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3345roc
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Blog title: My blog
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My blog address: http://MillionaireMatch.com/blog/3345roc
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No rest for the weary 51 Views 07/24/14

Jim Geraghty is a Conservative Commentator and blogger and, as such, quite biased.  Should we, however, be concerned about the health of our Presidentt????

 

No Rest for the Wicked 
As crises at home and abroad worsen, Obama reverts to his favorite trite form of reassurance. 

By Jim Geraghty

Tuesday, President Obama visited the Dutch Embassy in Washington, D.C., and wrote in a condolence book for the victims of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17, “We will not rest until we are certain that justice is done.”

He then departed for a three-day fundraising trip to the West Coast.

Obama’s pledge that “we will not rest until . . . ” may sound familiar to you. In fact, the pledge is so chronically overused, and issued so casually, that it no longer carries much meaning. Here’s a brief history:

April 9, 2009: “We will not rest until we reach a day when not one single veteran falls into homelessness.”

July 31, 2009: “I will not rest until every American who wants a job can find one.”

September 15, 2009: “I want you all to know, I will not rest until anybody who’s looking for a job can find one — and I’m not talking about just any job, but good jobs that give every American decent wages and decent benefits and a fair shot at the American Dream.”

October 23, 2009: “Until the American Dream is within reach for anybody who believes in it, anybody who’s willing to fight for it — we will not rest until that’s happened.”

November 23, 2009: “I will not rest until businesses are investing again and businesses are hiring again and people have work again.”

November 26, 2009: “We cannot rest — and my administration will not rest — until we have revived this economy and rebuilt it stronger than before; until we are creating jobs and opportunities for middle-class families; until we have moved beyond the cycles of boom and bust — of reckless risk and speculation — that led us to so much crisis and pain these past few years.”

December 28, 2009: “A full investigation has been launched into this attempted act of terrorism and we will not rest until we find all who were involved and hold them accountable.”

January 28, 2010: “We will not rest until we build an economy that’s ready for America’s future.”

February 19, 2010: “I’m here to tell you, I will not rest — I know Harry [Reid] will not rest — until we’re not just recovering, but we’re prospering.”

May 12, 2010: “My administration and I will not rest — or be satisfied — until the leak is stopped at the source, the oil on the Gulf is contained and cleaned up, and the people of this region are able to go back to their lives and livelihoods.”

July 8, 2010: “I’ve said since I took office that my administration will not rest until every American who is able and ready and willing to work can find a job, and a job that pays a decent wage and has decent benefits to support a family.”

August 16, 2010: “My administration will not rest till every American who is willing to work can find a job, and a job that pays decent wages and decent benefits to support a family.”

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The Origins of Beer.... Author Unknown 108 Views 07/17/14

   

A History Lesson

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. 

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: 

1. Liberals; and 
2. Conservatives. 

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. 

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement. 

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. 

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girliemen. 

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. 

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. 

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. 

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat. 

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. 

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing. 

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Farewell to a great American Hero 112 Views 07/07/14

We lost Louie Zamperini last week.  He was the subject of the book and the movie "Unbroken".  He was 97.

 

Also, Happy Birthday to two American Patriots...

 

George W. Bush and Nancy Reagan.

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The Law of Large Numbers 110 Views 06/26/14

George W. Bush was sitting in the Oval Office when his secretary walks in with a phone in his hand.

 

He says, "Four Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."

 

Upon hearing this The President says, "Oh my God!" and he buries his head in his hands. The entire Cabinet was stunned. Usually George Bush showed no reaction whatsoever to these types of reports.

 

Just then, Bush looked up and said, "How many is a Brazilian??"

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Are you Pro Choice? 268 Views 05/16/14

Really....

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The Ant and the Grasshopper 228 Views 02/12/14

OLD TRADITIONAL VERSION

The ant works  hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and  laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

——————————————————————————

 NEW PROGRESSIVE VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’

ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.

President Obama condemns the ant and blames capitalism for the grasshopper’s plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry  King  that the ant  has  gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on  the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY: If you choose to become a parasite, don’t kill your victim.

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Lettter to Alan 214 Views 04/15/14

Remember when Sen. Simpson referred to us as the "greediest generation"?  Here's a response from a "fellow in Montana".

 

Hey Alan, 

Let's get a few things straight… 

1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS ... 

2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old. I am now 63) 

3. My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud ... 

4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67. NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN ... 

5. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills... 

6. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why? Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay of YOUR debt. 

To add insult to injury, you label us "greedy" for calling “bullshit” on your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for YOU ... 

1. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50 year

political career? 

2. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers? 

3. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance? 

4. What cuts in YOUR retirement and health care benefits are you proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual, have you exempted yourself and your political cronies? 

It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators who are "greedy". It is you and they who have bankrupted America and stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers. And for what? Votes. That's right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers. You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it. 

And you can take that to the bank, you miserable son of a bitch. 

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What do you see? 131 Views 04/07/14

A Parrott?  A Woman?  Both?

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Blonde Man Jokes 70 Views 04/07/14

 A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: 

 "Did you find the shampoo?"
 He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do...

 it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
 ------------------------------------
 A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
 "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
 The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
 The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
 ------------------------------------
 A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
 It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND. "
 He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
 ------------------------------------
 A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone,

 "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
 "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
 "No!" he shouts, "This is her husband!"
 ------------------------------------
 A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk.
 Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
 A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
 The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
 ------------------------------------
 A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.

 His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
 He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
 "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
 "Here boy!" he replies.
 ------------------------------------
 A blonde man is in jail.
 The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
 "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
 "Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
 "The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
 "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
 ------------------------------------
 An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
 To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
 --------------------------------------
 A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
 The blonde man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
 ------------------------------------
 Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
 One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
 The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
 ------------------------------------
 A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said:

 "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are having sex.
 The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
 To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday

 

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Abbott and Costello 41 Views 04/07/14

COSTELLO:  I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 7.8%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%.
COSTELLO: You just said 7.8%.
ABBOTT: 7.8% Unemployed.
COSTELLO: Right 7.8% out of work.
 ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%.
 COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 14.7% unemployed.
 ABBOTT: No, that's 7.8%.
 COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 7.8% or 14.7%?
 ABBOTT: 7.8% are unemployed. 14.7% are out of work.
 COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.
 ABBOTT: No, Congress said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. 
You have to look for work to be unemployed.
COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!
 ABBOTT: No, you miss the point.
 COSTELLO: What point?
 ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.
 COSTELLO: To whom?
 ABBOTT: The unemployed.
 COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.
 ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
 COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?
 ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!
 COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?
 ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how they get it to 7.8%. Otherwise it would be 14.7%. Our govt. Doesn't want you to read about 14.7% unemployment.
 
COSTELLO: That would be tough on those running for reelection.
  
ABBOTT: Absolutely.
 COSTELLO:
 Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?
 
ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.
 
COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

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Putin versus the World 255 Views 03/18/14

Ukraine buys almost half all its energy (natural gas)from Russia and the rest of the EU is very dependent on Russian energy. Revenues from natural gas sales are a primary source of income for Russia.


Because of the recent disagreement between Ukraine and Russia, Russia
is removinf the discount on the price of natural gas it sells to Ukraine.

Ukraine is almost broke and can't afford the increase in the natural
gas price because it would be forced into bankruptcy.

Obama(the USA) just announced the United States is giving Ukraine $1
billion to assist in paying for the higher priced natural gas it buys
from Russia.

So, the United States is actually giving Russia $1 billion because the
money is just passing through Ukraine.

The first question: Has Putin figured out a way to raise the price of
his natural gas sales and make the U.S. pay for the increase?

Next question: Was he really in the KGB or was he a commodities trader?


This can backfire on Putin if Cyprus and Israel can supply natural gas from it's new finds and the US can also start exporting to Europe.

 

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In the Wrong Hands 149 Views 03/27/14

Be careful, be very, very careful.

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The Debt Ceiling 128 Views 03/27/14

THE DEBT CEILING

 
* Democrats don't understand THE DEBT CEILING
* Republicans don't understand THE DEBT CEILING
* Liberals don't understand THE DEBT CEILING
* NO ONE understands THE DEBT CEILING
 
* SO, -  let's look at it this way.
 
You come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood. Your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings.
 
What do you think you should do --
 
1.  Raise the ceiling

 

or....

 

2.  Pump out the sh*t?
 

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Any car nuts out there.. 471 Views 03/02/14

These concept cars from the 50's that never saw the light of day...

 

1952 Chrysler de Elegance....

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Baseball trivia intersects World War II History 52 Views 03/20/14
Here's a history bit that I bet you never knew...
 
When baseball greats Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig went on tour in baseball-crazy Japan in 1934, some fans wondered why a third-string catcher named Moe Berg was included.
 
 
The answer: Berg was a US spy.
 
Speaking 15 languages - including Japanese - Moe Berg had two loves: baseball and spying.
 
In Tokyo, garbed in a kimono, Berg took flowers to the daughter of an American diplomat being treated in St. Luke's Hospital - the tallest building in the Japanese capital.
 
He never delivered the flowers.
The ball-player ascended to the hospital roof and filmed key features: the harbor, military installations, railway yards, etc.
 
Eight years later, General Jimmy Doolittle studied Berg's films in planning his spectacular raid on Tokyo.
 
 
Berg's father, Bernard Berg, a pharmacist in Newark, New Jersey, taught his son Hebrew and Yiddish.  Moe, against his wishes, began playing baseball on the street aged four.
 
His father disapproved and never once watched his son play.
In Barringer High School, Moe learned Latin, Greek and French.
 
He graduated magna cum laude from Princeton having added Spanish, Italian, German and Sanskrit to his linguistic quiver.
 
During further studies at the Sorbonne, in Paris, and Columbia Law School, he picked up Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Indian, Arabic, Portuguese and Hungarian - 15 languages in all, plus some regional dialects.
 
While playing baseball for Princeton University, Moe Berg would describe plays in Latin or Sanskrit.
 
 
During World War II, he was parachuted into Yugoslavia to assess the value to the war effort of the two groups of partisans there.  He reported back that Marshall Tito's forces were widely supported by the people and Winston Churchill ordered all-out support for the Yugoslav underground fighter, rather than Mihajlovic's Serbians.
 
The parachute jump at age 41 undoubtedly was a challenge. But there was more to come in that same year.
 
Berg penetrated German-held Norway, met with members of the underground and located a secret heavy water plant - part of the Nazis' effort to build an atomic bomb.
 
His information guided the Royal Air Force in a bombing raid to destroy the plant.
 
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For all of the moms out there... 173 Views 03/16/14

This one's for you....

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Thirty Seconds over Tokyo ... Doolittle Raiders 88 Views 03/13/14

After Japan's sneak attack on Pearl Harbor , with the United States reeling and wounded, something dramatic was needed to turn the war effort around. 


Even though there were no friendly airfields close enough to Japan for the United States to launch a retaliation, a daring plan was devised. Sixteen B-25s were modified so that they could take off from the deck of an aircraft carrier. This had never before been tried -- sending such big, heavy bombers from a carrier.
 
The 16 five-man crews, under the command of Lt. Col. James Doolittle, who himself flew the lead plane off the USS Hornet, knew that they would not be able to return to the carrier. They would have to hit Japan and then hope to make it to China for a safe landing.
 
But on the day of the raid, the Japanese military caught wind of the plan. The Raiders were told that they would have to take off from much farther out in the Pacific Ocean than they had counted on. They were told that because of this they would not have enough fuel to make it to safety.  And those men went anyway. 
 
They bombed Tokyo , and then flew as far as they could. Four planes crash-landed; 11 more crews bailed out, and three of the Raiders died. Eight more were captured; three were executed. 
Another died of starvation in a Japanese prison camp. One crew made it to Russia .
 
The Doolittle Raid sent a message from the United States to its enemies, and to the rest of the world: We will fight. And, no matter what it takes, we will win.   Of the 80 Raiders, 62 survived the war. They were celebrated as national heroes, models of bravery. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer produced a motion picture based on the raid; "Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo," starring Spencer Tracy and Van Johnson, was a patriotic and emotional box-office hit, and the phrase became part of the national lexicon. In the movie-theater previews for the film, MGM proclaimed that it was presenting the story "with supreme pride."
 
Beginning in 1946, the surviving Raiders have held a reunion each April, to commemorate the mission. The reunion is in a different city each year. In 1959, the city of Tucson , Arizona , as a gesture of respect and gratitude, presented the Doolittle Raiders with a set of 80 silver goblets. Each goblet was engraved with the name of a Raider.  Every year, a wooden display case bearing all 80 goblets is transported to the reunion city. Each time a Raider passes away, his goblet is turned upside down in the case at the next reunion, as his old friends bear solemn witness.
 
Also in the wooden case is a bottle of 1896 Hennessy Very Special cognac. The year is not happenstance: 1896 was when Jimmy Doolittle was born.  There has always been a plan: When there are only two surviving Raiders, they would open the bottle, at last drink from it, and toast their comrades who preceded them in death.

As 2013 began, there were five living Raiders; then, in February,
Tom Griffin passed away at age 96. 
What a man he was. After bailing out of his plane over a mountainous Chinese forest after the Tokyo raid, he became ill with malaria, and almost died. When he recovered, he was sent to Europe to fly more combat missions. He was shot down, captured, and spent 22 months in a German prisoner of war camp.

The selflessness of these men, the sheer guts ... there was a passage in the Cincinnati Enquirer obituary for Mr. Griffin that, on the surface, had nothing to do with the war, but that emblematizes the depth of his sense of duty and devotion:  "When his wife became ill and needed to go into a nursing home, he visited her every day. He walked from his house to the nursing home, fed his wife and at the end of the day brought home her clothes. At night, he washed and ironed her clothes. Then he walked them up to her room the next morning. He did that for three years until her death in 2005."

So now, out of the original 80, only four Raiders remain: Dick Cole (Doolittle's co-pilot on the Tokyo raid), Robert Hite, Edward Saylor and David Thatcher. All are in their 90s. They have decided that there are too few of them for the public reunions to continue. The events in Fort Walton Beach marked the end. It has come full circle; Florida 's nearby Eglin Field was where the Raiders trained in secrecy for the Tokyo mission. The town planned to do all it can to honor the men: a six-day celebration of their valor, including luncheons, a dinner and a parade.


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What you should know about dogs 115 Views 03/04/14

A dog's interpretation of property law:
  1. If I like it, it’s mine                                       2. If it’s in my mouth, it’s mine
  3. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine           4. If I can take it from you, it’s mine

  5. If it’s mine, it must never be yours              6. If it just looks like mine, it’s mine

  7. If I saw it first, it’s mine                               8. If you are playing with something and put it down, it’s mine

  9. If I am chewing something up,                  10. If it used to be yours, get over it

      all of the pieces are mine

 11. If it's broken, it's yours.

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Golfing in Scotland 188 Views 03/02/14

Four guys have been going to the same Golfing trip to St Andrews for many years..

 

Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

 

Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

 

Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up! "Wow, Jack, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

 

"Well, I've been here since last night.. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.

 

She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she's been reading 50 Shades of Grey......On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.

 

And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So, Here I am!



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Jokes... enter at your own risk. 77 Views 02/12/14

The Nurse and the AAA Batteries

 

"Of course I won't laugh," said the Nurse to the patient, "I'm a professional.

In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

 

"Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the
smallest adult male organ the Nurse had ever seen in her life. 
In length and width it was almost identical to a AAA battery.

 

Unable to control herself, the Nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out.
And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing Feeling very
badly that she had laughed at the man's private part, she composed herself as
well as she could.

 

"I am so sorry," she said,"I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a 
Nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems
to be the problem?"

 

"It's swollen," Bob replied.

 

She ran out of the room

 

The Blonde and The Truck Driver

 

As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load." 

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" 

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde's car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's Winter in Michigan and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

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