What do ya'll think? Fortunately, I've always been told I'm cute or look nice, but it wasn't until I began to self-actualize and come into my own...feel joyful and peace with who I am, confident in my own skin that I was called sexy!!! In my opinion, it is a state of being...confidence that makes one sexy. What say you?
Okay, ladies and gents, here's the spill...I met a seemingly nice guy. He doesn't live too far away, so I'm going to go meet him. I know the dating rules have changed, so is it okay for me to travel there, without asking for financial help from him, since its not too far from me? What if it was far, is he supposed to send for me? We made it clear that I was not looking for a Sugar Daddy, although he is substantially wealthy. He even convinced me to google him. :)
Who pays for the trip these days? And what do I do to make sure I'll be safe? Can I bring my adult son to the initial meeting or is that too cheesy? We've chatted on-line and on the phone and he seems like a DREAM! But I don't want this to turn into a NIGHTMARE! What type of precautions do I take? I'm excited, pensive, and overwhelmed all at the same time. Can you help a sista out? We are going to dinner, wine-tasting and he said we can splash around in the jacuzzi if I'm comfortable...I might leave that one out, cause he's fascinated with my bootie! umm, can you say chocolate & vanilla SWIRL?! Hee Hee! But I'm afraid the gluteus maximus might spill outta my swim suit and then we'll BOTH be in trouble. Hee Hee! HELLLP!!!
Soooo, I went out to a nice restaurant with a good-looking brotha. Ummm Hmmm! Met him on the dance flo' at a club, at a mutual friend's birthday party, the week prior. Who says you can't meet a brotha at a club? Turns out that he's a bit...um, how you say it in American??? SHORT! Well, okay, I'll be nice...vertically challenged! Anyhoo, he's classy, well-established...okay, okay, he's got BANK, so when he asked me out to this swanky, danky restaurant, I was obliged! Ummm Hmmm, picked Momma up in his nice BMW; sported his nice jeans and button-down shirt and Armani sunglasses...watch out now! Momma was gettin' excited! Suddenly, his height didn't bother me as much. I know, I know, I'm wrong, but hey, humor me...follow along with the story. AnTyways, as we ordered, the waitress asks me kindly, "Miss, how do you like your coffee?" Before I could think about it, I spatted out, "HOT, DARK and STRRRRRONG..Just like I like my MEN!!!" Momma made ole boy blush and he could barely get out his order. I know, I know, I'm a bit much. Don't be mad at Momma, mmmk? Go ahead, tell me, how you like YOUR COFFEE? Hee Hee!
Sooo, um,I told my children that I'm on this site, to find or stumble on LOVE. Hey, they're grown, they can handle it..right? LOL! Sooo, anyhoo, my eldest 22 yr old says, "Momma, you sure you've gotten all the play out of your system? Need I remind you of your escapades this summer?" Hee Hee! Okay, I'll admit, after my divorce 2 years ago, I went a lil balistic and started dating babies, I mean men in their 20s. See, what had happened wassss, I wasn't feeling sexy, because my ex belittled me. I had lost my swag. Well, I started working out, feeling GREAT and the young men started following me OUT of the gym. What was I supposed to do, turn them down? Now, that wouldn't be very nice, now would it. Sooo, I well, "dated" them. Hey, don't judge me! I repented and I'm changing. AnTyways, the latest was a 20-something, bright-complected, wavy heaired, 6ft, BEAUTIFUL foot-ball star. Bad Kia! (Slapping my own hand). He came over for a movie and snacks. He said, "Momma (yes, I had my babies call me Momma), please tell me why you like me. You are so lovely and sexy, I just HAD to spend time with you. Please Momma, what do you like about me?" I purched on the couch, as only a TRUE Cougar would, straddled him, grabbed him by his collar, looked him in his deep brown eyes, sniffed his cologne-splashed neckline, and then whispered gently in his ear....."Boy, you're a sight to see, kinda something like ME!" Daaaang, Momma!!! Hee Hee! So, you see why my sons wonder if I'm serious? I can't even tell you why I went through those experiences, except I wanted to feel sexy again. My sons were a bit taken aback until they realized & overheard that their mom was a M.I.L.F.! What the heck! That kinda made me wanna change right there. :) Anyhoo, i did..I exposed those young men I "dated" to theaters, fine-dining, stimulating conversations, lectures..the finer things in life. And they...well...you don't need to know about all that. Hee Hee Hee! Yes, this player-ette has changed. I'm ready. I felt I had to get that out of my system. I know..it was wrong. Why do some of us in mid-life do such things. I'onno. Maybe you guys can enlighten me. I promise I won't slip into my old habits...but I'm truly ready for REAL love now. :) Really, I am, and that's what I assured my son. He said, "well, you've lived your life for us Ma and made many sacrifices, DO YOU!" ;)
Okay, I know it might not be politically correct, but um, we're grown, so Imma let her rip! Now, we all know that when I say Shaquanda or Laquisha, I'm talking about an ethnic sista, right? Hee Hee. I just wanted to grab your attention. But anyhoo, a Frenchman from a match-making service calls me to chat and see if we can meet for drinks. Now, I was totally flattered that a Frenchman called me because I've heard the stories about how romantic they are. I know, I know...I'm stereotyping. Hey, don't judge me! LOL! Sooo, in mid conversation, he eagerly asks me, "Sooo, do you have a big BUTT?!" Lol! Now, my girlfriends think I should have been offended. I wasn't!!! I thought he was brave enough to ask what others think. He gets points for that, although I did not OUTRIGHT answer. I just said, "Hmm, I'm Black + Latina (Blacktina), you do the math." And we fell out laughing!!! So, you guys, what do you think about people asking you those types of questions? Are they offensive? I hung out with a friend who was a caucasian guy and he asked to touch my hair. I was glad he did, because honestly, I wanted to touch his. We touched each other's hair and skin, just to explore what we had been taught was wrong and we smiled and said, hey, it wasn't that bad, after all! Okay, I'll tell ya'll a lil secret too. Lean forward...when no one was looking, we SMOOCHED! It was sooo fun...like we were sneaking. We laughed about it and let it be our secret. ;) Truly, I've even secretly wondered if men with big feet...well, ya'll know the rest. :) What do ya'll think? I know, I'm a lil off the hook..off the hinges, of sorts. Excuse me. ;)
Here I go on my soap box, but um, I gotta say it. So, I'm a 41 year old, educated African American woman (with a lil Latino flavor..okay, Grammy was mexican) and I'm finding it difficult to find a quality mate. In my community, the numbers are stacked against me. We outnumber our black men 7 to 1 and when we factor in those who 1) are in prison 2) are homosexual 3) are without a high school diploma, it looks pretty dismal for me. My black male friends find me "amazing" but also say my qualifications can be "intimidating." This hurts, because dont' I deserve love too? And those who express interest, keep me on hold as wifey material while they whore around with the loose, desperate women. :( Uggh! This is why I'm open to dating outside my race. I want and deserve love, committment and marriage from a man who values what I have to offer and what I bring to the table.
Have you guys dated outside of your race? What is it like? Why do some choose not to date outside the race? By the way, we call that "down with the swirl" ..the mixture of chocolate (black) and vanilla (white) and what's with these successful black men who prefer anything but a black woman? Even the white men want anything but a black woman? What's up with that? Umm, I don't bite. I want a man, too! Daaaang! Help!!!! LOL