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total posts: 128
Blog title: Orlando's Learning and Research Blog
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Welcome! This is a research blog used to educate.  If you seek a different type of blog (e.g., personal, poems, etc.), I completely understand and encourage you to seek them.  Please practice the Golden Rule. Happy searching!  ~Orlando

My blog address: http://MillionaireMatch.com/blog/Orlando__
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Texting and Dating 208 Views 07/29/13

Ever wonder how texting plays a role in dating.  Well, two dating sites did also and employed a study of 1,500 single men and women on the texting preferences in relation to dating.  Here's the scoop.

Approximately a third of singles said it was "less intimidating” to ask someone out via text message. A total of 46 percent were annoyed by the person who texted them too many times after a date while 78 percent expect a text back within 24 hours if they had a good first date.   Breaking up with someone who you causually dated was deemed as a satisfactory practice.  It was definitely not good to have your smartphone on when having sex with someone you were dating.  Finally, men expected women to text first after a date (though slightly) than did women expected men.  Overall, both genders agreeded it didn't matter who texted first.

IPhone users, it turns out, were more likely to ask a person out via text than Droid users. Droid users were more gender neutral about who should text first.  Droid users also didn't mind their significant others looking through their phone as much as iPhone users.

Interestingly, the majority of singles from both genders agree that “texting has made dating more ambiguous.” In short, the study suggested the old courtship model is dead. No longer does that man need to pursue until the woman fends him off--thanks to smartphones.

Source: The State of Dating Report. (2013).

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Sex and the Fountain of Youth: 213 Views 07/22/13

It appears there just may be a fountain of youth.

Dr. David Weeks recently presented his findings to the British Psychological Society showing that people who engage in more sex looked much younger than those who have less sex.

He took a sample of participants in their 40s and 50s who completed a questionnaire about the frequency of thier sex life.  A standardized photo was taken of the individuals and then assessed for age by an independent panel who knew nothing of the survey results.  Those who had sex an average of 3 or more times per week looked an average of 7 years younger.  The magic number appears to be 3 or more per week.

Dr. Weeks attributes it to human growth hormone and endorphins, which helps keep the skin elastic and makes the body feel better or at-ease. Moreover, sex increases blood circulation (good for that heart and skin), burns fat, and bolsters the immune system.  As Dr weeks notes,  “My message is that lovemaking is good." It also appears to be youthful.

Source: David Weeks. (July 2013). Conference Proceedings, British Psychological Society.

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Judgmentalism 366 Views 07/15/13

By writing this blog I will fall prey and be accused to the very thing I personally detest--judgmentalism.  I'm referring to those who feel the need to stand in judgment of and interfere in others actions. We all know who they are.

Before I get to my research let me state that judgmentalism is not all bad.  Yes, Hitler was a bad person.  Killing is terrible.  We make inconsequential judging of cars, colors, clothes, etc.  It is the person-focused judger I refer to who seems to lack a filter and feels compelled to judge other people's actions.  It's myopic.

So, in order to understand this judgmentalism I turned to reseach.  And what I found is interesting to me.

First, Bodenhausen, Gabriel, and Lineberger (200) have found that those having a "judgmental bias" are "sad" people. This sadness leads them to fall victim to "over judgments" as the authors state.

Second, research going back to 1992 has shown that "sad moods, in contrast, appear to be characterized by more extensive, detail-oriented information processing strategies" and "human inference and judgment" bias (see Forgas, 1995; Sinclair & Marks, 1992).  Put in laymen's terms, sad people feel a need to judge others and interfere in other people's lives more than happy people.

But why is this the case?

The answer lies in the third bit of research.  "Sad" judgers, according to Weary (1990) and Weary and Gannon (1996), "need to regain a sense of predictability and control over the environment."  In other words, because their own lives lack control they have a need to control others.

I'll end with this quote by Wayne Dyer: "When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."


Sources:

Bodenhausen, G. V., Gabriel, S., & Lineberger, M. (2000). Sadness and susceptibility to judgmental bias: The case of anchoring. Psychological Science, 11(4), 320-323.

Forgas, J.P. (1995). Mood and judgment: The affect infusion model (AIM). Psychological Bulletin, 117, 39–66.

Sinclair, R.C., & Marks, M.M. (1992). The influence of mood state on judgment and action: Effects on persuasion, categorization, social justice, person perception, and judgmental accuracy. In L.L. Martin & A. Tesser (Eds.), The construction of social judgment (pp. 165–193). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Weary, G. (1990). Depression and sensitivity to social information. In B.S. Moore & A.M. Isen (Eds.), Affect and social behavior
(pp. 207–230). Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.

Weary, G., & Gannon, K. (1996). Depression, control motivation, and person perception. In P.M. Gollwitzer & J.A. Bargh (Eds.), The psychology of action: Linking cognition and motivation to behavior
(pp. 146–167). New York: Guilford Press.

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Do Nice Guys Finish Last? 633 Views 07/07/13

Do "bad boys" get the girls? Do "nice guys" finish last?

Work by Rebellon and Manasse have found that "bad boys" indeed do get the girls (in the teenage years).  As they stated, "delinquency serves to increase romantic involvement."  The preference for "bad boys" starts early on with females.  This research, however, is based on teenagers.  But what of women and not teenagers?


The answer depends, in part, on sex.  Trapnell and Meston found that "nice guys" who were modest, agreeable, and unselfish were disadvantaged in sexual relationships. Men who were manipulative, arrogant, calculating, and sly were more sexually active and had a greater variety of sexual experiences and a greater number of sex partners. Herold and Milhausen found in their study of university women that the "bad boys" were preferred over the "nice guys" if the woman was interested in sex. As they stated, "bad boys tend to be more sexually successful" than "nice guys" who were regularly viewed as "less sexually successful."  In addition, they found women that did go for the "bad boys" wanted them temporarily for sex but eventually wanted the "nice guys" for "committed relationships." 


So, it appears the stereotype is true.  Bad boys get the girls in bed and nice guys finish last.


Sources:

Herold, E. S., & Milhausen, R. R. (1999). Dating preferences of university women: An analysis of the nice guy stereotype. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 25(4), 333-343.

Rebellon, C. J., & Manasse, M. (2004). Do “bad boys” really get the girls? Delinquency as a cause and consequence of dating behavior among adolescents. Justice Quarterly, 21(2), 355-389.

Trapnell, P.D., & Meston, C.M. (1996, August). Sex and the big five: Nice guys finish last. Poster presented at the American Psychological Association Annual Convention, Toronto, ON, Canada.

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Top 10 Best Date Ideas 158 Views 07/03/13

Match did a survey of over 1,000 of its members to determine what they thought was the "best places for a first date."  Here are the results:

 

1.  Coffee house (81%)

 

2. Walk in the park (71%)

 

3. The local diner (65%)

 

4. Brunch (62%)

 

5. Live music (45%)

 

6. Museum (43%)

 

7. Fancy restaurant (37%)

 

8. Comedy club (36%)

 

9. Bar (36%)

 

10. Sporting event (35%)

 

 

 

Source: Amy Keyishian. (2013).  10 Great Places For A First Date. Match.com

 

 

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Why People Are Rude on MM 350 Views 06/30/13

Rudeness, sadly enough, occurs on Millionaire Match's blogs, emails, forums, and other areas of the site far too often. I have experienced it first hand.  I have seen offensive comments and received rude emails without thought to how it would be interpreted.  It's known as "Online Disinhibition Effect." It is when someone posts or emails an impulsively rude or offensive remark that they wouldn't do face-to-face.  An experiment by Niederhoffer and Pennebaker listed in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology found that individuals were 18.8% more rude or offensive online compared to face-to-face.  This led me to research why this occurs.

Research by John Suler published in CyberPsychology & Behavior found people were more likely to lose their inhibitions when communicating online compared to face-to-face.  He found 6 reasons people have "Online Disinhibition Effect."

Dissociative anonymity or "You don't know me" effect occurs because the person remains anonymous, which provides a sense of protection.

Invisibility or "You can't see me" effect means the Internet provides a shield to its user though usernames and pseudonyms.

Asynchronicity or "See you later" effect. As Suler notes very personal, emotionally charged, or inflammatory messages can be left and then "run away."

Solipsistic introjection is "It's all in my head" effect.  Lacking any kind of visual face-to-face cues, the rude individual assigns characteristics and traits to a "person" which are not accurate.

Dissociative imagination or "It's just a game" effect.   People may see cyberspace as a kind of game where the normal politeness of everyday interaction don't apply to them.

Minimization of authority is "Your rules don't apply here" effect. Levels of authority that might otherwise be present in real life are often completely absent on the internet.

All six effects speak ill of the person posting or emailing the comment. It is a good lesson that we should all try and live by the Golden Rule.

Sources:
Niederhoffer, K. G., & Pennebaker, J. W. (2002). Linguistic style matching in social interaction. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 21(4), 337-360.

Suler, J. (2004). The online disinhibition effect. Cyberpsychology & behavior, 7(3), 321-326.

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Fake or Real: Which is Preferred? 227 Views 06/28/13

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, 286,274 women got a boob job in 2012.  But the real question is do men prefer the fake or the real ones?  Here are the results of men's preference based on surveys ranging from 1,000 to 2,000 males:

 

Heat Magazine: 89% real, 11% fake

Fark website: 93% real, 7% fake.

Cosmopolitan Magazine: 74% real, 16% fake

MyFaceMyBody website: 75% real, 25% fake

More Magazine: 85% real, 15% fake

 

 It appears the real ones have the popular vote by a busty margin.

 

 Source: Heat, Fark, MyFaceMyBody, More, & Cosmo websites; American Society of Plastic Surgeons

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Fertile Women: Hot to Trot? 119 Views 06/25/13

Women in ovulation, or the times when they are most fertile, have particular behaviors compared to when they are not in that time frame.  Professors Beall and Tracey took a look at when women were most fertile.  Their study and literature review of ovulating women pointed out some fascinating facts about the fairer sex during those peak times:

1.  Women are three times more likely to wear pink and red.
2.  Women who wear red during this time are linked to sex and romance.
3.  Men find women wearing or surrounded by red particularly attractive and sexually desirable.
4.  Women are more likely to dress in a way that increases their sexual attractiveness to men.
5.  Women’s faces are judged as more attractive during peak fertility.
6.  Women self-reported an increased desire to have sex with men.
7.  Increased desire to wear revealing clothing was prevalent.
8.  Females showed a stronger attraction to men deemed healthy and masculine.

Source: Beall, A. T., & Tracy, J. L. (In Press). Women more likely to wear red or pink at peak fertility. Psychological Science.

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Is It Over for 40+ Women to Remarry? 246 Views 06/23/13

Is it over for 40 plus year old women to remarry?  Maybe not over, but the research isn't bright.  Half of all marriages have already ended in divorce.  According to the National Center for Family & Marriage Research, the remarriage outlook is bleak--especially for women.  Using U.S. Census data, they reported the following:

1. Women by far will marry less than men after a divorce.
2. The less education a person has, the less likely chance of them remarrying.  Men, by approximately 2 to 1, are still more likely to remarry than women across educational categories.
3.  White women followed by Black women are the least likely to remarry.  Hispanic followed by Asian women have the best chances of remarrying.
4.  The older you get the worse it gets.  Women 46-64 have a 19 in 1000 chance of remarrying while women 65 and older only 2 in 1000.  Men are 62% and 143% more likely to remarry than women at these ages, respectively.

Source: National Center for Family & Marriage Research. (2012). Remarriage Rate in the U.S., FP-12-14.

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What Creates Chemistry? 156 Views 06/19/13

Ever wonder what creates chemistry--that magic moment when both of you feel the sparks of love and your heart goes pitter-patter?  Well, there is a research answer to that.

Peretti and Abplanalp did a study with 396 male and female college students using open-ended questionnaires from first dates that felt chemistry.  From that information six areas came to the forefront defining that elusive magic.

--physical attractiveness (did they find them attractive?)
--similarity (to themselves in race, religion, interests, etc.)
--spontaneous communication (communication flowed easily)
--reciprocity (give and take that develops trust and intimacy)
--warm personality (caring, sharing, helping, friendly)
--longing (not wanting the date to end)



Source: Peretti, P. O., & Abplanalp, R. R. (2004). Chemistry in the  college dating process: Structure and function. Social Behavior and Personality: an international journal, 32(2), 147-154.

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Materialism 123 Views 06/21/13

"Ma·te·ri·al·ism: preoccupation with or emphasis on material objects, comforts, and considerations" 

 

You know who they are.  They flaunt their possessions, luxuries, and things they have acquired.  Once they have possessions they seek even more in an endless thirst for even more material goods and bragging rights.  They want the latest gadgets, nice cars, big houses, fine dining, and more, more, more.  They have become slaves to the very things they obtained.  But do you really know them?  A review of the literature by Christopher, Saliba, and Deadmarsh have shown that materialistic people "possess" more negatives than positives.  Citing research throughout the years, they pointed out that materialistic people:

--are less satisfied with the quality of their relationships.
--see their marriages as suffering from financial problems.
--are liked less by their peers.
--are less happy.
--rarely satisfied with their possessions and seek more.
--score negatively on well-being.
--are correlated with negative emotions.
--feel less competence, autonomy, and gratitude.
--tend to be more depressed, socially anxious, and personally insecure.
--lack life satisfaction and meaningfulness in life.
--are poor at relating to others.
--are stuck in self-defeating cycles.
--suffer from a feeling of loss of control in their lives.

It reminds me of the John Ruskin quote, “Every increased possession loads us with new weariness.”


Source: Christopher, A. N., Saliba, L., & Deadmarsh, E. J. (2009). Materialism and well-being: The mediating effect of locus of control. Personality and individual differences, 46(7), 682-686.

 

 

 

 

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Lonely Online 113 Views 06/20/13

Loneliness have been reported as high as 80% in individual age groups with those under 18 and the elderly reporting the highest numbers.

The implications of loneliness are huge.  Some of the research has shown that the consequences of loneliness include:

- reduced lifespan
- accelerated psychological aging
- risk of Alzheimer’s disease
- suicidal thoughts
- stress, fear, anxiety, depression, and anger
- reduced IQ, sleep, and self-esteem
- health problems (i.e., obesity, high blood pressure, heart risk, reduced immunity, etc.)
- dependencies (e.g., alcohol, drugs, etc.)

The list goes on and on.  Loneliness is associated higher with divorce, widows, higher  education, higher income, poor marital quality, and many more areas.  Suffice it to say loneliness is a huge negative with no positive reported in research that I can find.

Work by Ccioppo, Fowler, and Christakis, for the National Institute of Health, looked at loneliness in social networks.  What they found was interesting and alarming for understanding loneliness:

1.  Loneliness is associated with how much (or less) both genders interact with a woman each day.  Everybody needs a woman it seems.
2.  Social networks help to spread happiness.
3.  Lonely people are linked to lonely people up to 3 degrees of separation (friends’ friends’ friend). Misery loves company.
4.  Lonely people tend to make non-lonely people lonely and they spread it like a contagion online.
5.  Women are more prone to the spread of loneliness than men.
6.  Removing lonely people from your network helps reduce loneliness.
7.  Loneliness spread quicker with friends than family members.

In essence, the results show it is important to have good friends and family in your social networks (online or in-person).  Such connections make for reducing loneliness and increasing happiness.

Take heed to what Mother Teresa said: "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty."


Source: Cacioppo, J. T., Fowler, J. H., & Christakis, N. A. (2009). Alone in the crowd: The structure and spread of loneliness in a large social network. Journal of personality and social psychology, 97(6), 977.

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Predicting If She Will Sleep With You 208 Views 06/17/13

Christian Rudder does some of the most interesting studies on earth. With access to a huge database of 275,294 individuals who have answered millions of questions, he looked at sex on a first date.  On the site, it allows individuals to answer thousands of unusual and ethics-based questions to see if you are a match with others who answer similar questions.  Some of the questions, for example are:

Could you imagine yourself killing someone?
Should burning your country's flag be illegal?
Do spelling and grammar mistakes annoy you?

What Rudder did in this study is to see which non-sexual questions correlated with a sex-based question.  What he found out was quite interesting.

Will my date have sex on the first date?...
The #1 correlated question is "Do you like the taste of beer?"  Those that liked the taste of beer were 60% more likely to be okay with sleeping with someone they've just met (for both men and women). This is the only question with a meaningful correlation for women.

 

Source: Rudder, C. (2011). The Best Questions for a First Date. OKTrends.

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13 Ways To Get a Woman's Phone Number 8 Views 06/16/13

As a follow-up to my previous blog I thought I'd focus this on the work of Nicolas Gueguen, a French Psychologist who has done numerous studies on getting a woman's phone number.

Below is a synopsis of his work:

1.  The chances of getting a woman's phone number while she is on her period is only 7.8% but when off her period and in her most fertile stage it jumped to 21.7%.

2.  A total of 52.2% of women gave their phone number to a man if they heard romantic song lyrics prior to the man approaching her.  Neutral song lyrics garnered 27.9%. (Note: this was a lab vs. street experiment which accounts for the higher percentage.)

3.  If a man had a dog with him the woman gave her phone number 28.3% of the time.  Without a dog he got the number 9.2% of the time.

4.  If a woman's forearm was touched first, she gave her number 19.2% of the time.  Without touch her arm it was 10% of the time.

5. A man dressed as a firefighter obtained a woman's phone number 21.7% of the time but dressed as a civilian he only got the number 8.3%.

6. Asking for directions from a woman prior to asking her to have a drink with him got a "yes" 15.8% of the time.  Asking a woman to have a drink with him without asking for directions first got a "yes" only 3.3% of the time. (Note: this experiment didn't ask for a phone number).

In the following Gueguen studies, I don't have the actual numbers since it would cost to download it and is not available in my university library. However, information was gleaned from the journal abstract.

7. When approaching a woman for her phone number by either a flower shop, a cake shop, or a women's shoes shop, the flower shop was more likely to result in success.

8. Eye contact vs. glancing away was more likely to get a woman's phone number.

9.  Complimenting a woman prior to asking her phone number got significantly greater compliances than just asking directly.

10.  Women were more likely to give their phone number on sunny days compared to cloudy days.

11. Women were 3 times more likely to give their number to an unknown man if they overheard him tell a joke compared to  no joke.

12.  When women perceived a man as having higher financial income, she was more likely to give out her phone number.

13.  When women were exposed to an "ambient fragrance" (e.g., baked goods), women were 2/3 more likely to give out their phone number than with no fragrance effect.


Source: Nicolas Guéguen via Google Scholar

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13 (Researchered-based) Ways to PIck-up Women 19 Views 06/15/13

As a follow-up to my previous blog I thought I'd focus on the work of Nicolas Gueguen, a French Psychologist who has done numerous studies on getting a woman's phone number. In each of the experiments the actor said the following:

‘‘Hello. My name’s Antoine. I just want to say that I think you’re really pretty. I have to go to work this afternoon but I wonder if you would give me your phone number. I’ll phone you later and we can have a drink together someplace.’’

Below is a synopsis of his findings:

1.  The chances of getting a woman's phone number while she is on her period is only 7.8% but when off her period and in her most fertile stage it jumps to 21.7%.

2.  A total of 52.2% of women gave their phone number to a man if they heard romantic song lyrics prior to the man approaching her.  Neutral song lyrics garnered 27.9%.

3.  If a man had a dog with him the woman gave her phone number 28.3% of the time.  Without a dog he got the number 9.2% of the time.

4.  If a woman's forearm was touched first, she gave her number 19.2% of the time.  Without touch it was 10% of the time.

5. A man dressed as a firefighter obtained a woman's phone number 21.7% of the time but dressed as a civilian he only got the number 8.3%.

6. Asking for directions from a woman prior to asking her to have a drink with him got a "yes" 15.8% of the time.  Asking a woman to have a drink with him without asking for directions first got a "yes" only 3.3% of the time.

In the following Gueguen studies, I don't have the actual numbers since it would cost to download it and is not available in my university library. Information was gotten from abstracts.

7. When approaching a woman for her phone number by either a flower shop, a cake shop, or a women's shoes shop, the flower shop was more likely to result in success.

8. Eye contact vs. glancing away was more likely to get a woman's phone number.

9.  Complimenting a woman prior to asking her phone number got significantly greater compliances than just asking directly.

10.  Women were more likely to give their phone number on sunny days compared to cloudy days.

11. Women were 3 times more likely to give their number to an unknown man if they overheard him tell a joke than if no joke was heard.

12.  When women perceive a man with a higher financial income, she is more likely to give out her phone number.

13.  When women were exposed to an "ambient fragrance" (e.g., baked goods), women were 2/3 more likely to give out their phone number than with no fragrance effect.

 

Source: Google Scholar and University library.  All studies led by Nicolas Guéguen.

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Picking Up Women With Guitar Cases 387 Views 06/13/13

Gueguen has done some interesting experiments in the past relating to getting a woman's phone number.  For instance, he has found that women are more likely to hand over their phone number to an unknown man if:

--He gets out of an expensive car vs cheap car
--He's wearing a firefighter's outfit
--He touches her forearm before asking for the number

In his most recent experiment he assessed the chances of getting a woman's phone number if the man was carrying something.  In his experiment the guy either had nothing, carried a sport bag, or carried a guitar case.  The actor was told to approach random women and say the following:

"Hello. My name’s Antoine. I just want to say that I think you’re really pretty. I have to go to work this afternoon, and I was wondering if you would give me your phone number. I’ll phone you later and we can have a drink together someplace."

The results of the experiment found:
--Holding nothing got a woman's number 14% of the time.
--Holding a sports bag only got a woman's number 9% of the time.
--Holding a guitar case got a woman's number 31% of the time.

It appears the mystical, romantic image of the musician had a pretty powerful effect.

   
Source: Guéguen, N., Meineri, S., & Fischer-Lokou, J. (2013). Men’s music ability and attractiveness to women in a real-life courtship context. Psychology of Music.

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Happily Married Online 142 Views 06/10/13

Finally, some good news in the online dating research world--a world that typically is rather negative about online dating.  Five scholars from Harvard and the University of Chicago did a study on marital satisfaction and online dating.  It turns out those who met online were "slightly" happier than those who met offline. 

Now, before you get too excited, the study was funded by eHarmony.com. Yet, it was published in a top research journal.  eHarmony, to their credit, signed an agreement to allow publication even if they did not like the results.

There were 19,131 people in the sample who were married between 2005 and 2012. [Note: this is the weakness of the study, in my opinion, since they are newly married.]

Here are the key findings:

--35 percent of relationships began online.
--92 percent of all of the couples were still married.
--45 percent of those who met online did so through a dating site; others were through social networks, Web forums, video games, or other virtual chats.
--The most popular dating sites are eHarmony (25 percent) and Match (24 percent).
--“Males, 30- to 49-year-olds, Hispanics, individuals from higher socioeconomic status brackets, and working respondents” were more likely to report meeting their spouse online.
--The happiest married couples who met offline were those who grew up together, or met at school, church, or social gatherings.
--The least happy married couples met through work, family, bars, and blind dates.
--Online couples separated at a rate of nearly 6 percent, while for couples who met offline it was 7.67 percent
--On a scale of 1 (“Extremely Unhappy”) to 7 (“Perfect”), online relationships averaged 5.64 and offline relationships averaged 5.48.



Source:  Cacioppo, J. T., Cacioppo, S., Gonzaga, G. C., Ogburn, E. L., & VanderWeele, T. J. (2013). Marital satisfaction and break-ups differ across on-line and off-line meeting venues. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

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Why There Is No Such Thing As A Female 215 Views 06/07/13

I have long believed there was no such thing as a male friend for a woman.  Rather, he was just a boyfriend in waiting.  Now there is current research to prove just that.

 

The study found that men who have female friends were motivated by sexual attraction.  Women, on the other hand, were clueless of this attraction and perceived their male friend platonically.  

The authors took 88 pairs of "friends" and had each fill out a confidential survey on attraction.  These "friendships" averaged about 2 years in length. The authors consistently found that "men reported more attraction to their female friends than women did to their male friends." The study even looked at men and women who were in a relationship with another person.  Again, men were still attracted to their female "friend" and repeatedly the female "friend" was unaware of the attraction. As the authors point out men had an, "attraction to (and desire to date) their friend regardless of their own current romantic involvement or their friend’s current romantic involvement." In essence, women were fooling themselves that their male "friend" really just wanted to be "friends."

It reminds me of the movie When Harry Met Sally, in which Harry, played by Billy Crystal, tells Meg Ryan's character Sally: "Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."

 

 

 

  Source: Bleske-Rechek, A., Somers, E., Micke, C., Erickson, L., Matteson, L., Stocco, C., ... & Ritchie, L. (2012). Benefit or burden? Attraction in cross-sex friendship. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 29(5), 569-596.

 

 

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Quiz: Is He Just Not Into You? 177 Views 06/06/13

Here are a series of questions for women to ask themselves.  It was gleaned from books and articles to determine if a guy is into you or not.  Be honest with yourself and your answers.

1. Does he take a long time to text or email you back?
2. Is he physically and emotionally distant?
3. Does he spend quality time with you (not just sex)?
4. Does he fail to show public display of affection?
5. Does he find excuses not to see you?
6. Is his ex a little too much a part of his conversation?
7. Are talks about "relationships" non-existent?
8. Are you stuck on an endless text, email, or phone cycle without a date or the dates are few and far between?
9. Does he only want to make you his therapist to dump his problems?
10. Does his behavior come off more self-centered than other-centered?
11. Do you feel disrespected by him?
12. Would you say he is afraid of commitment?
13. Have you noticed you haven't regularly met his friend and family?
14. Does he not call you back or text you the same day (or in a timely manner)?
15.  Generally, does he forget dates and events important to you?
16.  Have you gotten the silent treatment?

If you can answer 50% or more of the questions YES, there is a good sign he just isn't into you.

Sources: Psychology Today; He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrednt and Liz Tuccillo; Signs that Say He's Just Not into You by Zuri Eberhart.

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Are Beautiful Women A Drug? 245 Views 06/03/13

A beautiful woman's face has an effect on men's brain similar to cocaine according to six Harvard University researchers who analyzed men's brains using an MRI.  The men, primarily in their 20s and 30s, looked at photos of both men and women, beautiful and average.  They rated the photos from 1 = Not Very Attractive to 7 = Very Attractive. Only photos of women categorized as beautiful set off the "reward centers" in these male heterosexual brains.  This reward center is associated with the "drug reward" part of the brain leading some to suggest beautiful women have an addictive effect. Unattractive to average looking women, unfortunately, showed no significant changes in the male brain. 

In a second phase of the study, men in another group were allowed to control how long they viewed a particular face by pressing computer keys. The researchers found that men "expended effort" to see the beautiful female faces for a longer time, but for all other faces, irrespective of gender, they tried only to "make the faces disappear faster."


Source: Aharon, I., Etcoff, N., Ariely, D., Chabris, C. F., O'Connor, E., & Breiter, H. C. (2001). Beautiful faces have variable reward value: fMRI and behavioral evidence. Neuron, 32(3), 537-551.

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