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Orlando__
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Posted on Mon, May 13, 2013 14:16

Research shows men prefer women who were dumped by their last boyfriends, while women prefer men who initiated their last breakup. When a man initiates a breakup, his actions reinforce the male dominance that is inherent to gender roles. Therefore, knowing his prospective girlfriend was dumped reassures him that he'll be the one in control. On the other hand, when women leave their boyfriends, guys may consider them high-maintenance and picky, which could also make them worry that she will eventually reject him as well. Meanwhile, women prefer guys who initiated their last breakup because it suggests that he isn't hung up on his ex.

Source: Stanik, C., Kurzban, R., & Ellsworth, P. (2010). Rejection hurts: The effect of being dumped on subsequent mating efforts. Evolutionary psychology: an international journal of evolutionary approaches to psychology and behavior, 8(4), 682.



**My top strength is"learning." So, my blogs are learning-focused. ~Orlando

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rmac22
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Posted on Sat, May 25, 2013 10:10

Sometimes it is a bit confusing who actually dumped whom.   Example, he knows perfectly well what he has to do to continue the relationship, but chooses not to do it.  If it continues fine, if not so be it.  So, she puts up with him a few weeks, or months, or years and then dumps him. 

 

In that sense, if a lady is concerned about commitment issues she should equally ask, “Why did she dump you?”

 

 

RMac



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BeWell
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Posted on Mon, May 20, 2013 12:11

Hummm. Maybe they're on to something there. Almost every guy I've ever dated asked me about past breakups early on in the relationship.  Thanks for the insight.

 

Breakups have been half and half for me. The last one was different. He slipped up and I caught him in a serious lie and he broke up with me before I had a chance to break up with him. HA!!!.................. BeWell



BeWell and wishing you only the best ! ..................;-D

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Diana3316
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Posted on Sat, May 18, 2013 22:18

O~

Hmmm….ok…so this is pretty interesting to me.  Occasionally I like to go to a local C&W club to dance.  I go alone, so some guy will usually come up to me and start to talk, asking me what I’m doing there all alone.  Not wanting to seem like I can’t get a date, I tell him that I’m there to try to have some fun because I just got dumped by my boyfriend for a younger woman.  Invariably I notice a gleam in his eye when he hears that.  I had NO idea that it was because he felt dominate to me.  I always thought it was because he was thinking, “Oh good, grudge sex tonight!” lololol…*wink*  No matter....I dance all night long and have a good time, but end up leaving the way I came.  *sigh*



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Sat, May 18, 2013 08:53

Quoting rmac22:

 

Personally, I have never asked that question of dates and really don’t want to know.  I have been asked about past relationships.  The reaction I seemed to get was they were reassured if I was dumped, but really got concerned otherwise.   Seemed they were really concerned about commitment problems.   If I was the one who opted out they wanted to know substantive reasons why, none of this “it just wasn’t working” crap.   

 

 

 

RMac

 



RMAC--- I agree darlin!

 

I wonder if a man has dumped a woman..... WHY?

 

1) Unrealistic expectations?

 

2) Commitment issues?

 

3) Just a player- but doesn't recognize this? (In other words.. Nice enough guy who lacks self-awarenes to realize he is NOT ready to commit.) 

 

4) Player who knows he's a player, but knows how to play all areas of the field? 

 

THEN, the sides come to play...

 

1) IF she was so great and he says so? WHY is he not w/ her?

 

2) IF he speaks ill of her, does he just have "women issues," or was she REALLY that crazy! 

 

I could not disagree w/ these findings more... AND, I showed a male friend of mine and he said he felt "my findings" were more realistic! 

 

Ho-hum.... I missed my calling! ;)

 

 



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rmac22
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Posted on Fri, May 17, 2013 07:29

 

Personally, I have never asked that question of dates and really don’t want to know.  I have been asked about past relationships.  The reaction I seemed to get was they were reassured if I was dumped, but really got concerned otherwise.   Seemed they were really concerned about commitment problems.   If I was the one who opted out they wanted to know substantive reasons why, none of this “it just wasn’t working” crap.   

 

 

 

RMac

 



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Livnlov
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Posted on Thu, May 16, 2013 20:06

Quoting Hoping4Love2000:

I think this "sounds good" on paper, however, men I've dated don't necessarily like the guy breaking up for several reasons. 

 

1) This can leave the woman bitter and angry with men in general. (Will she take her anger out on me now?) 

 

2) The man had possibly cheated leaving her with "trust" issues. (Will she not trust me now?) 

 

3) Confident men, the ONLY kind of men I ever date, don't need to be assured they will be dominant. They KNOW they are. 

 

4) Most "good men", the ONLY kind I date, will be concerned a woman was abused and may have "issues" resulting from this. Good men don't like to see a woman abused. 

 

Guess it's all in how you view the glass.....

 

I prefer confident men who don't care who broke up with whom; they are just glad the woman is available for his chance. 



DITTO!

 

Liv.



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Mon, May 13, 2013 21:58

I think this "sounds good" on paper, however, men I've dated don't necessarily like the guy breaking up for several reasons. 

 

1) This can leave the woman bitter and angry with men in general. (Will she take her anger out on me now?) 

 

2) The man had possibly cheated leaving her with "trust" issues. (Will she not trust me now?) 

 

3) Confident men, the ONLY kind of men I ever date, don't need to be assured they will be dominant. They KNOW they are. 

 

4) Most "good men", the ONLY kind I date, will be concerned a woman was abused and may have "issues" resulting from this. Good men don't like to see a woman abused. 

 

Guess it's all in how you view the glass.....

 

I prefer confident men who don't care who broke up with whom; they are just glad the woman is available for his chance. 



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