Member's Blog > Rmac22's blogs > How much “get there” time is reasonable for starting a LTR
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Posted on Sun, Feb 09, 2014 20:35

Quoting 3345roc:

That seems odd to me.  I may be in the minority but as I've aged  I find it takes more time and a truly gifted partner to "prime the pump" so to speak.  If a blue pill is involved, the lag time allows for some interesting foreplay.  When I first saw those ads regarding the 4 hour phenomenon when you're supposed to call your doctor I thought "hell no, call your girlfriend".

 

As you age and the horizon becomes visible you realize how precious each remaining hour becomes. Two hours of foreplay,play and afterplay is time well spent. 


Ok....so a light bulb just came on for me.  When I say seduce, you think 'having sex', but I'm thinking about the guy that tucked my hair behind my ear.  To me, that was pretty much the sexiest thing that has ever happened to me ....errr....ok....it was in the top 5 sexiest.  lolol  But seriously....even though I almost swooned we did not have sex....but I sure started thinking about it!!   

 

Perhaps that's the problem.  A lot of men think seduction is foreplay.  Seduction comes before foreplay.  I think in the old days it was called "charming a woman".  Charm is more than just good manners. 

 

If a man fails to sufficiently 'charm' a woman....it's not going to work.  A woman's brain has to get turned on.....before her body ever will.  She's going to get mad if the man tries to go straight for the foreplay.

 

Seduction is the art of making a woman think it's her idea to have sex.



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Posted on Sat, Feb 08, 2014 10:03

Quoting 3345roc:

What fun is that?  I don't get many requests these days but when I do I jump on it... let me rephrase, I slowly move my walker with the tennis balls on the legs.. there quite slowly.


Lolol….that’s why I prefer older men.  Not only do they seem more appreciative of uninhibited females, their atherosclerosis seems to preclude clear vision.  My biggest objection is that older guys don’t seem to want to waste time seducing a woman into becoming a girlfriend.  They want to get right to it, as if you’ve been married for 30 yrs.

 



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Posted on Thu, Feb 06, 2014 21:58

Quoting rmac22:

Diana, I've been taking notes you know.  I think I have the tactics down.  Now have to practice carrying them off.

 

RMac



Lololo.....gooood!  I figured you'd get it.  *wink*



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Posted on Thu, Feb 06, 2014 20:43

Quoting 3345roc:

That's why I only date women who wear glasses.  I insist they remove them before I disrobe.... I look up to 20 years younger depending on their degree of myopia.


I think most people should probably try to keep their clothes on for as long as possible.



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Posted on Wed, Feb 05, 2014 17:59

Quoting Diana3316:

 

Yes, there were the initial 90 days, but it started out pretty slow.  I actually wasn’t that keen on him initially.  I’d already had one relationship with a horseman and definitely did not want another!!  I even told him that “he did not meet my criteria.”  That might have been kinda mean, but I wanted to make different choices this time around.  He said “ok” in his nice, easy going style, but he kept coming around asking me out and I kept saying no.  (I was running a horse training operation on my farm and he would stop by to see how the horses were doing)  I remember the first actual date we had.  My son was 4 ½ years old and he asked if I wanted to take my son to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo.  Now I’m not much into rodeos…..but I thought it would be fun for my son….so I said ok. 

 

I remember, some folks from my home town saw us there together and I was really embarrassed to be seen with him.  This guy had a reputation for being a ladies man and I didn’t want rumors getting out that we were dating.  I wasn't near as sassy as I am now.  You can blame him for that!

 

We watched the rodeo and then went walking around all the booths.  We got some hotdogs and I can’t really remember how it happened….but I went somewhere….maybe to the restroom or something….and when I came back….there was my son in a Davy Crocket raccoon hat with a small canteen in a leather pouch around his neck.  My son was just beaming with excitement as he exclaimed that my date had gotten this canteen for him….”and LOOK there’s water in here!!”  We had to keep refilling it because my son kept drinking the water.  My son was so happy….and my icy heart was melting.  *wink*

 

 



Diana, I've been taking notes you know.  I think I have the tactics down.  Now have to practice carrying them off.

 

RMac



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Posted on Tue, Feb 04, 2014 19:05

Quoting rmac22:

 

Diana,


You had a 90 day warm up time.  Maybe that’s what I should do.  Persuade some lovely lady to move here for 90 days. 


I would be willing to drive 5 hours maybe nore to do the persuading.  : - )


 

RMac


 

 

 


 

Yes, there were the initial 90 days, but it started out pretty slow.  I actually wasn’t that keen on him initially.  I’d already had one relationship with a horseman and definitely did not want another!!  I even told him that “he did not meet my criteria.”  That might have been kinda mean, but I wanted to make different choices this time around.  He said “ok” in his nice, easy going style, but he kept coming around asking me out and I kept saying no.  (I was running a horse training operation on my farm and he would stop by to see how the horses were doing)  I remember the first actual date we had.  My son was 4 ½ years old and he asked if I wanted to take my son to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo.  Now I’m not much into rodeos…..but I thought it would be fun for my son….so I said ok. 

 

I remember, some folks from my home town saw us there together and I was really embarrassed to be seen with him.  This guy had a reputation for being a ladies man and I didn’t want rumors getting out that we were dating.  I wasn't near as sassy as I am now.  You can blame him for that!

 

We watched the rodeo and then went walking around all the booths.  We got some hotdogs and I can’t really remember how it happened….but I went somewhere….maybe to the restroom or something….and when I came back….there was my son in a Davy Crocket raccoon hat with a small canteen in a leather pouch around his neck.  My son was just beaming with excitement as he exclaimed that my date had gotten this canteen for him….”and LOOK there’s water in here!!”  We had to keep refilling it because my son kept drinking the water.  My son was so happy….and my icy heart was melting.  *wink*

 

 



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Posted on Sun, Feb 02, 2014 21:43

Quoting 3345roc:

Naked tax prep.. that could work.  I think Diana came up with something too.  I believe it was Cloris Leachman who said the best marriages happen to people who live in different states.



I was thinking more of the seeing each other at our worst.  Hopefully being naked isn’t at our worst.  Maybe save a lot of time though.

 

RMac

 



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Posted on Sun, Feb 02, 2014 12:20

 

leonicyirgo

 

an hour on the open road is a lot different than an hour in city traffic. 

 

 

RMac

 



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Posted on Sun, Feb 02, 2014 12:07

 

Diana,


You had a 90 day warm up time.  Maybe that’s what I should do.  Persuade some lovely lady to move here for 90 days. 


I would be willing to drive 5 hours maybe nore to do the persuading.  : - )


 

RMac


 

 

 



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Posted on Sun, Feb 02, 2014 11:51

 

3345roc, 

 

I agree on the 30 to 40 minutes travel time.  Maybe even up to an hour.  Also agree you need lots of ordinary time, non-quality time, not just special events. 

 

I figured helping a lady doing her taxes would be stressing enough on both to sort out whether or not each could stand the other even under stress.  I did that once.  She still liked me afterwards.    

  

 

RMac



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Posted on Sat, Feb 01, 2014 14:17

So 60 to 80 miles out.

My former spouse ate taco's as a mainstay when I met her, so I decided to cook her a dinner at my house, and transport it there.  I was 3 hours late from the original time, and she was concerned. I did keep in touch with her inbetween. Now that is excessive, and not tolerated in this age, but the HOT chicken/beef,soft rolled enchilada's(sour cream,LV1 spiced mix) with cheese garnish,and spicy rice& beans; not to forget the chips & special LV1 green sauce, and Bean-o... helped to quench that Scotch-Irish Canadian, hot redheaded, leoness flame that had potential(2 Leos..fire signs..Hmmmmm). We made a nice time of Galveston afterwards.

I find an hour's driving relaxing. It frees the mind before the 3rd meeting....In a restaurant, or other. That food sure smelled great along the way!



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Posted on Sat, Feb 01, 2014 12:00

I would go anywhere....any time....for a man that I was crazy about!  If I had to drive, climb, fly.....well maybe not too much walking..... but any amount of distance and/or time if I wanted him!!!

 

 

That's how my 14 year relationship started....long distance.  There were exactly 90 days between the first time we met and the day he drove away to another state to work, from March-Dec....then back for 90 days and gone again Mar-Dec.  That went on for the first 3 years....and I was absolutely crazy about him!  No other man would do!

 



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Posted on Sat, Feb 01, 2014 09:36

3345roc,

 

Helping a lady with her taxes? 

 

 

RMac



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Posted on Fri, Jan 31, 2014 21:32

Quoting Curious2078:

Pretty much depends on how much potential you think this "date" has.  If you think not much, forget it.   If you think there's something "there," go for it despite the travel difficulties.  if the date turns out to be a no-go, at the very least you've learned how to navigate through areas of your city you didn't know how to navigate through before.  Or so it seems.  LOL


Curious,  


Well, I wouldn't go in the first place if I did not think there was potential.  Having been pleasantly surprised a few times and well maybe just surprised a few times I try not to overly crank myself up in advance. 


If you drive four hours to get there, have dinner and pleasantly chat for a few hours and then drive four hours home you have put in a long night. 


So, there obviously are some boundaries, but what are they? 


Time together is what establishes a LTR.  Lots of time.  Some of it just having coffee or some such.  Meeting for breakfast on the spur of the moment.  Special time together, but the reason it is special is the person and not necessarily the event.  Some special events too. 


Routinely and regularly meeting.  How often, two or three times a week?  One hour driving time as an upper bound?

 


RMac

 

 



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Posted on Fri, Jan 31, 2014 17:38

Quoting rmac22:

 

 How much “get there” time is reasonable for starting a long term relationship (LTR)

 

 

 

To get around in a heavily populated area, miles are a useless term.  Time to get there, rush hour and non-rush hour, is how people here usually answer when you ask them how far away something is.  If they give you the miles, the usual follow up question is how long does it take you to get there. 

 

 

 

Rush hour is itself no longer an hour.  2 to 4 hours usually.  Staggered starting and quitting times is part of the reason.  More people drive on some days also.  Flexible starting and quitting times at some companies adds a certain randomness too.   

 

 

 

So, what is a reasonable amount of travel time to routinely and regularly travel to see a date?  Someone with whom you would like to establish a LTR?

 

 

 

How often do you need to see this person to establish a LTR?

 



Pretty much depends on how much potential you think this "date" has.  If you think not much, forget it.   If you think there's something "there," go for it despite the travel difficulties.  if the date turns out to be a no-go, at the very least you've learned how to navigate through areas of your city you didn't know how to navigate through before.  Or so it seems.  LOL



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