Why I scream out must this be
Why I cry painfully must it always be me.
Am I cursed to forever live this way
Am I to be the mind that is always frayed?
What must be done to quench this evil thirst
What solution will make it stop from getting worse?
How can I make the pain just all go away
How will it be possible to make the good always stay
I run around with lidless eyes
Doomed to forever take in all the agonizing lies.
Blood seeps from the corners of my mouth falling down my chest,
My body broken and battered in such a high level of distress.
Why am I cursed
What must be done
How can I live
My eyes forever blinded by the sun
Innocence is pictured differently through many eyes,
Blinded by the sheer beauty of it.
Picture perfect Mona Lisa,
Hard to believe in such innocence.
Innocence can be found in a virgin,
Until the devil cracks his whip with lust and dirty pleasure,
That will be flushed away.
Can innocence be found in me?
After all the crimes I've committed?
Fallen for my guilty pleasure,
I've lies that I'm going to take to the grave.
I have racial views that I'm not proud of.
Innocence that is taken by sexuality,
My love for men cast a shadow over me by many eyes.
Is innocence lost from the day we leave the womb,
Innocence is the eye of the beholder
I was sitting on my bed, on this pathetic, lousy, boring night staring at my sister getting ready for school for the next day I see so much alacrity in her. She always has this funny coerce look on her face, WELL people that means she is out to get someone or something. Alas! My writing has nothing to do with my hapless sister, who of course starts with confidence but try's too hard and ends up not getting what she wantsNone of us get what we want, we always have to settle or the less, well I know I have always have to settle.
Ok so I finally got my lazy bum up from my comfy bed to get my diary in which I write everyday, but tonight I was in the mood of reading my previous entries I was flipping through the pages when I came across something I had written on June 27th 2003 man that was 3 years ago, how time flies. The page was filled with my "so called goals". I was so deterred after reading my goals. I had not fulfilled even one of the 25 goals that I had set up for myself" this is horrible" I thought to myself, "how could I get to incoherent".
After I continued to read the page, I thought to myself where will these goals take me anyway. All my goals were so far fetched anyway. Like being married and having a family by 2004 Alas! As its been said in the Koran, God says." You plan my child, then I will plan, at the end I am after all the ultimate planner."
Life is so darn short.I have met so many people, every single one of them is in search for something or the other. Some in search of love, jobs, money, inner peace.. I don't want to have any goals in life..I want wake up in the morning and smile and start my day without having a to do list for the whole weekgosh if my father reads this I will get a smack on my head as he believes "if u fail to plan you plan to fail".
I will have goals that matter...... like I want to GET RID OF ALL THE FREAKING NEGATIVE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE......for the people who put me down, well you can take your bloody negativity else where as it is not welcome here, people who think that they are better than me YOU ARE NOT. Everyone is EQUAL in the eyes of God. I just want to be happy in my life, Nothing else matters. No riches of the world can buy happiness.happiness is found within an individual's soul....