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WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED Posted on May 18, 2007 at 08:52 PM
I stole this from my friend Don from Myspace!!! Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100 People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost nev er have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.
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Why God Made Mothers Posted on May 13, 2007 at 09:24 AM
This is an old one but I like it!! Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's on MM!!! Kiss Hug ******************* By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one"? And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands". The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. Six pairs of hands! No Way!, said the Angel. The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have"! And thats just on the standard model? the Angel asked. The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word". The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish". "But I can't"! The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when shes sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower". The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord". "She is soft", the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish". "Will she be able to think"?, asked the Angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate". The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the womans cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one". "That's not a leak". The Lord objected. "That's a tear"! "What's the tear for"? the Angel asked. The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride". The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything; for mothers are truly amazing"! ~by Erma Bombeck~
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No Means Yes Posted on May 11, 2007 at 06:00 PM
When a woman says NO she means YES I has come to my attention that men are still left in the abyss when it comes to understanding what woman REALLY want and what we REALLY mean. You guys are totally confused and need some lessons on how the woman's brain works. NO means NO when it comes to most physical, hurtful or annoying results. Yes means Yes when we roll our eyes after the word Yes or Yeah right comes out of our mouth. Yes means No when we pause and then giggle. No means Yes when are looking for you to do some sort of task on your own without us having to tell you how and when to do it. Usually the words, "Of course not honey" are a dead give away. For example: Ugly man walks over and sits down next to a woman and he asks her if it's okay for him to sit next to her. If she answers NO... then you best be moving on buddy boy. If your wife comes home from work and sits on the couch and has her eyes closed and you ask her if she feels like washing the car. If she answers Yes or Yeah right... then take this as a BIG NO. You are on your way out to meet with your friends and you mention that some very hot babes will be hanging out with them and you ask your wife if it's okay if she stays home and you could go alone. If she answers YES then you are in big trouble if you take that as a YES, cause she means NO and your lucky you didn't get swatted with the kitchen chair. You have a $1,000 left in your joint checking account and you ask your wife does she mind if you buy the new turbo jetted flying airplane model that is so cool that it zips around and glitters in the sky. If she says No or Of course not honey, go right ahead and knock yourself out. She means YES and you better take out insurance on the toy airplane because its going to wreck and it's not because it fell on the floor!!! Okay, that is it for lesson number 1. Any questions just feel free to post them below and I am sure me or any other one of the wonderful women on here will be more than happy to help you out!! Woohoo!!! Kiss Hug!!!!
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One Question Tag Posted on Apr 23, 2007 at 07:22 PM
Okay, Okay.. I started this blog when I first started blogging and it did not take off very well.. maybe because I was new. So, I am going to start it again to see what happens!!! READY! Okay, so here is the deal. The 1st person to answer this blog gets to ask me any question, no matter how crazy, inappropriate, sexual, or just random, and I promise to answer it 100% truthfully. The catch is now that person is now tagged and the next person gets to ask him/her any question, etc. etc. This should be fun. Keep it in good spirits and fun!! OH, AND BTW.. WHIVSIV! KISS HUG AND HAVE FUN!
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And you thought you were HOT Posted on Apr 21, 2007 at 07:20 PM
Dang HOT HOT HOT... yes I'm talking about the SUN. Below is a pic taken with an Extreme Ultraviolet Imaging Telescope of the sun. I don't know about you... but this stuff always peeks my interest. Without the Sun we are pretty much NON-Existent. It is like 92 Million Miles away from us. We know this because we are able to accurately measure the speed of light (which is ~186,000 miles per second) using radar. Although, we can not use radar to measure the distance between the sun and the earth, because the sun does not have a solid surface to reflect the radar efficiently. But, we can measure the distance between another planet such as Venus and using Trig we can now figure out the distance to the sun... and now that you are completely lost and bored... moving on!!! Now talk about HOT... the sun is ~11,000 degrees F. The hottest areas appear almost white, while the darker red areas are cooler temperatures. Now check this out... I have cut and pasted it: The Sun appears to have been active for 4.6 billion years (and you thought you were old) and has enough fuel to go on for another five billion years or so. (So, don't worry you have plenty of time to find your perfect soul mate). At the end of its life, the Sun will start to fuse helium into heavier elements and begin to swell up, ultimately growing so large that it will swallow the Earth. (Kind of like a huge nuclear explosion just melting everything in it's path). After a billion years as a red giant, it will suddenly collapse into a white dwarf. It may take a trillion years to cool off completely. The Sun is ultimately the source of all food. The connection and interactions between the Sun and Earth drive the seasons, ocean currents, weather, and climate. But you knew that!!! Okay, now I am done with my Science lesson. Tomorrow lesson will be how to keep it hard... Oh come on... I was talking about the Polar Caps and ICE... Woohooooooo!!!
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Where do you live Vs Where you want to live Posted on Apr 20, 2007 at 05:44 PM
Where do you want to live right now at we speak??? I can only speak for myself when I say that I could live anywhere (except Alaska as you will read later on)!!! I grew up in NYC and loved it there. New York has everything from crime, to the subway, to the Ritz and the Hamptons. The people in NY are awsome!! Family oriented and down to earth kind of people. It was not easy leaving New York but I moved to Fort Lauderdale, Florida where it was pure heaven. After you get used to the bugs, the humidity and the heavy rains, it's beautiful. It's an easy laid back, comfortable and stressfree way of living. I also loved Florida, I think more than NY. I loved to walk to the stores in my bikini with no shoes on.. YES I didn't wear shoes.. Imagine that!!! I hardly wore any clothes when I lived in Florida. I would sit by the pool and chill out everyday. Everyone barbecued and had fun!!! Then just when I thought I had enough of fun, I moved to California. OMG when I got to Cali, my first thought was?. This is New York and Florida rolled up into one state!!! Dang.. If it wasn't for the people being so businesslike and constantly flaky I would have liked it the 1st year I moved there. But it took me like 5 years until the state grew on me!!! So now!! I think I can live anywhere and be happy!!! The boonies with the quiet nights listening the owls and bears going through your garbage at night!!! Wait Alaska? nope thats out. I am not moving to Alaska.. Although it has been said there are 10 guys to every female? hmmmmmmm let me see.. 10 guys and being cold. They could keep me warm ALL night!! Ahhh.. Nope I only need one man and it's not in Alaska!! Okay, I lived in the city with the roar and hum of the night life and the hussle and bustle. I lived in Gods country where I just sit and watch the waves of the ocean and drink pina coladas. Im ready for anything!! So what about you? where do you want to live today??? Tomorrow??? If the man of your dreams came along would you up and go??? I would if I could!!!
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How Rumors Start Posted on Apr 19, 2007 at 08:57 PM
Just a little fun pic!!! LMAO!!!
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***BACK FROM VEGAS Day 2*** Posted on Apr 15, 2007 at 03:41 PM
Wooooooohooooooo!!! I am back!!! The Vegas trip was awesome!!! I am really glad I got a chance to meet some of the wonderful people from MM. We had lots of fun and giggles and I hope to go on more trips to meet more of the bloggers from MM!!! And now I must introduce the one and only "PUCK HEFNER"!! Little did the MM bloggers know that we had our very own Hefner right in front of our very eyes. When all the women who went to Vegas met "Mr. PUCK", we were a bit surprise to find that he was so dang SEXY. He drew all 4 of us (Boopster, Stats, Doe2Vixen and myself)into his web of sexiness. We kissed his forehead and lips, we sat very close to him, giggling and starving for his attention. We took our panties off and put them in his pockets as a momento of his Vegas trip. On the 1st night as we all sat up at the Eiffel Tower Restaurant, drinking and giggling in the dimly lit elegant lounge. Puck had 2 women on each arm the whole night. The surrounding men at the lounge came over and asked Puck if he was willing to share some of his sexy women!! The men were JEALOUS that Puck had 4 Hot Sexy Women surrounding him. Their wives wanted to come over and meet the new Hefner!! Kisses were being thrown all over the place. But we weren't sharing Puck Hefner with anyone!! We knew that he was a Stud Muffin and kept him close to our fingers and lips!! We did leave the restaurant that night, but as the saying goes "WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS"?. Ooooooooo Puck you are soooooooooo Sexy Baby?. Muah {{Sprays Puck with special Whip Cream}} Okay Day 2 Smiley made a surprise landing!! He just up and jumped on a plane 2 days before the trip and surprised all of us!! You go boy... you sure know how to make a girl smile!! We all met on Day 2 at Ellis Island. A karaoke bar near the MGM!! It was quite interesting watching everyone sing!! I got Smiley to get up on stage with me and sing "Summer Nights"!!! We were cute together!! I had a blast singing and watching everyone. We even got some of the locals giggling and laughing with us!! After that, Jessica had purchase tickets to Studio 54 for all of us!! Thank you again Jessica!! You go girl. It was a lot different from when I use to go in NYC. But I enjoyed watching the HOT man dancing on a little tiny stage. Yum Yum!! Jessica was dressed for the occassion and had a little bit more attention then she set out for!! She was hot!! woohoooooooo
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KARI & Countrygirl Need New Husbands Posted on Apr 06, 2007 at 06:03 PM
Sorry blogland - It seems 2 of our Marriages to be have hit rock bottom! Kari and countrygirl are of some new Husbands!! Instructions for an Annulment STEP 1: Know that to obtain a civil annulment, you must prove that there was some kind of mistake when you were married - Kind of like "I didn't know that I was going to have to CLEAN THE BARNS OUT" STEP 2: Find out what the permissible reasons for annulment are in your state. - A really good one in this case was that is was never CONSUMMATED!! STEP 3: Realize that you probably need to hire an attorney to handle the case for you. - I KNOW THERE'S AN ATTORNEY HERE SOMEWHERE IN BLOGLAND STEP 4: Recognize that an annulment erases your marriage - Are you CHICKS sure you want to erase your men out?? STEP 5: Relax with the knowledge that an annulment does not make your children illegitimate. They are and will always be legally legitimate. - Let me see no consummation but kids happened?? What the.. STEP 6: Consult your priest for information about an annulment through your church or your rabbi for information about a Get. - WHAT IS A GET??
Bambi and Smiley's Mansion in Paris Posted on Apr 06, 2007 at 02:57 PM
Welcome, welcome to our lovely Mansion in Paris!! You are welcome to browse around while I heat up a cup of tea. Oh you don't like tea. How about some coffee? OKAY... Straight Jack on the Rocks!! Woohoo!!!! Sit right down and I'll tell you a little story about how I become the Queen of Paris. No... Okay... I didn't want to tell you the story anyway. Only kidding darling!!! Muah {{Looks upstairs and watches Hot Sexy Hunky Smiley walking down with his cute satin robe on}} Ummmm honey... can you TIE it... we have company dear!!! Come sit down next to me honey!! Oooooooo you shaved... yum I love a clean shaved face... c'mere let me kiss those cute sexy lips of yours... {{Gentle kisses Smiley on the lips and breath in his very sexy scent}} Ooops I almost forgot you, we have company... Come let's all go into the garden and sit by the pool. ________________________________ Newsflash of Bambi and Smiley's wedding day: April 6th 2007 at 1pm there were many people gathered at St. Patricks Cathedral in New York City. The Cathedral is built of a magnificent white marble and has the most beautiful music emanating from the gigantic organs in the church. It was the same place where Bambi herself graduated many years ago. Amongst the people present were: Kari the Maid of Honor... Smiley's Best Man - unknown name... {sorry honey.. fill this in later}... The List from Jerommes' flower garden... All of the nominees and winners from Crazybeautifuls' First Annual Blog Oscars... The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders at the request of Smiley... Julian McMahon, Kevin Sorbo and Johnny Depp... all good friends of Smiley!! No really they are... really! And of course family and friends from both sides. Bambi entered the Cathedral in her white Milady beautifully designed wedding dress. Not a sound was spoken, but many signs were noticed in the background with the wording "WOOHOO" on them. Then the music started to play Lionel Richie and...
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Willy Will Cold Feet NO MORE? Posted on Apr 04, 2007 at 08:07 AM
Okay you chick a dees out there. Is Willy Will is scared to bite the bullet? Will Willy Will ask Lilly to marry him? Will those legs run faster then a speeding bullet? Will the Spudman makes lil Spudlets? I like that name... lol
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I have an idea - The Pretend Marriages - 9 Couples So Far Posted on Apr 01, 2007 at 08:50 PM
We have 9 Matches so far!! 2 of them are a little rocky right now!! Kari and Countrygirl are unhappy!! They are in need are replacements... lol!! *****THE MATCHES SO FAR***** Bambi & Smiley - Woohooooo *** HorseWhisper & LatinPrincess4U *** MrBlogger & Hooterz *** Optimyst & Geniek *** DoubleDoc & Countrygirl0401 *** SportsMark & Boopster *** Kitten & Iroc3340 *** BlueEyz & Dorma *** Puck & CrazyBeautiful *** Everyone with be matched up with a partner and for 1 or 2 weeks we pretend like they are married to each other!!! You must talk to each other every day on the blogs and compliment each other frequently. You get to make up rules as you go along!! Pretend is the name of the game. Each couple would start their own blog and we jump around to visit other couples. Your blog should consist of what your house looks like and if you have kids, dog, cats.. etc. You make it what you want!! Put your name here if you would like to join the fun and I will match everyone up!! I took off the names of women... just email me if you want to be matched up!! Muah!!
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Is it that time of the year again!! Anyone remember this 1 Posted on Mar 31, 2007 at 04:34 PM
Woohoo!! This was a good one!! I got you all going last year on April Fool's Day!!! Dang.. but can I top this one this year!!! Now let's see... what has happened since 4/1/07... Hmmmmmmm...... {{Bambi Whip creams Blog and screams WOOHOO}} __________________________________ Old blog from 4/07 --> I should be happy but I'm not. I should be thrilled but I am confused. I should say yes, but my heart says No. I have been seeing a man from MM secretly for 3 months now and have not mentioned this to anyone.. NO not even you Kari.. sorry chick!! So, last week I told him that I needed to take a break because I felt that things were going a bit too fast. I mentioned that I have been single for 4 years and I am not sure that I want to give up my freedom. Okay, yes I want someone to share life with, someone to love, someone to cuddle and wake up in the morning with. So, last night he calls and drives over to my house and says we need to talk.. but he wants to go down to the beach so we can listen to the waves break together. We drive down to the beach and we are walking along the sand and wading in and out of the waves crashing at our feet. Somewhere around midnight we stopped and there stood before us were the bright lights of the Santa Monica pier to our right. He pops down on his knees and out comes this 5-carat diamond ring. It glistens from the light of the moon and I couldn't help but think.. this is way too big for me to wear. OMG can you believe that is what I was thinking. Anyway, my 1st reaction was OMG is this real and then reality settles in and I am stuck wondering can I do this. Okay, so right now I just pondering what to do. I didn't give him an answer because it's only been 3 months. What do you think??
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11/11 @ 11:11 What is your Life Path Number? Posted on Mar 26, 2007 at 10:58 PM
What were you doing at 11/11 @ 11:11? I have always been fascinated with the 11:11. Number Eleven possesses the qualities of intuition, patience, honesty, sensitivity, and spirituality, and is idealistic. It's the link to the other side some believe. In systems such as Astrology and basic Numerology, eleven is considered to be a Master Number. Eleven can also represent sin; transgression and peril. Ten being the perfect number, eleven represents the exceeding of both. It is interesting to note that eleven when broken down (1+1=2) comprises the Two of duality. Number eleven is a master vibration and as such should not be reduced to a single number. People with this number could be both idealistic and visionary, and they are attracted to the unknown. They can be both unusual, interesting and magnetic personalities. Eleven bring the gift of spiritual inheritance, is gifted as the "Light-Bearer". It is the number of the Light within all. Strengthened by the love of Peace, gentleness, sensitivity and insight. Greatest facility is the awareness of Universal relationship. Is related to the energy of Oppositions and the Balancing needed in order to achieve synthesis. Eleven is The PeaceMaker... Colors: Gold, Salmon, Prune, White and Black. Determining Your Life-Path Number Let us say that you were born on March 29, 1968. March is the third month - 3 The day 29, 2+9 totals 11 The year 1+9+6+8 totals 24 which reduces [2+4] to 6 Now add 3 with 11 [11 being a Master Number does not reduce]=14 +6=20 Drop the zero, and you have 2 as your Life-Path Number. I happen to be the Master Number "11" - Now you know why I am the way I am!! Woohoo!! How often have you noticed the numbers 11:11, 12:12, 10:10, 22:22, 12:34, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44 or 5:55 popping up all over the place? These number sequences are not necessarily only time prompts. They can also be number sequences, like 333, 1111 etc. To your mind, is this a coincidence, or are they too frequent to be random? Perhaps you are puzzled or amused by this phenomenon? Possibly even a little bit nervous? The question everyone is asking is "What does 11:11 mean?" and "Is there a reason for this?" And there certainly is. Millions of folks all around the world are now seeing these amazing 11:11 prompts. They are folks of all colors, all religions, all beliefs. It's spreading, and becoming far more common; it's become a major phenomenon. Someone or something is causing all these folks to look at clocks, number plates, phone numbers or any source of numbers even when they make no effort themselves to look for these things. You can even change your clocks in the house, and you will still be prompted, at the "wrong" time. You can't stop it, because YOU aren't doing it. Sometimes you will even see these numbers flashing after a power outage, even though digital clocks are supposed to reset to 12:00, not 11:11 or 12:12! These 11:11 Wake-Up Calls on your digital clocks, mobile phones, VCR's and microwaves are the "trademark" prompts of a group of just 1,111 fun-loving Spirit Guardians, or Angels. Once they have your attention, they will use other digits, like 12:34, or 2:22 to remind you of their presence. Invisible to our eyes, they are very real.
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Disney Again Posted on Mar 25, 2007 at 10:00 PM
Okay, so I went to Disney yet again with my little rugrats. We have year passes and I kind of use Disney as a place to go for a couple of hours, since it is only 40 minutes away from me. Instead of going to a park, we go to Disney. Now, here are some problems I have been encountering lately.. any suggestions highly appreciated. 1) For some strange reason, when I ask my kids if they want to go to Disney today - they say "NO"... what's up with that... what kid doesn't like Disney???? 2) The 6 year old use to be afraid of a lot of the rides, but the last 2 times he actually tried some new ones!!! Woohoo!! As a matter of fact - today he wanted to go to the Haunted House!!! But he would not go to the boat ride thing in Frontier land - go figure?? 3) They always want to buy TOYS!! OMG - I tell them no toys before we get there, but you go on the Star Tours and it DUMPS you out in the middle of the Star Wars store... ugh.. it's almost like the supermarkets with the candy in the front of the stores. Today the 6 year old again.. lol, got mad at me because I wouldn't buy him a $45.00 Dark Vader Outfit and a lightsaver to boot!!! Ugh... he settled for a $4.00 car.. not happy and mumbled I hate you on the way home. Actually, that's about it. They really are good kids and we have a great time when we go. Today, just happened to be ONE of those days!!!
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Dumb Laws Posted on Mar 25, 2007 at 12:54 PM
I just have to rag on good old Tennessee since some of my friends are from there. (Buddy if you are reading this please STOP) Okay... some of these are really funny. You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. - this one rates!! Any person crippling, killing or in any way destroying a proud female dog that is running at large shall not be held liable for the damages due to such killing or destruction. More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel. It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. - Hey ya Fred I lasso'd one up ov'r ere - lmao "Crimes against nature" are prohibited. Stealing a horse is punishible by hanging. - I have a good pic that would go with this statement. Driving is not to be done while asleep. - unless driving driving a tractor down the road - omg The age of consent is 16, but 12 if the girl is a virgin. It is legal to gather and consume roadkill. - that's just wrong It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date. - hahahahaha You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property. When you pull up to a stop sign you must fire a gun out the window to warn horse carriages that you are coming. - I think I'll stay in Los Angeles.. but then again.. hmmm No one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk. - unless it's Ben & Jerry bought from the Piggly Wiggly GMAO Spitting on the sidewalk is prohibited. - Better not slip and fall on that there banana'r peel In front of their buildings, all businesses must have a "hitching post." - who makes up this stuff Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians. It's illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM. - OMG.. this one bought the farm Panhandlers must first obtain a $10 permit before begging on the streets of downtown Memphis. (Passed in 1996) It is illegal to give any pie to fellow diners. It is also illegal to take unfinished pie home. All pie must be eaten on the premises. Oneida An ordinance forbids anyone to sing the song "It Ain't Goin' To Rain No Mo'." If you know of any weird and wacky laws please post them!!! GMAO
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*****Spending the day with a total stranger***** Posted on Mar 24, 2007 at 01:20 PM
Okay, it's story time. How many of you have ever spent the day with a total stranger. I may have done this more than once, because I'm weird that way, but I remember one time in particular. And here is my little story: I was living in New York at the time and I was around 22 years old. I was on my way to visit a girlfriend of mine who lived in Brooklyn. We both worked in Manhattan and this would be the 1st time hanging out with her in Brooklyn. She gave me directions, take the D train to the M train, cross over the platform and take the J train.. yadda yadda yadda. So, I get off the M train and suddenly I looking around and don't see any signs for the J train.. ugh!!!!!! So, I'm walking down the platform and it's pretty empty, although it was around 11am on a Saturday. Walking towards me was this man with a bloody face. I stopped and looked at him. He didn't seem all that hurt but I walked over to him and asked him if he was okay and if he needed any help. He was a little confused but said he was okay. I asked what had happened to him and he told me all about this intense story about how he was jumped and beat up by some punks. Then I was explaining to him about how I was now lost and where I needed to go. He tried to explain to me what I needed to do, which involved more trains. I rolled my eyes and suggested we get out of the subway and walk and talk where the sun was shining. We walked to a nearby grocery store and bought a six pack of Bud & Funyons. At this point he cleaned up his face and revealed a very cute and sexy Latino man. We walked to a nearby park and sat under a very big oak tree with shade and drank beer and laughed the hours away. After, about 4 hours of storytelling and giggling, he kissed me. It was very sweet and innocent. Somewhere about 5pm, he told me that he had to go to his sisters' house for dinner which was not far from where we were. I didn't feel like going home and he invited me to come along and have dinner with his family. I met his sister, his 2 nieces and 1 nephew, his brother and his uncle. They all embraced me into their cute little family and we continuing laughing the evening away. I finally left his sisters' house at 9pm and hopped in a cab to get back to my house. I took down his number, but when I woke up the next day, I decided to just let the day be a great memory and never called him. I still think of him from time to time as one of those fantasy men who you would love to meet and marry one day. I like the memory just as it is and have no regrets. Now, does anyone have a similar story!!!
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*****LUCID DREAMING***** Posted on Mar 22, 2007 at 09:01 PM
I had a conversation last night with a friend of mine. We were talking about dreams. And yes I have some wild dreams!! I use to practice lucid dreaming about 3 years ago and found it very fascinating. For those of you who are not familiar with lucid dreaming, it is a learned talent to recognize what we are dreaming as we are dreaming, to control our dreams and to be fully aware that we are dreaming while in a dream state. It takes a couple of weeks of practice to achieve lucid dreaming, but once you do.. OMG it is amazing. Just imagine being able to have sex at will!! Woohoo!! Shhhhh - I know what your thinking? nice nice. The first thing you will have to learn is how to remember your dreams. In order to recognize your dreams while they are happening, you will have to be familiar with the way your own dreams work. In the 1st week you should try to remember at least one dream every night. Whatever it is, even if it's a bird flew over my head. You will need plenty of sleep. Everyone dreams about every 90 minutes. The longer dreams occur usually after 4 or 5 hours of sleep. You will need a dream journal to put on the side of your bed to record dreams. When you awaken in the middle of the night, record the dream immediately. Yes, I know you can't see and you really don't want to sit up and start writing. The 1st week you can just scribble and this will give you the patience of at least waking and writing your dreams down. After the 1st week of writing your dreams and ACTUALLY remembering them you are ready to start lucid dreaming. Each night before you go to bed you will have to have a ritual. Put something next to your bed and look at it and say to yourself, "This is reality". You will also tell yourself that you are going to remember your dreams and you will look at your dream journal. To be able to have lucid dreams you will have to recognize that you are dreaming by being aware of things that only happen in dreams. For instance some people may not have faces or building may not have windows. There will always be missing details in your dreams. At some point, you will tell yourself, I am dreaming and be a part of your dream. For those who are really interested in lucid dreaming, you can easily go onto the internet and get a full explanation of how it works. For the rest of you ? Tell me some of your dreams!!!! Happy Dreaming!!!!
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False Alarm - My Dad Died Posted on Mar 18, 2007 at 03:35 PM
This is a blog I wrote on Christmas Eve. Three days after I wrote this blog my Dad answered his phone and I found out he was out of town for 3 weeks and the place he lived at thought he had passed away. So, he is still alive, still complaining, still asking me for money... lol... but it's nice to know that he is still around! 12/24/06 - I went to the mailbox today at 4:30pm December 24, 2006, Christmas eve and received an envelope that said "return to sender", "party deceased". This was the Christmas card that I had mailed to my Dad on the 15th of the month. I was planning to drive out to Las Vegas with the kids to see him the day after Christmas. I put money in the envelope and mailed it early enough to make sure that he got it on time because I am the only one that talks to him. My sister doesn't know him that well and calls him maybe once a year. My brother refuses to talk to him at all. At 1st I was pretty emotionless and thought to myself, someone had to have made a mistake. But then thinking he has been telling me he was drying for 10 years now. I always joked with him and said okay Dad just make sure you take a insurance policy out!! But the last 2 months it was different, he complained as usual and said that he was going to kick the bucket as usual but there was something in his voice that sounded like he was scared and knew what was about to happen. Back to the envelope. I looked at it and got my cell phone. I called his house but still no answer. I try to call the VA hospital, the place where he lived (housing authority of las vegas), even the city morgue and got voicemails and no real people. I was on my way to bring my daughter out to dinner and since I was not 100% sure that my Dad had passed away I decided that being with my children and having Christmas was way more important then mourning over my Dad and had to push any emotions out of the way. I need to explain my Dad and although most people think he was a horrible person I have always forgave him and let him be himself and never judged him. This will be long and I don't expect anyone to read this but I have a need to write it and post it. It is rather personal, but I have always been an open book and have always been open about my life. I think its a way of dealing with the world and moving on and being able to cope and handle anything that cross my path. My Dad: He met my Mom at John Jays swimming pool in NYC when they were teenagers. She told me the day they met he called her a name & she clawed his chest with her fingernails and threw him into the pool. She hated him and ended up marrying him at the age of 20. They lived on 82nd and 1st Avenue in Manhattan and my Dad liked to gamble. My Mom thought if she moved to the Bronx he would be far away from all of the gambling parties in Manhattan and he would stop. Well, hahaha... her bad. My Dad continued to gamble through the rest of his life (which is why of course he lives in Las Vegas now).. hmm not sure whether to use past tense there or not. I remember my Dad would gamble in the park with all of the little old men and he would cheat. He was a card shark and always won. I would stop by from time to time and if my Dad has lots of money next to him, I would hang around him until him would hand me some money just so I would go away. I knew better not to be around if he wasn't winning as much as he would like to be. My Dad taught me a lot of things. He taught he how to play chess. Every day after school he would leave the chess set in the living room with 7 to 8 pieces on the board. I had to figure out how white could win in 2 moves. This is how I learned strategy. When we would play in the beginning he removed his queen, 2 rooks, 1 bishop and 1 horse. Each time I beat him he would add a piece. This took a long time but by the time I was 10 I could kick his ass and he said to me one day, "I'm not playing with you anymore you cheat".... That made my day!!! My Dad taught me to play backgammon, cards, how to gamble the right way. He taught me how to drive at the age of 8 and taught me how to drink at the age of 10. He was a bartender and would test the drinks on me to see if I liked them.. what a Dad. At the time I thought he was the best. We had a lot of fun together. I remember coming home from school one day and I smelled pot. I went into the living room and said I smell something funny. My Dad said with a giggle, Don't look at me, it's your brother!! He is smoking those funny lil cigarettes. I almost died laughing, just the thought of my Dad smoking pot. Amazing. Now, my Dad may have seemed to be great to a 8 year old, but to most adults he was less than a father. He would cheat on my Mom, he moved in, he moved out. He drank. He couldn't hold a job for more than 2 weeks. He was a taxi cab driver, a dispatcher, a dog trainer, a bartender, a TV repair man (which he had his own business in the beginning but screwed that up), but mostly he was a gambler. Well, finally my Mom had enough when I was 16 years old. She found out that my Dad got the lady who lived above us pregnant. My Mom packed my Dads bags and threw him out. The last time I talked to my Dad when I was 16 he was at the park gambling and wanted me to run to the park to say Hello. I was sick in bed it was Christmas time come to think of it. I had a fever and could not go out. Well, I did not hear or see my Dad for 16 years after that. He disappeared and no one knew where he was. I was 32 and living in Florida when I got this phone call. And lo and behold it was my Dad. We talked on the phone like as if it was yesterday and I was 16 years old. I didn't hate him for not calling or being there to see me grow up, but let him know that I was okay with whatever reason he had. The only difference was that I no longer felt the love for him that I had when I was younger. No longer did I look up to him and think he was the bomb. No longer did I love him. He was just another person at the other end of the phone. Over the next 10 years he would constantly tell me he was dying. First he had some breathing problem (he smoked). Then he developed diabetes (because of his poor eating habits and smoking habits and drinking habits). About 3 years ago he had open heart surgury 5 bypass. I flew to Vegas to see him and I remember his doctors asking me and my sister (whom also flew there) which one of us were going to take him home with us. We both looked at him and told him neither one of us. They would have to figure out what to do with him. I didn't feel obligated to take on the responsibility of someone who did nothing for me. I didnt love my Dad still. He made his life the way it was and he had to take his own responsibility for it. He recovered and had a full time nurse looking after him. He was a Veteran Vet because he was in the Marines. They took really good care of him most of his life. Well, back to today I went to dinner with my daughter we had fun and we talked about the Dad of the fact that I'm pretty sure he has passed away. I explained to her that I am not sure how I feel about it. I may feel somewhat different after I hear from someone that he has in fact passed away. Right now I feel a little numb. I had to drive to Manhattan Beach to pick up my 2 youngest sons at 8:30pm and at that time I did feel something. I started to cry. I wasn't sure why I was crying. Maybe it was because I wanted to bring the kids to see their grandfather and now they can not go to see him. I did bring them last year to meet him for the 1st time and I'm glad they did get a chance to meet my Dad. Maybe I felt sad because he has done nothing for me my whole life and was hoping he would turn around and instead of being so selfish, think of someone else for a change. Maybe I just missed him, I'm not sure. Whatever the reason, I felt something. But I do know that tomorrow is Christmas and tomorrow my 3 children will have a great Christmas and we will spend Christmas being happy and having fun. No sad faces tomorrow. As a matter of fact I decided not to tell my sister and brother until Tuesday the day after Christmas. Just in case they would feel sad and not be able to handle it as well as me. I decided to let them have their Christmas without any sadness. So, here's a toast to my Daddy. He is only human and he may have tried as best he knew how. I never felt like he owed me anything and I always gave him smiles and laughter and remembered him on the important day just so I could bring a smile to his face. That is what life is about. Giving to others and not expecting anything in return. Kiss Hug Dad and now that you are an angel (a fallen angel - lol) maybe now you can send me the winning lottery numbers!!! Keep smiling Dad I guess I do love you in my own little way and I will miss you!!!
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The Life of an Egg Posted on Mar 17, 2007 at 06:12 PM
So you think your life is bad. Just think how bad the life of the egg is... You only get laid once! You only get eaten once! It takes 4 minutes to get hard 2 minutes to get soft You have to share a box with 11 other guys And the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. (Now don't you feel better)
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