#1 Dating Site for Successful Singles and Admirers
Millionaire Blogs > X_Pers's blogs > Sassism ~ Allowance
Sassism ~ Allowance Sort by:
Author
X_Pers
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 45
Posted on Tue, Apr 16, 2013 15:12

 It's amazing how things dawn on me and when they do. I'm in a serious hugging session with Brenna this morning and intentionally am shooting for a full 30 second hug and about half way through, I feel her acceptance of it..allowing the love I wanted to convey to enter...how often are we that focused to feel that from the other we are loving on? When Brenna was injured, you could only tell periods of wakefulness, pain, or sleep by her heart rate....her little face didn't show any emotion in the beginning, but when it did, the first one was of negative expression. Obviously. It wasn't until almost 6 months later after we brought her home from Kluge that she smiled. 
What a day that was. 

I then realized that I, myself, due to the things that have occurred in my life, have had one major feeling dominating my life inhibiting my ability to "allow" other feelings to emerge. Survival. Heaven knows how much cortisol and adrenaline my body has churned out over the years drowning so many other emotions. I had head knowledge from previous, healthier, happier times that they were there, but didn't give them their due. I have a lot of catching up to do. So, I know this is a bit raw, but I had to get it out because I honestly trust that God doesn't lead my thinking to these places unless I am to move in a better direction and if I'm going into uncharted waters, I am taking a few of you with me. So let's consciously allow ourselves to feel today. Selah

 

 


Available only
to logged in members

Persnickityone

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Jenkneee
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 658
Posted on Sat, Apr 20, 2013 22:05

Hello again :) No need for you to apologize, I just needed a clarification.  I am so sorry to read there was some horrible crash and very serious injury to your daughter.  I am sure she is a great joy in your life though.  She looks happy in the picture you posted.

 

I call my daughter my miracle baby but for a different reason.

 

You do a great job at typing your thoughts out and like I said before, I appreciate your faith in God. I will have to read some more blogs of yours when I get the chance.

 



Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
X_Pers
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 45
Posted on Thu, Apr 18, 2013 06:07

Hi Jenn...I am sorry!   Brenna is my 19 year old daughter...she was injured in a crash over 16 years ago and suffered a broken neck and a severe anoxic brain injury...she's my miracle and that crash brought my family to saving grace that day.   I apologize for being vague!   Thank you for reading my sassisms.  I hope you have a wondrful day! 

 


Available only
to logged in members

Persnickityone

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Jenkneee
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 658
Posted on Wed, Apr 17, 2013 00:49

Hi Selah, hope you are well. One of these days I might catch up a little and read some more blogs. Can I suggest something?  Since some of us are not reading a continuation, I have no clue what "Brenna" is. So writing a detail such as "brenna is my rescue dog I rescued 6 months ago" or whatever the case may be helps. By the way, I appreciate your faith in God, just sayin'!

 

       ​        ​        ​        ​        ​        ​     



Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
X_Pers
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 45
Posted on Tue, Apr 16, 2013 15:14

An Addendum: I told you the above was a little raw. I have to add I realized later that this is really answered prayer...Last night when it was, oh..I don't know like 2:30 in the morning and I still couldn't sleep, I laid some things at God's feet in respect to the above, but not as specific as the issue of allowing emotions. It was more along the lines of "I'm going crazy over this whole loneliness thing, Lord. If this is to be how my life plays out alone, just give me some peace about it or change me." I'm just blown away at this revelation and I know that some of you already have been privy to the process, but for some reason I didn't get it. Asking God for specific things is totally ok...but thinking that He is going to answer or provide in kind, is just well, putting Him on our level...Oh, if He is going to answer prayer, He is going to maximize it so that we don't just receive what we ask for, we participate in receiving it. How many times has God answered my prayer and I was expecting to get the whole thing in a nice neat little package? The actual thing is not as important as the process, the knowledge, the changed heart, the transformation, the new shade of "me" we become while getting to the thing we ask for.
 

 



Persnickityone

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Follow - Email me when people comment