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Posted on Sat, Jan 19, 2013 19:39

Here comes part 2 in my PSYCHOLOGY 101 series:

 

C Y B E R B U L L Y I N G

 

Some of you have only heard about them, some of you have experienced them and some of you might be them.

 

I suggest this to be read in an introspective mode, as I think we all need to introspect ourselves, “look into a mirror” as often as we can in life…to be sure of who we are and who we want to be. We all make mistakes, but unless we don’t try to repair damages or not repeat them etc, we will be stuck on the way and hindering ourselves and/or others from development into a better “version” and reaching a higher ground of existence.

 

It is sometimes easily done, to be absorbed by and to directly/indirectly get caught up into such activities for several people, as many are afraid of being “the outsider” or get “frozen” out by a single bully or her/his group..its just as in schoolyards, except this is an adult playground...but several basic mechanisms are the same…being scared to be left out, many people act beyond themselves, their in real life nature, moral standards etc and give in for "leader/head-bullies" dominant personalities and manipulative traits, and the “head bully”/ring-leader is always keen on making her/his “group” (if it is a group who is bullying) so that her/his “bullying mates” feel less of the “guilt” when bullying and more of it when/if not joining the bullying actions.

 

Cyber bullying is the repeated use of information technology, including e-mail, instant messaging, blogs, chat rooms, cell phones, and gaming systems, to deliberately falsely accuse, discredit, harass, threaten, outsingle/“freeze” out, or intimidate someone.

 

Unlike physical bullying, where the victim many times can walk away, technology now allows for continuous harassment, from any distance, in a variety of ways. It is "an aggressive, intentional act carried out by a group or individual, using electronic forms of contact, repeatedly and over time against a victim”…and it might get worse when/if the victim responds or/and acts against her/his bully/ers. The “head bully” undermines and tries to destroy anyone who she/he perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask…and is quick to try to discredit and neutralise anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors and may pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to hold her/him accountable, perhaps using others' resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people in pursuance of the vendetta.

 

One sad example is Hope Witsell, a student in Florida, who was tortured by classmates after a topless picture of her was discovered and then forwarded via cell phone to the entire school. Hope subsequently suffered months of intense emotional abuse at school. She eventually committed suicide to escape the emotional distress.

 

Victims of cyberbullying are twice as likely to attempt suicide.

 

Experts say anytime you are repeatedly harassed, humiliated or threatened online it's cyberbullying, and teens aren't the only victims.

 

"I hear about adult women retaliating a lot more and retaliating in really vicious ways than men, to the point where sites get shut down, people drop off of sites," said Dr. Cheryl Dellasega, author of “Mean Girls Grown Up”.

 

Dellasega says sometimes mean girls grow into mean women, especially when there's anonymity.

 

"It's like being behind a mask," said Dellasega. "It offers that sort of anonymous screen for a woman to say some things that she wouldn't normally say."

 

Research shows that it is more common of women being extreme cyberbullies than men…I guess “gossip groups/mean ones” have moved to the Internet…I call such “hate squads”.

 

(some info source is online)


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Posted on Wed, Mar 13, 2013 20:08

Police are investigating that a 13-year-old girl who died when jumping in front of a moving train, hit and killed in central Sweden last week seem to have committed suicide after being bullied online.

 

It is a hot topic in Sweden now...as this girl just couldnt deal with all such online hate. May she rest in peace.

 

!WAKE UP PEOPLE!

 

For the bullys out there (with or without the insight)...make a turn and lead by example instead...youngsters are watching and learning....change course and

 

MAKE PEACE NOT HATE


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Posted on Wed, Mar 13, 2013 19:33

Hello there Pernickityone, Thanks for your complements...and I do find what you ar saying here very well put, thanks for that :-)

 

 

As someone from here recenly emailed me casually and happened to mention that some bullytempered kinds are being at it again...I wasnt sure what this was about and where so I was just casually checking around on the blogs to see what more exact this was referred to...as I almost never read any blogs...no time and no interest for many blogs but I do read some few ocasionally, those which I feel have some flare and cultural value in my opinion ie c l a s s...

 

 

...and we just couldnt believe it..me and my friends here sat, had a hot nice cup of green tea to drink and read just one or two comments of that stuff and started LAUGHING AND LAUGHING (as they say ROFL)...poor tea hehe...some are actually making up rule-lists after rule-lists...calling for obediance and judgment and pointing out and pointing fingers..for others how to behave and not to behave...

 

Wait a sec...HAHAHA...who asked them for their opinion or for some groundrules etc? For example having so called "blogged" somewhere for ages after ages doesnt give the "perk" of judgment end absolutely not any golden tiara for that matter...

 

For example MM is a space that belongs for everyone..especially the paying members...so if someone out there (with or without insight) would so desperately need an own "ruled" space and rules etc...then its easy...get your own blogsystem...there are many blogservice providers online outside of this site..this site is primarely for serious relationship seekers who once in a while enjoy blogging..not such kind of a hangaround...I would say this site is about some more class...

 

 

Why are these kind of people even bothered or concerned? Is is "Collectiveness" ...caressing eachothers backs and in order to keep the peace inside the "group" a kind of punchingbad or similar "victim" is needed, in order to get out the steem somewhere, have soemthing more to talk about and continue feel as "one".

 

The oldest bullytricks in psychology books Ööööhh

 

Why even sneakread someone elses blogs, and even when you are being blocked from it..why put such sneakeffort...so why bother so extremely much..why put such importance in what a person or more is/are doing when you have nothing to do with them and you arent welcome to their space...how can you say you dont read their blog but still you roam complaining (this was tested and proven HURRAY HAHAHA) and you read every single one of them...sneakwise offcourse...isnt the entire WorldWideWeb enough of space for you to spit your venom and act out on several issue you are actually and innerly dealing with...so that you need to instruct others how they should stand in line on your imaginary blog highway...wearing your fake 1 dollar tiara...this is too funny to be true! HAHAHAHHA...the sad part...as you say Sass...if they would use all that energy bashing etc on positiveness and bridgemending instead..maybe it would be more pleasent for all...then again..selfinsight is needed.

 

 

Take good care and continue following your passion..and remember...its about quality and not quantity and just because some might scream the loudest doesnt mean their voice is the most real, genuine or valid..and just because you are not being chased with attention..doesnt mean you are not seen, appreciated etc...it again about quality not quantity...and there is something called high culture and popular culture..where popular culture (=general and many times fakish hi hello why yes oh no oh no yes oh-mentality) is for the masses ;-)


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Posted on Wed, Mar 13, 2013 18:35

Dear Mtnsunny, thanks for your sweet care and Im doing just fine...as the year started..the business marathon started and its all about the most fun parts of the year..board (not bored) meetings;-)...travels and what not...so it gives lesser time and priority to this blog thing, as I recently was new on it (when I had some more time at my hand at the end of last year) and I figured I can try it and it was interesting...so offcourse im popping in once in a while to add my special & genuine flare...I´ll keep ya posted homegal :-)

 

Russian spook ship...oh..on my shore..öööhmm...tell me about it ;-)

 

Regarding Stevens comment etc...well...as you know, people can have different types of blogging, some want the tiny bitsy attention (as they might not get i elsewhere..and have alot of time to spray over the Blogsystem) of others and want to comment on everything all the time and have a cord connected between their pulse and the blogsystem..and some just want to be informative (or somtimes else) and mostly share some interesting info and not needing the constant attention and alot of hi hey hello how are you oh yes oh no what! really! I meaaan...come on...di he??!! did she!!! WHAT! OH no..OH YESSS!! and all that timeconsuming empty stuff...called quantity culture...

 

...and I think every ones blogstyle should be respected as no one has the right to judge anyone else and as Stevens say (where is she by the way...?), if a person doesnt like you or what you post...so why even bother reading it to then try insulting it on other blogs or comment on it..which shows the importance they put into you..as someone said..give me a penny for every time a person is jealous or give me the bad eye then I will be the one making money and them losing...this seems to be the case eyh HAHAHA...

 

Personally, I have blocked several from my blogs as I just dont want their presence in my existence...it was MY choice..even though some would try to twist it...which I find really HILARIOUS! HAHAHHAHA

 

This is NOT life, this is a freakin´blog, an online leasure thing (=sometimes)...be happy..live real life :-) get som change..and...GET A LIFE I say to those kind of Oh soo others-blogs concerned people...

 

So Im hoping life is treating you and your family right sweet Mtnsunny :-)

 


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Posted on Wed, Mar 13, 2013 04:05

Morning World!  An excellent blog.  We all need to be reminded that this is something that is ageless and transcends all social barriers.  Women are indeed masters at this as we are more communicative, more relationally equipped to hurt with our words. Just as we are quite capable of applying these skills in a postive and nurturing way as we were originally created for.   Nonetheless, its wrong be it a man or a woman and never welcome.  Thanks!  

 

Sass



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Posted on Fri, Feb 22, 2013 22:31

...Jenknee...all my posts are still on...what cant you see you mean...?



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Posted on Fri, Feb 22, 2013 22:29

Stevens2024...i know several disguise themselves with other alteregos and profiles on here..oh its very sorry for your experience and hope some of the stuff on here can help you realize stuff on the way...you see number one thing is that these people got issues worse than than a tsunami storm within and who can manage a tsunami...no one could or should. One should stay strong and block that kind of people...although in some case when for example blocking the bullyhead and possey...might most probably not be received well and it might increase the amount of venom in their veins..and they might for example just lie straight out to create scenes of fake info to try reviving or keeping their false public image...sadly...on the other hand such reaction only proves several or most of my point etc. here, even more.



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Posted on Fri, Feb 22, 2013 22:18

Dear Jenknee...its nice that you enjoy all this and also had some oractical use of ut..yes..nany bullys are unaware and mostly in denial...its a protection shield for themselves from themselves..to be able to live with the whole ordeal they apply on other humanbeings... Thanks for your encouragement...the thing is that Im soo busy since the year started so Im tryibg to tackle time...dont woery..im here :-) Hugs to all wonderful supporters and thanjs for the encouragement and appreciation both in public and in private...oh..my view on Americans got restored to thinking they are sweet despite some odd witnessing of nastiness by some few.



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Posted on Fri, Feb 22, 2013 13:09

Hello worldmind, hope you are doing well :)  I just saw your reply about 10 days after you posted it, sorry! I just wanted to say thank-you for everything you messaged to me. It's good to have someone else put it in perspective.

 

 

This other site has a history list of any poster's previous comments (up to the last 25 posts I think) so they make it easy for you to see what someone's general attitude is.  It seems to be her modus operandi to bully and get as nasty as possible, she gets off on it!  Since my last post here, I have recieved a few personal messages where they told me nothing was wrong with my profile but something is wrong with the woman who was harrassing me and others.  I also recieved compliments on my strength,etc. which I'm positive that nothing good has happened with this person because of her posts. 

 

Because I copied some of your "traits of a bully", one guy recognized that he was doing it himself to me and stopped but also saw that the main female bully had many of those traits and came to my defense.  He later asked me out on a date which I gave him more than he deserved and POLITELY declined his offer. Ha!  Lol, I don't think he asked HER out afterwards!

 

 

 

"Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other guy dies." 



 

I wish I could still see all of your blogs.  You did a great job of adding some interesting stuff to this site. A lot of us appreciated them, just wanted to let you know!!  Maybe you will come back with a new blog?!

 

 



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Posted on Tue, Feb 12, 2013 00:54

Dear Jenknee..Im sorry that someone put you thru such ugly remarks and bullying and thank your for being courageous enough to share this in public as several are just writing me in private and not feeling comfortable in sharing publically which I also respect..but as you said..this person has alot of issues with herself and most surely she is running a fruitless life...you are strong in her perspective and as she cant take that..she likes subordinate personalities as she likes to have a home made plastic crown on her head to imagine she is a royalty when she in fact is a nobody..oh..yes..she is obviously somebody...a bully-no-body.

 

I can imagine there are such online for a reason..they are losers and whomever they bully are winners...in real life..where it actualy matters. They know this..and that makes them crazy and hence they struggle to bully and do all such. Sorry beings with need of attentiin even if its negative or even if they hurt others...all is about them..their battered ego from reality which they try to put a bully plaster on online by using such platform which is for everybody.

 

In real life these creatures would not even be allowed in the same salons or rooms as their victims as their victims have beautiful lives and they dont..in reality they are the people you just dont even notice on the streets as you pass by in your splendliness and they stand there jealous fuming.

 

She is of no greater value to you..but you are obviously of every value to her...as she puts sooo much energy in trying to put you down...but...she might get some tiny jabs in just by silly online default, but its you who have knocked her out even before any fight started as you were born a better example of a woman and she obviously wasnt. 


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Posted on Tue, Feb 05, 2013 16:29

Worldmind, I would have to be in your exact position to know what you experienced.  I only know my own experiences and they were bad enough!

 

I don't understand how people can be so set on hurting someone, no matter how many times I've been hurt. The bad example of Free Will. In the end, no matter who else knows it, you have won if you don't allow it to change who YOU are.  Unless it makes you become even more compassionate, more appreciate of good people ,etc. Because of what has happened on here and you typing this bullying blog, you helped me so there you go! Something good came out of it :)

 

When I posted some of the bully traits in the other forum, at least one other person did a turnabout when he recognized this woman as a bully. Not that he's the greatest guy but that moment where he called her out helped turn the tide somewhat for me.  When I looked around in some of her posts, i saw that it was definitely a pattern of hers and if she wasn't doing it to me, she was doing it to someone else.  I absolutely didn't take her digs personally, I know what I am and she is just antagonizing me.  Luckily it's over now but I don't think I will so free in posting my opinions there, at least for a while.


This is one of her worst posts she posted to me, I am only posting it as an example of how bad it got.

 

Quote; "Jenny – men are the ones with the penis, so put yours away. Men are not, in large part, attracted to a woman with masculine energy (unless they are a submissive whimp …and that’s a whole other thread). What man would want an AGGRESSIVE, OVERBEARING, DICTATING, CONTROL FREAK, B*TCH! – your posts and your profile ooze of such traits! There is a movie, “The Ugly Truth” …I suggest that you watch it. You, on another thread, degraded the men of California as the dating problem. I think it’s time you looked in the mirror for the source of the problem. " End of quote.

 

Pretty unbelievable of how incredibly nasty a complete stranger can be. I am not going to comment anymore except to say she lied. Like I said, a few came to my side but it took a while.  What on Earth makes someone that bad?! Unfortunitely it really doesn't take much.  I have known people this nasty for years, nothing makes them better, they get worse!!  It is too personal to type about in an open forum and besides that, I chose to have them be in my past.  In the end, I will win.

 


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Posted on Mon, Feb 04, 2013 15:20

RealtorLulu...I think your familymember has a great inner strength which no police or anyone can ever match..:-)

 

Oh and..bullying is not only affecting children or teenagers...obviously some never grow up..hence there is adults being a bully/bullied.


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Posted on Mon, Feb 04, 2013 15:15

Jenknee...oh..yeah I hope you sell your sofa and all will be well...I dont knwo what to do with A...he is rather tidy but yet rather demanding...he was caught by the table munshing a nicely homemade choko tarte the other day ;-)))


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Posted on Mon, Feb 04, 2013 14:58

Jenknee Jenknee...interesting..a woman bullying you hehe..its adding up both my blog on bullying where it is researched that the typical cyberbully "instigator" is a female and also this is interesting if you read my sishood vs. brohood blog...hmm...oh yeah....women are not always angels it seems...although there are a few im sure.

 

 

 

Oh so she was on your case in such manners...what a shame..she seems to have no life other than bullying you..her karma will strike like a tsunami from no where when she least expects it that means...

 

 

 

I can imagine her maybe living on someones sofa, being divorced (or not even ever married as what man would even consider such cheap chick?!), with some teenage (oh poor kid) kid to support, maybe she is hustling at a strip joint or something like that, maybe having some ugly tattoo and some unexplanable piercing and not to forget...an UGLY FACE..a nose which looks like Pinocchios as she lies alot...OoooPSyyy...wait...this might be a psychological reference of projection now...as I recognize such B**** you are refering to...oh..maybe her twin??? HAHAHHAHA

 

 

 

Just sharing an experience of mine...had posted something about this before but I removed it as I wanted this to be more general...but as you are sharing and as this person is STIL roaming around lying and instigating...then...sharing a little....this is very odd...but yet interesting as a psychological study I must say hhahhaa

 

 

Who has been JEALOUS like anything, contacting people behind the scenes asking them not to comment on certain blogs, instigating bad aura on the blogs (I have since some short while ago, been forced to block several who I felt not being worthy my blogs after some disrespectable deeds/comments which Im sure this bullybee instigated..but we are adults and should be able to check facts and make our own decisions instead of thinking blogging with someone for some long time will override the truth and proper moral behaviour), she is spreading lies..such as that SHE blocked me when I am the one who was goldmember FIRST and all the time and had the function to block her and I DID LOONG BACK as she removed 2 very nice and not at all faulty comments from her blog (just due to her mean spirit and no other real reason at all) I had commented on 6 times..and as V told she was whispering stuff in his ears and I can only imagine that some of his venom was hers hence she might be the original one costing him his membership indirectly as she fueled his fire deriving from extreme jealousy as she thinks she is some royalty on here (HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH)...so when I noticed she had removed my comments on her blog...and she had NOT blocked me yet..she wasnt even a paying member (she recently some 2 weeks back became a paying member as someone told me and said "she wants to be able to get more control in the blogs as she is desperate as she feels her imaginary crown being threatened") and I dont think unpaying can block people on the blogs, either way and regardless...I was on her blog site hence I was NOT blocked HENCE I could remove delete my comments MYSELF ie the rest of my 6 blogs (she had removed 2) as I felt she wasnt worthy the rest of my comments on her blog after her doing so, and I had such access still (=not blocked at all by her) so I did press BAN THIS MEMBER from my blogs and thats it...but she is roaming around making up lies lies LIES which can be clearly PROVEN and imagine tht she is (just as the criterias of bullyers are claiming on here) roaming around making people believe "she only wants people to get along" when she is instigating disputes behind the scenes...so awful behavious but yet exactly as this bully profiling is indicating = Pinocchios female alter ego but must say at least Pinocchio was cuter...HAHAHAHA

 

 

 

Imagine this kind people...how cheap...that bullying becomes their strength their air as they have no important life and pure happiness...I know I can almost feel sorry for them..but..I dont really...

 

 

 

Oh yeah Jenknee I also get what you mean about them cheapening the forums/blogs...they are as they are..classless...OBVIOUSLY.

 

 

 

I must say..I truly dislike liars...


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Posted on Fri, Feb 01, 2013 19:27

Quoting RealtorLulu:

Thanks Jen;

 

I know my grandson will be fine because he has us, his family, looking out for him and giving him the support needed. I am very sad for the children who don't have anyone to turn to. The ones who suffer in silence and no one knows their pain until it's too late.

I thank all of you who care enough to take the time to express your disgust with the situation. If we could get more people involved, I'm sure there would be more action taken by the authorities.

I was fortunate to have met the new Police Chief of the city where I lived and that he is a caring, wonderful man. He sat with my grandson and assured him that things would change, and they did.

 

 

 



Good to hear, LuLu and youre welcomed. Your police chief sounds like a great guy!



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Posted on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 18:15

Thanks Jen;

 

I know my grandson will be fine because he has us, his family, looking out for him and giving him the support needed. I am very sad for the children who don't have anyone to turn to. The ones who suffer in silence and no one knows their pain until it's too late.

I thank all of you who care enough to take the time to express your disgust with the situation. If we could get more people involved, I'm sure there would be more action taken by the authorities.

I was fortunate to have met the new Police Chief of the city where I lived and that he is a caring, wonderful man. He sat with my grandson and assured him that things would change, and they did.

 

 

 


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Posted on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 17:35

Okay Worldmind, thanks for the reply.

 

I need to have a garage sale and sell my blue and mauve,flower patterned sofa & loveseat,lol. If I get 200 bucks from those 2 sales, I will be lucky!  I have learned quite a bit in Home Decor since I bought those 2. They were popular at the time! I will never have blue or mauve anything ever again!  I went through several blue sofas so my blue phase is permanently over.



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Posted on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 15:34

Hello Jenknee...thanks for "daring" to post this in public. Oh...I think you are touching some interesting points which I would like to address when I can relax a bit..its been a SUPERBUSY week...so please do excuse me and do allow me to get back to you on this a bit later...just wanted you to know :-)

 

...see I need to fix the "problem" by my 9000 dollar couch first, whos insisting on either trying to give me lectures in medicine or jumping in my couch because he loves Catty ;-))))

 

 

 

 


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Posted on Wed, Jan 30, 2013 14:45

Worldmind, now I am REALLY glad you posted traits of a cyber bully. I felt the need to post them in a forum thread on another site.  There is someone who has been harrassing me and not backing down. I came back at her but not in the way she has towards me although I called her what she is and that is a total B****.

 

 

 

This time I did not mess around and i have asked the staff to remove her profile from the site. I highly doubt that they will.  The site used to be very strict, if you received ONE warning from the site , the second time you disobey, you will get deleted immediately. Some times it really wasn't fair because they had robots pick up certain key words that you typed like "terrorists", 'Nigeria" ,etc.  In political threads, I certainly used those words without knowing the rules and was deleted immediately, never knowing what exactly i did.  I wasn't able to get back on the site till i had a new computer almost 2 years later.

 

 

 

A girlfriend of mine on the same site contacted me and told me she had a female harrass her so much there were over 100 pages of it!!  She hasn't told me yet if the woman was removed completely but the staff did finally remove the thread. The friend who told me is much sweeter than I am in a way because she doesn't have strong opinions in politics,etc so this bully of hers had no grounds whatsoever to do what she did.

 

 

 

I am just hoping today is the last day of this garbage from my current problem. I am letting her have the last say. I never should have even gone on that thread since it had already turned low class. I'm learning, unfortunitely the hard way!

 

 

 

Have a good day!

 

Update:

Good news!! Two of her previous victims (both men) have come to my side and both typed some thoughts of theirs that helped me out in the same thread. After their posts, i think i'm gonna be able to put it to rest and not reply to her nastiness.



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Posted on Sun, Jan 27, 2013 14:36

Hello Worldmind, i just read your latest post with the pretty pic of the girl with the colorful streamers ( not sure what to call those). By the way, that pic is the perfect accompaniment to your post :)

 

I don't have too much time to get into it and i'm sure you have included all the points i could think of already but I'm am going to type anyway.

The thing about being online is these a lot of these bullies feel they are not going to be held accountable so they can post whatever they like when in person, they would never say those things to their victim. They are COWARDS!! Then there are those who aren't cowards, things can get violent then. It is all NOT good.  The tragedies of these poor kids can be devastating to say the least.

I made a couple posts yesterday in a forum on a free, different site.  Certain men feel they can put in a "dig" (negative remark) to a woman and because she is female, she will let it go. Well, excuse me!!  Depending on my mood, sometimes i will let it go but if i do post something back, look out!!  Several may swoop in for the kill!  One is another woman, I call her the Queen B and if you are not in her little hive of workers kissing her a** then you are her enemy. According to her thinking, if a outsider woman comes in with strong opinions, she is on a mission to destroy.  There is a new series for me so it's fresh. I think i will just exit after my last post and let them fight over the remains while of course, bashing my character.

Realtor LuLu, I am so sorry that all happened to your family. I say family because it affects not just one person and obviously you uprooted to get away from it!! I'm glad your grandson and everyone else are in a better place now and hopefully, eventually, it will become a distant memory.



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