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NGL2011
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Posted on Sun, Jan 05, 2014 14:45

This couple I met a couple of years ago, so I haven't known them all that long but we have hung out quite a bit. Well one night a bunch of us were at a bon-fire party, and the husband brought up how hard it was to be monogamus for so long. They've been Married 20 years. His wife was sitting right next to him, and she agreed. I really don't think they are swingers or anything funky like that. Later I was talking with the wife, and she mentioned that they are very open and honest with each other and they don't hide anything from each other. Fast forward a few weeks, she tells me her husbands best friend is a woman he used to date before they met, and that she comes to their house for dinner. Of course me being as old fashion as I'm, I said, your a better person than me.

 

Now that was just a little set-up for this. The wife said to me another time that the last time her husbands friend came over, they had dinner, and she thanked the woman for being her husbands friend. I said, what ! she said yes I don't mind them being friends, I said OK (shaking my head) she said, she gives him something he doesn't get from me, so if she can give it to him, and it makes him feel more complete, I'm all for it. (she said it was nothing physical)

 

So people, tell me what you think about the little I've told you. About a married man's best friend being a woman he used to date.



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fishyme
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Posted on Mon, Jan 20, 2014 01:07

    @ Hoping, LMAO honey, The dust doesn't settle on either of us. Rubber boots around here is the norm for your fine dinning experience, comfort is equal to necessity in a rain forest. Sure girly looks great but baby only you can make a gumby suit look sexy! Maybe you can reason with your oil crew, that, much like a preacher who fleeces 10% of each sheeps yearly income you are God herself and deserve equal respect. Just a thought. Still got them shooters for you if things look like they're getting out of hand.


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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Sat, Jan 18, 2014 09:38

Quoting fishyme:

  @Hoping4Love...Honey, Do I have to set you up with a shooter just so you can feel safe at work? And you wonder why I feel safer with my brown bears instead of being around humans. At least bears have a good reason for comming after you, protecting their kids or their food. Humans just turn, they're all nuts [except ofcourse the few of us here,lol]. Get the flock out of that hood and quit worrying about the locals,usually for them adventure is traveling 3 blocks from the bar.

 

  If I may say, imho, parting ways with a guy who hangs on the edge of da hood and drinks where people are winging shots at each other shouldn't really be any great loss should it? It's your life changing info to leave,humm,easy to say. Fishing will slowly start getting ready in April here so until then its kick back and hibernate. I've never made it home sence I left last April, instead I've been hibernating on my little boat, watching movies, surfing the net, eating moose and fresh caught winter king salmon. Home has beans and rice,humm, thats a no brainer, I've got that here also.

 

  Hoping, If you'd like a chance to catch your breath we'll figure a way for you to get you nested up here, small but yours. Its a hell of a lot of different life than your used to but it would be a good breather for you. On the coast here its 35F [thats above], cold wet rain is normal. By May things are hopping for 3 1/2 months, temps also warm up. Tenders always need a cook/bookkeeper,day wages/% of season, different boats do different. All you need is some rubber boots, mostly girly cloths would be out of place, just your normal warm cloths seabags with a couple changes of town cloths.

 

  Hoping, I really hope your ok. Resilience sometimes, is all us salty dawgs have to chew on.



FISHY!!!

 

HAHA! Had to laugh at your traveling 3 blocks is their sense of adventure!! We know that isn't MY life!!

 

BY CHANCE / LUCk... GOD?? I found another pub I work in now. I don't think anyone has been shot, and much more established clientele... Daytime twice a week... Somehow my bartending for a bunch of oil field money,,,, um.. I mean men, yes, I mean men.. LoL... seems it may work out far better than my working on a vessel with the grunts!! :))))))

 

Now about the salty chewing dawgs... and my not wearing "girly clothes!!!"

 

You should know that would never fly for me!!

 

Princess heads to shop at VS for her "sexy" clothes!! HeeheeHee~~~~

 

 

 



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fishyme
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Posted on Thu, Jan 16, 2014 01:54

Quoting Linglit:

I don't think Id be so blind to think is just an innocent date with out sex. Maybe she's allowing him a "Hall Pass" from time to time. Just my 2cents.



  Humans are fun to watch sometimes but with so many variables to throw in the mix I'm just an old fud and wish everyone Good Luck. Seems to sum me up the best.


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fishyme
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Posted on Thu, Jan 16, 2014 01:38

Quoting Diana3316:

Hope!!!

 

How are you???  I hope everything is well in your world and you are looking forward to a most excellent new year.  You have been missed.  You were the first person Fishy asked about when he came back ashore.  Hope you can stick around and lay some pearls on us.  *wink* :)



  Hi Lady Di, It's a trip seeing Hoping after so long. I've just been hiding in my nest this winter, I can hardly believe that I found the energy to post my Home Port blog,lol. I still laugh thinking about your furry wintertime legs its just that time of the year. A couple of more months and I'll think about crawling out of my burrow but the pace here now is sleep [still catching up on last years].  We'll see what Hoping thinks about traveling younder. Might do her some good and my pictures sure would improve if she was in them  [smile].


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fishyme
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Posted on Thu, Jan 16, 2014 01:07

  @Hoping4Love...Honey, Do I have to set you up with a shooter just so you can feel safe at work? And you wonder why I feel safer with my brown bears instead of being around humans. At least bears have a good reason for comming after you, protecting their kids or their food. Humans just turn, they're all nuts [except ofcourse the few of us here,lol]. Get the flock out of that hood and quit worrying about the locals,usually for them adventure is traveling 3 blocks from the bar.

 

  If I may say, imho, parting ways with a guy who hangs on the edge of da hood and drinks where people are winging shots at each other shouldn't really be any great loss should it? It's your life changing info to leave,humm,easy to say. Fishing will slowly start getting ready in April here so until then its kick back and hibernate. I've never made it home sence I left last April, instead I've been hibernating on my little boat, watching movies, surfing the net, eating moose and fresh caught winter king salmon. Home has beans and rice,humm, thats a no brainer, I've got that here also.

 

  Hoping, If you'd like a chance to catch your breath we'll figure a way for you to get you nested up here, small but yours. Its a hell of a lot of different life than your used to but it would be a good breather for you. On the coast here its 35F [thats above], cold wet rain is normal. By May things are hopping for 3 1/2 months, temps also warm up. Tenders always need a cook/bookkeeper,day wages/% of season, different boats do different. All you need is some rubber boots, mostly girly cloths would be out of place, just your normal warm cloths seabags with a couple changes of town cloths.

 

  Hoping, I really hope your ok. Resilience sometimes, is all us salty dawgs have to chew on.


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leonicvirgo
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Posted on Mon, Jan 13, 2014 11:55

"Hall Pass".....Like others have will over individuals. Dominance... some's obsessions. Swingers live the love we crave. 



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ideal_Diamond
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Posted on Mon, Jan 13, 2014 11:15

I really believe in the old school kind of loving/marriage..but then I'm very modern so I add a little bit of modern spice and its just perfect.!. Old school loving works for my parents for 32years now and it will continue to work.. iam not a fan of open relationships or open marriages. if you ask me, the woman (wife) seem to have some insecurities even though you say she is pretty and has an MBA and is also a successful business woman but some women may have all that but still feel insecure in a relationship so I'm not surprised!!  first of all, why would she say "she gives him something he doesn't get from me"? really Lady? what can another woman possibly give to your husband that you as a fellow woman CANNOT do all you can to give it to him?  then she also said, "if she can give it to him and makes him more comfortable, I'm all for it" boom!! insecurities right there.. why put the happiness of your husband or home..in the hands of another woman? ask your man whatever it is that his EX girlfriend is giving to him and match it up afterall he is first and foremost your man. is it friendship? companionship? does she listen to him more than you? Etc, it could be anything. And since they both claim to be very open and honest about everything then he can tell her whatever it is about that other woman that he can not seem to let go of..I will feel very uncomfortable to have my husband remain close friend with his EX girlfriend..but then again maybe its just me.. 20years Is a really long time. they need to spice up their marriage though..monogamy is HARD the solution is always to spice things up and not let another woman spice it up for you cos she might end up adding too much spice and then you loose your spot haha



"Do unto others what you would wish they do unto you" ..~ annonymous

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3345roc
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Posted on Thu, Jan 09, 2014 04:34

Of course you can get everything you need from one person ... if that person is you.  If you don't you'll know who to blame.

Let your aspirations soar, write them down and do everything you can to make them happen.  Celebrate your successes and learn from your failures.

Limit your expectations because they require that someone else does something.

Don't judge others, it's not your job.  Instead of trying to find the right person, try being the right person.



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louis71
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Posted on Wed, Jan 08, 2014 20:01

No doubt about that  I agree 100% with you



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Linglit
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Posted on Tue, Jan 07, 2014 17:17

I don't think Id be so blind to think is just an innocent date with out sex. Maybe she's allowing him a "Hall Pass" from time to time. Just my 2cents.



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Tue, Jan 07, 2014 13:22

NOVEMBERJULITTE!!

 

*******************

In my case I was always surprised when guys would Sometimes draw  a far more flattering portrait of  me than they drew while we were together! 

*************************

 

HAHAHAHA! Ain't it the truth! TOO FUNNY!!!!! 



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Tue, Jan 07, 2014 13:20

Quoting Diana3316:

"Is it possible to get everything you need from just one person ?"

**********

Hmmmm.....I struggled with that question for a long time after my divorce.  I internalized it and kept examining myself over and over trying to figure out why I wasn't enough for him.  Especially viewing the women he cheated on me with!  But I guess even hamburger is good sometimes.  lolol

That was 27 years ago....so I view things much differently now.  Now I believe it's the 'lie' that's the sin against the marriage....not the sex outside of marriage.  But if you want to have sex outside of marriage it should be known and agreed upon by the other, with an equal opportunity. 

The rules of the game should be the same for both parties.  It's a bad foul if one thinks they are playing by one set of rules, while the other is playing by another set.  BUT, if you want to play by open rules....you have to be prepared that the other may be able to play just as hard....and perhaps even harder than you can.

Personally, I think if you are married....or in any committed relationship for that matter.....you should be 'all in'.  Totally focused and devoted to bringing your 'A' game each and every day to your partner!  For me, it isn't about some Judeo-Christian morality regulation.  It's about doing and giving my very best to the most important thing in my life!  That's how I want to choose to roll. 

 

To answer your question:  Yes, I think it is possible to get everything you need from just one person.  But life is a continuum and people grow…..and sometimes it’s apart. 



I agree LADY DI!!!! 

 

And love the final line NGL quoted from you!! 

 

I am NOT for "open" relationships. I've never seen one of them work for the long haul.

 

IN OR OUT for me!!

 

And right now?

 

I'M OUT!! :( 



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Tue, Jan 07, 2014 13:17

Quoting orange2004:

i don't think it's possible to have everything you want in a person! 

what you want and what you need is not the same... and sometimes... they are almost opposite... and at some point you have to make a choice... should i be with someone that i need or more with someone I want....

i've dated, met, and loved so many men through the years... and in the end... it all comes down to this... 

in fact, most of my break up line is... "You are everything that I ever wanted... but you can't be what i need..." 

or the other way around... "You are exactly what i need but there are things that i want in a man that you just can't be or don't have... and it's not your fault... some of those things are genetic..."

and it always end up breaking my heart to realize times and again that it's possible that he doesn't exist...

and it's probably my fault because what i want and what i need don't agree at times. i know this best. and it builds fear for me over time when i enter relationship... because i know that i have to eventually pick. 



Oh YES!!

 

There are times when what we DESIRE and what we NEED do not align together!!

 

SO VERY TRUE!!

 

Best wishes in your stars aligning in 2014!!! :)



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Tue, Jan 07, 2014 13:14

Quoting Diana3316:

Hope!!!

 

How are you???  I hope everything is well in your world and you are looking forward to a most excellent new year.  You have been missed.  You were the first person Fishy asked about when he came back ashore.  Hope you can stick around and lay some pearls on us.  *wink* :)



LADY DI!! I've missed it here!! And missed you!!

 

My life took a nose dive last weekend. My job as bartender at local pub ceased due to lack of clients. Owner is working hours so she doesn't have to pay another bartender and she can collect the tips. Times are difficult all over and one thing I had been enduring was, 

 

the place I worked was on the edge of "da hood!" 

 

In fact, a couple of weeks before i was hired, a customer had been shot in the bar. There is a hole in the ATM to this day. I met the guy who was shot. Thank God he survived! But Lafayette has had an awful string of robberies, etc.. (some violent!) From Dollar Generals to Credit Unions to local bars!!

 

I also struggled emotionally with serving "locals" who had definitely drank too much and then seeing them leave... I am a people person and enjoy the service industry, but must admit... seeing people leave drunk was a bit unsettling.

 

I feel a bar job at a restaurant might be better, but for now.. it's only been a couple of days, so I am still processing this life changing info. 

 

Additionally, the guy I was dating and I also parted ways a couple of days before New Years, so the cloud looms thick...

 

HO HUM---

 

Oh well, if I am not anything.. I AM RESILIENT!! :)  

 

Hope you are doing well.. LOVE the new pic!! :)))))))) 



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Hoping4Love2000
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Posted on Tue, Jan 07, 2014 13:02

Quoting NGL2011:

@ Hopelovey,,I didn't say I believe them..LOL However it does bring another question into play,,Is it possible to get everything you need from just one person ?



WHEW~~~~

 

Glad to see you didn't fall for that!! LoL... 

 

NOW, to answer the question "Can we get everything we NEED in just one person?" 

 

herein lies the answer.. (Let me pull out my philosophical side.. HA!) 

 

Being that we live in an imperfect world, and we are all imperfect individuals, there is absolutely NO WAY one can mold perfection out of something imperfect. Even newborn babies, the most beautiful of all creations, have flaws... some visual, others not seen until long after birth. 

 

So, NO--- 

 

We cannot encompass THE ALL in ANY relationship. 

 

The KEY is to ACCEPT you won't receive THE ALL, and find the spouse you get the glass most full with. 

 

I once thought marriage was all about LOVE.., 

 

Years after my divorce, I found I was entirely incorrect.

 

Marriage is a CONTRACT between a man and woman stating the instances they will uphold within the contract. I believe vows once read, OBEY!! ?? That has been tossed out now. WHY? B/C women are not to OBEY.. Women are EQUAL PARTNERS in a marriage.

 

Marriage is about a commitment between 2 people..

 

The largest part of that commitment I see?

 

That when the going gets tough and one doesn't feel they receive THE ALL from their partner-- They stick it out due to the COMMITMENT they VOWED to UPHOLD....

 

I guess that sounds a bit NON-Romantic for a princess-- 

 

But marriages based on romance alone? They fade in time, just like the dress and the memory of that one day wearing it. 

 

What has to last forever? 

 

COMMITMENT... 

 

I, to this day, LOVE the father of my children. Yes, the love has changed... 

But the LOVE wasn't what failed.. MY COMMITMENT TO HIM DID..

 

Love comes and goes... Takes on different levels and mutates through the years...

But contracts remain the same and are valid, until they are voidable.. 

 

Ask any real estate agent! ;) 



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NGL2011
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Posted on Tue, Jan 07, 2014 11:32

@Orange, The wife in this situation is beautiful, has an MBA, a great sense of humor and an accomplished local business woman. They are a great couple. She as far as I can see does not lack confidence at all.

 

I'm just seeking to understand their relationship. I guess because it's something I haven't heard of before.



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Posted on Tue, Jan 07, 2014 10:07

i don't think it's possible to have everything you want in a person! 

what you want and what you need is not the same... and sometimes... they are almost opposite... and at some point you have to make a choice... should i be with someone that i need or more with someone I want....

i've dated, met, and loved so many men through the years... and in the end... it all comes down to this... 

in fact, most of my break up line is... "You are everything that I ever wanted... but you can't be what i need..." 

or the other way around... "You are exactly what i need but there are things that i want in a man that you just can't be or don't have... and it's not your fault... some of those things are genetic..."

and it always end up breaking my heart to realize times and again that it's possible that he doesn't exist...

and it's probably my fault because what i want and what i need don't agree at times. i know this best. and it builds fear for me over time when i enter relationship... because i know that i have to eventually pick. 



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Posted on Tue, Jan 07, 2014 09:56

I'm the best friend of the husband.

I mean I'm in that woman's shoe. 

But his wife is not like the ones in this situation. 

His wife is easily jealous and can't stand me. She thinks I'm prettier than her, smarter than her, and that her husband is still in love with me. 

I wish his wife is more like the wife you describe here. She is understanding of the basic fact that memories no matter far away will always be there and cannot be erased, there is such a thing as true friendship between males and females. She is also confident enough in herself and in her love for her husband and his love for her to accept this other woman. 

Although i admire my friend as the way his wife admires him, I don't love him the way she does. I'm not physically attracted to him. But she doesn't understand that. And he is the same... he simply admires me and we shared a lot of beautiful memories together and it's something abstract and beyond physical. 

perhaps it's just something she never have or understand. or maybe she is so insecure about everything including herself that she can't get pass the fact that there was, is, and will never be anything between me and her husband that is sexual. 

so i admire and applaud the woman in this situation. she is mature and confidence and understanding of the situation. and given the choice, if i was the wife... i would not only approve of this situation but become this other woman's best friend as well.

it seems the wisest thing to do. if i can't be a part of that far away memory that i can't fight either... then i rather make news one with the three of us. 

 

the thing most people don't understand is... you can't fight with fantasy or momeries because they are so personal to the individual that trying to fight it is a for sure loosing battle. that's why one should never bring up the past and imagine the future based on that past. it's smartest to look at the present and accept the potential future. 



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NGL2011
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Posted on Tue, Jan 07, 2014 07:51

Quoting Diana3316:

"Is it possible to get everything you need from just one person ?"

**********

Hmmmm.....I struggled with that question for a long time after my divorce.  I internalized it and kept examining myself over and over trying to figure out why I wasn't enough for him.  Especially viewing the women he cheated on me with!  But I guess even hamburger is good sometimes.  lolol

That was 27 years ago....so I view things much differently now.  Now I believe it's the 'lie' that's the sin against the marriage....not the sex outside of marriage.  But if you want to have sex outside of marriage it should be known and agreed upon by the other, with an equal opportunity. 

The rules of the game should be the same for both parties.  It's a bad foul if one thinks they are playing by one set of rules, while the other is playing by another set.  BUT, if you want to play by open rules....you have to be prepared that the other may be able to play just as hard....and perhaps even harder than you can.

Personally, I think if you are married....or in any committed relationship for that matter.....you should be 'all in'.  Totally focused and devoted to bringing your 'A' game each and every day to your partner!  For me, it isn't about some Judeo-Christian morality regulation.  It's about doing and giving my very best to the most important thing in my life!  That's how I want to choose to roll. 

 

To answer your question:  Yes, I think it is possible to get everything you need from just one person.  But life is a continuum and people grow…..and sometimes it’s apart. 



@Diana, " To answer your question:Yes, I think it is possible to get everything you need from just one person.But life is a continuum and people grow…..and sometimes it’s apart. "

 

Very well said, I think that way also.



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