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Orlando__
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Posted on Sun, Jun 30, 2013 15:06

Rudeness, sadly enough, occurs on Millionaire Match's blogs, emails, forums, and other areas of the site far too often. I have experienced it first hand.  I have seen offensive comments and received rude emails without thought to how it would be interpreted.  It's known as "Online Disinhibition Effect." It is when someone posts or emails an impulsively rude or offensive remark that they wouldn't do face-to-face.  An experiment by Niederhoffer and Pennebaker listed in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology found that individuals were 18.8% more rude or offensive online compared to face-to-face.  This led me to research why this occurs.

Research by John Suler published in CyberPsychology & Behavior found people were more likely to lose their inhibitions when communicating online compared to face-to-face.  He found 6 reasons people have "Online Disinhibition Effect."

Dissociative anonymity or "You don't know me" effect occurs because the person remains anonymous, which provides a sense of protection.

Invisibility or "You can't see me" effect means the Internet provides a shield to its user though usernames and pseudonyms.

Asynchronicity or "See you later" effect. As Suler notes very personal, emotionally charged, or inflammatory messages can be left and then "run away."

Solipsistic introjection is "It's all in my head" effect.  Lacking any kind of visual face-to-face cues, the rude individual assigns characteristics and traits to a "person" which are not accurate.

Dissociative imagination or "It's just a game" effect.   People may see cyberspace as a kind of game where the normal politeness of everyday interaction don't apply to them.

Minimization of authority is "Your rules don't apply here" effect. Levels of authority that might otherwise be present in real life are often completely absent on the internet.

All six effects speak ill of the person posting or emailing the comment. It is a good lesson that we should all try and live by the Golden Rule.

Sources:
Niederhoffer, K. G., & Pennebaker, J. W. (2002). Linguistic style matching in social interaction. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 21(4), 337-360.

Suler, J. (2004). The online disinhibition effect. Cyberpsychology & behavior, 7(3), 321-326.



**My top strength is"learning." So, my blogs are learning-focused. ~Orlando

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Dakota35
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Posted on Wed, Jul 24, 2013 04:05

Quoting Livnlov:

Reporting for duty, Ma'am! Mtnsunny, you've got it covered, haven't you?

 

Aren't we just a hilarious bunch? What great fun it would be when (not if) we finally have a reunion....no not reunion....what's the right word...a meet, get-together? OK, yeah let's organise something in the real world!

 

Liv.



Liv, then my cloak of mystery would be broken!  I'll have to wear a disguise.  I can probably get a Sponge Bob Square Pants costume.



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bepositive
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Posted on Mon, Jul 15, 2013 06:57

I am all in for a reunion....what a hoot that would be.  I also bought some duct tape in case the kiddie pool springs a leak.  Going to COSTCO now to check on bulk jello.  Do I need to buy some snorkels????



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RealtorLulu
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Posted on Sun, Jul 14, 2013 17:51

A reunion sounds great Liv. I vote for Puerto Rico. The Caribbean anyone?


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Lulu in Dallas

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dawnav
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Posted on Wed, Jul 10, 2013 17:09

Yep I have experienced it too and I am discusted uh rude people nowadays.



Dawna A.K.A. Miss Sexy Baby!

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MistressAllin
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Posted on Wed, Jul 10, 2013 15:20

...found that individuals were 18.8% more rude or offensive online compared to face-to-face.

 

18.8%...I just wonder how to measure face-to-face rudeness?



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Livnlov
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Posted on Wed, Jul 10, 2013 09:28

Quoting Mtnsunny:

Great idea on charging admission!  

 

Maybe we can talk Speed into being the gate keeper since he's seems to be good with figures. 

 

We need a couple of cops for crowd control...BePositive can be the bad cop and I'll be the good cop.  

 

Never to far away is a need for an attorney...Liv knows her stuff and is the smartest of the group. 

 

Hope can you be our announcer?...She has a great way with words. 

 

Just in case we need some book work done, we'll ask LULU to fill in, realtors seem to handle volumes of paper. 

 

Head of concessions...SL...let the Wine flow...giving a spin on the jello. 

 

We need to be fishing for new contestants...where's fishy?  

 

I bet Jen can help us locate a few punching bags for Dak to practice building his muscles since she seems to handle that department well. 

 

Any other volunteers?  Of course this is all for a good cause so we can't forget our lovely tour guide and music Entertainer of the Year, MissMonteCarlo.  Plus she can run the tallys for us.

 

The one thing we need is volumes of Jello!  I think we should take a survey as to what brand fits the mold, does color matter and where we could find the best deal....

 

 

 

Oh my..who's the first lucky contender?

 

 



Reporting for duty, Ma'am! Mtnsunny, you've got it covered, haven't you?

 

Aren't we just a hilarious bunch? What great fun it would be when (not if) we finally have a reunion....no not reunion....what's the right word...a meet, get-together? OK, yeah let's organise something in the real world!

 

Liv.



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Mtnsunny
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Posted on Wed, Jul 10, 2013 08:55

Quoting RealtorLulu:

With the heatwave we're having, make it orange flavor and I'm in. And yes, I can handle lots of paperwork so no problem with my assigned duties.

 

You guys are great!!

 

Hugs



Dak and LuLu,

 

I was hoping for Green, Dak could be the Green Love Machine...

 

The survey says.....

 

Little people...that might be difficult Dak, their a rare commodity and charge a arm and a leg.  We'll have to do some fishing....where is Fishy, he has to know of some women up there that are looking for some action.

As far as the cape and mask...Hope is so good at sewing such things...where is that woman?

 

Thanks LuLu for pitchin in, hopefully Bepositive shows up, she has the kiddy pool, without it were sunk.



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RealtorLulu
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Posted on Tue, Jul 09, 2013 21:15

Quoting Dakota35:

Mtnsunny, you've got it all figured out.  I was joking about the Jello wrestling but now you've got me all fired up!  Do I get to wear a mask and cape?  I want midgets also (sorry, I mean little people).  I vote for cherry Jello!  I must admit that a few of the women on the blogs, I'm afraid of...got to get my insurance paid up.



With the heatwave we're having, make it orange flavor and I'm in. And yes, I can handle lots of paperwork so no problem with my assigned duties.

 

You guys are great!!

 

Hugs



Lulu in Dallas

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Dakota35
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Posted on Tue, Jul 09, 2013 20:08

Quoting Mtnsunny:

Great idea on charging admission!  

 

Maybe we can talk Speed into being the gate keeper since he's seems to be good with figures. 

 

We need a couple of cops for crowd control...BePositive can be the bad cop and I'll be the good cop.  

 

Never to far away is a need for an attorney...Liv knows her stuff and is the smartest of the group. 

 

Hope can you be our announcer?...She has a great way with words. 

 

Just in case we need some book work done, we'll ask LULU to fill in, realtors seem to handle volumes of paper. 

 

Head of concessions...SL...let the Wine flow...giving a spin on the jello. 

 

We need to be fishing for new contestants...where's fishy?  

 

I bet Jen can help us locate a few punching bags for Dak to practice building his muscles since she seems to handle that department well. 

 

Any other volunteers?  Of course this is all for a good cause so we can't forget our lovely tour guide and music Entertainer of the Year, MissMonteCarlo.  Plus she can run the tallys for us.

 

The one thing we need is volumes of Jello!  I think we should take a survey as to what brand fits the mold, does color matter and where we could find the best deal....

 

 

 

Oh my..who's the first lucky contender?

 

 



Mtnsunny, you've got it all figured out.  I was joking about the Jello wrestling but now you've got me all fired up!  Do I get to wear a mask and cape?  I want midgets also (sorry, I mean little people).  I vote for cherry Jello!  I must admit that a few of the women on the blogs, I'm afraid of...got to get my insurance paid up.



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Mtnsunny
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Posted on Mon, Jul 08, 2013 21:25

Quoting Dakota35:

We need to charge admission!  I'm not opening all those Jello boxes, next time we buy in bulk. :)


Great idea on charging admission!  

 

Maybe we can talk Speed into being the gate keeper since he's seems to be good with figures. 

 

We need a couple of cops for crowd control...BePositive can be the bad cop and I'll be the good cop.  

 

Never to far away is a need for an attorney...Liv knows her stuff and is the smartest of the group. 

 

Hope can you be our announcer?...She has a great way with words. 

 

Just in case we need some book work done, we'll ask LULU to fill in, realtors seem to handle volumes of paper. 

 

Head of concessions...SL...let the Wine flow...giving a spin on the jello. 

 

We need to be fishing for new contestants...where's fishy?  

 

I bet Jen can help us locate a few punching bags for Dak to practice building his muscles since she seems to handle that department well. 

 

Any other volunteers?  Of course this is all for a good cause so we can't forget our lovely tour guide and music Entertainer of the Year, MissMonteCarlo.  Plus she can run the tallys for us.

 

The one thing we need is volumes of Jello!  I think we should take a survey as to what brand fits the mold, does color matter and where we could find the best deal....

 

 

 

Oh my..who's the first lucky contender?

 

 



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Dakota35
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Posted on Mon, Jul 08, 2013 18:14

Quoting bepositive:

Dakota,

I just bought a kiddie pool......1,000 boxes of jello and will start my "pumping iron" schedule tomorrow....:)

Always like reading your posts..<3



We need to charge admission!  I'm not opening all those Jello boxes, next time we buy in bulk. :)



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Athenashield
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Posted on Thu, Jul 04, 2013 07:05

or....just a snow ball of  cause and effect with no particular intention just stating an opinion that others desagree with....



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bepositive
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Posted on Thu, Jul 04, 2013 05:00

Dakota,

I just bought a kiddie pool......1,000 boxes of jello and will start my "pumping iron" schedule tomorrow....:)

Always like reading your posts..<3



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Dakota35
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Posted on Wed, Jul 03, 2013 06:23

Quoting bepositive:

Nichole,

Mentioning people's names in the blogs/forums is also not cool nor classy.  We all have opinions and feel free to voice them in the forums.  If you start a blog (on this site) then be prepared to receive other peoples OPINIONS (negaitve and positive).

The topic of this thread is Why are People Rude.........and here you are being rude towards a fellow blogger when she is not here to defend herself.  Maybe you can email her and work things out.



I agree, if you start a blog or make a comment on one, you are accepting that someone will agree and disagree with you.  It would be rather boring if everyone agreed.  As long as the disagreements don't get personal or vulgar, it's all cool.  We should have Jello wrestling to settle our differences.  I'm angry at all the hot women on this site, bring on the Jello. :)  I may loose but I'ma gonna love it!



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Dakota35
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Posted on Wed, Jul 03, 2013 06:17

Hey, if someone gets upset, feel more than welcome to take it out on me.  I have thick skin and don't take these blogs to seriously.  I'm just here for the ride. :)



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bepositive
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Posted on Tue, Jul 02, 2013 05:39

Nichole,

Mentioning people's names in the blogs/forums is also not cool nor classy.  We all have opinions and feel free to voice them in the forums.  If you start a blog (on this site) then be prepared to receive other peoples OPINIONS (negaitve and positive).

The topic of this thread is Why are People Rude.........and here you are being rude towards a fellow blogger when she is not here to defend herself.  Maybe you can email her and work things out.



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NicholeIsabella
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Posted on Mon, Jul 01, 2013 18:59

Let's take this matter to heart for a moment. Since my first thread on the forums ignighted a comment attack from user JenKneee directed towards you, Orlando. Orlando's comment was VERY encouraging and I appreciated it very much. I missed the initial attack. Responded to JenKneee with civility and now, O's comment is gone, and I have deleted all but my original post. Sadly for me + others, an immature bicker erased some very good advice. That DOES matter to me, because a certain gentleman may have seen it tonight. 💔👎Not cool. Not classy. If a person isn't on this site with pure intent, at least leave those of us who ARE on the site with pure intent be left alone. 😪



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bepositive
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Posted on Mon, Jul 01, 2013 07:23

We are all adults here.........aren't we??   I have experienced rude behavior in the chat room and have seen some rude posts in the Forum but choose to ignore them and the people that write them.  Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion but when they intentionally post something negative directed at someone else it makes me wonder what kind of life they are living.  Negative attracts negative and I have no use for it in my life.

Let's all repsect one another and have fun in the Forums and in Chat rooms.  I save my negativity for the scumbag scammers on this site.  Let's all focus on the good things in life.

Peace and Love to everyone.....

Bepo in Ohio



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RealtorLulu
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Posted on Mon, Jul 01, 2013 05:37

Orlando;

 

 

 

I have always liked your posts (except maybe the one about George's comment). You bring us information that most of us wouldn't think to find on our own but appreciate and enjoy.

 

Being rude on MM or any dating site can put a spotlight on the person which could be damaging to their image. I would not want to date someone who is quick to offend without thinking about what it does to the other person. I do understand retaliation when you're being attacked but that's another day's lesson.

 

 I find rudeness to be unnecessary and deliberate. As far as I'm concerned if I have nothing good to say to you, I just say nothing. Especially when the content of the blog is not directed at anyone in particular.

 

Some may have the need to participate in the conversation but have nothing worth sharing so they dissect what the poster/participant is saying just to get a response. I find it to be immature.

 

As to my "neighbor" Speed, I'm glad you have not experienced it. It can be hurtful even for the toughest person.

 



Lulu in Dallas

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