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Orlando__
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Posted on Mon, Jul 15, 2013 18:08

By writing this blog I will fall prey and be accused to the very thing I personally detest--judgmentalism.  I'm referring to those who feel the need to stand in judgment of and interfere in others actions. We all know who they are.

Before I get to my research let me state that judgmentalism is not all bad.  Yes, Hitler was a bad person.  Killing is terrible.  We make inconsequential judging of cars, colors, clothes, etc.  It is the person-focused judger I refer to who seems to lack a filter and feels compelled to judge other people's actions.  It's myopic.

So, in order to understand this judgmentalism I turned to reseach.  And what I found is interesting to me.

First, Bodenhausen, Gabriel, and Lineberger (200) have found that those having a "judgmental bias" are "sad" people. This sadness leads them to fall victim to "over judgments" as the authors state.

Second, research going back to 1992 has shown that "sad moods, in contrast, appear to be characterized by more extensive, detail-oriented information processing strategies" and "human inference and judgment" bias (see Forgas, 1995; Sinclair & Marks, 1992).  Put in laymen's terms, sad people feel a need to judge others and interfere in other people's lives more than happy people.

But why is this the case?

The answer lies in the third bit of research.  "Sad" judgers, according to Weary (1990) and Weary and Gannon (1996), "need to regain a sense of predictability and control over the environment."  In other words, because their own lives lack control they have a need to control others.

I'll end with this quote by Wayne Dyer: "When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."


Sources:

Bodenhausen, G. V., Gabriel, S., & Lineberger, M. (2000). Sadness and susceptibility to judgmental bias: The case of anchoring. Psychological Science, 11(4), 320-323.

Forgas, J.P. (1995). Mood and judgment: The affect infusion model (AIM). Psychological Bulletin, 117, 39–66.

Sinclair, R.C., & Marks, M.M. (1992). The influence of mood state on judgment and action: Effects on persuasion, categorization, social justice, person perception, and judgmental accuracy. In L.L. Martin & A. Tesser (Eds.), The construction of social judgment (pp. 165–193). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Weary, G. (1990). Depression and sensitivity to social information. In B.S. Moore & A.M. Isen (Eds.), Affect and social behavior
(pp. 207–230). Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.

Weary, G., & Gannon, K. (1996). Depression, control motivation, and person perception. In P.M. Gollwitzer & J.A. Bargh (Eds.), The psychology of action: Linking cognition and motivation to behavior
(pp. 146–167). New York: Guilford Press.



**My top strength is"learning." So, my blogs are learning-focused. ~Orlando

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Livnlov
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Posted on Sun, Jul 28, 2013 12:20

Quoting MMCounselor:

Hi Liv,

 

To set the record straight.....no member reported or complained about your comment to me, the member filed the complaint directly with Orlando. Orlando contacted me, asking what he should do about it and my advice was to leave it alone, as I felt the person who was complaining to Orlando, was basically asking him to do his dirty work and remove the comments.  IMHO, if someone has a problem with a blog or comment, they need to file the complaint with MM and not be asking the author of the blog to intervene and remove a comment they did not approve of.  Had Orlando personally felt the comment you made, was offensive in any way, he had every right to remove it himself, but he obviously didn't feel that way.

 

I normally, do not like posting things of this sort, in the blogs, but I felt it necessary this time, just to clear up any misunderstandings.  

 

Thanks for the compliment and I love my new title..LOL...I always thought the MM in MMCounselor stood for Millionaire Match, not MaMa.

 

Best wishes,

Mama Britt

 

 


MM,

 

Thanks a lot Britt, for taking the time to clear the air. I completely agree with you on everything you've stated. And I can confirm that there was nothing offensive or hurtful in my original post. I'm not perfect, but I am the last person who would use offensive language in my posts or that the content thereof be offensive. That's just not my style. 

 

MaMa Britt, lol - I am glad you are not offended by my British sense of humour - you have my greatest respect!!

 

Orlando - I guess I owe you an apology for all this nonsense and for the thin-skinned person who went complaining to you and causing all this trouble. So I am sorry. However, you should have listened to Britt when she told you to leave it be - afterall, as she told you that, you should have had that as assurance that you won't get thrown into 'hot water' with Britt. Her word should have been good enough comfort for you.

 

Once again, thank you Britt for clearing this up. I am moving on now.

 

Liv.



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SpeedDallas Recommended
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Posted on Sun, Jul 28, 2013 04:40

File this under; Can't please all of the people all of the time and when attempted the below is the result. What a tremedous example of. As a man, straddling a fence is an uncumfortable position as it puts extreme weight on..................



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bepositive
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Posted on Fri, Jul 26, 2013 22:47

Perhaps MM needs to change a few things.........instead of allowing authors to pick and choose comments (on his/her blog) perhaps MM should be the only ones to remove a comment and take it out of the authors hands.  This would certainly stop all of this  confusion.  Complaints should go to MM anyways.

 

So sad to read all of this.



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MMCounselor Recommended
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Posted on Fri, Jul 26, 2013 09:24

Quoting Livnlov:

MM,

 

Well, this is surely interesting. As I have legal/judicial background, I am a little miffed by this new revelation!

 

Orlando - do you have any comment as to why you told me that people have complained about my comment on this your very own blog to MM? I still have the e-mail you sent to me to that effect in my inbox! Professionally, truth and facts matter much to me; personally even more!

 

I can't say that I am not deeply disappointed at the dis-convergence between the truth and the facts here!

 

It didn't bother me to edit my post, which was a first - everyone here knows I am honest in as courteous a manner as it's possible. And I do know that some people are cry babies and they would poke fire but go running to Mama Britt for succour, LOL.

 

Britt, greatest respect to you! I think you do a great job!!

 

Liv.



Hi Liv,

 

To set the record straight.....no member reported or complained about your comment to me, the member filed the complaint directly with Orlando. Orlando contacted me, asking what he should do about it and my advice was to leave it alone, as I felt the person who was complaining to Orlando, was basically asking him to do his dirty work and remove the comments.  IMHO, if someone has a problem with a blog or comment, they need to file the complaint with MM and not be asking the author of the blog to intervene and remove a comment they did not approve of.  Had Orlando personally felt the comment you made, was offensive in any way, he had every right to remove it himself, but he obviously didn't feel that way.

 

I normally, do not like posting things of this sort, in the blogs, but I felt it necessary this time, just to clear up any misunderstandings.  

 

Thanks for the compliment and I love my new title..LOL...I always thought the MM in MMCounselor stood for Millionaire Match, not MaMa.

 

Best wishes,

Mama Britt

 

 



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Livnlov
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Posted on Fri, Jul 26, 2013 04:32

Quoting bepositive:

I guess I am not understanding what has happened here.  Was your post removed Lin???  Did you remove it or someone else??   A few of my posts have been removed as well (recently) and just want to know if there is a glitch on the site.

thanks


BePositive,

Without meaning to re-hatch these matters all over again, I feel you deserve a response and an explanation of the background of this matter.

What has happened is that I posted a comment on this blog basically condemning the act of blocking people and shutting them down but backing it if it is employed to stop outright abuse. Shortly after, I received a private e-mail from Orlando telling me that he is getting into trouble with MM with multiple complaints from people to MM about his blogs. Then, he specifically stated that he has received another e-mail specific to this Judgmentalism blog and that he believes that someone has taken exception to my (so not offensive) post on his blog and could I please review my blog and change it in order that he avoids getting into trouble with MM. Even though I saw nothing wrong with my post as I try to be civil at all times; but more importantly in the spirit of looking out for my neighbour, albeit I am a terribly strong-willed person, I obliged him and I deleted the post rather than standing my grounds. As I was not furnished with the information as to which aspect of the post could have hurt this person and I also did not know who was offended, it made better sense to just delete the entire post and replace with an explanation and an apology to this faceless hurt 'person'.

Then, we received information from MM itself, clearly stating that they never received these 'phantom' complaints from anyone regarding our comments and they certainly did not censor our comment! Then MM returned the ball to Orlando's court to explain what had happended but Orland has not offered any explanations.

 

MM Counselor Quote: 

"Dakota,
 
MM never told you, you couldn't speak, and they didn't censor your comment.  I'm sure Orlando can explain what happened.  MM never received a complaint about you or Livnlov.
 
I think you just made a JUDGMENTAL call, that was incorrect...lol!"

So if MM did not receive any complaints about my comment or Dakota's comment on the Judgmentalism blog, WHO sent that E-MAIL to Orlando, to which Orlando referred in his communication with me? I still have Orlando's e-mail in my inbox and I am yet to receive any private or public explanation from Orlando. I have my plausible conclusions, but I would rather bite my tongue on them - at least for now. I really do hate nonsense like this!

So that is the long and short of it BePositive - I'm so sorry about it all, my dear.

 

Liv.



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bepositive
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Posted on Thu, Jul 25, 2013 17:56

I guess I am not understanding what has happened here.  Was your post removed Lin???  Did you remove it or someone else??   A few of my posts have been removed as well (recently) and just want to know if there is a glitch on the site.

thanks



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Livnlov
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Posted on Thu, Jul 25, 2013 04:57

Quoting MMCounselor:

Dakota,

 

MM never told you, you couldn't speak, and they didn't censor your comment.  I'm sure Orlando can explain what happened.  MM never received a complaint about you or Livnlov.

 

I think you just made a JUDGMENTAL call, that was incorrect...lol!

 

 


MM,

 

Well, this is surely interesting. As I have legal/judicial background, I am a little miffed by this new revelation!

 

Orlando - do you have any comment as to why you told me that people have complained about my comment on this your very own blog to MM? I still have the e-mail you sent to me to that effect in my inbox! Professionally, truth and facts matter much to me; personally even more!

 

I can't say that I am not deeply disappointed at the dis-convergence between the truth and the facts here!

 

It didn't bother me to edit my post, which was a first - everyone here knows I am honest in as courteous a manner as it's possible. And I do know that some people are cry babies and they would poke fire but go running to Mama Britt for succour, LOL.

 

Britt, greatest respect to you! I think you do a great job!!

 

Liv.



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Dakota35
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Posted on Tue, Jul 23, 2013 18:46

Quoting MMCounselor:

Dakota,

 

MM never told you, you couldn't speak, and they didn't censor your comment.  I'm sure Orlando can explain what happened.  MM never received a complaint about you or Livnlov.

 

I think you just made a JUDGMENTAL call, that was incorrect...lol!

 

 



Heard it through the Grapevine.  And Liv apparently heard something similar?  I figure people are to sensitive and MM has to put up with their whining so I just edited.  Doesn't bother me.



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MMCounselor Recommended
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Posted on Tue, Jul 23, 2013 06:28

Quoting Dakota35:

Apparently, I am not allowed to speak either.  So MM if we all stop speaking, your blogs will be dead.  We keep things alive on your site, appreciate it and tell the complainer(s) to can it.  Compare how civil these blogs are compared to other sites...then you might appreciate the caliber of your bloggers. 

 

 



Dakota,

 

MM never told you, you couldn't speak, and they didn't censor your comment.  I'm sure Orlando can explain what happened.  MM never received a complaint about you or Livnlov.

 

I think you just made a JUDGMENTAL call, that was incorrect...lol!

 

 



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Dakota35
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Posted on Mon, Jul 22, 2013 18:13

Quoting Livnlov:

DAK - Don't forget I can read your mind all the way from sunny Britain to hot Alabama, LOL! I know the precise part, LOL. But I am not allowed to speak anymore, apparently, LOL! I am glad you enjoyed it. It is British sense of humour most people don't get.....and sadly, I inherited mine from my Mother, so it is genetic and therefore incurable, LOL!

 

Liv.



Apparently, I am not allowed to speak either.  So MM if we all stop speaking, your blogs will be dead.  We keep things alive on your site, appreciate it and tell the complainer(s) to can it.  Compare how civil these blogs are compared to other sites...then you might appreciate the caliber of your bloggers. 

 

 



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Livnlov
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Posted on Mon, Jul 22, 2013 10:07

Quoting Dakota35:

I'm not going to tell you which parts of what you wrote I found humorous, but thanks for the laugh! 



DAK - Don't forget I can read your mind all the way from sunny Britain to hot Alabama, LOL! I know the precise part, LOL. But I am not allowed to speak anymore, apparently, LOL! I am glad you enjoyed it. It is British sense of humour most people don't get.....and sadly, I inherited mine from my Mother, so it is genetic and therefore incurable, LOL!

 

Liv.



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Dakota35
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Posted on Sun, Jul 21, 2013 23:04

Quoting Livnlov:

Greeneyes,

 

I think I like you! I am stunned that you were blocked by a stunning fellow blogger. Blogging or discourse is about maturity, mingling, diverse and differing opinions - and sometimes agreeing to disagree! Sometimes, when we really open our minds, we  could get an education from these diverse opinions, rich experiences and knowledge base of our friends here. I never appreciate people's compulsion to censor or stampede someone else just because their opinions do not align with their own agenda. You can disagree vehemently with someone, but is there really any need to block that person if that person hasn't been abusive or foul-mouthed? In my humble opinion, I find something terribly small-minded about such attitudes. If you don't want anyone to possibly disagree with you, and you cannot hold your own up in a civilised debate, then post your blogs and close it to everyone else but your favourites who worship at the alter of your vanity and who would never dare to disagree with you! How boring? Like the little new girl doing the Afro-Caribbean boobs expose!

 

I have only ever been blocked by a flowing white haired old man on this site who suddenly decided to unblock me for reasons best known to him and perhaps for when his season of madness had apparently passed completely unacknowledged by me; and another myopic-minded lady who just enjoyed a little too much, pontifications of holiness and exhibited an incurable obsession with the rich, noble, and/or famous! I just ignored them both as I couldn't be bothered with such mindless childishness. You could be blocked if you are being abusive, Greeneyes - I would support that. But knowing you, albeit yet briefly, I seriously doubt that you were abusive. To me, you are just a strongly opinionated, kind lady!

 

Welcome to the blogs Greeneyes and I hope you stick around!

 

Liv.


I have been censored therefore, I deleted what I wrote.  Sad that people have such hang-ups.  Just so everyone knows, it wasn't Orlando...so don't go blaming him.  It was the sensitive perfect people among us. :)  I wish I were perfect. :(



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Livnlov
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Posted on Sun, Jul 21, 2013 16:05

Quoting greenkindeyes:

I think this may be why I was removed from Stunning... blogs, she ended my ability to comment.  If you surround yourself with a community of people who only believe just as you do and remove anyone who will question your LOGIC, your dangeriously close to becoming judgemental and loosing total objectivity.  I invite counter thinking, appreciate knowing when I'm off or I didn't do a good job communicating.  I never mean harm, to anyone and slow to anger when I'm attacked.  I don't typically act like a child with fingers in my ears and singing "la la ala" when you speak....lol


Greeneyes,

 

I wrote you rather pleasant post on here and I have disagreed with you in the strongest terms thereafter in other blogs!

 

However, I received the most polite e-mail this afternoon from a lovely gentleman on here for whom I had nothing but the utmost respect, that for some weird reasons, he is being hassled by some certain nameless person who appears to have issues with my post to you on here.... and they are causing this fella problems. I would hate for any of my friends on here to get into trouble on my account so I have removed my post and replaced it with this notice! But I guess my best friend DAK may have already quoted me.

 

Sorry Greeneyes, if you did not get a chance to read it yet! I hope someday, we all could find some level of common ground, no matter how limited, but above all that we all consider each other's feelings and not hurt each other knowingly.

 

Whoever that person is, who has an issue with my post, it was my post and you could have come to me rather than getting an innocent man into trouble. It is not fair on this innocent bystander who did not author my post. Whoever you are, I did not set out to make you cry to Momma, believe me. And I am not that scary - and I woulnd't bite your head off!! :-)! OK - I can be scary, sometimes in the real world of legal nonsense, but certainly not on here. Whoever you are even though I don't know what your beef is I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. Please lighten up!

 

Liv.



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Posted on Sat, Jul 20, 2013 11:17

By the way u r always awesome and amazing blogs, interesting and full of info, and real, General culture! Go on u rock it prof.



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greenkindeyes
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Posted on Sat, Jul 20, 2013 08:34

Quoting Orlando__:

By writing this blog I will fall prey and be accused to the very thing I personally detest--judgmentalism.  I'm referring to those who feel the need to stand in judgment of and interfere in others actions. We all know who they are.

Before I get to my research let me state that judgmentalism is not all bad.  Yes, Hitler was a bad person.  Killing is terrible.  We make inconsequential judging of cars, colors, clothes, etc.  It is the person-focused judger I refer to who seems to lack a filter and feels compelled to judge other people's actions.  It's myopic.

So, in order to understand this judgmentalism I turned to reseach.  And what I found is interesting to me.

First, Bodenhausen, Gabriel, and Lineberger (200) have found that those having a "judgmental bias" are "sad" people. This sadness leads them to fall victim to "over judgments" as the authors state.

Second, research going back to 1992 has shown that "sad moods, in contrast, appear to be characterized by more extensive, detail-oriented information processing strategies" and "human inference and judgment" bias (see Forgas, 1995; Sinclair & Marks, 1992).  Put in laymen's terms, sad people feel a need to judge others and interfere in other people's lives more than happy people.

But why is this the case?

The answer lies in the third bit of research.  "Sad" judgers, according to Weary (1990) and Weary and Gannon (1996), "need to regain a sense of predictability and control over the environment."  In other words, because their own lives lack control they have a need to control others.

I'll end with this quote by Wayne Dyer: "When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."


Sources:

Bodenhausen, G. V., Gabriel, S., & Lineberger, M. (2000). Sadness and susceptibility to judgmental bias: The case of anchoring. Psychological Science, 11(4), 320-323.

Forgas, J.P. (1995). Mood and judgment: The affect infusion model (AIM). Psychological Bulletin, 117, 39–66.

Sinclair, R.C., & Marks, M.M. (1992). The influence of mood state on judgment and action: Effects on persuasion, categorization, social justice, person perception, and judgmental accuracy. In L.L. Martin & A. Tesser (Eds.), The construction of social judgment (pp. 165–193). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Weary, G. (1990). Depression and sensitivity to social information. In B.S. Moore & A.M. Isen (Eds.), Affect and social behavior
(pp. 207–230). Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.

Weary, G., & Gannon, K. (1996). Depression, control motivation, and person perception. In P.M. Gollwitzer & J.A. Bargh (Eds.), The psychology of action: Linking cognition and motivation to behavior
(pp. 146–167). New York: Guilford Press.



I think this may be why I was removed from Stunning... blogs, she ended my ability to comment.  If you surround yourself with a community of people who only believe just as you do and remove anyone who will question your LOGIC, your dangeriously close to becoming judgemental and loosing total objectivity.  I invite counter thinking, appreciate knowing when I'm off or I didn't do a good job communicating.  I never mean harm, to anyone and slow to anger when I'm attacked.  I don't typically act like a child with fingers in my ears and singing "la la ala" when you speak....lol



Unapologetically Feminine

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bepositive
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Posted on Fri, Jul 19, 2013 11:41

Bewell......welcome back to to the blogs....we have missed you.  As I recall there was a posie looking for you...hahaha

Totally agree with what you have said.  OMG just because we have our own opinions does it mean we are judgemental???    And Britt  (oh wise one) you have said it all.   Love it!!



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BeWell
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Posted on Thu, Jul 18, 2013 19:54

I think there is a difference between judgement and discernment. In the USA, our culture seems to attach an air of condemnation to the act of judgement, and discernment is a choice after careful consideration. Just my discerning opinion...... BeWell


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BeWell and wishing you only the best ! ..................;-D

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SpeedDallas Recommended
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Posted on Wed, Jul 17, 2013 18:21

Quoting MMCounselor:

Do we not judge, by the experiences in our lives?  I read this blog earlier and it sent me directly into the THINK TANK…you know that place you go, to assess a situation, gather information, form an opinion, in order to make a judgmental call of the subject at hand. 

I came to the conclusion, that it is very unfair to judge a judgmental person, as being a sad person.  How was that conclusion arrived at??  Did someone observe people, who in the eye of the observer, were judgmental and in turn, judged them to be sad people??  It just seems, there was lots of judging going on, in order to arrive at these accusations.   I know numerous people, both on this site and in the outside world, who are very judgmental, but are so, in a good way.  They would never say anything bad about anyone or anything, you know, the ones that run the Happy Bandwagon…..I swear they must fart rainbows; their faith in mankind is that strong.  I seriously doubt if they are sad people, even though they are judgmental when they believe everyone is “such a nice person”. 

Let’s face it….we all are judgmental people, in one way or another, good or bad.  We never label a person as being judgmental, until they voice an opinion, which might not line up with our own morals or beliefs…so we immediately judge them as being judgmental with a negative tone.  I’m not sure I could adequately function through life, if I didn’t have the right to judge.  I challenge all of you….the next time you are reading through profiles, trying to find your partner for life…or reading the blogs/forum here, do it without being judgmental…IMPOSSIBLE!!! 

 

 

As to the theory that judgmental people are sad, I say pffttt!  Let’s all fart rainbows!!!!!!!

 

Happy judging !

 

Britt



That's pretty funny. I judge you humorous. Oops, that's impossible. Oh dear. My head is spinning. How will I survive the next poker tourney? Hopefully better than last week's.



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Dakota35
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Posted on Wed, Jul 17, 2013 17:18

Quoting Mtnsunny:

I believe you can disagree with someone in a non judgmental way.  To judge is to criticize.  Many on here debate...sometimes we disagree with each other, but most on here are not being judgemental...just opinionated.  :)

 

As I said, who are we to be judgmental?  "Take the log out of your own eye before you try to take the speck from the eye of another."  If I were to say that there are some on here that seem to be too big for their pants, trying to use their intellect to put some in their places...that's my opinion, am I being judgmental, I don't believe so, it's my opinion. 

 

I believe this saying seems to sum it up..."great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."  It's one's opinion who falls in what mindset.



Right this moment I am judging Mtnsunny:  You are so much smarter than I, as you have stayed away from the "Not Guilty" blog.  You would think I would learn from my mistakes. :)  Whatever you do, don't go there...no matter your opinion. :)



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