The past year I have assisted in establishing over 450+ projects, for people from nothing.
I know I said all those things which I personally want in my life..it is something i need to keep my sanity at times to want those things.
I am a female as you know, I have spinal situation/.
I created my life over again by re education of myself in... Screen and Media, Production, Music Business, Business , Pr and recording.
Te past ten thirteen years, I built up a network thought my own research of over90,000 Entertainment families. Not one cent came from anywhere.. As no one believed in me.
I have done 19 music videos for others , written two books, write blogs and empower many people. I have not been in the 'Limelight'. I taken photographs on many things since I was given my first box brownie..at the age a four.
I was ready and writing at the age of 2.
I sent over 100,000 books to the pacific for the communities over there, and gave that area of network to Rotary clubs in Sydney when they took it over in 2007. I established all that from not having a penny to my name.
Everything I have done was from nothing, no money, no one behind me.
I wanted someone to love me for me.. so I went on line
Now I am clarifying that I know what it is like to be well off and also when you have nothing.
I want to play ,, enjoy life, for people and established many things in those past years since my divorce in 2003.
I grew up all over the place and met many people, well known and not so.. I was raped in 2004 and had major surgery then and in 2011.
I assisted many people, yet when I need to be looked after..no one came..only three people out of the thousands ...
I am not a celebrity, or a well known star,, of business person.
When I worked in Telecom I was in fiance and accounting and handled million to the new infrastructure of cabling in and around Sydney and optical cable from NSW to Victoria.
The store guys nicked named me boots, as I was the one woman who went out in the field into their domain and seen how they worked, I even used a forklift..hence the name boots.
I have been with many artists, picking them up and empowering them to create their passions and dreams, admitting I have lost a few, through suicides.
I treat everyone with respect no matter who they are.
I give food to the street people when they are begging..as that will fill their stomics up or a warm blanket ,,,When I am able to do so.
I want a life where love is there for me. So I can curl up and just be.
When relationships are driven by complaint or by keeping track of who did what, or the need to be right, to control, the wonderful world of human possibilites ceased reverberate through them.* Possibilities between people require a space in which to create, and when that space isn’t there, most likely it’s because we’re holding on to something incomplete from the past.
Completing things comes down to a matter of getting beyond the “yeah buts” and “how ’bouts” and the “but ifs,” past our old assumptions about “the way things have been” and creating a context of our own choosing.When we experience things as beingcomplete, it’s a state change, from being a character in a story to being the space in which the stories occurs—to being the author, as it were. And because relationships exist in language (not just as a set of feelings or accumliation of experiences, for example), there’s a malleability, a plasticity, a can-be moved-around-ness about them. When we shift the locus of our dissatisfaction and complaints from something that exists “out there,” to something that’s located “in” what we are saying (language), what’s possible shifts.Being satisfied is not a feeling later labeled with the word “satisfaction,” rather it is a commitment, a stand we’re taking for that possibility. It’s a transformation—a contextual shift from being organized around “getting satisfied” to an experience of “being satisfied”—that alters the very nature of what’s possible.When we compromise, even in the tiniest of matters, it’s easier for those compromises to become more and more commonplace.
Over time, bit by bit, this erodes our sense of self. It’s like stirring one drop of red paint into a can of white. The paint may turn only the palest shade of pink, and while that might seem barely noticeable—no matter what we say about it—the paint is no longer what it was. Similarly, when the wholeness and completeness of who we are is jeopardized in some way, albeit imperceptible at first, our sense of ourselves gets obscured, making it harder to return to who we are. When that begins, there’s really no starting point to become ourselves—it’s all flailing around.
The possibility of fully being ourselves occurs in proportion to our being authentic. Living with a pretense, or being afraid that some aspect of ourselves might be found out, precludes any real freedom. Being authentic requires courage. There is no template to follow, no zeitgeist to read, no known path to success. It’s a matter of courage—a matter of creating possibility. It gets made up as we go along, and it is this shift that makes available to us the full possibility of being human, Your inner Voice:The inner voice doesn’t so much conjure up the consolation of inner riches as it does a chattering internal radio. But our inner voice is at least faithful to us—it is reassuringly or irritatingly there on tap. It offers us the unfailing if ambiguous company of a guest who does not plan to leave. It can be companionable or frightening, may range from fascinated eavesdropping of oneself to a brooding censor within—an internal dialogue that occupies both sides. There is a voice— questioned as to its origin, we have no doubt that it’s ours, but its habitual presence resembles a rapid low-grade commentary without authorship, rather in the manner of Samuel Beckett’s assesment: “whose voice, no one’s.” We are essentially in conversations with ourselves most all the time— conversations about what’s going well and what’s not, what others think, what we think, how we feel, the invariable what ifs, how abouts, are you kiddings?, etc. That voiceover, that running stream of thinking and history and rumination, is not necessarily bad—it’s just, we never really get to hear another or they us. We pretty much listen only through the filter of what’s in our heads. What we’re saying to others, or they to us, might seep in from time to time, but it isn’t in what we or they are saying—it’s what we’re saying plus what they are saying about what we’re saying, which isn’t what we’re saying, etc., and vice versa. That inner voice is a subtle and pervasive presence, and unfortunately has us miss out on the full possibility of communication and the infinite worlds it makes available. The business of living—our work, our mores, our relationships with friends, associates, and loved ones—is accomplished through speaking and listening.