Blogs for Tinkerbelle.

Tinks Tuck and Tatoo Parlour

03-JUN-11

Roll up Roll up the date is set... the hour is nigh! the toors of the 3 Ts parlour are now Officially open!

Its taken me awhile to formulate the exact services we will be offering but here follows a list and judging by my own results im expecting a rush through the doors today.

However I do need staff. The positions vacant are as follows

1] A state registered butt lifter

2] A lip plumper

3] a boob feeler and tester [ must be state recognised with plenty of experience]

4] A tatoo artiste who must be able to spell the words mother and death correctly

5] an underarm hair measurer

6] A toenail collector

7] A supplier of quality insulation and sound proofing for the waxroom

8] A well trained masseuse, willing and able to give extras

9] a naked bertender [ well, it is a Tink establishment]

10] Anyone who was a member of T&Gs bar and Grill

Ive been nipped tucked, waxed lifted and generally made over I look 20 years younger and nothing like my former self. My pain thresholds have plumeted and I officially have no money left so , roll up roll up the 3 Ts need YOU!

I feel though that in this economic climate we also need a marketing strategist and a big beefy bouncer to keep out undesirables.

Undesirables please note... you may use the side entrance after hours.

A nip and a tuck......should we?

05-APR-11

Bloggers , I have allways felt that any kind of enhancement to ones person can only be a good thing. Its a self esteem issue I feel. After all whats the harm. From the most innocent fake bake to the full blown real deal we all want to look our best ....no? If having your hair coloured, nails done , whatever makes the sun shine brighter in your world makes it good for you, then why the hell not? How far do we take it though, and in doing so does it make us a Narcissus? or part of the Narcissus syndrome. Is it acceptable to go on a diet but not to have a nose job? Does a boob job and a face lift make us stupid and shallow or is it ok to do both to enhance and ergo 'improve' on what we have? Or would some say ruin what we have. Was Michael Jackson's enhancement acceptable or not. Some may have agreed he had gone too far , beauty being in the eye of the beholder and all that. However does it have anything to do with the rest of us as long as he was happy I suppose it depends on who does the work and whether the clients expectations were fullfilled. Whether the practicioner is good at what he or she does also plays a part. Im sure there have been many whos higher ambitions for themselves have been thwarted because their vision exceeded the skills of the practicioner. Lord knows Hollywood has turned out more than a few disasters . However in the main I say... go for it. Im all for the artificial woman. I celebrate her and him! Hell I havent been a natural for over 30 years!!! I cant remember what its like to not colour my hair. Does mouse seem sexy to you? NOOOOO it doesnt , so I change it in the same way many women and men also change theirs If it came to the crunch , would I have a face lift , hell YES and anything else I could get my hands on! I had a client come to see me the other day who was 100% artificial. A living work of art. She had had it ALL done. She had been lifted, sculpted ,plumped , liposucted Dyed filed and very probably rodgered as well. She looked amazing , and as she stood there in the most amazing evening gown telling me about was her latest piece of work involving her body , I couldnt help but admire her. Some would no doubt say it was vanity gone mad, but you know what ....I dont think so. She has created the dream she had of herself and I say thats great and why not. Before you all strt screaming and telling me you all want to be natural beauties and want to grow old gracefully [BARF], what about the men. Is it ok ?... or not. Would we women be happy to accept a partner who , lets say for arguments sake, had a facelift? or a stomach reduction, Do you think it reflects on his masculinity? or does that man have the right to be the best he can be in his own eyes? and in turn be able to attract a quality mate because of it Over to you bloggers , over to you

A question of manners

11-OCT-10

bloggers . Much today is written about the character traits in humans that are lacking. See Timberoos blogs and recently one from Molly. What is happening within a society where even the most simple considerations are missing. How many times when you walk down the street and you are jostled does anyone say excuse me im sorry? There was a time when we were all respectful of the space of others. We were mindful of the position and situation of others , each weaving their own thread into the tapestry of life as we know it. Mingling and interacting together . Now it seems to be a bun fight. No one cares whos toes they tread on, whos feelings they hurt. Common courtesy has all but flown out of the window and cruelty rules in day to day life, Much has been written about the dumbing down of society. We see it in the sad demise of the written word. Could you have imagined a world a few years ago without prose and sonnets, a world where men like Petrarch wrote of his love and longing for Laura over a span of twenty years expressing his yearning in a way too beautiful to contemplate. In todays throw away cyber dominated environment the writings of said Petrarch would have been condensed into a text saying i think u r gr8. c u ltr? Nobody telephones anymore. It seems we have once removed ourselves from normal interaction preferring to text or e mail. I hosted a lunch for friends yesterday and I had gone to a great deal of trouble to do so. My guests were due to arrive at 1.30 , but at 10am i got a text from one couple who cancelled last minute. I was incensed. What happened to a phone call? I find the text so impersonal, dismissive somehow. I wouldnt dream of cancelling an arrangement without speaking to those involved personally. Have we become so lacking in social skills and abitities that we cant string a few words together face to face? Its sad bloggers it really is. Even this morning i had a text from a man who would like to take me to lunch. Another text. I havent responded. Why isnt he calling to ask? I dont get it. Have we become so removed from each other that we can only do it from an oblique angle? what do you think

JEANS friend or foe?

01-SEP-10

Im writing about my personal feelings on jeans for my friend Gentlywoman.

The story of jeans and their transformation from being the original workwear to fashion statement has to be one of the greatest marketing strategies ever. Transforming what was a basic ugly garment into something practically every person on the planet wears is nothing short of amazing.

I suppose im a bit of a hypocrite in that Im in the fashion business both as a retailer , personal shopper and stylist and personally never wear them but I do sell them quite sucessfully, but they arent for me.

Ive allways hated them [ between you and me] I know everyone wears them but to understand why I dont you need to know this. You have to remember the way I was brought up in part to understand my position. I hate the look and feel of them. I dont feel dressed in them either and they are uncomfortable. I find that they are too short in the rise for me as I have a very long body. Yes yes ,I know that they can make the butt look good and if your legs are slim they make them look longer. I look in the mirror and dont see that . I see scruffy and feel uncomfortable.

My story is this. I was spotted as a model when I was very young in the late 70s. It was a time of high glamour in London. My father then took me to Europe and gave me a glamourous European life. I was lucky enough to have worn couture and I loved it, no actually revelled in it ! Oh the feel of the satins , silks and cashmeres. I dressed in the truest sense of the word and was rarely casual , because of the life we lived. Something that has stayed with me even today where life and lifestyles are very different. Then everyone dressed. Sure jeans were around too , flares straights embroidered , you name it, but I hated those looks too for me. My look was allways conservative but glamorous. I seem to be stuck in that groove.....LOL Im known for doing the gardening in a pair of fine wool pants and a cashmere sweater. I dont do casual or at least I find it difficult but in saying that, I dont lead a terribly casual lifestyle either, and im known for it. My friends all make fun of me and when they say come over but come casual they know to expect me in a simple black dress rather than a pair of jeans. They all laugh at me but im used to it.

I suppose in todays world where lifestyles are constantly changing and life has become so unstructured, im a bit of a dinosoar. I realise fully that there is a definite place for the jean in todays world..... lol just not in my world. The Rose is constantly telling me to get in to a pair and ive told her that when she comes here she can take me shopping. Im a glamour girl. That is my world and my life. Jeans my dear Gently dont have a place here....and im grinning as I write this because I know what you must all be thinking

So... what say all you bloggers. Are you jeans people or not? If you are are you exclusively jeans or do you ring the changes... and be honest now!

The mark of a true friend

22-AUG-10

What is it do you think that makes a good friend? In todays world , many are defined by the friendships they have made and kept. Whether they have many friends, the length of time the friendship has endured rather than the quality of the friendships themselves.

I have been called a very bad friend this week and to be honest im struggling to deal with it. Granted im not a classic type. Some may and have called me self absorbed, driven and often preoccupied. Its easy to become this way when you lead a very busy life, I seem to not manage it terribly well. Im allways running around at mach 1 for some reason. Despite my best efforts to keep in touch and love them as I do, keeping in touch with my friends and keeping up with them and their lives is becoming more and more of an uphill task. Perhaps its modern living..... perhaps its just me..... not putting enough effort in although I do try.... but either way im obviously not performing to everyones satisfaction

Im terrible at remembering dates. That includes birthdays and,anniversaries. Ive never been able to do this, lol I dont even remember my own. Im not one of these who forgets everyones special days but expects my own to be remembered. I figure that if I dont conform and remem ber to send cards for these things then I have no business expecting friends to remember mine. I usually remember eventually and when I do Ill allways send flowers or a gift together with a note of apology

Im not good at phoning once a week or even once a fortnight. I ring when I can, which I suppose is not often enough, but when I do I want to hear about everything my friend has been doing. I ask about their kids , dogs , cats families etc and im genuinely interested in what they have to say. Is there a set time for calling? I dont know. I dont get lots of time free as I am a busy employer running two companies and have a job which requires a deal of foreign travel, so when my feet touch the ground I have a million things to do. Catching up with the friends is one of them.

Im also not good at allways attending all the gatherings arranged. Im either working or im away travelling which doesnt make it easy, but if theres something going on and im here I love to attend. My friends sometimes get quite sniffy about it saying that im never here. Thats not strictly true of course . Im here some of the time and others im not... its my life, what can I do

What I am good at though is allways being there in times of crisis. The best time to catch me is early in the morning by mail or im when im checking my mails in bed or when im in the car on the way to work and those who know me and love me call me then. Its at these times when i have a few minutes to call my own I can fully function as a friend, contact wise.

If theres a problem im there 100%. I will stop whatever im doing for a friend in trouble . For me its a question of prioritising. I feel, rightly or not that if all is well in their world and im not needed then fine but when I am needed I am there. This has included in the past doing the school run, taking sick kids to the hospital in the middle of the night, having my friends kids work in the business for work experience and most important of all dropping everything and listening .....Im allways there to listen im smiling to myself here as i write this because although I like to think im this way Im actually probably not. I suppose if im brutally honest im free to listen when i have the time to listen. Im aware that im probably digging myself a big hole here, but if im to tell you the tale I might as well tell the truth or theres no point now is there?

I will be and am the person to turn to when the chips are down. When one needs to stand up and be counted. If they come to me and are in trouble I will allways come to their aid night or day and my true friends know this, and even now I think of it my acquaintances. If I say Ill do something Ill do it without fail and if I can make a difference to someones life Ill do that too, without hesitation.

I dont have lots of friends but a few . I know many people and have plenty of acquaintances but real friends to whom I can turn, only a handful. Those that I have I love dearly and it was a truly bitter blow to me when i was told that I wasnt a good enough friend and that the friendship was effectively terminated after 20 years because i forgot his birthday two years running

Am I such a bad friend do you think?

Getting it all

19-AUG-10

Ive been reading a lot lately about members saying that they wont settle. An interesting word that , settle. What does it mean?

Does it mean that they are striving to find perfection in a man?, all the boxes being ticked? I think so. My question bloggers is to say are we being realistic here?

No one has it all or do they? In my experience of life ive never managed to find perfection. I think in many cases judging by the sheer numbers of women and indeed men on dating sites too many are looking for their own kind of perfection. They cant find it in real life , so have decided to cast their nets further into the realms of cyber land to trawl for it there. I read reams of angst from members ditching potential mates for the most trivial of reasons. I realise though that what may be trivial to me may be a deal breaker for others , but nevertheless in the main the reasons for dismissal are small.

In life we all have to settle dont we? Life is about compromise isnt it? Because if its not we run the risk of being eternally disappointed. The trick is getting the most important things right and then compromising on the others. Learning to accept and live with anothers foibles and little quirks.Its the most sensible way to be. Flexibility, yes flexibility is the word, but what I see and read is intransigence.

So , when i read the words I wont settle I smile and think another one has set the bar too high. Lets get real guys.

older men ... friends or foes?

13-JUN-10

Well heres the thing. Im talking here about older men. Who they are and the baggage they seem to carry. Present company accepted, but generally this is what I have found.

I have dated many older men. When I say older .... I am 53 and I mean men in their late fifties , early sixties and this I have found to be true.

In the main , Ive found they have so much baggage its just not true. I have often thought i should go on dates wearing a bullet proof vest they have so many issues with women. So much so I wonder why they bother to date. Dont get me wrong, many have been lovely men , but have been so damaged by past bad marriages and relationships to make them almost useless. In the main I have found they are wary and sometimes bitter, having gone through the wringer in one way or another. Yes weve all been there havent we but I really do feel women are able to move on quicker and easier than some of the men.

Many I have met are at a financial disadvantage at this stage in their lives having given a fair chunk of their money , plus a property to their wives and families. Many have felt emasculated by the nature of their bad relationships and seem to suffer and continue to suffer a crippling pain that will not seem to go away.

This results in a man going one of two ways. Either hes a bitter empty vessel, unable to come to terms, quietly enraged by his current situation or hes bullish looking to bed everything in a skirt within a fifty mile radius to prove his masculinity and regain his prowess over women. This I understand as a knee jerk reaction in the short term but have found that its a downward spiral which is self perpetuating.

Often, in conversation they will pick up on pieces of it, twisting and turning it, during the date and to use it to do damage, thus reinforcing their jaundiced view of life as it is and women. They then use the classics, all women are like this , or you sound just like my ex wife. All women they say, are the same and I'll never marry again. Dont you think that's sad? I do to be so closed means nothing will ever change and the shere joy of a loving partnership will be lost forever. Have they forgotten what it means to give and share? To smile before they speak, to want to make another happy?

Honestly I would have thought, that if one has made the decision to date, its time to close the door on the past and on all the associated negativities, to step boldly forward anticipating that addictive pleasure of being happy with the person you are seeing. If you arent then what the hell is the point

I find it all unbearably sad..... and then.....[ she says smiling] one comes along who has broken the mold. One who has a world of experience, good and bad but who has managed to move on, learn his lessons and begin again, trusting to love once more, hardly being able to believe his luck, he is able to experience the unbelieveable lightmess of being that comes with finding someone to love. One can see it in his eyes, the man who is free once more. We all need to be loved , especially older men, I just wish more of them would open up to it. Life and love is out there, why not live it?

So lets give it up for older men. Let them be strong, let them break free of their emotional shackles, let them love and be loved,

What say you?

Tinks Tips

13-APR-10

Well bloggers faced with the general blogging public at the Limp I have been shocked....yes shocked bloggers by the standard of dress seen there. Obviously im not counting what is worn in the Meating room as all Fetish wear has its own rules. Apart from that , its dire and i think its time for a few fashion tips for you all. Im going to start with the women first.

1] As we get older as women, a little flesh on show is flattering, however I dont want to see two crepy boobs wobbling about in a too tight top. A little cleavage is fine but I dont want to get two black eyes when I look at you

2] Absolutely no lurex or sparkle is allowed to be worn during the day ie before 7 pm unless you are starring in a burlesque show

3] anyone over 50 should NOT be wearing skirts masquerading as hairbands

4] Funky tights in colour are for the under 20s only I dont want to see vomit coloured patterened legs EVER!

5] no muffin tops allowed at any time..... low rise pants unless you have a figure to die for [does anybody?]

6] keep high shoes with leg straps to a minimum if you have a thick ankle... nothing looks worse than short legs unless you are auditioning for Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

6] Red shoes look great on the catwalk..... the rest of us look like hookers!

7] No open toed shoes for formal occasions. Feet should be kept hidden at all costs. No toes squeezed in to too tight peep toes.. allways looks like a bag of chips to me

8] absolutely no grey or old underwear allowed!

9] i have observed some in the Meating room wearing shiny leggings. Girls!!!!! Give me a break

10] No denim allowed or cords for that matter after 6 pm......please are we on a building site?

11] Faux fur is great but keep it brushed nothing looks worse than a coat looking like minge

12] No sneakers are to be worn outside of the gym at any time.....understood?

13] Oh and while we are at it no polyester or drip dry allowed.....I want to see creases!!!!

14] anyone over 45 caught wearing a high round neck will automatically sent to prison

15] NO you may not wear t shirts with any kind of writing, faces , logos or animals printed on them!

16] The wearing of anything and I mean anything ripped will bring about an immediate disqualification to membership of the Limp Wrist Bar and Grill

17] No cardigans allowed either!

anyone got any other fashion faux pas??

Its a fashionable World

07-FEB-10

I thought I would take a moment to describe what im doing at the moment as i thought you lady bloggers might be interested.

For those who dont know me, im in the fashion business. I have been a model for most of my life although I retired the bod a couple of years ago. You know its time to quit when the job offers include posing on stairlifts for the disabled and intimate incontinence pads for women !!!!!! and at the same time have allways had fashion stores. Now its the buying season and all the collections over Europe are being shown and im going to be right there.

As we speak im just back from Berlin for the Mercedes Benz fair. Ive been to see Rena Lange a high luxe collection from Munich stunning classic clothes , using fine fabrics and a high end finish. Absolutely divine. Im home tomorrow and begin the fashion exhibitions in London , then im off to Paris , Dusseldorf and Milan.

Everyone thinks I lead a glamorous life and in one way they are right I get to be in the centre of European fashion but at the same time its just very hard work. Aside from all the glamour and hoop la which surrounds the shows, with runway defiles, parties rock stars and celebs lies the very serious business of choosing what people will wear for next year. If you think about it its a multi billion dollar business which has an impact in one way or another on every facet of our lives either directly through clothing or indirectly down to the colour of the china in your kitchen. its all been forecasted and carefully chosen by people in the fashion industry. Much has been done by the pundits recently to trivialise what it is the industry stands for but thats a mistake as we all reap the benefits from it in one way or another.

For people like me in the forefront , its a dangerous game to play. Im spending what amounts to be a small fortune on an idea. A dream, and if I get it wrong.... if I choose green and everyone wants brown..... if I buy skirts and people want pants Ive had it. Its a gamble really a gamble. I try to make informed choices, based on an informed client profile , checking trends and economics, lifestyles which are ever changing.

Style is my world, its tough and brutal because there is no room for mistakes, so when people tell me im having an easy glamourous life, they dont know the half of it. My day starts early catching the red eye out of London flying straight to Paris. We land at 10 am their time and i rush to grab a cab to get to my first show at 10.45. my appointments are backed up through the day at two hour intervals, no stopping for lunch and i dont check in to my hotel until 9pm. Im staying at the fabulous Hotel De Crillon on the Place de la Concorde which is the only bit of comfort and luxury I get on these trips. My one indulgence is a good breakfast which I love and it sets me up for the day. The evenings are long as there are events and dinners to be attended. Entertaining is important during fashionweek to cement relationships and broker deals with my manufacturers. I never get to eat before 10.30 pm bed by 1 am then a few hours sleep and im up and running again.

Before you wipe a tear from your eye bloggers [ she laughs] the upside is the sheer joy and pleasure of seeing the collections. Ive allways loved it and feel very privileged to be a part of the magical merry go round we call the collections. Oh the smell of expensive perfume which pervades the salons, the rustle of the silk as the girls swish their way down the catwalk. The glory of the colours and textures layer over layer as i handle the pieces in the showrooms. Its like Christmas a thousand times over. All waiting to be purchases to make someone look and feel fabulous. Make no mistake about it bloggers I take my job very seriously. Its a responsibility making women look and feel good.

So many are devalued in their lives or marriages, I see it all the time. They come to me, with no self confidence, not knowing what to expect or even if they should be there. Women who are in their mid lives and unsure of themselves. They come to me for clothes for special occasions, maybe a son or a daughter is getting married, or they are going to a dinner, any number of scenarios. The lack of self confidence is shocking, but we look after them and tell them they are lovely. We take them outside of their own particular box and give them a make over, and for the first time in a long time , i see them shine. Their faces say it all and its worth all the money in the world. Even the way they hold themselves changes when they feel themselves looking great. I love it. Women rock and so does fashion.

I have the best job in the world

south Africa life after Apartheid

07-JAN-10

Ive just spent a little time in South Africa and what a trip it was . Magnificent on the one hand , the game reserves , just after the rains, green and lush, the big five grazing there a few feet from our jeep Amazing! Hot air ballooning over the watering holes at sunrise which was almost a religious experience, our guide allowing us to smell the sweet air and listen to the silence high in the air and then saying ' welcome to my world' the tackiness of Sun City, a tawdry poor version of Vegas. The sheer magnificence of Table Mountain and the majesty of the azure sea of the Cape and the Cape of Good Hope. On the other hand is the grinding poverty of the shacks and shanty towns which spread outside the airports and lowlands where people live in corrugated sheds without even running water The awfulness of township tours which i found to be mawkish. I was voted down but its my opinion and im sticking to it. The rest is a different story .

I saw a country desperately trying to fulfil the promise of the post apartheid promise. where both black and white can live and work together as equals. A country of riches for sure and high new ideals but with a flawed [ in my opinion] modus operandi for doing it. This , bloggers as you can see is a purely personal view . I saw the native Africans taking their place in the commercial world , totally unprepared for it. I hear rumours of the disappointment and disilusionment and even anger of the young people. The education system having failed them as it doesnt work. They worked hard but the fundamentally flawed education system, ihas left the young ill prepared,having left school, looking to go to university without the slightest chance of getting in because the level of education hasnt been good enough . They are angry bloggers and they are right. The result is that these young people are unprepared for the demands of the modern South Africa. The whites are frustrated and sit back , watching the country slip slowly backward. I think it will take at least 3 generations for there to be a parity. Can the country wait or will the situation deteriorate like Zimbabwe without Mugabe.

I found both black and white to be really trying to make it work. Both unfailingly polite and charming. One with the benefit of life experience and education the other like babes in the wood.

Whats the answer? Only time i think but my question is does South Africa have that time?

Yuletide Greetings

24-DEC-09

well bloggers its that time of the year again . Cold winds, white snow [ for some of us] roaring log fires and turkey to eat.

From across the pond to all my friends on here I want to wish you all a very Happy Christmas. Tis the time of good cheer and thats what I wish all of you.

May all your dreams come true in the coming New Year

something to think about

06-DEC-09

Sophocles said

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Tradgedies not withstanding, I have found this to be true. How many unecessary griefs have we wittingly or¿ unwittingly¿ created?. I believe this quotation to be right on the money

I have been guilty of this many times¿ in my life. More so when i was younger Ill admit, but if im totally honest sometimes even now, much to my chagrin.

I know its difficult to admit we are not perfect but we arent and im CERTAINLY not, and I have to say that in some cases ive made myself extremely unhappy just because of the way ive handled certain situations.

I have had in the past quite a short fuse, which has been the cause of most of the problems,¿¿and there have been times when situations have presented themselves to me¿ ,and Ive just snapped, gone for the juggular and made a situation 10 times worse. For me it was allways a momentary thing but by the time i had finished the situation was fast deteriorating and i was left feeling wretched as I had given myself much unintentional grief, plus I had upset someone unnecessarily because i had acted on impulse

I have learned over the years to control my initial knee jerk reaction to certain situations and for sure it works. Its been a journey for sure. Sometimes you can see me in action here on the blogs when i read something and have an instant reaction, and maybe ill write something that would have been better not said. Life is a journey we all know that and when I look at it and think of this quotation I realise there has been much grief in my life which could have been avoided if I had acted in a different way. I suppose thats all about growing up isnt it? Some ,however never learn ...... do they

Do you?

Judgements

29-NOV-09

today i want to talk about judgement calls.

Thinking about my previous blog about modern day morality it concerns what we commonly¿know as¿the judgement call.

Difficult thing to assess and measure that isnt it. Every day we are called apon in one way and another to issue judgements on situations and people. Situations I feel being the easiest to call but people are a different story.

Think about the blogs. We are all talking together sharing ideas and opinions each making an assesment about one another, in effect judging .

I consider myself to be pretty street wise and savvy, in business i make judgements about people all the time and I have to say im not often wrong, but boy when I am Im SPECTACULARLY wrong. What is it do you think that betrays our instincts and intellect.? Why is it that with some we cant [as we say it over here] cant see the wood from the trees. Is it because sometimes we take an instant liking to someone and subsequently sweep all those nagging little doubts and signs under the carpet, hoping it will be allright, or am I¿being naieve?

My lapses are not easily explained ...... are yours? what do you think? are judgement calls easy for you? and if they are , what percentage are spot on the money?

A Question of morality

27-NOV-09

Im writing this partly in response to Viva Victorias blog¿ to which I take great exception . However it does ask us some important questions.

Is there a right time to be intimate? Does it say anything about she who gives it and he who takes it if that intimacy occurs early on?¿ Should it be seen as a giving and taking situation or rather a mutual joining together? Is there an official time limit when its ok for polite society to share such intimate delights? Is there a publication I dont know about where its written just how many dates there have to be beforehand?

Not really, its a two way street after all isnt it.

In this enlightened age we live in I do believe the old moral values are a little obsolete. I think theres no right and wrong anymore about when , where and how often you are intimate is there?.

I think it all depends on the two people concerned and the chemistry they create. Certainly i dont feel theres shame to be had for being intimate early nor does it necessarily make the woman a tramp or the man a chancer taking what he can get. Looking at it this way is a very jaundiced view of interpersonal relationships isnt it?

Im not just talking about online here although many view the online medium as being very risky , and sometimes it is but its also risky to pick up a man¿ or a¿ woman in a bar isnt it? How do you know what you are going to get?/ You dont and thats my point. Until you date¿ theres no real way of knowing.

Sometimes an early intimacy can be a wonderful and exciting thing. To make a mistake is kind of juvenile [at my age] and if i decide to be intimate its because WE that is my date and I want to. It doesnt say negative things about either of us . Its just two adults making a choice.

Regrets are for the very young and inexperienced. Most of us on here have had a lifetime of experience and know the difference between gratuitous sex and a joining together for mutual pleasure. Not dirty words these.

To say that the men are looking for sex online as a cheaper method than prostitution is insulting. To say that women are stupid enough to not know the difference is even worse.

Granted there are those online both MEN and WOMEN who are looking for quick cyber sexual gratification, and it¿is true and there are plenty but bloggers they are easy to spot and one chat and we know where they are at. If thats for you then fine, but to suggest its for all is wrong. Generally those who correspond , talk on the phone , then actually meet¿ have allready travelled a way down the line. Ground rules are¿laid down,¿confidences shared , common ground established,¿and the final seal of approval awaits when we meet to see if that magical chemistry exists. If it does, great. If you are moved to be intimate, great. no sensible adult should be pointing the moral finger. Judgement is not for us . We should leave that to a higher order.

Each to his/her own I say

What do you say?

Is age just a number.... REALLY?

02-NOV-09

Well those who know me know that on occasion I have moments when i start to think... Allways dangerous for a woman like me lol as I tend to think too deeply.

However i want to ask you this question. Does age really matter between two people? Now, before you all jump in and say noooooo of course not. Lets get real here

It seems to me that an age difference issue?depends on the ?generations and genders concerned.

For example, for my generation, it seems that men of my age are looking for women who are at least ten years younger. Traditional arm candy.,?Maybe its the age old fear of death some men have that they want younger flesh to keep them young and vigorous. I dont know perhaps you older men can answer that one

?For the women, we I think are more realistic [cougars notwithstanding] and are looking for someone a couple of years either way of their own.

Younger men seem to be less rigid lol [ok drag your minds out of the gutter!] and are more flexible when it comes to age. They seem to relish the company of women who are both younger and?older. They are generally, talking about older women,?Loving their maturity and experience. I dated a man of 38 for a while [ in my cougar phase]?and once i had come to terms with it enjoyed the experience but you know what? i still prefer to have someone of my ownish age, a few years either way. So we are able to enjoy the same things , laugh at the same jokes, have the same point of reference. Frankly theres nothing worse than hearing a song on the radio and saying God i loved that song do you remember it? only to have your partner say no, it was before my time LOLOL

so what do you think.... Does it matter? is it in the mind or are we better to stay within our own generation?

The IM second part it only gets worse.....

05-NOV-09

Morning bloggers today im continuing to write about the im. Theres a second part to the tale i told you earlier. The member who wants to set me up with his father continues to contact me whenever i log on. No I havent blocked him I wanted to see just how far he would go.

Actually farther and farther is the answer.

To tell the tale i was talking to The Rose as I do every morning we take tea together and hey presto this member popped up. I had allready discussed this situation with her as she had also been contacted , so we decided to set him up. We both talked to him at the same time and what transpired was hysterical.

Apart from him constantly calling me mother lol you remember he wanted me to marry his father and be his lover to carve up the fathers money, He was also setting up Vicki for the same reason. The plan as it transpired was to fly us both to Cal in December so the father could choose between us. His ultimate goal was to have control of the father through us thus getting his hands on the money then enter into a polygamous life with 2 or 3 wives. LOL you couldnt make it up could you?? What amazed me was the sheer arrogance of the man actually thinking anyone would accept this bizarre plan.

HOLY COW for a moment i thought i was talking to VL !!!!!!

Ill bet you are asking yourselves whats in it for us????? lol apparently we were to be regularly serviced by him . YIPPEE !!! how lucky would we be!!!! All I can say is, he must be one hell of a lover

I confronted him and he lied obviously......Vicki and I were laughing and then he became aggressive very aggressive.... so Ive blocked him and im forwarding the transcripts of our chats to MM.

Bloggers be careful out there. This man wasnt clever he showed his hand early and was quite clear about what he wanted so the decision was either yes or no. Many others are much more sophisticated and you dont know youve been caught till you cant get away.

This member is Indian in the hotel business currently spending time in Vegas, He does not have a photo posted.

Be careful out there guys and allways have a buddy to tell what you are doing. Two heads are better than one. OUT these guys people OUT them

online dating part two the IM

27-OCT-09

Bloggers you are going to love this. I had to share with you this mornings fun on the im. Im still laughing about it. However theres a serious side to remember and im chilled to the bone to see exactly what type of person we have on here.

However on with the fun

A young man contacted me and started to chat he was 40. Told me he was looking for the perfect situation. I was intrigued and asked him to continue. This is the story

He was married? spending a lot of time in the US his father recently widdowed had taken up with a lady he described as a gold digger. He was scoping me out for the father! The deal would be for me to marry the father and be?the young mans?lover and to?make sure he inherited his rightful share of the $15million fortune his father would have left. His reasoning was that by having me as his lover he could totally trust me to deliver his inheritance.

I thought he was joking but quickly realised he was deadly serious so?the smile on my lips faded.? The sheer audacity of the plan made me sick and my feelings ?quickly turned to disgust at the thought of his father being manipulated , set up and cheated on by his avaricious young son.

God you couldnt make it up could you?

The tragic thing is that someone somewhere would probably do it and a thoroughly decent man probably is going to get shafted by both his wife and his son

What do we think of this bloggers?

Im shocked and disgusted?, but more to the point exactly where on my profile does it say all lunatics , perverts , scammers and gold diggers walk this way? LMAO

Any ideas anyone?

Gambling .....should we?

25-JUN-09

Bloggers we come to the point in the year which is called the English season. Socially those who are , that is those who are in the know participate in the grand tradition of the season. Last week was Royal Ascot. I was there and what¿a spectacle¿it was......the great and the good, the Aristocracy headed by the Queen, the wannabees the celebs the upwardly mobile they were all there for the racefest of the year. We wore our hats , we dressed, spectacularly ,¿we curtsied to the Queen we drank ate and were merry. We also gambled. Hundreds of thousands of pounds on what? The turn of a dice, a game of chance? a slight of ¿hand? No the sport of Kings. Horseracing.

As i watched i was fascinated. All of life was there socially right across the spectrum and the common denominator was the gambling. It was a bit like the lottery up close. People betting on a dream and most were disappointed. We were all hooked. Caught up in the euphoria of the day, the moment all wanting our winner to come home . All looking for the big win.

The betting begins. Frantic¿is the rush to give away the money. the odds shorten but no one cares Money changes hands over and over again. Eyes shine with expectation. The betting slips limp in hot sweathy hands

¿The race is announced and the frenzy begins. Many looking at the pundits recommendations, others betting on names or the colour of the jockeys brightly coloured shirts. Whatever...... bets are on. Some placing small tokens others betting thousands.T he horses assemble at the start . There is an expectant hush. The horses fret and stamp. Mouths foaming at the bit, expectation sits heavy with the jockeys.... a lot¿is riding on this its the Gold Cup.¿Eager to begin, frustrated by going into the start boxes. The crowd is expectant . The horses snort and sweat , the crowd tenses and then.... finally they are OFF. you can smell the earth in the turf the sweet smell of leather and hoof oil. The sun shines on the slinky coats of the animals , groomed to perfection. The sound of the hoofs thundering on the dry ground begins as a distant thrum and increases like the beat of an expectant drum thundering on louder and louder as they approach. The croud murmers then increases the clamour. Mr and Mrs Joe Regular with their hard earned money at stake begin cheering. The cheering becomes shreiking and a kind of mass hysterior breaks out. The horses thundering by the winning post nears. You can see the whites of the horses eyes as they are encouraged on by a flick of the riders whip.

Foam spillsfrom their bits and the crowd roars. The winning line is there and you can see the top hats enter the air . Jubilation for the winners , crushed disappointment to the losers, some having bet money they could ill afford to lose. Aah a day at the races ! What joy what jubilation, but what bloggers is the story of the losers. Losers there were and plenty of them. Many crushed by defeat drinking more alcohol to cover their disappointment.

¿Could they afford to bet what they had lost. Judging by the look on their faces I would say no. So what is it bloggers that makes people enter into this temporary madness. Are we all gamblers in life or not? I like to think im not. Im not a risk taker and although i like the races i hate to lose money. Would i bet all I had on a horse > NO .

People do though dont they. What is it that makes them think they can beat the odds? What is it that makes some take incredible risks? I dont know.... do you?

Ticking the boxes

10-MAY-09

Im still thinking about the dynamics of dating, about the differences between our hopes wants and needs. In the vernacular we now seem to describe this as ticking the boxes.

Is it true that we all have a subconscious list? Are there boxes to be ticked? If there are how in depth does this list have to be and what percentage have to be ticked to continue to the next level or date?

I didnt realise I had this list until yesterday. I met someone new. He was keen, a nice man he was trying hard. BUT... and it is a big but...... and thats when i realised that my boxes werent being ticked. Not all of them anyway. The main ones werent anyway. The shock was , I didnt realise i had any lol. Am I naieve? yes probably, and now I have the task this morning of trying to explain this without hurting a nice mans feelings.

So now Im interested bloggers Do we all have these boxes ? and do they all have to be ticked for a connection or relationship to develop?? How much can we overlook and still continue??

Adversity

20-APR-09

We live in troubled times bloggers, and one way and another we are all going to experience some kind of troubled times. Some may be going through it now others have it coming , but bloggers coming it is.

I found a quote the other day from Calvett who says

'if we study the lives of great men and women carefully and unemotionally we find that invariably greatness was developed tested and revealed through the darker periods of their lives. One of the greater tributaries of the river of greatness, is allways the stream of adversity'

I have found this to be true myself. I have found that when things are at their worst , I am at my absolute best. I dont know whether its an adrenalin kick in, whether fear makes us more inspirational, more hard working, but it does work.it really does. I seem to function on another level when things are against me.

I suppose we could argue that its not about¿ abilities but more to do with situations, or luck or opportunities. Perhaps it is, or perhaps it is¿¿not. Do you think we need adversity to give us the impetus to succeed? Do we need a rougher road to get there?¿ ¿Is it the same?..... or should i ask if you think we achieve the same degree of success if it comes to us easier?

Does it work for you do you think? are we all the same? Is adversity the reason you are able to triumph or is it the opposite? What do you think bloggers? Can you cope in adversity or do you struggle?

Is the best success achieved through adversity?

The Land of the Rising Sun

16-APR-09

Well bloggers Im back from the land of the Rising Sun. How intriguing it was and not at all what i expected.

Its a land torn between the juxtaposition of its feudal past, a land steeped in ancient tradition and ritual and its modern day technical mastery.

In a land which has such history , such technical wisardryI was shocked to find how few could speak English, Everyday I was thanking God I can speak some Japanese, how even in their modern day techno world they still adhere to the old values of a past we are all familiar with.

I saw a land rich in colour, devout, whether it be a leaning to Budhism and shintoism. A people striving for a future but firmly bound to the past.

It was confusing. On the one hand Tokyo is bidding for the 2012 Olympics, wanting to take its place with the rest of the world, but its a city and land even which in some ways is totally unprepared for it,a land in which even the taxi drivers need your destination written in script with a description of the location and no bloggers i dont mean the addy, or you go nowhere. Its horrendously expensive we were paying about $10 dollars for a cup of tea and $200 for a reasonable bottle of wine. Holy hell !!

On the other hand the people were unfailingly polite pleased to help if we were struggling with finding the right shinkansen and by and large delighted to have us there. Our forays into the countryside were hysterical . In a place called Kanazawa in the Japanese alps where practically no English was spoken we were sent to a restaurant with Menus only written in Japanese in an old Geisha teahouse. It was unbelieveable . We felt a bit like animals in a cage as the regulars stared while course after course was served of local and unknown delicacies. In true British fashion we ate it all including fish heads with bulging eyeballs whilst being stared at by a Japanese audience who were watching us to see if we ate it. Our motto was just to swallow it no matter what. ....and we did to be given a round of applause when we had finished .

We saw many sights , had a meeting well tea actually with two geisha which was one of the highlights of our trip and one which kind of sums up Japan. Here in the 21st century we have young girls who undergo an archaic training to become Meiko and then some 5 years later Geiko starting at 15 years of age effectively shutting themselves away rather like becoming a nun, and as such the tradition is that they all be virgins.. They live an isolated existence strictly controlled by their boarding house master , rigorously trained in all the neceessary arts of their trade. Whether this means the arts of the oldest profession in the world we were unable to assertain. They dress.... well you know how they dress and they are in full white makeup all the time and are allowed out practically only to entertain their clients in the time honoured fashion, bound up with layer after layer of tradition. All this bloggers in the centre of a fast paced modern city filled with neon.

it sums up the Japanese. Here we have a proud people , highly disciplined, deeply tied to their past bound by the rituals of yesteryear. The war notwithstanding honourable, and interestingly the war was never mentioned...... looking to a shining future but at the same time frightened of life outside the land of the rising sun. Sure they travel but only in groups. Sure they are all taught English as a second language but are afraid to use it in case they make a mistake and disappoint. They are deeply respectful and have a tremendous sense of community. They are bound together as tightly as a bandage, and in a way I admired that. Can we say the same of the West bloggers? Have we lost something along the way do you think. If we have what do you think it is?

Enemies

01-APR-09

Oscar Wilde once said....'Allways forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much'

I dont know about you bloggers but ive never been all that big on forgiveness.

I know the politically correct thing and even possibly Christian thing to say now would be yes we should all forgive our enemies. I cant. Im one of those people who will be your best friend standing firm through thick and thin, but cross me, make an enemy out of me and im a terror. Forgive???? pleeease,¿ So my question is this bloggers Are you a forgiver? Are you able to overlook animosity and forgive and forget? Could you put your arm around the person who has wronged you? Play happy families?

Wilde may have a point though.¿Often if one has an enemy and there has been much angst between the two parties I can see theres a great deal of¿¿satisfaction to be gained to be incredibly nice to someone who is an enemy. Theres nothing more effective than being¿pleasant and forgiving¿to someone who is giving you a hard time or has done you wrong.¿It leaves them nowhere else to go thus effectively isolating them . However its not for me.

Make me an enemy of me¿and ill cut you off and close the door. That door will never be reopened ....ever. I wont be nasty, you just will not exist for me.

How about you?

Living your LIFE

23-MAR-09

It has been said.... All men die....but how many live?

Its an interesting question isnt it. What constitutes living.

Ill tell you this bloggers. I live life to the max, making the most out of each day and opportunity. On a whim im off to Japan in 2 weeks . Allways wanted to do it so im off.I never want to wake up and say to myself 'where did my life go?' and have a wish list of experiences unfulfilled.

You may argue that sometimes it takes money to live and in part it does but theres still a wonderful life to be lived without it. With money well the toys get bigger and the travel more world wide, without it theres still plenty of stuff to do.and the thing is to do it instead of sitting in front of the tv watching someone else have a life. I never watch tv Im too busy out there living

So lets have it are you an armchair sitter, a bystander of life or are you a LIVER??

Fashion tips for men

23-FEB-09

As Im off to Paris this morning to what is still arguably the fashion capital of the world I thought I would quickly pass on my fashion tips to all you guys before I go

1] No those beige socks do NOT go with those black pants and shoes !

2] Men should never ever wear plaid pants...... not even on the golf course. They should be internationally outlawed, and all men wearing them publically flogged

3] Hawaiian shirts a fashion faux pas [Bill]

4] Men over 45 should never wear leather, especially short bomber jackets. Paunches in leather dont look good ....It reminds me of the 16/60 rule we have over here. They look sixteen from behind and sixty from the front

5] There should ba a community burning of all football/soccer shirts worn OFF the sports field

6] All men should be given a colour chart of which colours work together and which dont or allternatively take the wife or g/f with you when you shop

7] This seasons must have signature piece rarely goes with last decades Wal Mart

8] trainers or sneakers are to be worn for sports only. Nothing looks sexier than a man in a well fitting jean with a good pair of leather loafers

9] I dont need to say anything about t shirts with slogans on them do I??

10] men with jewellery......oh no bloggers ....oh no

Happy shopping guys !!!!!!!

should we??

27-JAN-09

You know ive been thinking....... allways a dangerous thing for me .

We women? are often discussing what we want and dont want from men. We all seem to have a list of wants , a list of definitely dont wants , dealbrakers and we are all aware of, it seems ,our tolerance thresholds. Women seem to verbalise everything no matter how painful, intimate or pleasureable.

In turn we would like if not expect our men to do the same. They try I know they do especially when it comes to compliments. We women want and need to be tiold we are beautiful, desirable , have lovely eyes legs .... whatever. Men do they really do. I met a man last week who quite obviously was not used to paying compliments but God love him he tried.

My question is this. Do we or should we do the same? Should we compliment our men? Tell them they are handsome, have a good body nice smile are sexy? Do they not deserve the same?

I make a point of allways complimenting my man . I feel they need it as much as we women do. After all its wonderful to be told you are desired, and pleasing to your mate isnt it?

So what do you think? Do we and should we?

Babies as band aids?

10-FEB-09

just recently ive been listening to friends who are going through a rough patch in their relationships, and as allways in these scenarios it follows in one or two ways.

Either they create a drama in their lives ,which effectively changes their focus,¿allowing them to pull together on a joint separate issue than the one they are currently dealing with. Uniting them on an issue to head off a current stalemate or stale relationship. This beggars the question 'do we need drama in our lives to maintain a healthy relationship?

The other and much more serious option seems to be lets have a baby. The thinking being also that any current issues can now be sidestepped as they are now planning a momentous event which will reshape their lives forever and hence burying the current problems. so my second question is 'do people¿sometimes use¿babies as a band aid¿for a relationship in trouble'

In the case im talking about the answer to their problems is yes lets have a baby. Quite frankly its blowing my brains out. How can you possibly even consider having a child when your relationship is at the least precarious and at the worst unstable. They are , in my opinion using the child as a bandaid.

Bandaids as you know become sticky over time and are only a short term quick fix, unlike a child which is forever.

What do you think bloggers.... is it morally wrong? or am I overreacting??

In praise of American men

06-FEB-09

My dear Bloggers, ive been talking to a male friend on here today and its flipped a lightswitch in my head.

Dont run to the hills.... but its time to tip our hats to men.

For sure there are plenty of perverts and scammers ,sleaze bags and the like, and those it has been my misfortune to come across you know who you are,?but you know there are good guys too and i would like to nod my appreciation in their direction.

It must be said at this point theres a world of difference in between English and American men. Englishmen are generally more anal, but have a better sense of humour although on here I suspect i? thats because although we speak the same language the humour is vastly different. Most times American men just dont get it. Englishmen dont tend? to be so pervy unless on a specifically adult site and if you,log on to those then you get what you pay for........?However I digress Im here to salute the American man

Darling men. For the most part I have found you to be erudite and interesting. You know how to talk and for the most part are educated and reasonably well read. A tribute to your education system, i suspect.?I have found much warmth in our conversations and real genuine friendship which goes way beyond the trivial and banal getting to know you entrees we are used to. You have seemed to be interested in me as a person and have generally been unfailingly polite, something I fear is missing in this modern world.?I find you slightly sexual in tone , generally in a very playful way which is not offensive. Those I have spoken to on the telephone have been warm interesting and friendly and invariably i have laid the receiver down smiling. For those who have become my friends you have shown me unfailing support and discretion, something i value greatly. Englishmen do not have this and I find that very sad. American men allways have something positive to say and even if I dont agree with it I respect it. Most have respect and love their families and above all love their country.

So American men I salute you.? It has allways been said that English women have a soft spot for American men and vice versa. I know this to be true for it has happened to me. American men rock.

?All that remains to be said is this do you American women feel the same way about your men.? Am I looking at them through rose tinted specs because I am English? Would you rather have a man from foreign shores? or do you appreciate what you have at home?

Its all a matter of TIMING

03-FEB-09

Or is it?

In life we are told its all in the timing. Wherther it be personal decisions , business, buying a house, having a child, whatever. Is it though?

Obviously whatever the situation, if the timing is right, everything falls into place at more or less the right time. The decision making process is made easier as it seems there is a natural forward moving series of events , each intertwined , each one following the other towards a natural conclusion.

Great. Just great. What if though your timing is off> Does that mean its a no go? we should forget our dream? No I dont think so. I think that , timing is great if you happen to have it but if not , well you just have to work a little harder to achieve your goal.

Its all, I feel, about having lateral thinking about the ways you can achieve your goals. For sure if I really want something I will turn over heaven on earth to get it. I dont care how many twists and turns I have to make as long as I get there in the end. Whenever theres a problem though people say to me? Timing , its all about the timing, and without it you have nothing. Without timing you can go nowhere. Without timing forget it.?

well, what do you think?

what is your DEAL BREAKER?

26-JAN-09

Ok so you have found what you think is a great partner. You are interested, they are hot, and you are out on your first date.

My question is this, is there anything that could be a dealbreaker here. What is it you just cant overlook? What is it that could stop you in your tracks for you to say no to another date.

Could it be they have annoying habits , a speech impediment of some kind, a whiny voice, repetitious conversation,the wrong political convictions? What about if they have halitosis , dont stop talking and even worse are bad in bed !!

What is it that does it for you?

For me, only last week I had my own deal breaker. Nice looking man, tall, looks a bit like George Clooney sparkly blue eyes, good conversation. Nice . Very nice, but then it happened. He drove me home at the end of the date, walked me to my house. Looked in to my eyes and ran his hand through my hair. He pulled me to him and kissed me.. A soft kiss his lips just brushing mine. Lovely. Im very big on kissing, And then it happened.......

Then he pounced and gave it his best shot a big wet smacker of a kiss. All slobbery . I thought one of two things, either he was going to eat me alive or i was going to drown UGH UGH ......and that was it. My deal breaker a very bad kisser

Whats yours?

When is enough ENOUGH

22-JAN-09

In relationships there are allways things which we are not happy with, and Im wondering just what it is or what combination of things signal enough.

Lets take out of the equasion the classic finishers of relationships like¿infidelity, criminal activity, abuse, drugs etc. Lets concentrate on the smaller things.

Your partner may be wonderful but are there things you just cant tolerate for long if at all?

What if your partner has a habit of eyeing up the opposite sex in your company, and making a commentary about that person. If your partner openly or even subtly flirts with others

What about a partner who cant allways quite look you in the eye , who cant allways tell the truth, who is secretive. How about if they are not great communicators and bottle things up?so every issue and discussion becomes a torture

Is it ok if your partner never tells you you look good , rarely professes love or ¿has a fear of intimacy. Can you tolerate a partner who although they say they love you is allways suggesting little ways you should change. Or a partner who instead of embracing all the positives about you allways seems to pick on the negatives.

Im not suggesting bloggers that your mate should display all of these things , but my question is what would it take for you to say no, enough is enough even though you have feelings for them. What are your tolerance thresholds?

I used to set my tolerance levels to nought but as ive got older ive become a bit more relaxed about it. Is that a good thing do you think?

To settle or not to settle

03-JAN-09

Well bloggers im continuing my series on love and relationships.

In todays metropolitan world I ask this question.

is it time to settle for what you can get rather then holding out for what you want? Does anybody get it all?

We all have our own criterior for what we want and what will make us happy but are we being realistic? Im talking about people of my own age not you spring chickens here. Men and women of a certain age. Those of us who as we say in the vernacular have been round the block so to speak. Those of us who maybe have been married or who have high expectations of what we want. Are we asking for the unattainable? placing the bar too high? Is it a given that as you get older your choices become more limited so the need for compromise is greater?

I look at my situation. Im looking for someone quite special. Does he exist? Is he real? am I asking for too much? My last foray into love was a disaster. So im now asking myself all these questions. Are there any answers bloggers? Do you hold out for what you want accepting that you may never find that special person, or do you settle??

What do you think?

Affaires of the heart

02-JAN-09

Ok . Its the start of a new year. A fresh start for us all particularly for some of us in matters of the heart.

I have a question today about the love aspect of relationships.

Is it better to love your partner a little less than they love you?

Do you think that it can work successfully?

I have a friend who for sure loves her man less than he loves her. He practically worships the ground she walks on. She on the other hand loves him, but not quite as much. When i noticed it and questioned her about it, she said she felt more secure this way. His unconditional love¿ ticked all her boxes. She gave him as much love as he needed and was apparently comfortable with, but not everything she had. It was her security blanket she said. If in the event it all went wrong she knew she would have enough of her heart left to carry on without being completely broken

Now before I ask the inevitable question I would ask that you all think really carefully and be totally honest about your reply, because i know for sure that the knee jerk answer is to say oh yes love in relationships has to be equal. Does it though.............

It works for them but honestly now do you think it would work for you? Indeed have you been or are you in this situation?

I have.

The Difference

01-JAN-09

Well bloggers, today im thinking about this.

What is the difference between love and infatuation? I mean remember those feelings> You meet someone new and in the first flush of the romance theres the feeling of breathless anticipation, you cant wait to hear the voice, the next phone call, letter, e mail. You cant concentrate at work. Time passes slowly between each meet. When you do meet you cant get enough of each other, time now seems to speed up and a date of 3 or 4 hours seems to pass like 3 or 4 minutes. They dont call at the anticipated time and you fear the worst. Panicking in case there has been a multi vehicle pile up on the road¿and they are in the middle of it. Or, maybe a serious illness, a life or death situation..

¿You go over and over the date in your mind analysing everything said looking for subliminal messages there. Could I have done better? Been more witty? More sincere? Was it fun ? Was i serious enough , intelligent¿ , were they interested?

Theres a hollow in your stomach , a slightly nauseous feeling that wont go away. Funnily enough it gets worse when he or she arrives. A tremor of the hands a slighly sweathy palm. A dry mouth a fluffing of the lines a laugh which is either a little too shrill or a little too loud

Further down the road and the feelings are still the same. Is this an infatuation?? or is this love? If its infatuation when does that end and love begin. Are there signs for this? A blueprint a book which tells you when you get to this point, feel like this, its no longer an infatuation but real love. Or bloggers are they¿one and the same or at the very least intertwined?

Either way its wonderful when it happens isnt it? Do we think this feeling¿ is the reason so many cant be monogamous. Is this why some chase many to feel this perpetual excitement , permanent high. Do you think its addictive? this adrenaline rush we feel?

Questions..... questions........ bloggers

time to move on

30-DEC-08

Well she sighs, Its that time of the year again when all things come to a close for good and for bad.

I dont know about you bloggers but its been a pretty tough year for me. Ive had more lows than highs, many tears, some smiles, and just a sprinkling of delight here and there.

Next year promises much for me. New friends a huge new challenge and an opportunity I never tought i would have had. So i look forward and not back.

My father allways used to say this. 'Look not to the past , look at today and where you want to be tomorrow and all will be well.

So, I want to share that with all of you . I know many friends here have had it tough. Even the blogs have been tough, but you know what we are all still here ready to live another day. So I say to you all Lets look forward to a bright new tomorrow. Everything your heart desires is out there. Lets reach for it shall we?? Lets put wings on our feet and go for it

Happy new Year all !!

Calling all Bloggers

23-DEC-08

A special Christmas wish is winging its way over from the UK to you all.

Its been a hell of a year on the blogs. Weve had it all on here this year, Love ,hate spite laughter caring, sadness You name it, but you know what? we are all still here..... well nearly.

I want to take this opportunity to wish each and every one of you a Happy Christmas and New year.

To my friends I want to say thankyou for allways being there. Its been a pretty tough year for me in more ways than one, and at times i have been quite overwhelmed by it all, so much so, that some have felt that i have not been as good a friend as i should have been. Others have let me run my race and have been there just to pick up the pieces. I send love tou each and every one ¿of you . Im sorry if i have disappointed others, and i hope to make it up to you in the New Year.

For those with whom ive had disagreements i wish you Merry Christmas also . Lifes too short for silly spats especially on here, so warm wishes to you all from me.

To the men, who are a fairly rare breed here. I thankyou for your input and balance . Most of you are such fun and lend a fair dose of fresh air on to the blogs, Some have been absent and we miss you but without you all this place would be not the same. Merry Christmas to you all

To all the new bloggers welcome! This community is diverse and can be a little scary for the newcomer. To those who are firmly still here, good to see you . and Seasons greetings

So, bloggers eat drink and be Merry. Treasure your friends, enjoy and love your families, bury the hatchets, remember those who are no longer with us ,and have a wonderful time whatever your plans are for the holidays. May all your dreams come true for the New Year

Deborah

part 3 MONEY

19-DEC-08

ok now we come to the tricky part, and that is MONEY. Who has it and what are we going to do with it. Traditionally the man has the money and the woman doesnt right? Well what if its the other way round? What happens then. Do you agree to pool your resources or do you do what the Americans do and sign a pre nup. Or do you on the other hand trust your partner. Even more complicated is if you divide the spoils before you are married and it all goes wrong. What then bloggers what then??

Part 2 FIDELITY

11-DEC-08

Well. Heres the thing. We are looking at on line relationships, long distance, so lets talk about Fidelity. Online theres so much more easily available candy in the shop isnt there. I mean its not like you have to go to a bar or club or a singles venue to meet. Online its all there at the click of a mouse isnt it. We are faced in online relationships at least in the beginning with limited time together so answer me this. Is it right bloggers, that if you are in a committed relationship , well, as committed as it can be, that your mate actively corresponds with other women or men online? Is it right to have more than one ball in the air at any one time? Is there an etiquette to these situations? Is it acceptable for your mate not only to still correspond with other women but to also divulge details about your situation, lifestyle and personal life?? I dont think so bloggers I dont think so. Should you immediately cease correspondance with other women,or men as the case may be, or at least advising them you have found real love or that you are to be married, or do you keep it a little secret and continue ?So continuing the virtual life you have created. Lets face it, it can be very exciting talking to many on here and flattering too. Please ladies and gents i would welcome your input because obviously this goes both ways. If the answer is NO absolutely not, what then do we think of people who do this?

the first of a TRILOGY

08-DEC-08

Hello my bloggers. I have had an interesting time here recently and im going to write about it, but first I want to ask you some questions and i would be very interested to hear what you have to say. Forgive me all those who have touched on similar subjects but by the time i get to writing my real story you will understand why I have done it this way round. So tell me ...... Lets say you met and fell in love with Someone who lived in a different country. Its a fairly big deal isnt it? I mean its not only the distance to think of here, in fact when i think about it the distance is the least of your problems. Its the upheavel of an entire life, both personal and professional. So question one is this Would you consider upping sticks as it were and moving to another country??? Theres the language problem, for sure we all speak English but when its not your mother tongue, a lot, and bloggers i mean a LOT gets lost in translation. A simple throwaway remark which would be said in an instant can be misconstrued to become a major incident taking ages to sort out and smooth over Question number two is would you have the energy to constantly think about what you are saying in case it is misconstrued?? would you tire of the constant explaining and clarifying? Then theres the time factor and logistics. All life changes and upheavels seem to have their own pace and timeframe. Do you plan and carefully analyse all aspects of the intended move making sure all bases are covered?? or do you just sell up and go for it... trusting to love... You tell me....... More tomorrow

A Magical moment

01-DEC-08

My dear bloggers; I write this from this most amazing place we call Marrakech. I came here for a weeks R and R and golf to get away from the stress and strain of life back in old Blighty; I imagine you are all collectively yawning at this point, but i wanted to share a moment from my day with you. Imagine the scene. It is late afternoon and the gold/orange glow of the sun is just tickling the tall minarets as it makes its way down to sleep . The air is warm and spicy a slight breeze is moving the palms near where we stand on the 14th tee. I stand ready to take my shot and i Look up. Before me in the distance stand the majestic Atlas Mountains , their tall caps covered in snow glowing crystal clear against a clear azure blue sky, my eyes move down taking in the shapes of the Moorish architecture down through the palms and across the green of the fairway to where I stand. In the distance I hear the call to prayer for the faithfull and for a moment, just one precious moment time stands still. It is perfect and I realise how lucky I am to be here. It is a snapshot that will for ever remain in my minde eye. Travel is such a gift , do any of you have one magical moment to share?

Reflections

25-NOV-08

Im in a deeply reflective mood today. I have been thinking about the phenomenon of the internet and of sites like these.However i do think this site is unique. Would I class this as a dating site? hmmm no not really. Until I joined here I had no idea about this kind of thing and it has been more than a revelation to me. I have met many , loved some, dismissed others, have been trashed in the most brutal and unpleasant way,have actively disliked those who trod on my toes and have been reduced to tears by stories of pain and suffering All human life is here and if you care to look. I would like to quote some of the immortal lines in the film The War of the Worlds narrated by the inimitable Richard Burton 'across the millions of miles of space there are those who regarded this earth with envious eyes and studied us as a scientist studies bacteria as they swarm and multiply in a drop of water under a microscope ' And in a way bloggers it kind of applies to me here. I feel i have been that alien. That person who has lived all her life in a very cosseted world, secure in my own reality, comforted by all that was true in my own world, until I came on here, and what i have found has affected me in the most profound way. Its almost like a kind of fascination watching the human interaction dynamic working I realise that I have found that there is a world a surreal world, way outside of my comfort zone. All human life is here. Some good , some bad, and some ugly I have experienced it all. Joy, laughter, sadness , pain,friendship, envy, love , hate,jealousy its all here and it seems not only is it here it has exclamation marks behind it. I have wondered what makes our emotions and traits on here so much more exaggerated than in real life and this is what i think. Maybe its exaggerated because we are protected by a kind of annonymity. We all have a username and with that we have created a kind of alter ego of our choosing which may or may not reflect who we really are, which at times can get out of control.I for one have played with a cougar personality which is not strictly the truth but it made for fun writing. Its easy to share whatever you have to say good or bad when you are not looking into anothers eyes. If we see no reaction then its easy to do what we want isnt it? Do you not find that the written word is much more powerful than the spoken> Do you not think that the writings of Petrarch would have been so potent if he had just called his longtime love on the phone and said hey babe luv ya? Rather than writing of his unrequited love over the course of 20 years, in writing so powerful and poignant it held the reader spellbound. The written word is potent indeed, and should be used with careful consideration at all times. I feel we have yet to learn that on here. This internet experience and in particular blogging is not for the faint hearted for sure, and i have seen many fall by the wayside unable to cope. Its been one hell of a ride, but its a short lived thrill and I wonder what we as individuals will take away with us from this most unusual of experience. It would be interesting to see if any of you agree with me and share your thoughts. Will this have been a positive or negative experience?

there is LOVE

25-NOV-08

Ive been on a bit of a journey recently and i came apon this quotation which i felt was quite telling. I would be interested to know what you think and whether you see the irony in it. 'There is love of course, Then theres life..... its enemy Jean Anouilh

we laughed soooo much

21-NOV-08

Well bloggers i have a retail story to tell you today. A nice young couple walked into my shop. Nicely spoken well dressed, looking for a little black dress. I showed them all I had and they made a selection of two or three to try on. So I said to the young woman OK the changing rooms are right there go on in and try on. Oh no the young man said they are not for her theyre for me!!!! We fell about laughing. and you know what he looked pretty good in it too ! Sorry Vick your dress has been sold !! dont worry Ill find you another lolol

OH Dear Bloggers

17-NOV-08

Well its that time of the year again and its beginning to show. its entertaining time for me. I have to entertain my clients lunch and dinner and frankly friends.... and this is only between you and I. Im putting it on. Weight that is. You know there was a time when i had hollow legs so to speak. I could eat and drink what i liked and i wouldnt put on an ounce. Now its a different story. Please dont anyone say its an age thing please. I know it is and although ive allways liked to think im a bit of a Peter Pan my bod is telling me otherwise. It really sucks. All my life up until last year ive been a size zero. Now sadly im a 2 creeping up to a four. Bugger. Its got to stop before i get any bigger. So my question to you gang is this. Got any losing weight tips that still involve eating food and having a good time?? Lie if necessary LMAO