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GAY, STRAIGHT OR TAKEN
108 Views
06/01/07
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The other day I was watching a show called GAY, STRAIGHT OR TAKEN, and I started wondering about my experiences in that regard. Should I call it bad luck or a bad eye toward picking the right guy? One of my experiences with dating web sites was with a guy from NYC; good looking, funny, well educated. Since he was in NYC, he told me he would visit a friend who lives in Florida and he would meet me. He did it. First thing I noticed was that he was very close to his friend Jim (you will see why a few lines below). One day after having a wonderful dinner I invited him for a drink at my place, he accepted and after our first drink we started kissing. There was a lot of passion but that's all it was, just kisses, he didn't want to go further and all the sudden he said he needed to go. I asked why and he said because his friend Jim would be upset if he didn't return home that night. I insisted and again he suggested how upset Jim would be. Oh I forgot to mention that we went out one night with his friend Jim and one of HIS boyfriends and yes! Jim is gay. That's O.K. , nothing against gay people. I still wanted to think my guy was just very open minded and didn't care about having a gay friend. I also wanted to think that he wanted to go slow which is OK too or maybe he didn?t have nice underwear on at the time. After that night we still went out several times and nothing ever happened between us other than kisses. Not that I was in a rush to jump in bed with him but I also saw how special he was with his friend Bill. My conclusion: My guy is as GAY as his friend Jim, he probably is still in the closet, simple as that. We are still in touch and he still doesn't have any girlfriend and he won't because he is GAY. About the guy who is TAKEN; I met this handsome guy, oh my God he was like a prince, so charming, sweet, educated. So he invited me to dinner and for some reason we started talking about girls who don?t care about dating married guys. All I kept saying the whole night was that I would never date a married guy so at the end of the dinner he confessed his crime: he was actually married and he wasn't wearing his ring because he gained weight and it didn't fit any more. He apologized and end of story. And about the STRAIGHT ones and available, I just don't find anyone that I like, am I picky or what? Are my expectations and standards too high? Am I unrealistic? Does my match only exist in my mind?. One thing is for sure, joining dating web sites has been a learning experience that has made me less naive and more aware that we all can be a victim of someone out there who is GAY, STRAIGHT OR TAKEN. We just need to detect the red flags in time.
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SHOULD I KEEP TRYING?
419 Views
05/11/07
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I have been joining dating websites on and off since 1999.I realized there are 2 types of people (men and woman) who join this websites. I'll be adventurous with the numbers, I would say that 50 % of the people are serious about looking for relationship and the other 50% are playing games. In this last 50% you will find 4 categories:
LOSERS: Easy to recognize them, they won?t place a picture of them and if they do it then it's a picture of them when they were still good looking, slim and with hair. Most of them say in their profile that they have a few extra pounds? when you meet them, they are a big meat ball, nothing against fat people, but ? please just tell the truth.
CYBER FAN: People looking just for cyber sex even if they are single still that's all they want, it's fun, cheap and commitment free. They will always find an excuse not to meet you in person, however they will try to keep in cyber touch. I understand the webcam is a very helpful tool to verify the other person's pictures and why not? also to get closer to that potential candidate. It's so valid till they start asking you to see your shoulder, legs or more, forget it, then you will know that all they want is cyber sex. Is not that I'm so old fashion but for me to go to that level I have to be in a relationship already. Is definitely not something that I do with someone that I haven't even kissed.
CHEATERS: Most of them live in another town or state, they are married people or with some type of committed relationship. Their lies will last till the minute that you want to meet them in person, some of them will even go to meet you, spending money on a trip is nothing for them, but everything will end when you will start asking questions. Then they will just vanish or will give you all type of excuses, like work, family problems to solve etc. But wait, they will try again later when they think you don't have questions any longer so maybe this time they can make it, not with me honey, move to the next profile.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: People who obviously don't want any type of commitment, just want to have a good time and if it is with someone different every time even better. This last category is the less dangerous and more normal to meet them everywhere not only in these websites.
The fact is that people today want everything but commitment, especially guys, and I hate to admit it, but women want and need the commitment. When a woman says that marriage is not important for her, she is not telling the truth. Even to me, the run away bride, as my friends call me, marriage is important.
Now, I have to say that I also have met the other 50% that I mentioned at the beginning , wonderful people who I?m still in touch with and they were actually serious about looking for their partner in life, unfortunately I wasn?t even attracted to them or it wasn?t the right time for me, I was in that website to make new friends without knowing that there are another websites just for friends and even for married people, So, if you guys are NOT looking for a serious relationship please sign up for the right website or at least tell the truth and if you girls are looking for a serious relationship be prepare to deal with the 4 categories I described above. Some women have the fantasy about making her guy change his mind, well girlfriend sorry, that rarely happens so focus ONLY on those profiles that mention SERIOUS, LONG TERM relationship.
You are probably wondering why I haven?t met Mr. Right in any of these websites? Very simple, I was engaged and after we broke up, we were on and off for a while and in between every break was when I started joining some dating websites, and the rest is history. Why am I still joining dating websites?, because I don't have time to go out and meet guys and more importantly because I want to believe in people. Pay attention to the warning signs that will tell you in what category is that person, then is up to you. Good luck with your search
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