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Orlando__
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Posted on Tue, May 28, 2013 06:49

"It's not a good fit."
"There just isn't any chemistry for me."
"I don't see this working out."

Online rejection is is par for the course. In some online sites, I have seen individuals complain of a 99% rejection rate or higher.  You like them, but they don't like you; they like you, but you don't like them.  Rejection sucks. 

According to Diane Barth, LCSW, who published an article in Psychology Today called "It's Not About You: Dealing with Internet Date Rejections" she points out the following ways to deal with it.

1.  It's not personal.  If they don't respond or send you the "no thanks" email, it is because it really isn't a fit for them.  You may be a great person but they have someone specific in mind. 

2. It takes two to tango.  If rejection is rampant, consider looking at yourself. Is your profile as good as it should be?  Are you aiming too high?  Have someone else look at it and give an honest opinion on how to improve it.

3. Most fail before they succeed. She suggests you look at it from a business viewpoint.  Most people trying to make it in business fail more than they succeed.  But it only takes one. So, don't give up.

4.  It's OK to feel bad.  Rejection can be hurtful but it can also make us stronger--if we let it.  Consider it a lesson in development. (Site note: Personally, I don't need or want that many lessons).

I like how my friend once told me when I was feeling bad about online rejection.  It changed my perspective on rejection 180 degrees.  He said, "Orlando, rejection is a good thing.  You don't want to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with you.  They did you a favor."



**My top strength is"learning." So, my blogs are learning-focused. ~Orlando

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summersun2003
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Posted on Thu, Jun 06, 2013 16:17

In life as in dating one has to prepared for the good and the not so good. We know who we are and what we desire and one short paragraph and a couple photos hardly is an accurate representation of us in our entiety.

Then there is the fact that we don't always photograph as well as we would like and unfortunatley but truly, first impressions are all we have to go on here.. However its a shot at finding that which we seek and the hope that someone would be attracted by what we have put out there about ourselves.

So, feel bad, but then cheer up and continue on, cuz you're worth it. There's someone out there for everyone; (sometimes not on the internet) and thank God the rejection is not face to face..

Never give up on your hopes and your dreams.



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Wed, May 29, 2013 06:53

I find someone considering ONLINE rejection is LUDICROUS!

 

How can someone REJECT you BEFORE they've ever met you???? 

 

To me, that would be akin to everyone we pass on the street as not "coming up to us and asking us out?" 

 

Makes no sense to me. 

 

NOW, I may very well feel the way I FEEL, merely due to the fact, I DON'T APPROACH MEN... 

 

I guess IF I were one of the women who DID approach men and I was not receiving positive responses? Well, I would feel very badly and take it personally... 

 

Hmmmm... Guess we know at least one reason why I won't approach a man... 

 

I don't like rejection..... AND I'M A CHICKEN!! 

 

OH! Thats 2 reasons! LOL... 


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EuropeanLiving
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Posted on Tue, May 28, 2013 11:40

I really believe people take it worse online than in real life. I havent been on a dating site until now, my exp is limited however i get the impression that everyone is ideal online. Or seems to think so. So when your ego takes a bump, even though you have time to create this ideal image of yours...i think it bothers people more.



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RealtorLulu
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Posted on Tue, May 28, 2013 07:54

It makes complete sense to me. Rejection always hurts even if just a little. The positive about online rejection, although a public venue, is that it's not public. You can take it, learn from it and move on without feeling embarrassed or having to explain your embarrassment to anyone.

 

Just like in business, if I speak to 100 prospects and get 1 to list with or buy a home through me, I've done well.

 

I don't see rejection as a good thing, as your friend says. It tends to bring us down and produce insecurities, even for the strongest of us. For folks who have low self esteem, it can cause depression. I do agree that if looked at with an open mind, there's a bright side to it. I would not want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. Better alone than in lousy company, right? Like you Orlando, I prefer not to get so many these lessons.

Thanks for the info.


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Lulu in Dallas

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