We all seek something, many of us havent a clue what it is but those of us who know what we want are surely the saddest of them all.
Its really very simple, we had everything then lost it all, POOF it just went!
Those of us who have known and experienced the amazing mutual desire & unending love between a man and woman are living in between our dreams of the past.
We know what we seek, we just have no idea if we will ever find it again, our lonliness and the emptiness within our heart echo's & vibrates our loss through our entire body!
I was married to the perfect woman ,lover, wife then suddenly she was gone. When I lost her how could I know even then she had taken the time to make sure I was not left all alone to handle the shock of the loss. Thats how amazing she was.
She knew how much she meant to me, I told her & showed her every day how much I loved her just like her daily actions showed me how much she loved me.
We have 3 big healthy breast fed children & she was still a perfect size 2-3 at 58. Both men & women would look at & admire her when we went shopping or out to dinner. She loved to dance, for me to hold her close as I whispered my seductions & nibbled her ear.
We would sit at the bar in clubs and laugh. Strangers would send us drinks then come over to say our laughing was contagious can they join us? At a steak house on Broad street in Phila 3 different couples joined us then another sent drinks & joined us after dinner. We were magic together.
If another man asked her to dance she would say "thank you but I only enjoy it when its my husband rubbing against me". He would either laugh or refuse to take no for an answer at which point I would stand & she would motion in my direction and say, "Have you ever met my husband"? She would giggle then say, lets go home, the creeps are coming out!
After our evening shower I would lie across our bed watching her perform her personal hygiene ritual. She would sit at her dressing table her amazing legs crossed one shoe dangling from her beautiful toes as she brushed her perfect blonde hair. At least 100 but usually 150 brush strokes later I could hear the crackling of the static electricity.
It would take all of my self control to let her finish her routine before I would hold out my arms to her and as she lay down on top of me I would kiss her everywhere. In 30 yrs she never once said, 'I have a headache honey". She would actually laugh & say "Dont men know every little pain & ill feeling a woman has goes right away after we make love & u satisfy me? She would say "If I had a headache I would make sure you made love to me as soon as possible" Then she would laugh & jump back into my arms!
From the night I met her I had no physical desire for another woman. I never cheated on my wife and even when I could have been unfaithful I made sure the one offering knew I had no desire or need for another woman.
An aquaitance of hers once asked me to give her an appraisal on her parents dining room. After letting me in to the living room she excused herself then came back in heels & stockings nothing else and sat on my lap asking me if I wanted to appraise her.
I took her hand & asked her what my wife ever did to her that she wants to hurt her so much? She burst out crying & ran upstairs at which point I just went home.
I never told my wife but she told me after she 1st became sick & we found out it was terminal. She knew I didnt want to hurt her but the woman had called to tell her & say how sorry she was after all our friends had heard just how sick she really was.
My wife even asked our daughter to help make sure i did not grieve more than 6 months & to make sure I got out to meet people & see some of our mutual friends. I had no idea what she was thinking but when I found out I cried again for an entire week. Its an amazing story.
We have 3 wonderful successful children, all educated independant contributers to society with families of their own. (more to come if your interested)