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Why can't people be truthful when they communicate Sort by:
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Posted on Tue, May 23, 2006 06:38

Greetings...I have recently been communicating with a member on this site and in the course of our conversations (both written via e-mail and spoken via telephone, she made certain statements about what she was like and how she was that although were not outright lies, were not exactly shining truths either. My question of anyone who may want to forward me their opinion is , why do people misrepresent the way they are when searching for what they sometimes call a "soulmate". Blessings to all Vasilis


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Sinergy
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Posted on Thu, Jun 01, 2006 15:38

Maybe she thought the person she truly is wasn't good enough. As a whole, we have learned to sell anything, even if the details are a little distorted. Lying is never right - whether it's on the net or off. People are human beings and lying to them on the internet isn't a nice thing to do. Just because you can't see someone with your eyeballs, it isn't good to deceive them and play with their emotions.


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Sunshine622
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Posted on Thu, Jun 01, 2006 13:20

Dear Vasilios, As I read the replys to your question, there are a few who truly have hit upon the truth. People are afraid to be themselves. It is sad that one cannot be loved for what is in their hearts and minds, but society has put a high price on image. The real gift at the end of the rainbow will be when you find that one special person who is willing to be themselves with you and will in turn allow you to truly be yourself. Best of luck with your search.


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scarletibis24
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Posted on Thu, Jun 01, 2006 13:05

Isn't it obvious? When meeting or talking to someone new, the majority of people don't act like their normal selves, or are 100% truthful. I think Chris Rock said it best- it's not you going on that date, it's your representative. I think we all want to put our best foot forward, but some feel that the truth about themselves isn't good enough. But if you eventually, genuinely like the person, then perhaps those little white lies won't matter...


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Posted on Thu, Jun 01, 2006 12:20

It's scary. I know a man on here who lied about a lot of things on his profile (I've known him for years). What is sad is reading all the glowing comments women have posted about him. He has fooled them and he has his own little fan club going on. What is sad is that these are mostly not little 20 year olds, but grown up women with successful careers. Why do we believe all this stuff? If you women go for this kind of man, it hurts us all.


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Claudel
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Posted on Tue, May 30, 2006 21:44

Like i've said, people nowadays likes "complex" things since the simple ole fashion things are lost somewhere in time, some wise said... "It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not." I'll tell you there are people and people over the net and dunno if you will belive me or not but over the past years i had a such called "friend" with whom i was spending like 2-5 hours per day playing an online multiplayer game, and last week(after 2 years)I findout that the "SHE" was actually an "HE". So you gotta be really prepared to take things like this seriously when you going out to meet some "blind" date whom you found over the net. Even so i don't really see how can you start a serious relationship with someone if you have lied her/him from the first second.. because eventually you can't live all your life bound by lies... For me lies are like makeup or clothes.. eventually you will loose your cover and the person beside you, will see the real "YOU" and then you could loose everything you've had before... even if you changed.


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KrittiKat
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Posted on Tue, May 30, 2006 15:19

Vasilios, If your name fits your nationality (Greek) you are a true lover of life- people, and HONESTY. Dating is tough these days- why else would we all resort into this internet stuff...But tobe honest, Vasilios, we're all afraid of who we are- and what other people may think of us. If anybody tells you ny diffferent, their lying- or conceited. It's tough...And I think that it sucks- but it's the nature of the beast. Lying is an epidemic in this world...But the good news is..It's VERY difficult to remember your lies- so those who feel it neccessary to lie- will end up looking like in the end. Keep your spirits up- there are many of us that are still good people.


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Claudel
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Posted on Sun, May 28, 2006 13:09

Heh some poeple are just running from their real life problems, hidding themselves over the net and creating some other "personalities" to make them feel better or be someone who they cannot be for real and in real life. You can twist perceptions, reality won't budge.


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Chawni
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Posted on Sun, May 28, 2006 11:53

Thats easy. They are insecure and/or not happy with themselves. I agree with southernstarr2006, people want to be accepted but the truth is if you cant be accepted for who you are, whats the point?


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successnsea
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Posted on Sat, May 27, 2006 19:28

I have met a number of women from this site only to reaffirm the fact that they have a different view of themselves than society does. The major problem is that at the cost of thousands$ trying to find "one", it becomes very frustrating. A "note" to women who are serious, be honest even if you aren't a waif it's OK.


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Posted on Sat, May 27, 2006 12:46

To Emmerald909 Thank you for your replies to the question on my blog. It would be very nice if you and i could communicate via e-mail. If you would like to contact me and start a dialogue please provide me with your e-mail "addy". Blessings to you and all you care for. Vasilis


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emmerald909
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Posted on Sat, May 27, 2006 08:46

Dear V, One other comment for you. As worn out as this may sound, if you continue to truly represent you, one day, you will be visited by that one flower you will be able to observe bloom just for you. And yes, I am a romantic lol.


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emmerald909
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Posted on Sat, May 27, 2006 08:40

Dear V. Unless a person lives this life being truthful to his or herself, they will never be totally honest with others concerning themselves. Sometimes the lies we tell ourselves become our truth and so we deliver in all sincerity these untruths to persons we communicate with. Now, I find it sooooo very interesting and soooooo very sad that we search for a soulmate by misrepresentation. It says to me the persons doing this either prefers to be lied to as they lie to themselves and others others, consciously or otherwise or that they have absolutely no idea what the word "soul" refers to. This I am certain is the answer to your question.


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lustyforyou
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Posted on Fri, May 26, 2006 19:39

I say, "RUN!!!" when you begin to notice a person is a liar. Who cares why they do it, just be thankful you realized soon.


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lcabrera99
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Posted on Fri, May 26, 2006 05:33

I certainly understand. I met someone from this board and he had is height as 5'8" tall and I am 5'7" tall. I know that I should not have been looking down at this guy. I have flat shoes one. He had to be in my estimation 5'5" tall. Very dishonest.


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Thu, May 25, 2006 19:05

People simply want to be accepted...in today's society..the bar is set high..some just do not have the self confidence or high enough esteem to just be who they are. They simply do not feel it will be enough. Sad..as it is ..this is reality...I find it is best to have an open mind .try to hold Conservative expectations And it does not hurt to have a little compassion and understanding.. Dating the Internet way is liken to what Forest Gump's mom states ...." Life's a box of chocolates, Forrest. You never know what you're gonna get." Good Luck.. Be happy Erica Anne"


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Posted on Wed, May 24, 2006 07:00

Thank you all for your communications to my question and I guess I feel that you all raise some very valid points. My only wish is that people be as they are from the start of things as I try not to go into any relationship with preconceptions about how the other person is going to be. Some of the greatest pleasures is watching the "flower" open up and show you its color and share of its scent. It is to bad that some people feel the need to hide what they think are faults from others. In the past i was guilty of the same, but it is a more joyous way to just live without those worries anymore. Blessings to all. Vasilis


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whisperinocean
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Posted on Wed, May 24, 2006 03:00

I think the whole romantic novel thing comes in where the expectation is for the other party to be perfect. I wish people can rather be themselves and not a replica of someone else. The media and Hollywood has alot to do with the way dating is nowadays. You got to be the perfect size, have the perfect bank balance etc etc etc otherwise you're not accepted.


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