Blogs for Conyersguy.

What would YOU do ?????

13-SEP-12

Hypothetically speaking, of course, if :

If you had been chatted by a bright, beautiful woman for years, first as a kind of mentor (she's substantially younger, but not to the creepy degree :):) and cyber friend.

Off and on, never really even thinking of a romantic involvement (mostly because of the distance) you'd chatted occasionally. A good, funny woman.

When you dated someone else, seriously, you kept chatting, on the occasional basis. You made it crystal clear you were in a committed, loving relationship, and there was never even a hint of any desire to violate the committed relatonship with the cyber friend. No inappropriate sex talk; no "I'll see you when I'm in Copenhagen;" no hints from her of "Why don't we....?" or "Why don't you dump her?"; nothing of that sort at all.

Well after the local relationship ended, both parties expressed an interest in finding out if there was more, to the man / woman on the other end of the internet screen.

During the whole time, the woman had profile pics posted, and both occasionally sent other pics. Some of hers were sexy, but never too revealing, etc.

But, she never agrees to meet. Several times, it appears there is an agreement, first on one side of the pond, then the other. You were willing to do either. But after more than six months of this, you realize that, for whatever reason, you do not believe she will ever meet. So you respectfully point this out, and insist upon parting company. While you value your cyber - blog friends, you are, truly, looking for a life partner. And this is obviously a dead-end.

A few weeks later, she contacts you, with an alternate identity (on another chat site, not MM) This new ?? woman is also bright and smart, and also beautiful and sexy.

BUT SHE IS NOT THE SAME WOMAN. The pictures she has posted, and sent, for years, are of a different woman, entirely. Perhaps a professional model???? She has represented this woman was her, for years, to you and many others. For some reason, she felt she needed to look prettier, sexier?? And remember, she is a pretty woman, a sexy woman, in the 'real' identity. Who knows why a woman feels another look than her own is more desirable?

You saw through the alternate identity almost immediately. She has lied about her appearance for a long time. But she is still the same person, same personality, and it is one you like. When confronted, a couple days later, she 'fesses up.

And she now says she want to see you.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ?? Forgive her the false appearance? (She is, after all, the same smart, funny person you enjoyed. And an attractive woman....just not the attractive woman in the pictures.) Or ditch her as just another internet liar? (Just because a charlatan feels a real connection with you and chats well, does not mean she's not still a charlatan.)

Let's hear YOUR opinions, MMers.

-CG-

An Invitation to Romanian women

11-SEP-12

I am concerned for the decent women of Romania. It appears that a certain percentage are intent upon ruining the reputation of the rest of you great women.

So, I have an offer for you:

-------The first Romanian woman who will produce a visa, good for travel to the US, will get an all expense paid trip, no strings attached !!!!!!

Now, I know that no pretty young 20-something should have ANY interest in my 56 year old self. Heck, maybe any 30 or 40-something, for that matter. But, given the dozens who appear on this site every week, and proceed to tell me of their interest, but need to have me send enough money to get a visa......there HAS to also be at least one Romanian woman of good character and interesting nature, who actually has a visa, or can get one herself. And I'm not requiring that she be delusional enough to think I'm even the slightest bit George Clooney-ish.

I just want the decent Romanian women to know how deeply they are hidden in the haystack. It HAS to be frustrating to be mixed in with so many women in their 20's who seem to need a guy to send her $ 2,000. to 6,000. for a visa. Since the visa is $ 160. (plus some paperwork, picture, travel to embassy, etc), at the very least it means these young ladies are not terribly efficient. I'm seriously considering moving to Bucharest, and starting up a visa service.....you give me the 3 -4 K, and I'll pay the $ 160. for you and apply. I think I can turn a profit on THAT !!!

So, let's hear from you !!!!

RULES TO LIVE BY .........

30-JUL-12

With all credit to Voyager and Pat (author of Rule # 1) , I ask that you distill your "What not to do" or "Always do this" into a succinct, pithy version.

#1 Never F*** a man with a kinky p**is. He's bound to be as kinky as his p**is is.

What size do you like ???

09-APR-09

No, I didn't mean THAT.?? But it's nice to know all your minds are in the gutter with mine.? I meant, What size guy or girl do you really prefer??? And be specific.?? Physically ONLY.? Do you prefer a woman you can look in the eye?? Or one who has to look up to you??? One who you can sweep up with one arm?? Or one who can give you a real run for it in a wrestling contest?? The waif, or the muscular, or the big booty'd??

And ladies, do you prefer the tall guy who makes you feel protected?? Or the guy you can look at a a physical equal?? The lean and skinny guy?? Or the solid block of muscle?? Does the 'twice your size' guy work for you?? Or must he be a rail?? If you're 5'0", how tall, or short, works??? If you're 5'11" - same question.? If you are comfortable doing so, indicate YOUR size when giving your preferences.? And remember, he or she is already?perfect otherwise......you're just building the perfect body......for YOU.?? Oh, and if you just have to comment on the size of the 'Lamborghini', ladies, or it's 'garage', guys,? while you're at it, feel free.?

The REAL patron saint of LOVE !!!

16-FEB-10

OK, we all survived Valentine's Day. I hope many of you had great ones !!!

But upcoming is time to salute that more contemporary Patron Saint of Love --- St. PATRICK !!!!

He comes in the springtime, when warmer weather allows for skimpier clothing. He actively encourages parties with fellow cabin-fevered denizens of the dark. His mascot, the leprechaun's, size is an ego boost to 99% of the male population. His fashion sense is the lowest of hurdles to surpass. He insists we look for the gold at the end of the rainbow, and he leaves it within reach. He fosters tasteless parades with no purpose but to have fun. (See the Shriner at the Savannah parade last year. And that is NOT me, btw !!!)

And he insists you drink until your partner IS beautiful..........How could you not love a saint with a holiday like this??????

Can you believe the size of this thing? ! ! ?

15-DEC-11

Hey, I'm just checking to see how many hits a blog title can get with no substance at all. If just mentioning the word "virgen" in a blog title can get 400 views, I figure mentioning 'size' will get at least a couple hundred.

At least leave a post to say who had to check it out, fellow MM bloggians. (I know I look at every blog, no matter what or who wrote it, so I'd be in.)

Or hijack it with some useful content. Or answer Hope's question on the other blog about where you lost your virginity........

-CG-

Why did you pick your screen name?

25-APR-11

Ok, in a totally non-serious vein (I think):

Why did you pick your screen name? Is there a story behind it? Was it an attempt at anonyminity (1345abc) that seems pointless now? or misguided? or even a momentary fit of pique? (lookin41honestman) or dishonesty? (1richchik) or wishful thinking (Studlydoright).
Something you thought was important at that moment, but now seems ridiculous? Your mantra? Your code of ethics? Your alter ego?

What is it, MMers? And in the spirit of fun, do YOU have a guess for one of us for OUR screen name? For instance, does Tinkerbelle have a thing for flighty little boys? Or does she secretly wish to be ravaged by pirates? (I'm thinking if it's Johhny Depp, the answer is YES!!)

I'll even go first, but you'll have to decide if any of my answers are correct.

Since I normally use CG instead of Conyersguy, is it merely the initials for that? No, CG is really a salute to my Spanish nature, Carne Grande. :):) Or maybe it was Consuela Grande, in honor of my previous girlfriend? Or Coastal Guy? Or Co-Dependent Guy? Or is it Coastal GIRL ?? (we never REALLY know who is online, do we?) :):)

Ok, now YOUR confessions, and guesses, please.

-CG-

New, old jokes

15-NOV-11

OK, a few oldies, but goodies.

Panties - Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -----Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. -- Zsz Zsa Gabor

Rich Women

05-SEP-11

Hoping asked a question on another blog, and I felt my answer was going too far afield for that blog subject, so I'm answering here.

she asked (paraphrasing): if dating a wealthy woman made a man feel insecure ???

So, I'll answer, and encourage other guys to do so as well.

I've only dated a very few women in my lifetime who were financially better off than me. So it's VERY unusual when it occurs, for me. (And I don't mean that in the "I got all that" sense. I do OK, but there are plenty of women who've done better, financially. I just mean it that I don't have a very large pool of experience from which to draw.)

But, I don't have a problem with it, just because of the money. I have run into a problem when rich women act like jerks, just like rich male jerks do. A jerk is a jerk, no matter the gender. The same reasons that make women say, "It's not worth it, no matter how much money he has" are valid reasons for guys, too. And unfortunately, the same reasons SOME women ARE successful are the same reasons SOME guys are.....they're either obnoxious, controlling, manipulative, self-serving or all of the above. These women (or men) are impossible for me to tolerate OR date.

But some women have done well through good fortune (being in the right place at the right time), being born to wealth, bad fortune (death of a spouse, death of a marriage though no fault of her own) or just plain ol' hard work, and working a good plan. Just like men, these women run the entire gamut of human types. Beautiful, plain as hell, sensual, frigid, smart, dumb, skinny, fat, sexy, not, educated, not, tolerant, inflexible, kind, uncaring...... And among these women, just like the ones with no money, I'm only interested in the great ones. I haven't knowingly dated one with those bad characteristics. A couple turned out to be unacceptable character types, but I didn't know that before I datd them.

Among those good people, who just happened to have money, I had no problem with being the lesser pocketbook. The good person, whether male or female, will not use their pocketbook as a weapon. And if she's not using it like that, DUH, it's MY shortcoming if I have psyche problems with her having money. I never had that problem. Among those great women, who had money, it was never a big deal at all. I paid for what I could, and wished to, pay for, and she did likewise. If she wanted us to take an Alaskan cruise, and I wouldn't have, or couldn't have, spent the money on it, I have no problem with going and having a great time. We men expect women to do this all the time. What's different about it?

One thing I wouldn't do (and I always respected the women who wouldn't do this with me) is mislead her into thinking I feel something I don't, just to get the trip (or the jewelry, or the clothes.) I've had women tell me, "Thanks, but no thanks" when I suggested a pricey pleasure, because they felt I wasn't the one for them. I'd do the same, here. If I know you think me going on that cruise means I plan to keep growing our relationship into a permanent one, and I just don't feel that way, I won't go. The hurt she'd feel is an honest one, and she should respect that. I know I do, and have.

But if, the woman who makes me feel good (and potential for great):):) has enough money to make me set mine on fire, so what? Money is a tool, not a weapon, when two people care for each other.

-CG-

How do you see heaven?

26-AUG-11

Last night I dreamed that I had passed to my reward. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that my companion for eternity was a spectacularly beautiful and sexy woman, rather provocatively dressed. As I learned my way around, I ran into an old friend. "Wow !! " he said. "What on earth did you ever do to deserve HER ? " Before I could answer, she said, " Nothing, he's my punishment."

-CG-

For Men Only

28-JUL-10

Just checking to see how many women click on a blog "For men only." I'm guessing quite a few. Two can play at this game, Sophia.:):) (Of course, if you didn't click here, you didn't read that.) :):) And in my humble opinion, two SHOULD play at this game. Isn't that what all of this is about? Understanding the other sex? ..... -CG-

Frog's blog are plagiarized

31-MAR-11

Well, I was going to ignore blogs from someone who had the time and felt the need to post a dozen in one day (especially after reading a couple) but then I tried one more, "Girls." I find it blatantly plagiarized, and specifically credited to Mr. Frog. And JEEZ, he's plagiarizing common email crapicisms, and representing it to be his "poetry." I know we're desperate for blog content, but dayam!! Hopefully this crap will drift out with the other flotsam into history soon enough. So please, everybody, post ANYTHING in a new blog to hasten the process. -CG-

Best Legs on MM :)

14-JAN-11

With apologies to Rick of four + years ago, I ask for the best legs of MM. It was an old blog I saw, and thought it would be fun to re-create. Please submit your best leg shot, below, and we'll all judge a winner. We'll have a gift card for the winner (if MM doesn't flp out.) To make it interesting for the ladies, let's see the guy legs, too. I've even started with mine, for the humorous effect. But I'll be honest, as the Chief Justice on this leg court, you guys don't really have a chance of winning.

Your most outlandish MM experience ?

03-FEB-11

OK, this one is gonna be interesting, if everyone will just tell their best ones. Doesn't have to be MM, just internet contact or date, etc. In no particular order, here are a few. ---I just had to laugh when I saw in the Forums, a woman take offense, and then show her own prejudices while spouting indignantly about someone elses.....A woman had complained about the flaws of men (we've ALL heard that one):):) and in doing so made the statement that was why some woment were turning lesbian. A reader took offense, and stated, "I didn't "turn" gay. However, I wouldn't expect someone with the intelligence of a dwarf to understand that." (You just can't make this stuff up!!) ----I met a woman who loved everything about me, and then tried to change everything about me. :) selah ----The woman who was too well mannered to have sex on our first meeting, but thought it perfectly OK to offer and perform oral sex???? wtf? ----The woman who describes her breakup with her husband and in fifteen minutes has me admiring HIS behavior, despising hers, and OH-SO-wishing I could join him in her rear view mirror sooner than the rest of the meal was going to require. ----The woman who said she was looking for a long term relationship, and I found out when we got ready to meet a month later that she was IN a long term relationship....called a marriage !!! (It only surfaced when she needed to meet away from her hometown because her husband was going to be around that weekend.)

When they scream out someone else's name !

28-JAN-09

---With thanks to GatorRx for the genesis of the idea, I want to hear everyone's "Called you - Screamed out someone else's name" stories. I bet we have some good ones. --My best one: Immediately after my first breakup (19), I was dating a girl who had also just broken up with her long term boyfriend. Things went well until the first time we made love. Then, as she reached her orgasm, she screamed out "Oh, YES, David ! " (My name is not David.):)? I tried to pretend I didn't hear it, and kept at my task, since I REALLY wanted to finish what I was doing. A few minutes later, I screamed out "Cathy !!" Her name was Becky. She ignored it, too. Two days later we're both back dating our exes.

INSULTS; GIve it your best shot

17-JUN-09

Inspired by the masterful ability of Irocas, lets see everyones best!? I'l have to think a minute for mine, but come on, without pointing the weapon at any one person, what's the best you have?? I'm guessing us guys have more experience at the broadside.? THink you ladies can top us.

With apologies to Irocas:? She's not as dumb as she looks.

She doesn't sweat much for a fat girl.

Yeah, I used to believe that, too.

Yo mama is so ugly...........

If she had as many pricks sticking out of her as she's had stuck in her, she'd look like a porcupine.?

If brains?were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.

(I didn't say it had to be tasteful......)

MM, Are you listening ?

07-JAN-11

Spurred into action by BillZeke, I broach the following subject, and ask for regular bloggers and never bloggers alike to weigh in with your comments and suggestions: MM is too small. Do whatever it takes to raise the membership numbers. Lots of these members haven't signed on since the last Ice Age. And no, I don't count the scammers. And no, I don't want the masses. There are plenty of exceptional, wonderful people who would like to meet and date someone like themselves. Get THOSE. I agree with BillZeke, the blogs have become pitiful. But they are just a mirror of the site. And I wonder if MM is doing the necessary marketing to attract a critical mass of constituents??? It appears to me the benefit of not dealing with a mass site is not realized if there aren't enough inmates in the asylum. My personal opinion is there needs to be 5 - 10 times as many real people on this site for it to be effective as a dating tool. The blogs are just a reflection of the lack of new meat, as some of that new meat would be grey matter between the ears. So, MM, are you listening? And what about it, guys & dolls? Am I right? Any better ideas out there? -CG-

Christmas wishes for MM bloggers

22-DEC-10

With apologies to those I miss, my Christmas wishes to some of our favorite MM bloggers: For Curious - A ROOM, with the gentleman of your choice --For zzoraya - Snow for Christmas….it’s gotta be rare in Colombia, huh? For Billzeke - a bigger memory card for those pictures of great places. For Tinkerbelle-a veddy, veddy stiff Englishman, for……well you know what for.  For the GentleWoman-A man who will tell us all that ‘gentle’ is quite a misnomer. For Arizona -The man who makes Alberta winters seem hot. For Timberoo- The lady who learns ‘Timber’ is not an inappropriate description. For Brittany - A liberal so good you don’t care he’s liberal. For NiceGuy-The girl who brings out the bad boy in you. For Dubs - The girl who gets to see (and likes)  what’s under the trenchcoat. For Ekat -The man who makes YOU speak in tongues. For Moldy-The yin for your yang. For Ready - A man who always is For Migs-Just the right spread on your bruschetta.  For Michael - The muse who makes you HER muse. For Sista -The guy who makes you say, “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam.” For Miss Monte-The man who makes you do it over and over again, until you get it right, as any good teacher should. For Rose-A GPS. Where have you been? For Newman-An older woman. It’s about time you learned they are way better…… For Shaz-That same GPS. For Negrita-Good luck this time. For Atta -A 12 step woman…one whom you are wise enough to know the difference, but don’t care. -For Deke - A good time in GA  Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. -CG-

LAME BLOGS !!!!

26-AUG-10

Wow !! The blogs are SO lame now. I will point the finger of blame at myself as well, but I know my excuse.:):) Michael & Sophia are trying to carry it all by themselves, it seems, with a few exceptions. Deke has some valid political points, and Tink just threw in a good one. But the rest of us are either lazy or incapable of original thought, or both. Or is it that MM is not appealing to enough new blood to balance the normal attrition??? and what is causing the blog attrition?? Success at a love connection? Abandonment of the attempt?? Or just the natural staleness that creeps into all long term 'relationships?' Maybe it's because I'm not looking, but I don't see the infusion of new talent I saw a year ago. Some great ones, sure, but not as many. Are the other online dating services doing a better job of filling this niche now? What say ye? -CG-

Jokes for the day

04-JUN-10

I never post jokes, but had a few come in that might send you into the weekend with a smile: I dialed a number and got the following recording: --"I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes." ----------------- My wife and I had words, -- But I didn't get to use mine. ----------------- God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. -------------------------- Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. --He shoots his friend and kills him. --Wife says "If you are going to behave like this, you won't have ANY friends left!" ------------------------ Nominated as the best short joke this year: A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. --"Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?" -- "Not yet," she replied. ---------------------- And finally: A redneck was walking home late at night and saw a woman in the shadows. 'Twenty dollars' she whispered. Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but decided what the heck, it's only twenty bucks, so they hid in the bushes. They were in there for only a minute when all of a sudden a light flashed on them. It was a police officer. 'What's going on here, people?' asked the officer. 'I'm making love to my wife!' Bubba answered sounding annoyed. 'Oh, I'm sorry,' said the cop. 'I didn't know.' Bubba says, 'Well, neither did I til ya' shined that light in her face.'

Key West in July

02-APR-10

Hi, fellow MM bloggers,

I regret to announce I now have a conflict which will prevent me from attending Hemingway Days in Key West (and entering the look-alike contest) in late July. I am very disappointed, but it is unavoidable. Maybe next year. However, I am entered in the short story contest, so keep your fingers crossed for that. Even an honorable mention would be a real treat. If anyone would like to read my submitted story (limit 3000 words), just email me and I'll return email it. Mind you, I am not representing it as great literature.:):)

Again, my apologies and best wishes to all.

Blog technical trouble AGAIN !!

12-MAR-10

Is anyone else having trouble posting blogs?

After sporadic instances for a week or so now, today EVERY post does not "go through" even though I enter the code numbers and then enter. Only by hitting the "Back" button on my browser, recalling my comment screen, and then entering the new code number, does it land on the blog. So, essentially, I have to do it twice every time.

FIX THIS, MM !!!!!!!!

TInk, I don't think even you can fix this

12-FEB-10

Tink,

Check out HumblePaul01 on Brittany's scammer blog. I don't think even you can fix those fashion stylings !!!!!!!!

And for what it's worth, even I draw the line short of armless T-shirts and blaze orange as a fashion color for men........Now for the color of a bikini on a knockout, sure. :) :)

The KEYS

21-JAN-10

Off track of Moldy's sex blog, so I thought I'd mention here.

I wanted to mention, since a few are talking about the Keys, I have tentatively agreed, upon some friends cajoling (and several Cuba Libras), to enter the Hemingway look-alike contest during Hemingway days in Key West July 22-24. I'm sure with a month or so of growing the beard out, proper trimming, etc., I can place in the upper 1/3. It'll be late July, hottern hell, and I think NOW is the time to be in the Keys, but it will be fun, anyway.

Should be a great time. Buying drinks for the contestants is highly encouraged. Throwing drinks at them is frowned upon. :):):) Crowd support is the criteria for winning, and I am not above bribing you. Come one, come all. :):):)

The LIST !!

13-JAN-10

Tink said she had a list.....Hmmm......I wonder if any of us are thick skinned enough to read a breakdown of impressions we have made, from some of the old guard????? I'm afraid it would be trollerish, starting a downward spiral of hurtful comments.....

Not many of us can weather the opinions of others, especially when they hit close to home.

And, of course, my impressions, from afar, of any one particular person would be framed only by MY observations. I might have read someone's comment about an error in their judgment, and decided OMG what a terrible person he or she is, while I missed the comment a week earlier showing a real depth and kindness in that soul.

Who am I to judge?

How would you vote, MMers? Could YOU take it if the opinion were not as flattering as you thought you were projecting? If it hit YOUR Achilles heel? If it hit your friend's Achilles? Could you see the value in Tink's list (and I'm not saying she has one of this sort, btw !!) if it said "Conyersguy is a commitment-phobic bag of hot air?" or "Rose is a Saturday night boy toy?" (fyi, Rose is a very bright, considerate friend of Tink's, whose assessment above is as far off as I hope mine is.):):):) ((As far as I know, that is. What HAVE you been doing on Saturday nights, Rose?)) :):)

It might let us see ourselves as others see us. Would we wish that? (Even if the vote to do this were positive, would it be better if the feedback were anonymous? Would we get more honest assessments. Would we consider it more valid if more than one says the same thing? If anonymous, I have to assess the comment, rather than striking back in my mind (or on a blog) at the messenger...

Hurtful or Harmful, MMers?

MY Christmas wishes for you all :

25-DEC-09

My Holiday wishes for our crew:

For Tinkerbelle: . That 007 to go with that Oh-So-Bond-Girl look :)

For Miss Monte Carlo:. Her own spanking from the principal of her choice :)

For Queenie: Jeez, just a hot sunny day, huh? :)

For Brittany: That the 'naughty' list be only a few, this year.:)

For Sweet Simone: Since we don't hear her much anymore, I'm figuring she's doing well, so we'll just wish her more of it. :)

For Shaz: A user I. D. You keep showing up as author on V L 's blog, and I KNOW your attic isn't that cluttered.:)

For Arizona: New but a sweetie, I wish you your own Paul Bunyan to warm those Canadian Winters :)

For Princess Maya: . A New Year's date. :) (I don't have one, but I bet you already do) :)

For Curious: . The answer to your curiousity.:):)

For Zzzoraya: . The one who drives YOU....well, anyway you want to be driven.:)

For Dekan: . A date with Colbert (no left wings in this wing basket).:)

For Creative: . A day and night so exciting it rattles even your window panes.:)

For Yusina: A writer that stirs YOUR imagination.:)

For Sophia: A yule log in that new fireplace (wink).:)

For Bold & Sexy: Aren't those two the same?:)

For Lil Cherokee: That best friend...who's also a hunk.:):)

For Ame Bella: The one who will make you BOTH dive off the cliff (safely):)

For CDinCO: A snow shovel, perhaps? Unless he's already there.:)

I wouldn't forget you guys. It's just always ladies first;

For the Newman: A shirt, man. And one of those loud Hawaiian ones, just to bug Tink.:)

For BillZ: Some hair. That glare is killing us.:):)

For Urocas: An alternate I.D., perhaps.:)

For Nice Guy: A mean streak...You make the rest of us look bad !!! :)

For Four Dubs: A speedo to go under that trench coat...or maybe YOU're that Bond man of Tink's??? :)

For our very own Visionary Lover: More of those same deep lessons....of which I only agree with 10 % of....But hey, a salad with no nuts is SO boring.:):)

For Twisted:) A visit to reality, and perhaps a deletion of 50% of your thesaurus.:):)

For Jhintn: The time to type more than once every six months.:

For Moldy: Let's see how you do with a Great White up your *ss instead of a dolphin.:):)

For BriCraigPark: More tail time. Hey, I'm talking about airplanes here !!! :)

Dating - Southern style.

17-NOV-09

There is a country song which outlines a father's concern for his daughter dating......The punch line is basically, "You kids go along and have fun.? I'll probably be up all night.....cleaning this gun."

I heard a different version from a friend yesterday.? He didn't claim it as original, but I thought it funny.

He said he plans to tell each of his daughter's suitors, "Have fun...But remember, everything you do to her, I'm going to do to you."...Then he'll kiss the guy on the lips, and repeat, "EVERYTHING !!!"

Dating - Southern Style - Part 2

19-NOV-09

A successful real estate attorney in Atlanta finally meets his life goals and retires to his dream.....a farm in rural Alabama.

At first it is everything he dreams of....Hard work in God's country; not a single soul to be seen any day...He thrives on the solitude and refreshing quiet.

A week passes.....then a month.....then two.......Now, he is starting to get lonely...His batteries are recharged, and he is beginning to miss human contact.

Finally, one day, he sees a distant cloud of dust on the dirt road....miles away.....He watches as it gets closer and closer.....At last, a beat-up old pickup truck pulls up, and pulls into the yard....A huge bearded mountain of a man gets out...He pulls his overalls up, and spits a stream of tobacco juice as he gets out....an intimidating sight, straight out of Deliverance.

But he is a affable fellow...He introduces himself, "Howdy, neighbor.¿ I'm John Wilson, from down the road.¿ I heard somebody bought the old Smith place.¿ I just wanted to get over here and welcome you to the community...And to let you know I'm having a party at my place this Saturday night....I sure would love for you to come."

The new guy is glad to get the invitation....and just glad to see ANYBODY, period!!!!...He answers, "Why, thank you.¿ I appreciate the invitation, and I WAS getting lonely around here...I haven't seen a soul since I moved in....What do you do at your parties?"

The country giant answers, "Well, we'll drink a little....then we'll eat a little... then we'll drink a little more.....Then we're gonna F*CK¿ ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!!!"

The new guy answers, "Wow !!!...That's my kind of party!!!!¿ I'll be there at 7:00, sharp...What should I wear?"

The big guy answers, "Aw, hell, it don't matter...There ain't gonna be nobody there but you and me.

:):):)

The Truth about Men's / Women's brains

28-OCT-09

A guy is in a bar, looking over this hot chick.¿ The girl smiles and¿ says to him, "Hi, Bill, you don't recognize me, do you?¿ I used to be your friend, George.¿ I finally quit pretending and had that sex change operation."¿

Bill is stunned, but George WAS a great guy.¿ So they talk, and a couple of beers later, Bill finally says, "George, I gotta ask, "Was it worth it?¿ The pain must have been terrible when they cut your penis off !!!".....Georgia answers, "Oh my God, yes. That hurt like hell, but that wasn't the worst part."

Bill asks, "Then was it the breast implants?"...Georgia replies, "No, That was sore for a couple of weeks, but it wasn't the worst."

Bill continues, "Well, geez, it had to have¿ been when they castrated you, then."...Georgia replies, "No...That was excruciating, but that wasn't the worst part.¿ The worst pain was when they inserted this huge syringe in my ear and sucked out half my brains."

Now, you understand why women's brains are cheaper:):):)

How do you avoid attracting golddiggers?

09-AUG-06

Give away all your money....

EX-FILES--Give us your best one

30-JUL-09

THE? EX -- FILES

We all have an "Oh my God! HE DIDINT !" story from our married days, don't we??? Let's hear YOUR best, or worst, or your girlfriend or buddy's best.?

I CAN'T tell my best one.? The statute of limitations has not run out yet.? But, I'll start with this one:

I knew my wife was getting ready to go.? So I'd consulted a lawyer and asked what preparations I should make.? Months went by.? Then she set a big party for my 40th birthday at our home for friends and family, all the while swearing we were making progress and"going to make it." ? Low and behold, on the afternoon before the guests were to arrive, I get a call from my attorney.? It seems his receptionist had set an appointment that day with a MRS. Blatnik, to initiate divorce proceedings.? When she arrived, and his receptionist told him that Lucretia Blatnik was here to see him, he recognized the name.? Upon his instructions, his receptionist told her and her boyfriend, who was ?A GUEST AT THAT NIGHT'S PARTY !!!, that that particular firm would be unable to see her, or represent her in this matter.? Made for an interesting party, for me at least.? I NEVER told either one I knew, and filed the next day.

******And duh, Blatnik is not my real name. Used for illustration only.? Hope I didn't offend any Blatniks.:)*******

I you only got ONE .............

11-FEB-09

I am spurred to mention a commencement address by Warren Buffet. He basically stated that as a young man he appreciated cars, and came to think:

WHAT IF YOU ONLY GOT ONE FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE??

You would take loving care of it, maintain it faithfully in the best possible condition, because it was the only one you'd ever get. He went on to bring that lesson to relate to our bodies, with the message that we only get one; shouldn't we treat it with the utmost care, respect and best maintenance practices???

As I drove today, that parallel to relationships hit me.? True, we are handicapped by the knowledge we can get another one, but what if we treated the one we have, or the next one we have, like it will have to last us the rest of our lives?? Can you imagine how great that could be for two people who nurtured their relationship with that goal in mind???? That would have to be as good a recipe for success and happiness within a relationship as it would be possible to grasp.??

Hey, I know it's sappy, and trite. But, how many of you have ever brought that singlemindedness of focus to it??? We do it for other things at which we have succeeded, why not that?????? Well?

Tinkerbelle's New Job

25-JUN-09

To those who do not know, I have discovered our beloved Tinkerbelle's true identity and place of employment.¿¿¿ I hereby call her on it.¿¿ Read on¿:

******************************************************
While taxiing¿at¿London¿'s¿Gatwick¿Airport¿, the crew of¿ ¿¿ ¿¿ ¿¿ ¿¿ ¿¿ ¿¿ ¿¿ ¿a¿US¿Air flight departing for¿Ft.Lauderdale¿made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the¿US¿Air crew, screaming:¿
'US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!'¿

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: 'God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that,¿USAir 2771?'¿

'Yes, ma'am,'¿the humbled crew responded.¿

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking:¿

'Wasn't I married to you once?'¿

MM Blog problems ??

11-MAR-09

A¿ heck of a note !!!!¿¿ The blog on blog problems gets blanked !!!!!!!!!!!¿

This is a reinstatement of my post, asking had anyone gotten any response / service from Customer Support¿ on the blog erasure problems.

I emailed Customer Service, and they asked me to provide the posts that had been erased.¿¿¿

DUH !!!!!

If they were still there to refer to / show text from, we wouldn't be having this conversation.¿¿ I don't copy all my blogs before I post so I can refer to them in my downtime and gloat over how witty or insightful I was.¿

Re-posted 3-12-2009¿