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szeman
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Posted on Sun, Jun 16, 2013 14:04

By the way, women can read and comment on this too.

 

Whenever I join a singles club or do something like take a dance class, I noticed that there are more women than men that go. I'm wondering why? Being busy is just an excuse.

 

The internet is not only place to find a date. In fact, going out there an meeting women is still the tried and true tested way of meeting the one that you will settle down with. And also try to find hobbies that are great for both genders like dancing. And you don't have to be Fred Astaire to join a class. Hey, there are women out there with two left feet that never danced before, and you won't be judged.

 

I know that you are afraid of rejext, but rejection is a part of life. Have you ever been rejected by a beautiful woman at a bar? How did you handle that? And by the way, the bar isn't the best place to meet a woman you want to spend the rest of your life life, unless you like to get drunk and love having one night stands. That's why not that many men and women want to go to bars because that's all it is.

 

Why not try meeting a woman at a coffee shop. It's easy if you see sitting there by herself reading a book or on her computer sipping a latte. If she rejects you, fine, go on to the next woman. Actually I have had that done to me, but it was at a mall cafeteria. The guys that did this weren't my type to begin with. They were creepy. So my advice is to be genuine and down to earth. Women do like that.

 

For all you men out there that are over 40 and want to date women in their 20s, why not try to expand your horizons and date women in their 30s, 40s, or older? They're not as b****y or always complaining as you think they are. They might at like the 20 year old women that you would love to date. Besides, if you already have been through marriage and kids and don't want to go through that again, but you want to date 20s, I'm sorry, but that is not the way to go. Most women in their 20s have never been married, dream about marriage, and children. They don't know what married life is like and they have never been divorced. Women in their 30s and beyond might have those experiences that you have and they also do not want to go through it again either.

But if you are a man who has never been married, over 40, and still want to date 20 year old women. I understand your logic there, That's fine, but you still might have to expand your horizons. There are women in their 30s and 40s that are in the same boat as you are. And plus you are living in a world where there are lots of ways to start a family aside from just having sex.

See men, there are a lot of choices out there that are not found on the Internet. So go out and learn how to dance or hike with a group, or join meetup.com. Do something and not just sit on the couch, which is something that I am going to get off of right now. I"m going to take a walk by myself.

 



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szeman
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Posted on Tue, Jun 18, 2013 00:10

Hello jstaguy,

At least you know what I was implying. But rejection is everywhere. I mean people looking for work get rejected all the time, until they get hired. But sometimes a blind approach works. The other thing that you have to also assess is what mood the woman is in. Bad moods means rejection. Good moods might mean a friendly chat. 

And you know that I am saying to try more than just the internet. There's also live singles events too! The main thing is to be yourself.



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szeman
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Posted on Tue, Jun 18, 2013 00:04

I was implying to be yourself and not to be creepy. And it's not jumping from table to table at a coffee shop. And you can talk about the book she is reading. That' s a conversation starter. Do not talk about her looks. Besides, there's not that many tables at a coffee shop.

The last guy that I met at a cafeteria was creepy, not only by the way that he looked, but he kept on repeating how beautiful I was.



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rmac22
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Posted on Mon, Jun 17, 2013 14:08

szeman , you said:

 

 

“ Why not try meeting a woman at a coffee shop. It's easy if you see sitting there by herself reading a book or on her computer sipping a latte. If she rejects you, fine, go on to the next woman. Actually I have had that done to me, but it was at a mall cafeteria. The guys that did this weren't my type to begin with. They were creepy. So my advice is to be genuine and down to earth. Women do like that. “

 

 

Bad idea. 

 

 

Do you want to chase all the women out of the coffee shop, or mall cafeteria,  going from table to table? 

 

 

You maybe did not mean it that way, but the implication was, “if the first one rejects you, go on to the next table.”  Don’t think the second lady is going to be flattered to be second choice.  Third lady …

 

 

Maybe you meant try it and if you fail try again another day. 

 

 

RMac

 



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Posted on Mon, Jun 17, 2013 11:08

Ok. I will bite on this one. Not as an angry guy appalled by your writings, but as a guy that doesn't like the bar scene either. When A guy like me see's a woman sitting alone, in any setting, they first have to evaluate what she is doing, decide if they want to interrupt her, determine her age as close as they can get, check for signs of boyfriend or husband, look around for possible people that may be away from her table, subtle small and quick decisions must be determined before he will approach. If after all this, he determines that an approach would be appropriate, he then has to figure out what introduction would be the most likely to get her talking to him. Last but not least, muster the courage to actually do it. If said guy is off on his age guess, mainly on the low side, what time was spent determining his approach is lost. Maybe she rejects him, maybe she doesn't, but what I have found is that more rejections happen on the guys part before he ever approaches any woman. In my opinion, blind approaches would never generate a positive outcome having a long term relationship. You may get a short term one and end in a nasty breakup, you may find the woman of your dreams. Internet dating allows us to avoid the incompatible people before they turn into a bad situation. Again, I am not saying that is a bad thing to blind approach, just that it is more likely to result in a future break up than a future long term relationship.


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