How do you really know that it's true Love? I am a Loving person I love to give a lot of Love and recieve lots of Love but how do you know when your with someone and it's Real True Love ?
How do you really know that it's true Love? I am a Loving person I love to give a lot of Love and recieve lots of Love but how do you know when your with someone and it's Real True Love ?
RMAC - Incidentally I was at a meeting today and the discussion sort of drifted to one of the participants talking about a friend of hers (they've been friends for about 15 years), who had an arranged marriage that worked out so very beautifully well that the couple is now considering arrangements for their kids! It worked so well, so why change it, they thought?
It is not for me, though. However when you look at the divorce stats of people who chose their own spouses themselves, you start to wonder. But I conclude that the success or failure is strictly on the merit of individual case.
Liv.
But what if it didn't turn out well Liv??? How would the parents feel if their child was miserable for their entire life or the mate turned out to be a loser? That's what I would worry about if I arranged a marriage for my child.
Quoting Livnlov:
RMAC - Incidentally I was at a meeting today and the discussion sort of drifted to one of the participants talking about a friend of hers (they've been friends for about 15 years), who had an arranged marriage that worked out so very beautifully well that the couple is now considering arrangements for their kids! It worked so well, so why change it, they thought?
It is not for me, though. However when you look at the divorce stats of people who chose their own spouses themselves, you start to wonder. But I conclude that the success or failure is strictly on the merit of individual case.
Liv.
But what if it didn't turn out well Liv??? How would the parents feel if their child was miserable for their entire life or the mate turned out to be a loser? That's what I would worry about if I arranged a marriage for my child.
I once knew a very lovely Indian lady who when she decided it was time she was married, she went back to India for her parents to arrange a marriage for her. Her comment, "What do I know about picking out a husband?" They seemed very happy with each other.
A somewhat different story:a young Chinese woman, who had just completed a graduate degree at one of the big California universities, was heading back home with a heavy heart, because her parents had arranged for her to marry some man she did not know.She was going to do it, but was sad.She had tasted USA style dating during her University experience in the US and she had liked it.This too has a happy ending.She met the man and liked him.She wrote back that her parents were not stupid.They had picked a good one.Chemistry and all.
No conclusions though.I don’t know.
rmac
RMAC - Incidentally I was at a meeting today and the discussion sort of drifted to one of the participants talking about a friend of hers (they've been friends for about 15 years), who had an arranged marriage that worked out so very beautifully well that the couple is now considering arrangements for their kids! It worked so well, so why change it, they thought?
It is not for me, though. However when you look at the divorce stats of people who chose their own spouses themselves, you start to wonder. But I conclude that the success or failure is strictly on the merit of individual case.
Liv.
Quoting rmac22:
Diana,
I once knew a very lovely Indian lady who when she decided it was time she was married, she went back to India for her parents to arrange a marriage for her. Her comment, "What do I know about picking out a husband?" They seemed very happy with each other.
A somewhat different story:a young Chinese woman, who had just completed a graduate degree at one of the big California universities, was heading back home with a heavy heart, because her parents had arranged for her to marry some man she did not know.She was going to do it, but was sad.She had tasted USA style dating during her University experience in the US and she had liked it.This too has a happy ending.She met the man and liked him.She wrote back that her parents were not stupid.They had picked a good one.Chemistry and all.
No conclusions though.I don’t know.
rmac
RMAC - Incidentally I was at a meeting today and the discussion sort of drifted to one of the participants talking about a friend of hers (they've been friends for about 15 years), who had an arranged marriage that worked out so very beautifully well that the couple is now considering arrangements for their kids! It worked so well, so why change it, they thought?
It is not for me, though. However when you look at the divorce stats of people who chose their own spouses themselves, you start to wonder. But I conclude that the success or failure is strictly on the merit of individual case.
I have thought about that phrase many times...'True Love'. Once I was talking to a patient of mine that was from India. He said that Americans do a disservice to their children teaching them to believe in fairy tales. He said we teach our children to desire and seek this ultimate relationship that doesn't really exist.....and when the relationship fails to meet expectations, a divorce and a broken family is the result. In India they have arranged marriages that he said work very well, which are based on commitment, compromise and faith.
I followed up that conversation by having discussions with numerous Indian women; all had arranged marriages. Consistently they said they were happy and loved their husbands. I really was bewildered by their answers, including that they believed their parents were better qualified than they to make wise spousal choices for them.
Of course I don't suggest that my findings were scientific or evidence based, as I probably only talked to about 6 women. But I believe they were telling me the truth about what they thought and how they felt. Does anyone have any comment on this? Is this a classic case of female domination and subjugation by authority? I've never really talked to any Indian men about their marriages, but of the ones I know, mostly doctors, all seem to be happily married and devoted husbands. Or do parents really know what's best for you?
:) Thank you Rmac.
I have thought about that phrase many times...'True Love'. Once I was talking to a patient of mine that was from India. He said that Americans do a disservice to their children teaching them to believe in fairy tales. He said we teach our children to desire and seek this ultimate relationship that doesn't really exist.....and when the relationship fails to meet expectations, a divorce and a broken family is the result. In India they have arranged marriages that he said work very well, which are based on commitment, compromise and faith.
I followed up that conversation by having discussions with numerous Indian women; all had arranged marriages. Consistently they said they were happy and loved their husbands. I really was bewildered by their answers, including that they believed their parents were better qualified than they to make wise spousal choices for them.
Of course I don't suggest that my findings were scientific or evidence based, as I probably only talked to about 6 women. But I believe they were telling me the truth about what they thought and how they felt. Does anyone have any comment on this? Is this a classic case of female domination and subjugation by authority? I've never really talked to any Indian men about their marriages, but of the ones I know, mostly doctors, all seem to be happily married and devoted husbands. Or do parents really know what's best for you?
Did Forrest Gump really say that? I've watched that movie probably 4x and don't remember that line.
Quoting Voyager54:
~Queen~...If you can do simple things like shop with someone endlessly, or go for long drives without saying a word and still have it feel comfortable...you know, the comfortable silence thing...then it's probably a good bet, that you like being in the presence of the person next to you and they probably feel the same thing. Of course, sex...if it's good, then at least , as Forrest Gump would say, "One less thang".
Quoting Voyager54:
~Queen~...If you can do simple things like shop with someone endlessly, or go for long drives without saying a word and still have it feel comfortable...you know, the comfortable silence thing...then it's probably a good bet, that you like being in the presence of the person next to you and they probably feel the same thing. Of course, sex...if it's good, then at least , as Forrest Gump would say, "One less thang".
Did Forrest Gump really say that? I've watched that movie probably 4x and don't remember that line.
*sigh* Awwwww.....Rmac. You say the most wonderful things. Seriously! :))
Quoting rmac22:
If it hurts worse to leave them behind than it does to take them with you. That is a good start on knowing they are the one. If you simply can't leave them behind, you might be there.
rmac
Quoting rmac22:
If it hurts worse to leave them behind than it does to take them with you. That is a good start on knowing they are the one. If you simply can't leave them behind, you might be there.
rmac
*sigh* Awwwww.....Rmac. You say the most wonderful things. Seriously! :))
Very moving Positive! I am glad you had that and I hope you find love again! Thanks for sharing!
QBD - You will know when you have found the one. There will be no doubt, and the feeling will be mutual. It's no good if it's just one party who feels it. I wish you the best of luck in your search.
Liv.
Quoting bepositive:
I was married for 29 years to a wonderful man. We could not keep our hands off each other (holding hands, touching,.kisses, etc). when he was gone I missed him and when he was home I could not wait to see him. That man gave me butterflies in the stomach right up until the day he died. I would love to find love again........it is the most amazing feeling in the world. I think true love is when you both have respect for one another and let all your guards down and accept each other totally. Of course you are going to have arguments but it is how you resolve them that counts....communication is key. If you have that "I cant wait to see you, touch you, make love to you, hold you, talk to you" kind of feeling in your heart and head......then you have found true love. Good Luck Doll.
Quoting bepositive:
I was married for 29 years to a wonderful man. We could not keep our hands off each other (holding hands, touching,.kisses, etc). when he was gone I missed him and when he was home I could not wait to see him. That man gave me butterflies in the stomach right up until the day he died. I would love to find love again........it is the most amazing feeling in the world. I think true love is when you both have respect for one another and let all your guards down and accept each other totally. Of course you are going to have arguments but it is how you resolve them that counts....communication is key. If you have that "I cant wait to see you, touch you, make love to you, hold you, talk to you" kind of feeling in your heart and head......then you have found true love. Good Luck Doll.
Very moving Positive! I am glad you had that and I hope you find love again! Thanks for sharing!
QBD - You will know when you have found the one. There will be no doubt, and the feeling will be mutual. It's no good if it's just one party who feels it. I wish you the best of luck in your search.
If it hurts worse to leave them behind than it does to take them with you. That is a good start on knowing they are the one. If you simply can't leave them behind, you might be there.
rmac
If it hurts worse to leave them behind than it does to take them with you. That is a good start on knowing they are the one. If you simply can't leave them behind, you might be there.
I was married for 29 years to a wonderful man. We could not keep our hands off each other (holding hands, touching,.kisses, etc). when he was gone I missed him and when he was home I could not wait to see him. That man gave me butterflies in the stomach right up until the day he died. I would love to find love again........it is the most amazing feeling in the world. I think true love is when you both have respect for one another and let all your guards down and accept each other totally. Of course you are going to have arguments but it is how you resolve them that counts....communication is key. If you have that "I cant wait to see you, touch you, make love to you, hold you, talk to you" kind of feeling in your heart and head......then you have found true love. Good Luck Doll.
I was married for 29 years to a wonderful man. We could not keep our hands off each other (holding hands, touching,.kisses, etc). when he was gone I missed him and when he was home I could not wait to see him. That man gave me butterflies in the stomach right up until the day he died. I would love to find love again........it is the most amazing feeling in the world.
I think true love is when you both have respect for one another and let all your guards down and accept each other totally. Of course you are going to have arguments but it is how you resolve them that counts....communication is key. If you have that "I cant wait to see you, touch you, make love to you, hold you, talk to you" kind of feeling in your heart and head......then you have found true love. Good Luck Doll.
How could I NOT know that it's true love? I've had enough experience in life to know myself well and know how I feel and be able to judge how someone feels about me (after some time has passed). True love is so many things. Do you love that person enough that you want him or her to be happy regardless of what that may mean for you? Trust your feelings and learn everything you possibly can. You may love the good qualities that someone has BUT can you live with their flaws? Being realistic makes a huge difference in whether you should move forward or not.
How could I NOT know that it's true love? I've had enough experience in life to know myself well and know how I feel and be able to judge how someone feels about me (after some time has passed).
True love is so many things. Do you love that person enough that you want him or her to be happy regardless of what that may mean for you?
Trust your feelings and learn everything you possibly can. You may love the good qualities that someone has BUT can you live with their flaws? Being realistic makes a huge difference in whether you should move forward or not.
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