Member's Blog > Rezi1983's blogs > if you dont meet someone in person–it is not a relationship
if you dont meet someone in person–it is not a relationship Sort by:
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Posted on Thu, Oct 03, 2013 11:46 PM

You may think you are connected as you share intimacy through emails, phone calls, etc. but it’s not real until you actually spend time with this person — touch them, see them and hear their voice.

I found a great excerpt from Paul Weinberg’s fantastic book about connecting in this age of social media called “The I Factor,” and it has to do with the false sense of intimacy created through online communication: “Electronic communication is a medium that encourages intimacy by allowing you to reveal thoughts and feelings that you might not share with anyone else or that you might not be comfortable expressing face-to-face. But without the benefit of direct face-to-face interaction, electronic communication can also create a false sense of intimacy by providing a screen through which you can reveal as much or as little as you choose, and consciously or unconsciously filter or distort what you reveal … keep in mind that words themselves are limiting and reductionistic, and cannot possibly capture the richness and nuance of direct interpersonal contact.”

Our rule of thumb here is if you do connect with someone we have matched you with, try to meet them in person within several weeks if possible. Talk to them on the phone as soon as you are comfortable – I would say after several rounds of communication. If they are long distance, Skype with them. You need to look into the eyes of the person you are interested in to really get a sense of who they are beyond emails and phone calls.

If you meet someone online and they profess their love for you without actually meeting you — be very skeptical.

The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope.

I also think it helps if you go in with the attitude that you are just fishing for fun, and not with expectations that you are going to catch the biggest fish ever and win the whole fishing tournament! Too much pressure! I think the fish can pick up on that vibe from a mile away. It’s like one of those sparkly, spinning lures that are supposed to attract fish, when really the fish are smart enough to realize what it is. Those fish wait for the natural bait to come along, and then they get hooked! Great dates aren’t just going to show up on your front porch. You have to be visible to let people know you are available. You have to be out there meeting people – and meeting new people – to stand a chance of catching new fish

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over

To me, that’s the important takeaway! Marriage is a choice, and marriage is hard work. Take the time during dating to be sure that you are ready and willing to make that commitment. Make sure you are willing to make the choice that he or she will become your “one person” and that you are willing to put the hard work into making your relationship work.Be smart. Don’t leave your love life to chance. we are also aware that when that familiarity turns from one of  “comfort and ease” to one of “disregard and disrespect” that it’s time to reassess. It is when relationships, either dating or marriage, start to turn from comfort to complacency, that many couples start to feel disconnected, unappreciated, and undervalued.

Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women.  Almost any decision is better than no decision at all

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Posted on Sun, Oct 27, 2013 09:04 PM

Hear, hear!

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Posted on Wed, Oct 09, 2013 11:49 PM

amen sister!

It cracks me up when my friends tell me they are dating someone online. Seriously????? Wake up! It's a fantasy until you meet face to face... all the rest is crap!

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Posted on Mon, Oct 07, 2013 05:44 PM

it would be nice as well as a better world if more of us took in what you put to words

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Posted on Sun, Oct 06, 2013 12:01 PM

I suppose it is a matter of definition.  One can have a blogging relationship.  An email relationship.  A letter writing relationship.


I do agree though, a relationship where you actually can see, touch, and talk face to face is the best relationship.   


The others can supplement a romantic relationship, but you have to meet and often to really get it going.  






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Posted on Sat, Oct 05, 2013 01:23 PM

I always, always enjoy reading your brilliant thoughts!


But why are you hidding away? Come on back, let us see your face; don't hide your profile please.



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