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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Sun, May 21, 2006 14:13

I felt this was worth posting again... In the past weeks I have noticed the quality of blogging content has diminished...Individuals have posted negative feelings and emotions..disappointments and frustrations and some I have read our even hopeless in their attitudes...there are so many why me stories that are sad..and tug at ones heart. There have been many negative accusations.. responses and attacks on others. Although I do understand the disappointment and frustration with the technical side of it all.. what totally escapes me is why this venue which can be used as a positive bridge to reaching out to others has become a catalyst for some to stroke their egos ..judge and condemn others unfairly and to even attack the natures of those they have never met. Is it any wonder why we do not receive expected results here... What motivates us to feel we can judge others without walking in their shoes...All I know is I am farthest thing from being perfect...I am the last to judge anyone...I feel I have been fortunate here and can say I have had a very good and pleasant experience. For there are so many good people here..people who are generous and open with their love and kindness. There is always something good and positive to learn from others ..I guess I am wondering why not choose to be a light unto the world ..why not be that one candle that reaches out and lights another ..and another..and another. I feel that it is important to understand that our attitude and behavior are important to the out come and results we receive....looking at the world through the eyes of reality is a good and positive thing..this is not a perfect world and there are no perfect people...accepting this and controlling our reactions and behavior is paramount. True happiness is found within us. It is wrong to expect someone else to bring us the happiness we are seeking need and want. I believe if we accept and acknowledge that we are accountable for our own life and our happiness...this is when we truly grow and become all we can be..perhaps by doing this then our dreams will be met. We cannot dodge responsibility for how and why our life is the way it is. If we don't like our jobs, we are accountable. If we are overweight, we are accountable. If we are not happy, we are accountable. We are creating the situations that we are in and the emotions that flow from those situations. When we play the role of victim, or use past events to build excuses. It guarantees us no progress, no healing, and no victory. We will never fix a problem by blaming someone else. It does not matter whether the cards that we have been dealt are good or bad, we are in charge of ourselves now. Every choice we make.. including the thoughts we think .... have consequences. When we choose the behavior or thought, we choose the consequences. If we choose to stay with a destructive partner, then we choose the consequences of pain and suffering. If we choose thoughts contaminated with anger and bitterness, then we will create an experience of alienation and hostility. When we start choosing the right behavior and thoughts.. which will take a lot of discipline.. we will get the right consequences. We need to remember we are in control...be positive ..be happy ...find the strength that lies within you...We need to get real with ourselves about life and everybody in it..We need to be truthful about what isn't working in our lives. We need to stop making excuses and start making results. We need to decide who we are .....we know and experience this world only through the perceptions that we create...We have the ability to choose how we perceive any event in our life ..no matter what the situation, we choose our reaction, assigning meaning and value to an event. By doing this we do not have to be a victim..Instead we will be a victor... Remember that there is power in forgiveness... We must open our eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to us..Hate, anger and resentment are destructive, like a cancer they eat away at the heart and soul of the person who carries them. They are absolutely incompatible with our own peace of mind , our joy and our relaxation..Negative emotions change who we are and contaminate every relationship we have. They also are just plain unhealthy and take a physical toll on our bodies....including sleep disturbance, headaches, back and neck spasms , and heart attacks..remember forgiveness sets us free from the bonds of hatred, anger and resentment. The only way to rise above the negatives of a relationship in which we were hurt is to take the moral high ground, and forgive the person who hurt us. Forgiveness is not about another person who has transgressed against you; it is about you. Forgiveness is about doing whatever it takes to preserve the power to create your own emotional state. It is a gift to yourself and it frees you. You don't have to have the other person's cooperation, and they do not have to be sorry or admit the error of their ways. Do it for yourself. Perhaps if we look within ourselves...take a reality check...perhaps then we will realize that we are the ones who are in control of our own happiness ....... Remember that each one of us hold the power within us to change and to create our own situations...decide what we want ..define our goals make our own choices and to reach out for what we truly want and deserve. Be positive .. be happy...and be complete. Take care.... Posted by southernstarr2006 on 20-MAY-06 [Remove] GeminiDi (Woman,44, Russellville, AL, US ) comments (8) View my blog southernstarr, I am glad you reposted this because it's the first time I've read it. What wonderful insight you have! Thank you for this blog. :-) Posted by GeminiDi on 21-MAY-06 [Remove] [Ban this member] This user is hidden. southernstarr2006 "Angel Girl" No need to be insulted....The Weight Issue is not the Issue..It's all about how we respond. How we judge unfairly how we take control of our own lives. I refuse to get into the thick of all of this.. I simply say we should hold and maintain a positive view and attitude..Why let others define who we are. We are all special and unique in our own way. Why give weight to insults..attacks on our character our person...the way we look don't look..people who insult others are usually very insecure and unhappy individuals.. The important thing is to like who we are. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is true. We are all beautiful in our own ways.. It is the inner beauty that truly shines...and no matter what our individual tastes are..or what qualities we look for..it is this beauty that truly wins out. The heart the soul and the spirit..if these are not true or not beautiful then we have nothing. Man or woman.. Take care angel girl ..your beautiful and obviously have a passionate heart... thank you for posting.. Erica Anne.. Posted by southernstarr2006 on 21-MAY-06 [Remove] angelgirl1480 (Woman,38, Millbury, MA, US ) comments (22) View my blog Thats all very nice deary but there are people on this site that are blatently insulting others. WEIGHT, AGE, SOCIAL STATUS, ETC. Frankly one the perps I actually liked, found very talented etc. I have now read enough of the slander to change my opinion. Its pretty sickening. It just keeps getting worse and worse, and they are the ones that keep bringing the issues up! I am responding but am sick to death of it and the insults to these women including myself that are involved. As for the weight issue I am so insulted I will not bother to respond to that comment of yours, for most of the women insulted by the weight issue are in fact not fat, and do not need a diet! A few very good members like Bobby Fisher are hiding. I don't blame them, for I too am about to do the same. I do love the people here, the brain power, etc. What I hate is the bickering and the slander of one another. Posted by angelgirl1480 on 21-MAY-06 [Remove] [Ban this member] This user is hidden. southernstarr2006 S. " Trying again...thank you. I did receive your email..thanks for the encouragement. Let me know if you can see this? Erica Anne

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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Fri, Feb 09, 2007 08:35

Thank you so much BL for your suggestion...I made a point to watch Oprah..a friend is sending me the DVD..can't wait to get it..I have heard nothing but good about " The Secret " One can never stop learning or growing... Erica Anne @}----


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BlueEyz2006
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Posted on Thu, Feb 08, 2007 22:18

Dear Erica, Apparently "The Secret" is going to air on Oprah's show on February 8th. I'm not positive about the date so you might want to confirm at her site.


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Thu, Feb 08, 2007 14:17

They are talking about the secret....I have practiced this way of thinking for some time now....It truly works... What A Gift....it is a positive attitude...action...desire..expectation.... one could say a positive projection of energy released..that will bring back same.... Erica Anne @}------


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Wed, Nov 22, 2006 13:32

Nishm..have to say I agree..with you... I appreciate your post...thanks.. Erica Anne@}------


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Tue, Oct 03, 2006 07:03

Jess ...Wow..thank you sooo much for your kind and generous compliments... I have been keeping up with your post and blogs...you are a positive light here as well...Being positive is a choice. To me an easy one. Why let all this negative stuff get to us..why let any of it ruin one's day..sour one's world. Its like the rain...one can choose to just see the dark clouds and a dark sunless day or one can see it as natures way of bringing refreshing nourishment to the earth..It is a matter of choice and one's perception... thank you for posting Jess.. I look forward to reading more of you.. Be well.... Erica Anne@}-------------


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Doe2Vixen
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Posted on Tue, Oct 03, 2006 05:34

Erica, All I can say is Thank You for that breath of fresh air in a world full of smog and haze. Thank you for giving me some light and inspiration to see my way through the glare. You are an endless insurmountable amazement in your service to God. A light in a darkened world ,to us all. I believe everything in our life happens for a reason, not always knowing what the reason is. You are truly a blessed woman both inside and out. Jess

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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Sun, Sep 10, 2006 19:21

I want to thank you Steel Magnolia..you always have something positive to add...I had forgotten this one..it seems to get lost in the shuffle...thank you for the advice on the book...It is my intention to check it out... Erica Anne@}------


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CDinCO
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Posted on Fri, Sep 01, 2006 19:02

You are always such an eloquent writer, I'm glad this came about again as I wasn't around here in May. I will tell you that the entire experience at the end of July was intended to be satyrical, not serious but there were a select few who didn't comprehend that fact. Unfortunately I developed the snowball effect that I feel has melted almost to totality and those who appeared foes are now actually friends. .... I just wrote this big huge post and decided I really didn't need to. Everybody here, especially you Erica Ann, have said it all. I'm glad it's over and I would like to think that it won't come back but not only are there people who STILL can't let go, it is apparent this isn't the first round you've witnessed. I would like to think we could all live happily in 'blogland' but there's always that red-headed stepchild. You are beautiful. Thank you for being here to remind us of what's really important!!!


Courtney :)

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primemate
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Posted on Sun, Aug 06, 2006 16:55

Well written and great insight. Thank you!


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Sun, Aug 06, 2006 16:40

Thank you magnolia...love that movie..No I am not aware of this author or her books.. but I promise to check her out... thank you so much for sharing...Don't be shy just jump in and write your heart out..there is always something to learn from everyone....hope to see you again ..take care and be well.... Thank you for posting.. EricaAnne@}-----


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Sun, Aug 06, 2006 16:34

Gem..its is so good to see you...where have you been...you are so sweet and beautiful..I thought some lucky man had won your heart. Please...Don't be a stranger..it is always good to hear from you... Erica Anne@}---------


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Sun, Aug 06, 2006 16:30

Nishmi...your words make me think..about that old saying.." What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" Thank you for posting.. Erica Anne@}------


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sepelo7
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Posted on Fri, Aug 04, 2006 17:05

So I have to ask . .. are you and Lance getting it on???


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Wed, Aug 02, 2006 08:32

Laniems..you are so right on...Its all about taking responsibility for our actions... Thank you so much for posting erica anne@}------


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Posted on Tue, Aug 01, 2006 07:19

Most people tend to choose the easiest way in any path they take...it is natural...but f we stop and just think for a second...we will realize that f we choose a more difficult way in our path in life...we will achieve greater accomplishments...being negative is always easier than being positive...pointing the finger is easier than offering a helping hand... 2 b happy u must choose the difficult way rather than the easy way...u might not succeed but u will look back and have no regrets... check out the path of least resistence great book. keep it up Erica...


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Posted on Mon, Jul 31, 2006 07:32

Dear southernstarr, After reading your thoughtful post it struck me that you may be the kind of person who would enjoy the writings of Anne Lamott. I own all of her books and she is the type of writer you can just sit down and pick up any of her books, open to a page... any page and savor her wit and truth. You may already be a fan. If not, please look for her books in any local bookstore. I promise you will not be disappointed. Thank you for providing this blog and heartfelt insights. You voiced what I had been feeling for days, yet my cowardice forced me to silence. Indeed, the world would be a better place with more people like you in it just as heartandsoul writes.


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Wed, Jun 21, 2006 07:10

You are so welcome and I Thank you Eric, Loriann and Lance it is great to know that my words and thoughts are having a positive impact. erica anne


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efarbs
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Posted on Sun, Jun 18, 2006 00:10

What a wonderful, wonderful post. Thank you for writing it. Eric


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southernstarr2006
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Posted on Sat, Jun 17, 2006 09:57

Exactly Morning Angel ..life is full of adversity..trials..tribulations..disappointments..heart breaks..etc...We can't let it make us become bitter..angry ...are resentful these are like a cancer growing within us...if we let it ..it will literally eat us alive not only just physically but our heart..soul..and spirit...forgiving heals the heart and that malignant cancer growing with in us. We just have to pick ourselves up dust ourselves off...and get back on that horse again and again and again.... wink Thank you for posting Erica Anne


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