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szeman
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total posts: 18
Posted on Thu, Jun 20, 2013 19:30

Hello All,

I was thinking about another topic to write about. This one came about a week ago, after talking to an attractive young woman (She does have a boyfriend). Like me, she's new to this small town and is from another province (We're Canadian). She was talking about how the women her close to her age ate her job are more cliquely (These are small town girls that were born here and still act like they are still in High School). Oh, this young woman's job is at the Pententiary (However you spell it).

But then she mentioned that she doesn't like being around women all that much because they tend to be mean, and that most of her friends back east are men her age. I actually told her that it's good because one of those friends, might become her boyfriend in the future.

But then that got me thinking about a mistake that I have made when I was 19 or 20 years old. I do remember being just aquaintance type friends with this one guy and the only thing that we did (I think that it was with other people, I can't remember), outside of college, was to go see the movie "Philadelphia" (The one with Tom Hanks). Thinking about it now, I think that he wanted to date me, but we ended up just as friends. He was just a few inches tall and blonde. The only thing that kept him in the friend zone was that he was a nerd. Again that was my mistake.

I also do remember as a kid during class when the teachers wanted us to be in groups, I always ended up with a group full of boys. I was wondering why not the girls. But then again, I realize now that the type of female friends that I wanted were more tomboyish. I've never found a friend that was like that. Then my mother always tried to have me be friends with girls who were more into fashion and being pretty. To note here, I did play with dolls, but most of my play was imitation of what I saw in real life rather than dress up play, I mean that I did cut one of my brother's doll's hair as a toddler, and I accidentally ripped Barbie's head off her neck, just trying to comb the tangles out of her hair. Yes, I was a rough child.

But, now I am thinking that I should have been more friends with boys when I was in High School. I say High School because I was teased sexually in Junior High. Or even college.

I can see why this young woman thinks that it is better to be friends with those of the opposite sex. The big example is how both genders treat gossip. I'll give you another personal example.

This example is both work and school related. I was working part time as a part time File Clerk at a mechanic's shop (There were also two other women working in the office besides myself). And I went to Academy of Learning at the same time. Now sitting at lunch with a bunch of men, I've learn that they love to talk about sports, electronics, and somewhat relationships. If I talk to a woman in her forties about the latest technology, the tech lingo gets past her head.

The topic of the school lunchroom with a bunch of women is exclusively about relationships.

Now how both genders handle gossip.

The men that I work with. I've heard the guys talk about the married boss might be cheating on his with with one of the women at work. Nothing mean or nasty, it's just more like wait and see what happens.

The women that I went to school with. Now the women that I had lunch (Oh Academy of Learning is a correspondence school, but you have to go to the school) where learning to be nursing attendances (Or something like that. I was taking Administrative Assistant). The director of Academy of Learning did teach these nurses and these women hated her. I've heard them complain about her. However, I get along with her without any problems. Case in point, when it comes to gossip WOMEN ARE JUST PLAIN MEAN.

My point is that it's great to have friends of the opposite for two reasons that have to do with dating.

1). This one is difficult because it is all about getting out of the friend zone. Yes, you can be more than friends, and the benefit is that they already know you before either of you got serious. But the difficulty is trying to get used to the idea that becoming more than friends. Also, the friend might not want you to be the boyfriend/girlfriend.

2). If you can't get out of the friend zone, that friend will be a great network in finding you a date. Yes, it could be a blind date. But it's great.

I wish that I could follow my own advice. And by the way, I do work with a bunch of men at theis small town radio station. However, all but one is married. The one that isn't married, already has a girlfriend, and I am not that attracted to him anyway. However, it's hard to find a date in a small town.



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szeman
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total posts: 18
Posted on Fri, Jun 21, 2013 18:17

danser,

You're right. I didn't mean to pigeon hole anyone. I do like that women welding, fly planes, build cars, and yet remain sexy.

And there is always issues with the friend zone and blind dating.

And I also experience men being mean to me personally. I've been sexually bullied and it did feel like a mental rape. At that time, I did realize that how come my father and my brother treat me fairly and those boys at school don't? So that was my introduction to mean men. I know that there are some men that are mean with gossip. 

And it is good to be friends with both sexes because they are not all black and white.

By the way, I don't mean to be pigeon hole anyone again. But this reminds me when I was 10 years old and playing floor hockey with my classmate. The gym teacher did separate us into two boys and two girls teams. Otherwise, boys against boys and girls against girls. My team Captain was the ultimate tomboy and she did play with the boys teams if one guy was sick. And she was the one who decided to take me out of defense and score a penalty shot (Which was my first ever goal in a school team sports). It ultimately got me out of defense and score more goals for my team. It also taught me to find the weakness in the other team. Otherwise my team always beats the other girls team.

And also, try to use your female friends to find dates as well.

I wish that I can use my male co-workers, but I have to trust my instinct on that one. But then again, who knows? I did trust one of the guys when it came to networking with a local television station today.



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