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total posts: 181
Blog title: smax117
Blog description:musings
My blog address: http://MillionaireMatch.com/blog/smax117
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never die 174 Views 04/09/13

If you have children they often worry and wonder about your death..  I told my children that I will never die as long as they have children and their children have children..   because somewhere in that long line they will see my eyes..  my smile..  hear my laugh..  see my walk..  so I will never die. 

My daughter Liz and I were together last week when the proof appeared. We had 60 family members together for Easter brunch.  My aunt pulled out a video she made from old film snippets she found in my grandmothers basement.  She took 2 months to paste the pieces together. She screened them for all of us to commemorate what would have been my grandfathers 100th birthday.  My nephew Zach was seated across from me as we watched "Poppa" on the screen from the 1950's and early 1960's.  From Poppa to my Mother to my brother Dan and now to my nephew Zach.. Zach looked like Poppa.  Mom and Dan don't resemble Poppa at all but somehow Poppa had appeared in Zach.  Life continues.

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Alone for Valentines Day 285 Views 02/14/12

Not the best but its for the season...   now if only I could fill in the "blank"

A small Valentine..


How should we love..  lets let the past decide..

maybe it will give us something true and tried


We could have jungle love, a couple with one name

and  swing thru the trees like Tarzan and Jane


Lets show our passion with words so poetic and dear

like Browning and Barrett.. our love we'd hold near


Or a young love so strong we'd to death gladly go

You¿ll be sweet Juliet.. and me..  romantic  Romeo


Or love like man did before he knew how to deceive.

I will play Adam..  and with this rib..  you are my Eve


Lets love so daring it brings Rome down to one knee

You are my lovely Cleo..  and I'm your Marc Anthony


Or a love sooo risqué that scandal sheets cover the table

You be Carole Lombard to my ear challenged Clark Gable


Lets tease, banter and then have love songs to share

I'll be nosy Sonny..  and you my sassy sexy Cher


There are other couples thru time that we all know

But we have to decide which way you and I will go


Lets love like no others..  pull on history this switch..

So Love's history will then speak of ¿blank¿ and Rich

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Meet The Scammers!!! 608 Views 01/16/12

We tend to let our guard down when we actually meet someone from this country who seems fairly normal...  DON"T!!!!  Two stories related to me from friends on here.  They were too embarrassed to post this themselves and they know people on here read what I write so they wanted me to get their stories out...

First story..  My friend met a woman in Boston who was visiting from Arizona.  This woman had a great profile..   real photos..  and was a certified MM millionaire!  He felt comfortable. (check your agreement for MM's disclaimer about the certification process).  She was wonderful.  He even brought her home to meet the parents.  Three days after she left he was going to take some money out of his account..  and found out she had his credit card/ ATM card and was going to town.  She also had his SS# and tried to open credit.  While he slept she went thru everything in his wallet and briefcase.  She also got into his email.  He went to the police..  the alias she used led them to the real person who had an arrest record for scams and other crimes as long as your arm..  with photos that matched! 

Second story..  They had been dating for 2 months.  He noticed she would be a little loopy on the phone but never thought much about it.  She came home with him after they had met many other times on the road.  After she left little things came to light.  A couple old bottles of pain killers left over from surgery were missing from the medicine cabinent..  cash kept in a dresser drawer was missing.. and a couple old pieces of jewelry.  The loopy phone conversations now came into focus.


Scammers come from this country also.  They work their scams slowly to get into your world.  It maybe for money or drugs or both.  MM can be scammed.  Their "verification" is cursory and easily tricked.  The one above who was a certified "millionaire" had used a man's credit card to pay for her membership..  only used a single name for her account..  and it didnt stop the site from certifying her forged IRS forms.  AWAYS BE CAREFUL.  EACH OF THESE MEN SAW LITTLE CLUES BUT DIDN'T THINK SCAMMERS WOULD ACTUALLY MEET YOU!  BOTH WOMEN WERE BEAUTIFUL AND GLIB.  PROS! 

Now there are many great people on this site..  and I know MMCounselor is working nonstop to try to catch these people and get them off the site.  MMcounselor actually suspended the first scammer's account as soon as my friend contacted her and fought with MM management here to keep her off until a police report was filed. Thats how bold they are..  even fighting suspension!  I just want to highlight the fact that scams are not just done thru emails..   that some have actually had the chance to MEET THE SCAMMERS.

I do have other writings on here about dating experiences, scammers, and poetry.  I invite you to read those other writings by entering smax117 into the blog search function.

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Alone for the Holidays 269 Views 12/23/11

The Holiday season is when all of us feel the emotions of not having that special someone.  Just a little Christmas poem for all of us looking for that special feeling.

Missing Christmas


The tree is now standing.. the presents all wrapped

But the feeling isn’t Christmas..  my heart feels trapped

Its time for sharing presents, love and good cheer

But still its not Christmas, because you are not here

I have carols, stockings, and resolutions to renew

While the real Christmas feeling is waiting for you

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Award winning screenplay 132 Views 12/11/11

MM friends and any new friends...  My son recently won the grand prize in an international screenplay writers competiton (over 6000 entries) for his first screenplay.  It came in the top 10 in another one just a month before (over 7000 entries).  The lead character is a Nietzsche quoting biker gang leader (perfect for Mickey Rourke).  He is moving from Boston to LA in January to follow his dream.  If anyone has any connections...   please let me know.

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A woman asked me why would she love me over another man...   here's my reply..  I'm not a millionaire and my response shows this..


you’ll love me


if you want a man who grows roses for you and brings them into you

you'll love me

if you want an evening sunset walk along a ridge to watch the sky change colors

you'll love me

if you want to take wine and a sleeping bag on the back lawn to find shooting stars

you'll love me

if you love snuggling and watching a log being devoured by the loving licks of flames..

you'll love me

if you think kissing is a lost art..  where lips must tell a story every time they meet.. 

 you'll love me

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Ladies.. Complete Me?.. Make Me Happy? 208 Views 10/18/11

I have read these sayings on many of your profiles.  I must say..  no man can complete you and no man can make you happy.  If you are not happy with yourself no man can change that.  What a relationship needs are two people sharing their happiness with who they are and making that grow into a deeper contentment with other parts of your lives.  I went thru a relationship trying to make someone happy.  It didn’t work.  Every time I accomplished the latest thing that would make her happy, another problem arose to keep her from being happy.  It all stemmed from her not being happy with herself and not being able to accept what others did for her because she felt unworthy.  You need to step back and find out what is the source of your unhappiness because frankly at some point you maybe alone for the rest of your life and it would be terrible if you went thru life unhappy.


As for “complete me”..   You need to be a complete person when you come into the relationship.  Then the two of you may grow what’s between the two of you..   complete that relationship (although I believe that our relationships are ever evolving).  I would prefer you speak to “creating our world of two”.  The place where you have taken your completed self and started building the intimacy of a relationship.. and as I stated above, you maybe alone along time not to feel "completed".


Relationships are people who are happy with themselves..   know their faults..   and find someone who sees all of you and wants to be with you anyway to build something lasting.. let me repost a poem that I think adds a little to this.


. True love’s eyes


I saw myself thru your eyes today

And saw how much you loved me


I saw that you knew all of my faults

And still thought the world of me

I saw that you knew where my wounds were

And that you would never touch them

I saw that you knew what I feared most

And knew you would always protect me

I saw that you knew what I wanted most

And you were always going to help me


I saw that you saw that I loved you back

Even more since I saw

                          how much you loved me

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Ladies...   No millionaire traveling overseas will ever need money from you!!  This morning I just heard from my fourth female friend on here who sent money to a "millionaire" who was caught in a bind overseas..  He had worked her for 2 months..  she thought he was on his way to see her..  he even sent her an "itinerary" (it didn't even have the right date on it)   but he was caught short because of identity theft and had to get back here to the US get everything straightened out.  All he needed was $3000 for tickets.  She told him she didnt have this money on hand and he suggested she sell her car because he would buy her a new car when he got here.  She sold the car and sent the money... and never heard from him again.   She walks to work now.

Thay have said everything from being caught in hotels..  to having a shipment of gems that they need to pay a border tax on..  to Mom is dying and all my money is tied up in escrow..   They all have left MM within days of meeting you because they want to focus only on you (they were kicked off or jumped off before they were found out by MM and put on the scam list).   at the end of the day..


No millionaire needs your money!!  They have millionaire friends!  They have banks that work closely with them.  NEVER SEND MONEY!!!!!

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Does anyone date on here? YES!!! adventures in dating 241 Views 09/17/11

smax.   you need to date women closer to you..   you need to get out and date some of these women you have been chatting with..  after a long summer of work I decided to test the waters... here are some of my experiences (none of these were sexual encounters..   all were very respectful and above board first dates that Mom could be told about)

sooo lets see   in the past 4 weeks    4 dates    the one that got engaged a day after we met...   the one who has a 12 year old daughter who texted her mom thru the whole date and doesnt want her to have a second date because she doesnt want a man in her mother's life...   the one who thinks she could fall for me but is moving to florida and doesnt know why she accepted a date from me but really wanted to meet and now she doesnt want to meet again because she will get emotionally involved but she cant have a long distance relationship because they suck...   and the one who is a very sweet person that looks like an average woman in her photos but who is soo tiny and couldnt sit still for one second thru the whole date to the point it was making me nervous and I realized how she stayed so small...

sooo   I survived..   I was able to drive to meet all of them...   each one of them said over and over again how i was much more handsome in person...  and that we had a great date...

the one that got engaged said she was holding off getting engaged until we met..   then realized it was going to take too long for us to build a relationship...  so she accepted the other guys outstanding offer..  I am still trying to get a second date from the one with the daughter but its been 2 weeks and she still hasnt been able to get away to have a date even tho we chat or we talk every day.. the one moving to florida is making arrangements and we chat often..  and the one that is soo sweet will stay a friend also..


Now I am not perfect   I have many faults.. which my ex and my siblings will gladly point out to you.. I have my issues and the women I met would tell you the other side of this and I would accept what they say..  I'm just saying..   it ain't easy...   but   you do need to date to find out about that other person..  get out from behind the screen and date   I did meet 4 great people and enjoyed their company.

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Ladies.. Barbie/Ken Romeo/Juliet Really? 209 Views 09/11/11

I saw another profile today where a woman is looking for her Romeo..   and then there were 3 Barbies who I suppose are looking for their Ken..   Well..  historically speaking Romeo was a pasty white, pimple faced, bad teeth, worse breath and terrible BO, suicidal, British teenager.  He also was probably quite short.  Juliet was actually probably too old because most were married off to older rich men by the time they were 15 and if you really want to know in Shakespeare's play Juliet was played by a young boy.

As for Barbie..  She is not anatomically correct.. and Ken is only good for going shopping with because he isnt endowed with anythng but his smile.  Thats why there is no "Mommy Barbie" or baby Barbken. I won't even go into how if you blow Barbie up to the actual size of a 5' 5" woman she would have to carry her FFF's around in a wheel barrow or would have a broken back because she would have a 15 inch waist.


Lets just look for real people..   and say we are real people...   and keep the dolls and the Bard out of our descriptions and relationship wishes!


(tongue in cheek)

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Playing beat the clock.. for love 150 Views 08/18/11


many of us here want that last great love..  the one to last ..  but there are pressures associated with that.   Being overly cautious while wanting to fall head over heels.. and knowing we do not want to make a mistake because we never want to go thru this again..  all the time..   the clock tics...


Tic tic tic

Older but wiser

Tic tic tic

But still alone

Tic tic tic

Wanting that relationship

Tic tic tic

To last forever

Tic tic tic

Never to separate

Tic tic tic

Truly til death do us part

Tic tic tic

Hurry up and find

Tic tic tic

But take our time

Tic tic tic

Tired of the lonliness

Tic tic tic

Afraid of a mistake

Tic tic tic

Patience is a virtue

Tic tic tic

But time waits for no man

Tic tic tic

Torn in two directions

Tic tic tic

To find true love

Tic tic tic

Without a mistake

Tic tic tic

And always in our mind is the



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Afraid to be hurt (again) ? 258 Views 07/31/11

So many chat here and tell me..  "I have been hurt before"   "I don't want to be hurt again".   The heart is made to be hurt..  because it is a muscle.. it heals.  You miss so much not being open to hurt.. because you cant be afraid to get hurt and fall in love at the same time.  You just might miss the best person for you as you try to decide if you can come out of your cocoon and be in a relationship.   Its like you just bob along the surface of your feelings...


down.. down.. lower and lower
into the depths of depression
of anquish..  of pain..
pushing myself to the limit
i realize my limit is even deeper

reveling in the self pity,
the remorse..  I test the
sanctity of my mind..  my soul..
my feelings..  my inner courage.

i reach a self imposed bottom
where i hesitate..  
drinking in the last tears

then i push upward..
like a struggling diver
returning through the depths
he so willingly passed thru

the pressure disapates
the light is less diffused.
breaking thru the surface
i devour the sweet air..
joy expands my lungs
heart fills with hope renewed

my hands reach skyward..
i pass through the surface.
flying free and high
into the rareified air of happiness..

to see how high i may fly..  
the envelope pushed

I have never reached my true depth..
nor found true happiness..
always capable of more..
but most...
    most       bob   long      sur
but      just      a      the      face..

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women.. leave your past to start anew 298 Views 07/03/11

Just a rambling from a man's point of view.  Too often I hear how because of the last relationship a woman is going to take it slow and really exam every man she meets because of how her last relationship(s) were such a whirlwind and look how it ended.  Growing love under the microscope..  looking for any hint of what might be a problem insures one thing..   you find a problem.  Please don't start looking for a relationship until you're ready to be completely open to a new relationship..   and ready to fall head over heels.  Just one man's opinion..

Leave it at the door


Leave it at the door

Drop it on the floor

Don’t want to hear it any more

I know he was a bore

But don’t bring it here anymore


You see, I’m someone new

I didn’t do that to you

That’s something you must get thru

If we’re to start anew


But how can you restart

When you hide your heart

The reasons you two are apart

Keeps us from our start


Make the past the past

I want a relationship that lasts

But fighting thru your past issues

Isn’t what I want when I kiss you

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everyone says they like to kiss.. but do they? 186 Views 05/22/11

I always say I love to kiss.. but what does that mean?   too many think kissing is throwing your mouth open..   its so many things that we forget that every kiss has a meaning.  Kisses can say "Hi friend" to deep sexual passion.  We give them to our kids and some even give them to their dog!  We can say "I'm thinking of you" with a kiss and in the "Godfather' (all men quote the Godfather) you can kiss the man you're going to kill!

The kiss i am writing about today is that first kiss of built passion...  the one we all want as "our first kiss"


when we start to share our first kiss

i will lightly run my lips across yours..

sooo..  lightly

feeling how electric it is..

then run my lips over your cheeks..

your closed eyes..

never stopping..

til i have your face alive from the feel of my lips


then..  i will lightly nibble your lips..

one..  then the other..

each for their full length.. 

feeling the softness of yours.. 

the first tastes of you

then the same light nibbles to your





keeping my body away from yours.. 

only my lips touching you

all of our pent up desires to be expressed

thru these lips..


after what feels an eternity.. 

i will come back to your lips.. 

and start again.. 

now with kisses..

light   slight..  some quick..  some linger..

each saying something of the desires..

that are now rising so fervently..


you try to make the kisses longer deeper..

but this is my game.. 

and we need to build this to another level..


i suckle first one lip..  then the other.. 

every part of your lips being touched and tasted.. 

pulled lightly into my mouth..

i do the same with the rest of your face.. 

your neck..

still not touching you with my body..


finally you can no longer hold your passion.. 

you must have my lips pressed to yours..

you pull my head to yours..  and we share


our first kiss....

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Sweet men finish last 433 Views 04/08/11

Sooo   back to the blogs..  I have found that being called a "sweet man" is the kiss of death.  It has happened all too often here.  Now let me say up front..  I know.  Some how I am like the moth to the flame.. because I keep finding these realtionships.  So disclaimer filed and on with the story.  If a woman says youre sweet.. run.  Its code for "I have always been involved with jerks throughout my life.  I know I should fall for someone like you.  But I can't help myself.  I only fall for guys who are jerks to me..  ignore me..   belittle me..   "  Everyone of them has told me the sad story of how mean her 3 ex's were.  How they didnt treat her right.  They all say "I should fall for a man like you".     They ask for time to get to know me.. or say maybe we should take it slow...   but when the "bad boy" shows up she jumps right in without her water wings on.  And here I am writing this while they're with another jerk.They even come back a few months even a year later and ask if we could start again..   that the guy they hooked up with instead of me was another jerk who broke their heart or wasnt what they really wanted.  At least I am smart enough to then say "Good luck" and not follow that flame again.

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Remember the summer 102 Views 09/22/10

On the first day of fall....   lets remember a summer storm



summer storm

heat rising from black hot blacktop..
shimmering waves visible to the eye.
air thick with moisture..
difficult to breath..
oppressively obsessively depressively..
weighs on all creatures chests.

white towering billowing clouds
roil in from the west..
their dark underbellies
casting shadows as they cross the horizon..
clouds with altitude and attitude..

fresh cool winds blow frantically ahead..
carrying the scent of water.
playing with the earth..
trees waving, grass swaying,
dust and dead leaves dancing skyward

swallows who have foretold this storm
have swept low feeding for hours
waiting for the rain
now rush nestward to comfort their young

drum roll thunder following distant flashes
anounce to all that the storm is close..
counting the seconds..
1 one thousand 2 one thousand..
between flashes and sound..
to judge the distance

from the hill i rush to find shelter..
an old barn without a door..
wood worn from seasons long..
no one caring for it any more.
waiting for one more winter snow storm
to bring it to earth.

across the valley the conquering
sheet of rain can be seen..
thick grey drops obscuring the hills..
hills I was contemplating just a few minutes ago. 
rain marching over everything in its path.

a few large drops are now pounding..
bang bang bang..
as each of them hit the tin.. 
just a few scouts trying to find a weakness..

first drops hit the ground by the barn..
each causing a small dust cloud
with each heavy hit on the dry bare earth

wind has leaves on the trees turned over
and their coloring is a scared pale green
from their exposed undersides

now more drops hit the roof..
the full division has arrived
so many that it is deafening..
like being inside a drum.
the wind now whips rain mist particles
thru the open door..
the wetness welcomed by my hot skin

lightning is flashing every where
over there.  there..  here.. 
too intiquing to make me afraid and hide..

the thunder is now a marching drum band
with bass drums and snares competing for
my attention..  music for the attack
rumbling deep..  now ratatat
now rumbling so it shakes the barn
and echos in my chest

cool cool cool now replacing the heat..
the barn is now sooo eerily cool..

small riverlets gather where the roof guided rain
come together and puddles start to arise.
each drop that hits the puddle
makes a bubble.. 
and i watch with fascination.
how long can a bubble last 
before another drop bursts it..
hoping one bubble will survive.
an omen?

the sound on the roof lessens..
the roar of the thunder muffles.
and the stikes of lightning move east.

small branches are wind casualties
scatterd across the yard..
grass that was soo happily waving..
now is bent, lying close to the earth.
dust and leaves now mud

somewhere..  over there..
someone else is now hiding from this fury..

the chattering swallows come out
each telling the other about how great a storm this was..
as they shoot skyward to dance high overhead.

and i step out into the puddles..
to make a few bubbles of my own..

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another one bites the dust! 237 Views 08/09/10

if it werent for bad luck I'd hve no luck at all..  



safe heart




I found her on the internet


her profile had a thousand hits


We met after chatting for weeks 


she seemed to be a perfect fit


The time flew as we spoke over coffee


we seemed to get along


But later she wrote me a note


said the feelings were too strong






she said she never had her heart broken


                                       and she never would


i said she never had her heart in it


                                       and she never could



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"I can't find the right man for me" One man's stories 372 Views 07/11/10

The past 3 months have been a microcosim of my experiences here.  I have met or talked to 3 women who all said "I can't find the right man for me."  I think women are looking for a man who can fit perfectly into their lives and not disrupt their habits or lifestyles. Esp NYC women who think the Hudson River is the end of the known Universe.  Every NYC woman I have chatted with if I ask them "which and the city woman are you" can tell me who their role model is.  Get over it!!   Its a TV show..   not real life!  They also think dating anyone outside of the 5 borroughs is a long distance relationship.  If you think these are isolated incidents..  theyre not.  Theyre very representative of my on line experience

Prospect 1  She contacted me.  She was from NYC.  We spoke for two weeks every day for hours.  I drove 3.5 hours to NYC to meet her for dinner.  We spent 5 hours together talking.  It was wonderful.  The next day she says "We can't see each other any more.   You're the type of person I could fall in love with and you live 3 hours away and I want to stay in NYC."  Now she had already told me she couldnt afford to stay in NYC any more and hadnt had a good connection with a man in years.  I said I would move to NYC if it came to that but would have to travel for my job.  "No.. I want my husband home every night"  "What if I get a job in NYC and then get transfered..  you would leave me?  "No..  I would go with my husband.  thats why I don't want to get started with you because we might end up upstate".  We still chat now and then but I havent gone back out with her.

Prospect 2   We chatted for 2 months and decided to meet. She said she hadnt had a date in 5 months and was tired of all the games men played. "I will fly there" I said.  "No, I want to meet at the ocean..  Tampa.  I have a tight schedule so I have to leave after 9 on friday morning and be back by 2 on Monday and I want to fly out of my local airport which is 15 minutes away.  I have a tight budget so you have to pay for all of this"  I checked the flghts..  It was 14 hours of travel time one way from that cow pasture airport.  She had major airports 2 hours away..  but she insisted only her local one.  I told her that it wasnt possible because of the timing.  She said "Well check other Forida locations and California then get back to me"  I responded "I'm not a travel agent, its your airport let me know where you can go from it to the ocean"  She texted me "If you have that attitude..  forget it!"  I have forgotten it.

Prospect 3  We chatted on line on thursday.   She told me how it has been impossible with her schedule to meet men in NYC.  I said I would try to meet her.  She said "But you're so far away" I said I could handle it.. lets try.  She said ok.  She said she had friday afternoon til sunday morning off.  I said lets get together on Friday next week.  The next day (friday night) she texts me and asks me to come see her the next day(Saturday)..  I say I told you I have already made family plans (my sister is in from Florida and staying with me) but we're still on for next weekend.   She was upset.  We spoke saturday afternoon and she said come pick her up after work at 8 on sunday night and take her to a movie.  I said my sister leaves Monday morning..  we're having a going away BBQ Sunday but we're still on for next weekend.  She said "Forget it"  and I have.

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Blue moon 79 Views 06/13/10

I was thinking about the feeling i want when i meet someone after we have chatted here for awhile..



Blue moon



Just another day when you entered my life

I whispered to myself “this could be my wife”

Heart beating, breath leaving, ears turning red

You were a freight train rushing thru my head

We had talked and talked over many many weeks

Now I had stumbled upon what every man seeks

Your beauty and blithe spirit inspire me to croon

You’re the love that comes only once

                                                  In a blue moon

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true love's eyes 215 Views 05/23/10

I was just sitting at the keyboard today and thought about what it would be like to be seen thru true love's eyes..




True love's eyes


I saw myself thru your eyes today

And saw how much you loved me


I saw that you knew all of my faults

And still thought the world of me

I saw that you knew where my wounds were

And that you would never touch them

I saw that you knew what I feared most

And knew you would always protect me

I saw that you knew what I wanted most

And you were always going to help me


I saw that you saw that I loved you back

Even more since I saw

                          how much you loved me

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