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total posts: 190
Blog title: smax117
Blog description:musings
My blog address: http://MillionaireMatch.com/blog/smax117
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Whats on your mind.. 129 Views 08/15/13

I was asked this by a member..


Whats on my mind..  unrest in Eygpt and the middle east.. world violence..  beauty of today's sunrise..  my children out in the world trying to succeed..  a Donna Summer's song I can't get out of my head .. my  business and my search for new opportunities.. many things.. including finding someone to lay in bed with and hold and speak about all of these things with...


Whats on your mind?

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Black or white.. it just aint right 178 Views 07/21/13
  Lets just say for example my son, who has long hair and when he comes home from boxing at the gym can look really scraggily, is walking thru the neighborhood near his apartment where druggies have been breaking into rich people's homes. A man who has a gun to make him feel brave follows him with his car and finally gets out of his car to follow my son on foot. My son turns and asks him what he is doing.. the man accuses my son of being a robber because he is skinny.. scraggily.. and dressed sloppy..face roughed up..  looks like a druggie.  My son, who doesn't use drugs, tells him to go screw himself.. they argue..  My son has boxing skills and knocks the idiot on his butt. The idiot pulls his gun and shoots my son. It ain't black or white.. it just ain't right.
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FireFlies.. 97 Views 06/22/13

Tonight was the first night the fire flies have been out... so a reprise of the first poem I ever put here..


midnight walk


walking by darkend meadow sky
glowing stars just grass high
the phosphorescent firefly
glowing glowing glowing


looking for their mates tonite
their beauty just for my delight
as i see their small loving light
showing showing showing


wishing i had such loving power
to call my love at this late hour
all my love on her i'll shower
knowing knowing knowing

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a woman's hair 239 Views 05/10/13

I know many women have wigs, weaves and extensions to increase the volume, length, or change the style of their hair.  Chris Rock narrates a documentary called "Hair" that speaks to the how, what and why of women's hair that is very educational.  You forget tho that men find your hair attractive in many ways.  Here is a little homage to natural hair.






i wish to run my fingers thru your hair…




to pull it back slightly as i bend your lips up to be kissed


to cup your head in my hand to hold a kiss


to have your hair fall over me when you bend down to kiss me


to brush it back from your face to find your lips..


to smell when i come up behind you while you work


to pull slightly as we make passionate love..


to stroke lightly when you need comfort


to have you pull it up so i may nibble on your neck..


to elegantly pile for those special occasions..


to shake and release to show me you are ready for us


to have me wash, rinse and dry it for you as a sign of my affection


to brush it lazily for you while we watch tv..


to see it all sexily messed when we wake in the morning




I wish to run my fingers thru your hair


                                                  showing my love for you..


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never die 177 Views 04/09/13

If you have children they often worry and wonder about your death..  I told my children that I will never die as long as they have children and their children have children..   because somewhere in that long line they will see my eyes..  my smile..  hear my laugh..  see my walk..  so I will never die. 

My daughter Liz and I were together last week when the proof appeared. We had 60 family members together for Easter brunch.  My aunt pulled out a video she made from old film snippets she found in my grandmothers basement.  She took 2 months to paste the pieces together. She screened them for all of us to commemorate what would have been my grandfathers 100th birthday.  My nephew Zach was seated across from me as we watched "Poppa" on the screen from the 1950's and early 1960's.  From Poppa to my Mother to my brother Dan and now to my nephew Zach.. Zach looked like Poppa.  Mom and Dan don't resemble Poppa at all but somehow Poppa had appeared in Zach.  Life continues.

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Alone for Valentines Day 288 Views 02/14/12

Not the best but its for the season...   now if only I could fill in the "blank"

A small Valentine..


How should we love..  lets let the past decide..

maybe it will give us something true and tried


We could have jungle love, a couple with one name

and  swing thru the trees like Tarzan and Jane


Lets show our passion with words so poetic and dear

like Browning and Barrett.. our love we'd hold near


Or a young love so strong we'd to death gladly go

You¿ll be sweet Juliet.. and me..  romantic  Romeo


Or love like man did before he knew how to deceive.

I will play Adam..  and with this rib..  you are my Eve


Lets love so daring it brings Rome down to one knee

You are my lovely Cleo..  and I'm your Marc Anthony


Or a love sooo risqué that scandal sheets cover the table

You be Carole Lombard to my ear challenged Clark Gable


Lets tease, banter and then have love songs to share

I'll be nosy Sonny..  and you my sassy sexy Cher


There are other couples thru time that we all know

But we have to decide which way you and I will go


Lets love like no others..  pull on history this switch..

So Love's history will then speak of ¿blank¿ and Rich

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Meet The Scammers!!! 620 Views 01/16/12

We tend to let our guard down when we actually meet someone from this country who seems fairly normal...  DON"T!!!!  Two stories related to me from friends on here.  They were too embarrassed to post this themselves and they know people on here read what I write so they wanted me to get their stories out...

First story..  My friend met a woman in Boston who was visiting from Arizona.  This woman had a great profile..   real photos..  and was a certified MM millionaire!  He felt comfortable. (check your agreement for MM's disclaimer about the certification process).  She was wonderful.  He even brought her home to meet the parents.  Three days after she left he was going to take some money out of his account..  and found out she had his credit card/ ATM card and was going to town.  She also had his SS# and tried to open credit.  While he slept she went thru everything in his wallet and briefcase.  She also got into his email.  He went to the police..  the alias she used led them to the real person who had an arrest record for scams and other crimes as long as your arm..  with photos that matched! 

Second story..  They had been dating for 2 months.  He noticed she would be a little loopy on the phone but never thought much about it.  She came home with him after they had met many other times on the road.  After she left little things came to light.  A couple old bottles of pain killers left over from surgery were missing from the medicine cabinent..  cash kept in a dresser drawer was missing.. and a couple old pieces of jewelry.  The loopy phone conversations now came into focus.


Scammers come from this country also.  They work their scams slowly to get into your world.  It maybe for money or drugs or both.  MM can be scammed.  Their "verification" is cursory and easily tricked.  The one above who was a certified "millionaire" had used a man's credit card to pay for her membership..  only used a single name for her account..  and it didnt stop the site from certifying her forged IRS forms.  AWAYS BE CAREFUL.  EACH OF THESE MEN SAW LITTLE CLUES BUT DIDN'T THINK SCAMMERS WOULD ACTUALLY MEET YOU!  BOTH WOMEN WERE BEAUTIFUL AND GLIB.  PROS! 

Now there are many great people on this site..  and I know MMCounselor is working nonstop to try to catch these people and get them off the site.  MMcounselor actually suspended the first scammer's account as soon as my friend contacted her and fought with MM management here to keep her off until a police report was filed. Thats how bold they are..  even fighting suspension!  I just want to highlight the fact that scams are not just done thru emails..   that some have actually had the chance to MEET THE SCAMMERS.

I do have other writings on here about dating experiences, scammers, and poetry.  I invite you to read those other writings by entering smax117 into the blog search function.

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Alone for the Holidays 271 Views 12/23/11

The Holiday season is when all of us feel the emotions of not having that special someone.  Just a little Christmas poem for all of us looking for that special feeling.

Missing Christmas


The tree is now standing.. the presents all wrapped

But the feeling isn’t Christmas..  my heart feels trapped

Its time for sharing presents, love and good cheer

But still its not Christmas, because you are not here

I have carols, stockings, and resolutions to renew

While the real Christmas feeling is waiting for you

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Award winning screenplay 134 Views 12/11/11

MM friends and any new friends...  My son recently won the grand prize in an international screenplay writers competiton (over 6000 entries) for his first screenplay.  It came in the top 10 in another one just a month before (over 7000 entries).  The lead character is a Nietzsche quoting biker gang leader (perfect for Mickey Rourke).  He is moving from Boston to LA in January to follow his dream.  If anyone has any connections...   please let me know.

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A woman asked me why would she love me over another man...   here's my reply..  I'm not a millionaire and my response shows this..


you’ll love me


if you want a man who grows roses for you and brings them into you

you'll love me

if you want an evening sunset walk along a ridge to watch the sky change colors

you'll love me

if you want to take wine and a sleeping bag on the back lawn to find shooting stars

you'll love me

if you love snuggling and watching a log being devoured by the loving licks of flames..

you'll love me

if you think kissing is a lost art..  where lips must tell a story every time they meet.. 

 you'll love me

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Ladies.. Complete Me?.. Make Me Happy? 213 Views 10/18/11

I have read these sayings on many of your profiles.  I must say..  no man can complete you and no man can make you happy.  If you are not happy with yourself no man can change that.  What a relationship needs are two people sharing their happiness with who they are and making that grow into a deeper contentment with other parts of your lives.  I went thru a relationship trying to make someone happy.  It didn’t work.  Every time I accomplished the latest thing that would make her happy, another problem arose to keep her from being happy.  It all stemmed from her not being happy with herself and not being able to accept what others did for her because she felt unworthy.  You need to step back and find out what is the source of your unhappiness because frankly at some point you maybe alone for the rest of your life and it would be terrible if you went thru life unhappy.


As for “complete me”..   You need to be a complete person when you come into the relationship.  Then the two of you may grow what’s between the two of you..   complete that relationship (although I believe that our relationships are ever evolving).  I would prefer you speak to “creating our world of two”.  The place where you have taken your completed self and started building the intimacy of a relationship.. and as I stated above, you maybe alone along time not to feel "completed".


Relationships are people who are happy with themselves..   know their faults..   and find someone who sees all of you and wants to be with you anyway to build something lasting.. let me repost a poem that I think adds a little to this.


. True love’s eyes


I saw myself thru your eyes today

And saw how much you loved me


I saw that you knew all of my faults

And still thought the world of me

I saw that you knew where my wounds were

And that you would never touch them

I saw that you knew what I feared most

And knew you would always protect me

I saw that you knew what I wanted most

And you were always going to help me


I saw that you saw that I loved you back

Even more since I saw

                          how much you loved me

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Ladies...   No millionaire traveling overseas will ever need money from you!!  This morning I just heard from my fourth female friend on here who sent money to a "millionaire" who was caught in a bind overseas..  He had worked her for 2 months..  she thought he was on his way to see her..  he even sent her an "itinerary" (it didn't even have the right date on it)   but he was caught short because of identity theft and had to get back here to the US get everything straightened out.  All he needed was $3000 for tickets.  She told him she didnt have this money on hand and he suggested she sell her car because he would buy her a new car when he got here.  She sold the car and sent the money... and never heard from him again.   She walks to work now.

Thay have said everything from being caught in hotels..  to having a shipment of gems that they need to pay a border tax on..  to Mom is dying and all my money is tied up in escrow..   They all have left MM within days of meeting you because they want to focus only on you (they were kicked off or jumped off before they were found out by MM and put on the scam list).   at the end of the day..


No millionaire needs your money!!  They have millionaire friends!  They have banks that work closely with them.  NEVER SEND MONEY!!!!!

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Does anyone date on here? YES!!! adventures in dating 246 Views 09/17/11

smax.   you need to date women closer to you..   you need to get out and date some of these women you have been chatting with..  after a long summer of work I decided to test the waters... here are some of my experiences (none of these were sexual encounters..   all were very respectful and above board first dates that Mom could be told about)

sooo lets see   in the past 4 weeks    4 dates    the one that got engaged a day after we met...   the one who has a 12 year old daughter who texted her mom thru the whole date and doesnt want her to have a second date because she doesnt want a man in her mother's life...   the one who thinks she could fall for me but is moving to florida and doesnt know why she accepted a date from me but really wanted to meet and now she doesnt want to meet again because she will get emotionally involved but she cant have a long distance relationship because they suck...   and the one who is a very sweet person that looks like an average woman in her photos but who is soo tiny and couldnt sit still for one second thru the whole date to the point it was making me nervous and I realized how she stayed so small...

sooo   I survived..   I was able to drive to meet all of them...   each one of them said over and over again how i was much more handsome in person...  and that we had a great date...

the one that got engaged said she was holding off getting engaged until we met..   then realized it was going to take too long for us to build a relationship...  so she accepted the other guys outstanding offer..  I am still trying to get a second date from the one with the daughter but its been 2 weeks and she still hasnt been able to get away to have a date even tho we chat or we talk every day.. the one moving to florida is making arrangements and we chat often..  and the one that is soo sweet will stay a friend also..


Now I am not perfect   I have many faults.. which my ex and my siblings will gladly point out to you.. I have my issues and the women I met would tell you the other side of this and I would accept what they say..  I'm just saying..   it ain't easy...   but   you do need to date to find out about that other person..  get out from behind the screen and date   I did meet 4 great people and enjoyed their company.

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Ladies.. Barbie/Ken Romeo/Juliet Really? 211 Views 09/11/11

I saw another profile today where a woman is looking for her Romeo..   and then there were 3 Barbies who I suppose are looking for their Ken..   Well..  historically speaking Romeo was a pasty white, pimple faced, bad teeth, worse breath and terrible BO, suicidal, British teenager.  He also was probably quite short.  Juliet was actually probably too old because most were married off to older rich men by the time they were 15 and if you really want to know in Shakespeare's play Juliet was played by a young boy.

As for Barbie..  She is not anatomically correct.. and Ken is only good for going shopping with because he isnt endowed with anythng but his smile.  Thats why there is no "Mommy Barbie" or baby Barbken. I won't even go into how if you blow Barbie up to the actual size of a 5' 5" woman she would have to carry her FFF's around in a wheel barrow or would have a broken back because she would have a 15 inch waist.


Lets just look for real people..   and say we are real people...   and keep the dolls and the Bard out of our descriptions and relationship wishes!


(tongue in cheek)

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Playing beat the clock.. for love 152 Views 08/18/11


many of us here want that last great love..  the one to last ..  but there are pressures associated with that.   Being overly cautious while wanting to fall head over heels.. and knowing we do not want to make a mistake because we never want to go thru this again..  all the time..   the clock tics...


Tic tic tic

Older but wiser

Tic tic tic

But still alone

Tic tic tic

Wanting that relationship

Tic tic tic

To last forever

Tic tic tic

Never to separate

Tic tic tic

Truly til death do us part

Tic tic tic

Hurry up and find

Tic tic tic

But take our time

Tic tic tic

Tired of the lonliness

Tic tic tic

Afraid of a mistake

Tic tic tic

Patience is a virtue

Tic tic tic

But time waits for no man

Tic tic tic

Torn in two directions

Tic tic tic

To find true love

Tic tic tic

Without a mistake

Tic tic tic

And always in our mind is the



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Afraid to be hurt (again) ? 261 Views 07/31/11

So many chat here and tell me..  "I have been hurt before"   "I don't want to be hurt again".   The heart is made to be hurt..  because it is a muscle.. it heals.  You miss so much not being open to hurt.. because you cant be afraid to get hurt and fall in love at the same time.  You just might miss the best person for you as you try to decide if you can come out of your cocoon and be in a relationship.   Its like you just bob along the surface of your feelings...


down.. down.. lower and lower
into the depths of depression
of anquish..  of pain..
pushing myself to the limit
i realize my limit is even deeper

reveling in the self pity,
the remorse..  I test the
sanctity of my mind..  my soul..
my feelings..  my inner courage.

i reach a self imposed bottom
where i hesitate..  
drinking in the last tears

then i push upward..
like a struggling diver
returning through the depths
he so willingly passed thru

the pressure disapates
the light is less diffused.
breaking thru the surface
i devour the sweet air..
joy expands my lungs
heart fills with hope renewed

my hands reach skyward..
i pass through the surface.
flying free and high
into the rareified air of happiness..

to see how high i may fly..  
the envelope pushed

I have never reached my true depth..
nor found true happiness..
always capable of more..
but most...
    most       bob   long      sur
but      just      a      the      face..

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women.. leave your past to start anew 301 Views 07/03/11

Just a rambling from a man's point of view.  Too often I hear how because of the last relationship a woman is going to take it slow and really exam every man she meets because of how her last relationship(s) were such a whirlwind and look how it ended.  Growing love under the microscope..  looking for any hint of what might be a problem insures one thing..   you find a problem.  Please don't start looking for a relationship until you're ready to be completely open to a new relationship..   and ready to fall head over heels.  Just one man's opinion..

Leave it at the door


Leave it at the door

Drop it on the floor

Don’t want to hear it any more

I know he was a bore

But don’t bring it here anymore


You see, I’m someone new

I didn’t do that to you

That’s something you must get thru

If we’re to start anew


But how can you restart

When you hide your heart

The reasons you two are apart

Keeps us from our start


Make the past the past

I want a relationship that lasts

But fighting thru your past issues

Isn’t what I want when I kiss you

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everyone says they like to kiss.. but do they? 201 Views 05/22/11

I always say I love to kiss.. but what does that mean?   too many think kissing is throwing your mouth open..   its so many things that we forget that every kiss has a meaning.  Kisses can say "Hi friend" to deep sexual passion.  We give them to our kids and some even give them to their dog!  We can say "I'm thinking of you" with a kiss and in the "Godfather' (all men quote the Godfather) you can kiss the man you're going to kill!

The kiss i am writing about today is that first kiss of built passion...  the one we all want as "our first kiss"


when we start to share our first kiss

i will lightly run my lips across yours..

sooo..  lightly

feeling how electric it is..

then run my lips over your cheeks..

your closed eyes..

never stopping..

til i have your face alive from the feel of my lips


then..  i will lightly nibble your lips..

one..  then the other..

each for their full length.. 

feeling the softness of yours.. 

the first tastes of you

then the same light nibbles to your





keeping my body away from yours.. 

only my lips touching you

all of our pent up desires to be expressed

thru these lips..


after what feels an eternity.. 

i will come back to your lips.. 

and start again.. 

now with kisses..

light   slight..  some quick..  some linger..

each saying something of the desires..

that are now rising so fervently..


you try to make the kisses longer deeper..

but this is my game.. 

and we need to build this to another level..


i suckle first one lip..  then the other.. 

every part of your lips being touched and tasted.. 

pulled lightly into my mouth..

i do the same with the rest of your face.. 

your neck..

still not touching you with my body..


finally you can no longer hold your passion.. 

you must have my lips pressed to yours..

you pull my head to yours..  and we share


our first kiss....

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Sweet men finish last 452 Views 04/08/11

Sooo   back to the blogs..  I have found that being called a "sweet man" is the kiss of death.  It has happened all too often here.  Now let me say up front..  I know.  Some how I am like the moth to the flame.. because I keep finding these realtionships.  So disclaimer filed and on with the story.  If a woman says youre sweet.. run.  Its code for "I have always been involved with jerks throughout my life.  I know I should fall for someone like you.  But I can't help myself.  I only fall for guys who are jerks to me..  ignore me..   belittle me..   "  Everyone of them has told me the sad story of how mean her 3 ex's were.  How they didnt treat her right.  They all say "I should fall for a man like you".     They ask for time to get to know me.. or say maybe we should take it slow...   but when the "bad boy" shows up she jumps right in without her water wings on.  And here I am writing this while they're with another jerk.They even come back a few months even a year later and ask if we could start again..   that the guy they hooked up with instead of me was another jerk who broke their heart or wasnt what they really wanted.  At least I am smart enough to then say "Good luck" and not follow that flame again.

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Remember the summer 106 Views 09/22/10

On the first day of fall....   lets remember a summer storm



summer storm

heat rising from black hot blacktop..
shimmering waves visible to the eye.
air thick with moisture..
difficult to breath..
oppressively obsessively depressively..
weighs on all creatures chests.

white towering billowing clouds
roil in from the west..
their dark underbellies
casting shadows as they cross the horizon..
clouds with altitude and attitude..

fresh cool winds blow frantically ahead..
carrying the scent of water.
playing with the earth..
trees waving, grass swaying,
dust and dead leaves dancing skyward

swallows who have foretold this storm
have swept low feeding for hours
waiting for the rain
now rush nestward to comfort their young

drum roll thunder following distant flashes
anounce to all that the storm is close..
counting the seconds..
1 one thousand 2 one thousand..
between flashes and sound..
to judge the distance

from the hill i rush to find shelter..
an old barn without a door..
wood worn from seasons long..
no one caring for it any more.
waiting for one more winter snow storm
to bring it to earth.

across the valley the conquering
sheet of rain can be seen..
thick grey drops obscuring the hills..
hills I was contemplating just a few minutes ago. 
rain marching over everything in its path.

a few large drops are now pounding..
bang bang bang..
as each of them hit the tin.. 
just a few scouts trying to find a weakness..

first drops hit the ground by the barn..
each causing a small dust cloud
with each heavy hit on the dry bare earth

wind has leaves on the trees turned over
and their coloring is a scared pale green
from their exposed undersides

now more drops hit the roof..
the full division has arrived
so many that it is deafening..
like being inside a drum.
the wind now whips rain mist particles
thru the open door..
the wetness welcomed by my hot skin

lightning is flashing every where
over there.  there..  here.. 
too intiquing to make me afraid and hide..

the thunder is now a marching drum band
with bass drums and snares competing for
my attention..  music for the attack
rumbling deep..  now ratatat
now rumbling so it shakes the barn
and echos in my chest

cool cool cool now replacing the heat..
the barn is now sooo eerily cool..

small riverlets gather where the roof guided rain
come together and puddles start to arise.
each drop that hits the puddle
makes a bubble.. 
and i watch with fascination.
how long can a bubble last 
before another drop bursts it..
hoping one bubble will survive.
an omen?

the sound on the roof lessens..
the roar of the thunder muffles.
and the stikes of lightning move east.

small branches are wind casualties
scatterd across the yard..
grass that was soo happily waving..
now is bent, lying close to the earth.
dust and leaves now mud

somewhere..  over there..
someone else is now hiding from this fury..

the chattering swallows come out
each telling the other about how great a storm this was..
as they shoot skyward to dance high overhead.

and i step out into the puddles..
to make a few bubbles of my own..

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