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DECIPHERING A WOMAN'S PROFILE: PART 1 Sort by:
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Rihanna
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Posted on Thu, Nov 05, 2009 15:14

Hello ladies and gentlemen,I found this article on the org and just had to share it with you.IT IS SO DAMN FUNNY,or so I thought and would love to hear your opinions about it.Of course,I being a lady would refute some/many of the points :-).So here we go!! 1) Profession: If they say they are "self-employed" or "consultant" or "other", that sometimes means they are unemployed or are licking envelopes at home. Note that there are genuine entrepreneurs out there, but you have to proceed with caution when you see this listed, and things aren't always what they appeared. One time a woman listed herself as working in real estate--and she was a secretary in a real estate office (I guess the office was her real estate). If you're an intellectual type, you're probably going to stick with people who have graduate degrees. While there is no firm correlation between professions and personality types, there is a loose correlation in many cases. People who work in... Advertising/PR/Fashion: Tend to be very fancy-fancy, Long painted fingernails, equally pointy shoes, chemical smell. Lawyers: Tend to prefer expensive, foreign dinners. Many though not all tend to be dry (not very active personalities). Teachers: Tend not to have a lot of brainpower, though there are exceptions. Remember, if they can get their intellectual stimulation working with first graders, they're not going to be able to provide you with very much. Social workers: Shallow, but like fancy meals. Human Resources: Very long fingernails and very shallow personalities. Sales: Shallow personalities, but tend to be fancy-fancy. Computer types: They can be nerdy, lacking social skills, etc., but there can be exceptions. Artists: They can be very interesting, but they can sometimes also be flakey, and off the wall bizarre. MBA's: Varies. Marketing types tend to be less intellectual; financial types tend to be dryer and less people-oriented. But some can be lively and interesting. Doctors: Varies. Some can be very interesting. Others can be surprisingly dull and boring. Be aware that when you date someone, you're going to hear an earful about their work. So if the antics of first graders doing finger painting doesn't interest you, don't date an elementary school teacher. 2) By their grammar. Grammar can be a great IQ filter. Is the writer unaware that the letter "I" is capitalized? That spaces come after periods and commas and not before? That sentences merely featuring a long string of adjectives "Kind,loving,friendly....." are not real sentences? This may sound picky, but if a person doesn't know how to write, they often do not know how to speak our wonderful language. Maybe this isn't a problem if you don't mind dating a person who uses the words "like" and "stuff" with tremendous frequency. One time I dated a doctor (!) who ended every seventh or eighth sentence with the words "dadada" like Monica Lewinsky did. I started to do the same thing to imitate her but she never noticed. 3) I'm too sexy. If a person describes him or herself as "sexy", especially in the first sentence, it might very well be true; but it certainly is crude, and a sign of a lack of sophistication. 4) I love me very much. Some profiles may say "I'm a great catch" "I'm a cutie!" "I have beautiful blonde eyes and gorgeous flowing hair" "I have rippling muscles and great chest hair". These people are very much in love with themselves. You probably won't be able to compete. 5) Please don't be. "I don't like arrogant people." "I don't like cocky people" "I don't like people with high opinions of themselves". When people write these kinds of things, they usually are writing about themselves. Arrogant people tend to find other people arrogant, people who are very touchy often think others are. Stay away, Will Robinson. 6) Stuck up. "I want a man who knows how to treat a lady." This sounds innocuous, but often means that the woman wants to be treated like a princess. I once dated a princess wannabe--we arranged a date at the zoo, but she wouldn't meet me at her local train station to go there, because she wanted to be picked up at her apartment (even though I didn't have a car). Neither did I have a horse and carriage, which would undoubtedly have made her happier. Another time a date complained that I didn't get into a taxi before she did (!), because that was only the proper thing to do. These kinds of people with elaborate sets of rules will never be satisfied. 7) Marry me now! "I want a family oriented man". Actually, many women mention this in their profile, and it's not always a bad thing; it's just a matter of how much they emphasize it. If they mention it frequently, or explicitly, "Looking to get married soon" and/or have pictures of themselves with other peoples' children and babies, they're probably in a great hurry to get married. I had a woman tell me on a first date that she was planning to marry and get pregnant in the next few months. She didn't say who she had in mind to marry.


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Rihanna
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Posted on Tue, Jul 16, 2013 14:59

Hi Dears,

 

 

reading this after such a long time is fun! Please tell me more about your experiences.



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Rihanna
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Posted on Sun, May 02, 2010 12:05

Hello Dears, ExcessEnergy asked me to post the following comment on my blog: Hi, Rihanna, Provocative blog, which makes sense, in view of from whom it comes. Taking it from the top, if a woman describes herself as any of the following, she's unemployed or underemployed and starkly in need of rescue: "self-employed, writer, artist, consultant or other." Yes, there are the (very) rare commercially successful and recognized artists and writers on dating sites, but we could hold a convention of them all in my living room with seating still open. And if we added the successful consultants to the party, there'd still be more furniture than people. And, yes, if you want to stay closer to the center of your comfort zone and you have an MD, PhD, JD, MBA, et al., you will probably seek the same on dating sites. However, that is not necessarily the sine qua non of a successful relationship. People's personality, character, emotional intelligence, creativity, humor, sensuality, reliability and just a good heart can carry things a lot further than whether they've been vetted by some graduate school. As the senior executive character in a Cary Grant comedy once said to Grant's character as both watched in awe as Marilyn Monroe sashayed out of the office, "Well, ANYONE can type!" Ever so. There are things that cannot be taught in grad school that usually prove to be far more important than certified intellectual horsepower. There are, after all, a lot of men and women out there whose horsepower is every bit as prodigious but whom circumstances directed them around having it certified by some university. Bill Gates and St eve Jobs come to mind. Having said all of that, I'm still more comfortable dating someone with multiple degrees than not, just as I'm more comfortable dating someone with money they've earned than not; both are a demonstration of competence that is reassuring in a potential partner. The point is well taken on grammar, with the exception of those who come to the site from another country for whom English is not their first language. If any Anglo-American (a native citizen of any of the Echelon countries) uses improper grammar, that's something of a red flag for incompatibility across a wider array of facets of the relationship. However, in the case of those for whom English came lately, one should in fairness be prepared to give them a little slack, if their foreign cultural background is not itself a barrier to achieving a satisfying and enduring communion (which it can be for some people). "I'm too sexy." (Sigh!) Well, the proof is in the pudding and not in the typing. I rather admire the self-confidence of a woman who describes herself so forthrightly (accompanied by my earnest hope that she is not self-deluded [as so many are in this regard]), while agreeing that this is one of those self-bestowed accolades that would better go unmentioned, as it smacks of a lack of cultivation, rather like those who assert (often repeatedly) that they are "classy" (another attribute best left to demonstration rather than assertion). "I'm a great catch," etc. - It's a fine balance in a profile to put forth some enticing description of some of one's particulars without seeming to have succumbed to narcissism. The balance is perhaps best struck by laying out the facts and leaving the conclusions to be drawn by those who see the profile. After all, if a woman is drop dead gorgeous, she hardly needs to belabor the fact in writing, but might want to be at some pains to elaborate upon how intellectually agile, emotionally available, good humored and socially approachable she is, since those important aspects may not come across in the pictures, just as someone with lots of degrees and heaps of success may want to counterbalance the potential intimidation by demonstrating their good humor and sense of humility. The best courtroom lawyers never tell the jury what to conclude, but only emphasize what evidence they should consider in reaching their decision. So it should be in profiles. "Arrogant people" - this is one of those phrases which is a red flag all by itself for those of us who feel that we have proven ourselves past peradventure and have accumulated at least a respectable record of achievement and success. A sense of perspective and humility on some level is always desirable, but those who are so sensitive about others' high opinion of themselves are probably wrestling with personal problems of a dimension best avoided. As the original author wrote, "Warning, Will Robinson!" And you shouldn't need a robot to tell you when you run across this phrase. "I want to meet a man who knows how to treat a lady." This sentence (virtually ubiquitous in women's profiles on all sites) always makes me wonder who in the hell the woman had been dating and how she was treated up to the point where she drafted her profile. It raises the question as to whether her discernment in men is sub par, compelling her to slap that demand right on the table in the apprehension that she would otherwise be treated poorly. Alternatively, it suggests, as the original author wrote, that she expects to be treated to extraordinary luxury as the price of her continued interest. One would think that anyone worth a damn would treat a woman he was dating as if she were lady, subject to her evidencing the contrary. This is another of those stated requirements that would be best left implicit; stating them explicitly strikes a dissonant note in what might otherwise be a symphonic masterpiece of personal exposition (although it is more often the case than not that if even one of the above offending phrases is present, the others are statistically more likely to follow in the same profile . . . alas!). "Family oriented man," etc. - one can only be grateful for the woman to place her cards on the table in such a forthright fashion. If she tells you or displays in photos that she has a passel of offspring from one or more marriages or liasons, that is something you will want seriously to weigh in deciding to pursue her versus others lacking that feature, as the original author noted. There is really nothing wrong with a woman stating her expectations of what features a successful union would entail and if pre-existing kids are present, it is right for her to make it clear that she expects you to be appreciatively involved and is not willing to send her little darlings to boarding school. On balance, I think that this is a good thing for the woman (or a man, for that matter) to make very clear so that the potential date/mate knows exactly what is in store if things go from rock and roll to walking down the aisle. Many a relationship has foundered on a lack of shared assump tions in this regard. As for your own set of inferences, the following come to mind: "Men wanting an independent woman" - I've been told often enough that this has been code for exactly what you describe. However, mention of the desire for independence need not mean that at all. I am sure that many men write it with the thought that they want women who demonstrate a capability to cope on their own and who will not be so needy and clingy as to make one yearn for the days of singlehood. Not everyone who states a desire for a woman to have a capacity for independence is cheap or a hit and run artist. Independence can be a very positive trait. Speaking for myself only, I admire it in a woman, but have never suggested that woman pay for anything where I was involved. Quod erat demonstrandum. "Compassionate woman" - well, after all, what would be a wrong with a woman who attended to all our needs whenever we requested it? Just kidding. Anyone who expects that better keep his mother alive, well and neurotic. But some women's (and men's) capacity for compassion is truly limited and some of them recognize it (they actually will tell you that they are PROUD of not being very compassionate or empathetic, as they think it evidences a clear vision and grasp of reality, devoid of the delusions of emotional fantasy); it is perhaps best to warn them in advance that this fierce refusal to succumb to compassion, while admirable to some, will not be well received by the profile writer. Personally, I prefer a woman who errs on the side of empathy and compassion and am not shy about saying so. After all, what are we to be for one another if not the last respite in times when compassion and empathy are the only balm for wounds endured? If we cannot offer that to each other, what else may we not expect and what virtues are we to find in our union besides mere convenience? "good catch" - supra - again, it's a fine balance between laying out one's positive traits while not seeming terminally self-absorbed. These profiles are, after all, an advertisement for oneself, and always risk overstatement of the positive. A man or a woman need not consider themselves the ne plus ultra of their gender while summarizing that they are a good catch or whatever. Still, as noted above, it is probably best to lay out the evidence and leave the conclusion to the reader's discretion. Putting all of this another way, and speaking only as a man reading women's profiles, it works like this: What grabs our attention is the pictures. If the pictures are not enticing, the profile doesn't get read, not even glanced at . . . period. If the pictures are enticing, then the profile is read to see if the person is literate, reasonably intelligent, humorous and mentally well (on the plus side) and does not disqualify herself by some display of permanent anger toward men, woeful ignorance, coarse sensibilities, financial neediness or avariciousness, high school education or worse, tattoos (which may not have appeared in the pictures - you'd be surprised!), piercings, or revelation through explicit statement or choice of language of some other fatal incompatibility in world view (such as coming from Russia, for instance). Thus, if the pictures are smokin


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DONTFITMOLD Recommended
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Posted on Sat, Nov 07, 2009 08:52

Very true and funny....the funniest Arab non boring terrorist is Achmed the puppet that Jeff Dunham designed ...hilarious.....look up youtube Jeff Dunham.

Jeff's American non boring puppet Walter is my idol

D

¿

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D ( @ )( @ )

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Rihanna
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Posted on Fri, Nov 06, 2009 05:21

Hello Possmatch, thank you for sharing a laugh.I agree with you and obviously one can tell that the article was written by a man,a frustrated one,probably penniless.I can imagine him dancing himself to rage,something like 'Rumpelstiskin' LOL (Please note that the article was re-posted and that the mistakes are not mine). There are gold diggers amongst men too. Men say they want(Me dissing the article/author): 1) an independent woman meaning,"Buy your own ticket and get here immediately inorder to get laid.If you have milions we will share,if you don't you buy a ticket back to wherever you came from". 2)a compassionate woman: "You have to attend to my needs whenever I say you do.ALL THE TIME! 3)Men who have,"a good catch" somewhere in their profiles are saying,"You could not do better! I am unbeatable,so now you've seen my profile.Go ahead and beg me to take you.... everyone is anyway.I am irresistable.Could messure up with 'The terminator'.I will not ask you to sleep with me for that comes obvious.I am there and you LOVE that fact". More to come :-).


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Possmatch
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Posted on Fri, Nov 06, 2009 04:41

Rihanna, thanks for re-posting the article!¿ Oh so true.¿ I would also add to the list...

There is a difference in their and there , an and "and " (I could go on and on but won't)

The most overused word in the English language is "that."¿ For a fun exercise, run a check when writing and count the number of times the word is used.¿ Less is more.

When a man writes, "you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen" my first question is, "what planet have you been on?"¿ I once dated a scientist from Los Alamos who actually said this a half dozen times in an hour... I think he had been on that hill far too long and probably glowed in the dark.

"I am so lonely" is a dead ringer for "you have no life."

Business owner but willing to relocate anywhere for the right person...hummm?

Anyway, thanks for the chuckle this morning!

¿

¿



"Do or do not, there is no try." Yoda

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