I saw a cemetery by the side of his driveway and went to look. It was from the 1700's but the stones were laid down like mosaic tile. He got off the phone and gave me my check and I commented on the cemetery saying that it was unusually laid out. He said that was because it was moved to that spot by him. I asked from where and he said from the back section of the apartment complex.. about where your building was. "Did you move the remains"? " There was nothing left but some wood shards and bones here and there so we left them"...


another true one tomorrow..

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Keeping your heart available 336 Views 08/19/14

This little comic is soooo telling..




Now for my lil poem...



Leave it at the door


Leave it at the door

Drop it on the floor

Don’t want to hear it any more

I know he was a bore

But don’t bring it here anymore


You see, I’m someone new

I didn’t do that to you

That’s something you must get thru

If we’re to start anew


But how can you restart

When you hide your heart

The reasons you two are apart

Keeps us from our start


Make the past the past

I want a relationship that lasts

But fighting thru your past issues

Isn’t what I want when I kiss you

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It's Spring again (redux) 102 Views 04/25/14


Sooo   spring is here (again)..  in the countryside where I live nature has a way of anouncing spring that is always unique and beautiful.  It would always be nice to go hand in hand and share it with someone..


take my hand


take my hand..  and walk with me.. 
see the distant hillside..
where apple tree blossoms
look like a sugar coating.
closer.. their scent is heaven sent..
and their bee swarmed branches
bzzz hums a beautiful tune.


the lilacs are full bloom..
scented like its date night.
the birds are busy busy busy
feeding the chirping young.
the tall lush grass.
now soft underfoot.. 
swollen with rain..

blue skies filled with
imagination teasing clouds..
faces.. animals..  things...
a wind that still cools you.. 
the heat of summer just being hinted at..
longest day still coming towards you.. 
when its light far into the night..


deer are hiding off the trail.. 
keeping to the woods.. 
not wanting to show themselves
in the bright daylight


we stop often..  to look..  and to dream.. 
just leaning into each other..
light kisses.. 
just to let each other know
that its always better
doing this together

once you take my hand..

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Ladies.. why date a country boy 223 Views 03/30/14

A friend who I dated from here sent this to me and I thought I'd share it.  While I only live on a farm but don't derive my livelyhood from it she thought it fit after a she had had a tractor ride, picked out plants for my garden and hiked around the property.


Unless you suffer from hay fever and hate the country, farmers make pretty great dates. Here are 15 reasons to date a farmer:



1. They aren’t afraid of putting down roots. In fact, your farmer is probably already based somewhere — with long-term plans to stay there.


2. Farmers are fit, toned and tanned. (The “tanned” part might only apply to their forearms. But those forearms are great.)


3. Many farmers subscribe to good ol’ fashioned family values — and will be proud to treat you with gentleness and respect.


4. There’s something sexy about working the land, cultivating plants and raising beef that nourish a nation. Your stomach will benefit.


5. It’s trendy to be eco-aware. Your farmer is as close to being “one with the land” as they come.


6. Free tractor rides.


7. Farmers are traditionally loyal and protective.


8. The rural lifestyle provides plenty of fresh air, vitamin D, and panoramic views with zero skyscrapers in sight.


9. You can visit your date at work — if you don’t mind getting manure on your shoes.


10. Farmers are essentially small business owners. They must have both brains and brawn to keep their farm running successfully.


11. Farmers are community players, often helping out neighboring farms when another farmer is struggling to get their crops in on time.


12. Most farmers want to keep the farm in the family. Thus, they want children.


13. Farmers work hard every single day of the year without complaint.


14. Farmers don’t live in condos.


15. Farmers are trustworthy. If a few dozen cattle can trust the farmer with their lives, surely your date can handle responsibility.

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Heaven on Earth 97 Views 01/25/14

Heaven on earth


Sometimes love isn’t strong enough for forever

Sometimes we don’t deserve forever love

Sometimes we just miss love forever

Sometimes forever love is just around the corner

Sometimes forever love is across the world

Sometimes forever love makes you better

Sometimes forever love makes you worse

Sometimes forever love makes you sane

Sometimes forever love makes you crazy

Sometimes we don’t recognize forever love

Sometimes forever love doesn’t recognize us


But if you ever are in a mutual forever love..

Then forever isn’t long enough for love

But it’s heaven on earth.

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Alone for the holidays (redux) 220 Views 12/25/13

Merry Christmas to all..  and I hope the one who will share next Christmas with me reads this..

Alone for Christmas

The tree is now standing.. the presents all wrapped

But the feeling isn’t Christmas..  my heart feels trapped

Its time for sharing presents, love and good cheer

But still its not Christmas, because you are not here

I have carols, stockings, and resolutions to renew

While the real Christmas feeling is waiting for you

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Baggage Redux 209 Views 11/02/13


Just a rambling from a man's point of view.  Too often I hear how because of the last relationship a woman is going to take it slow and really examine every man she meets because of how her last relationship(s) ended.  She says they were such a whirlwind of emotions and look how it ended.  Growing love under the microscope..  looking for any hint of what might be a problem insures one thing..   you find a problem.  Please don't start looking for a relationship until you're ready to be completely open to a new relationship..   and ready to fall head over heels.  Just one man's opinion..


Leave it at the door


Leave it at the door

Drop it on the floor

Don’t want to hear it any more

I know he was a bore

But don’t bring it here anymore


You see, I’m someone new

I didn’t do that to you

That’s something you must get thru

If we’re to start anew


But how can you restart

When you hide your heart

The reasons you two are apart

Keeps us from our start


Make the past the past

I want a relationship that lasts

But fighting thru your past issues

Isn’t what I want when I kiss you

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My friend here on MM on Chemo 153 Views 10/25/13

My friend just sent me a poem.  She is a member here. She has undergone 12 hours of surgery and is now going into chemo therapy..  Please say a prayer for her.

A Journey Of Fear

The human spirit is an amazing thing
From the depths of despair our heart sings
The dark doors part as we enter the ring
It's this time that we grow wings
In this place so cold and sterile
We realize the enormous peril
About to begin a desperate will to survive
All these machines will come to life
The radiation will emit a ray of light
This is the ray that begins the fight
You see this battle with Cancer happens on so many levels
You need to be ready to respond with an emotional shovel
Clear a path in your brain and your heart
See the path where you will start
Carry with you all the love of your family and friends
Realize the new beginnings and the ends
To be clear
There is much fear
Carry no shame on the wet tear
Be proud when you look in the mirror
Know that you have the strength to carry on
Recall in your head your favorite song
In your mind visit your favorite place
See the sun, on the beach give chase
Hear the waves as they mount the shores
Feel the radiation close the doors
As it shuts down the Cancer's cells
Even as the fears start to well
Know that it is through the struggles that we will  be reborn
That our spirit is built to take the storm
Each session in this ring will take a toll
Remember it cannot touch your soul
As the fight heats up day after day
You steps walking might start to sway
Yes radiation & Chemo take a heavy toll
To beat the cancer, this is their role
Hold on tight to a friend's hand to help you stand and move forward in this fight
Get mad, get angry, scream with all your might
This is my life that Cancer tried to end
As I dust off the radiation and chemo my life saving friends.


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more profile insanity humor 360 Views 10/24/13

Is there anyone on here that writes "I look much older than my photos" "I look worse in person" or "I look old for my age"? Everyone (prob including me) say we look younger than our pics, young for our age and better in person! Do we really need to say this in our profiles?  If the photos don't do us justice..  get photos that do.  We will be able to tell if you look young for your age. As for how we look in person.. it sounds like we are trying to get a little leverage to have someone meet us!

or the people who put an age on their profile that is 10 years younger than their real age and then in the profile say "I am actually 65 not 55 but I wanted to get a better search result".  Once someone reads that you are 10 years older do you think they say..  "hell.. why not contact them" or do they think..  starting out with deception isn't a good way to begin a relationship and/or I didn't want someone that old so why would I now contact them? 

Your thoughts are of course welcome!

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Profile consistancy 248 Views 10/01/13

Its funny.. so many profiles have these inconsistancies.  Please feel free to add any in the comments cause I know this isn't all of them!

They use the word smile/smiling in the profile somewhere.. name.. status.. message.. etc. Then their photos don't show the person smiling

or they don't have a photo and in physical appearance they say "you decide" How do I decide?

or they say "no games" then have these slanted/angled photos that don't actually show what they look like..  or the photo is so old it is a photo of a poloroid!  and it makes you think.. let the games begin! or they say they want to find someone that likes them for their inner beauty..want to meet a guy who appreciates them for their intelligence.. and all of their photos are of cleavage and bum(not that I am complaining about cleavage and bum photos) or they want intelectural conversation (mispelling purposeful) or you go thru all of the photos til you finally come to the one photo that is actually them today! or "I'm an open book"   "truly outgoing" but no photos.. 

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Shelly's fighting cancer 145 Views 09/15/13

A member here (Shelly) who is a friend of mine just found out her cancer has come back.  She wouldn't let me post her user name so people could send her their well wishes.. but she didn't say I couldn't post her real name here and you can wish her the best as comments here.  She goes in for 8 hours of surgery on Sept 26.  Its in her throat, base of her tongue and lymph nodes.  and I promised to come dance with her for Christmas..  I will tell her to come here and see your comments...



our first dance

she promised to beat it in a bare knuckles brawl

knock it down, beat it up, make it crawl

it took the inside path using the deepest body blows

she countered with the toughness that she always shows

it jabbed and worked inside, landing its punches

she jabbed and dodged and landed hers in bunches

in the end she won, it never even stood a chance

because she wanted and promised me

                                                         our  first dance

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Whats on your mind.. 125 Views 08/15/13

I was asked this by a member..


Whats on my mind..  unrest in Eygpt and the middle east.. world violence..  beauty of today's sunrise..  my children out in the world trying to succeed..  a Donna Summer's song I can't get out of my head .. my  business and my search for new opportunities.. many things.. including finding someone to lay in bed with and hold and speak about all of these things with...


Whats on your mind?

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Black or white.. it just aint right 174 Views 07/21/13
  Lets just say for example my son, who has long hair and when he comes home from boxing at the gym can look really scraggily, is walking thru the neighborhood near his apartment where druggies have been breaking into rich people's homes. A man who has a gun to make him feel brave follows him with his car and finally gets out of his car to follow my son on foot. My son turns and asks him what he is doing.. the man accuses my son of being a robber because he is skinny.. scraggily.. and dressed sloppy..face roughed up..  looks like a druggie.  My son, who doesn't use drugs, tells him to go screw himself.. they argue..  My son has boxing skills and knocks the idiot on his butt. The idiot pulls his gun and shoots my son. It ain't black or white.. it just ain't right.
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FireFlies.. 92 Views 06/22/13

Tonight was the first night the fire flies have been out... so a reprise of the first poem I ever put here..


midnight walk


walking by darkend meadow sky
glowing stars just grass high
the phosphorescent firefly
glowing glowing glowing


looking for their mates tonite
their beauty just for my delight
as i see their small loving light
showing showing showing


wishing i had such loving power
to call my love at this late hour
all my love on her i'll shower
knowing knowing knowing

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a woman's hair 229 Views 05/10/13

I know many women have wigs, weaves and extensions to increase the volume, length, or change the style of their hair.  Chris Rock narrates a documentary called "Hair" that speaks to the how, what and why of women's hair that is very educational.  You forget tho that men find your hair attractive in many ways.  Here is a little homage to natural hair.






i wish to run my fingers thru your hair…




to pull it back slightly as i bend your lips up to be kissed


to cup your head in my hand to hold a kiss


to have your hair fall over me when you bend down to kiss me


to brush it back from your face to find your lips..


to smell when i come up behind you while you work


to pull slightly as we make passionate love..


to stroke lightly when you need comfort


to have you pull it up so i may nibble on your neck..


to elegantly pile for those special occasions..


to shake and release to show me you are ready for us


to have me wash, rinse and dry it for you as a sign of my affection


to brush it lazily for you while we watch tv..


to see it all sexily messed when we wake in the morning




I wish to run my fingers thru your hair


                                                  showing my love for you..


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