Is this nuts or what ? I'm in a middle of divorce, but in good terms with my wife because we never fight or argued seriously (other than the 1st couple of years of marriage), I buy her everything she wants, and she can do anything she wants - and took her to dinner about 2 to 3 times a week. And plenty of Caribbean islands, and world travels. We have had a very peacefully life in our (what I call) our Platonic Relationship. Being a Scorpio, (proud of it) I have also have never cheated on her, and I'm proud of my loyalty. Anyway, kind of lonely at new years she wanted me to take her dancing and listening to bands and fireworks at the fairground for New Years Eve. I said fine and took her dancing. Had some drinks and a good time.
Here's my problem. Now I'm getting emails wanting me to take her on a Cruise. She sends me all these Travel Agency Brochures and wants me to pick my choice.
I don't mind taking her if that's what she wants, but is it wise?, am I wrong to coddle her?, or am I just plain out of my mind ? I'd love to hear your ideas what you did while your papers were pending. BTW: She suggested the divorce to make me happier, therefore we both are in agreement without an argument.
Is this nuts or what ?
I'm in a middle of divorce, but in good terms with my wife because we never fight or argued seriously (other than the 1st couple of years of marriage), I buy her everything she wants, and she can do anything she wants - and took her to dinner about 2 to 3 times a week. And plenty of Caribbean islands, and world travels. We have had a very peacefully life in our (what I call) our Platonic Relationship.
Being a Scorpio, (proud of it) I have also have never cheated on her, and I'm proud of my loyalty.
Anyway, kind of lonely at new years she wanted me to take her dancing and listening to bands and fireworks at the fairground for New Years Eve. I said fine and took her dancing. Had some drinks and a good time.
Here's my problem. Now I'm getting emails wanting me to take her on a Cruise. She sends me all these Travel Agency Brochures and wants me to pick my choice.
I don't mind taking her if that's what she wants, but is it wise?, am I wrong to coddle her?, or am I just plain out of my mind ?
I'd love to hear your ideas what you did while your papers were pending.
BTW: She suggested the divorce to make me happier, therefore we both are in agreement without an argument.
Hope you are back in the south again. I know how terrifying being on the road can be....in bad weather and when alone! Best wishes princess...and be careful. I always appreciate you posts, wit and time. :))
I guess 1love decided to peel out???? Maybe he took her on the cruise. *wink*
Hope~
Hope you are back in the south again. I know how terrifying being on the road can be....in bad weather and when alone! Best wishes princess...and be careful. I always appreciate you posts, wit and time. :))
I guess 1love decided to peel out???? Maybe he took her on the cruise. *wink*
@ Hoping,Sandbags are good.Slowing down is better.Many of us northern people types have our stories of winter roads.Your probably in Hotlanta by now but if you can only drive 25 mph thats just the speed you have to drive.
@ Pat.I saw your deer horn shed post and did smile,thank you.Them little mice like the calcium in the horns.
The more I know people the more I like dogs.
@ Hoping,Sandbags are good.Slowing down is better.Many of us northern people types have our stories of winter roads.Your probably in Hotlanta by now but if you can only drive 25 mph thats just the speed you have to drive.
@ Pat.I saw your deer horn shed post and did smile,thank you.Them little mice like the calcium in the horns.
Ur the bestest CG! I really appreciate your wit and words of wisedom! I consider you a 1 percenter. That means in the top 1 percent; not the bottom 1 percent! *wink* :)
Ur the bestest CG! I really appreciate your wit and words of wisedom! I consider you a 1 percenter. That means in the top 1 percent; not the bottom 1 percent! *wink* :)
YOUR WELCOME~~ I feel your word BAFFLED was best to use in this case... I too am baffled...
I do note how ppl think and operate differently..
I said RUDE- You said BAFFLED I said MEAN SPIRITED...
I really meant "Classless".. yet you used "dignified"...
It's all in how one chooses their verbiage... I hope some learn to use words with a little more "empathy" to others situations... Makes for a more "refined" and "likable" person.. doncha think? LOL
And I too agree with the statement regarding this site... Sure, there are plenty of places to roam and find garbage.. but that isn't what makes me remain here... It is people as yourself and many others who have given me insight in areas I needed guidance ... (even just silly things as a man only asking out for cup of coffee! LOL) I'm not saying this is what I seek... I SEEK A GREAT STEAK DINNER W/ LOBSTER!! HaHa.. BUT... I can certainly understand men (and women) feeling used... I don't do that and I would never wish to give that impression..
I think we ALL have have MUCH to learn... but this won't happen without LISTENING to one another... HEARING is with the ears.. LISTENING is with the HEART!!
I was/am willing to hear JENKNEE's views on WHY MISSING1 should not be here.. but was never given a response... I would listen and am certain to have understood some points... But that doesn't mean I change my mind..
Me? I heard the coffee blog.. (LOL) But I still want my steak!! Hey! A girl's gotta eat! ;)
Anyway... I will take up no more of you guys time here except to say MISSING.. Hope if/when you finally review.. you gather some great insight in many directions and we haven't confused you more! ;)
LEAVE ALL CONFUSED THOUGHTS TO THE PRINCESS! HaHa
Headed back on road.. Turns out I broke my "straight through" record yesterday... I stopped in Columbus Indiana... Turns out Black Beauty (quad cab hemi) does not do so well driving in snow.. I drove from Highland Park snowing entire way.. She started weaving and not stopping right.. I was BAFFLED!! HA!! (my new word! LOL) I have to confess.. THIS FLORIDA GIRL WAS SCARED!! :( I didn't understand why my truck was fishtailing constantly... I was in Indianapolis and she had been weaving so uncontrollably that I stayed in left lane with flashers on.. Well I was there driving only 52 in a 65.. BUT... I felt that this was better option than me fishtailing in other lane and wiping out 3 lanes of traffic.. THERE WAS NO WHERE FOR ME TO STOP OR I WOULD HAVE.. And I think that actually concludes my point...
FROM ALL APPEARANCES... I was just an idiot with Florida plates that couldn't drive.. Little did others know.. I drove with flashers in left lane so IF I did wipe out ... I'd only take me and the cement wall in process... rather than taking out 3 rows of people who are loved by others..
Guess I am rambling this morning cause I am either not ready to go face the snow again.. or the 17 degree weather.. Spoke to a friend last night.. It's in 70's and 80's where I come from.. LOL
OH! But for anyone wondering or inexperienced.. TRUCKS DON'T DO WELL IN SNOW.. Esp if they are not 4x's... I am too "front heavy" which makes me fish tail when I hit ice.. (and was it ever bad here yesterday!) So I am headed to Menards to get sand bags before I head out!
HAVE A GREAT DAY TO ALL!! ;)
Pic of beginning of my trip... and it only got worse.. I hope the trucker was not hurt!! Ten accidents in 6 hours!!)
Lady DI..
YOUR WELCOME~~ I feel your word BAFFLED was best to use in this case... I too am baffled...
I do note how ppl think and operate differently..
I said RUDE- You said BAFFLED
I said MEAN SPIRITED...
I really meant "Classless".. yet you used "dignified"...
It's all in how one chooses their verbiage...
I hope some learn to use words with a little more "empathy" to others situations... Makes for a more "refined" and "likable" person.. doncha think? LOL
And I too agree with the statement regarding this site... Sure, there are plenty of places to roam and find garbage.. but that isn't what makes me remain here... It is people as yourself and many others who have given me insight in areas I needed guidance ... (even just silly things as a man only asking out for cup of coffee! LOL) I'm not saying this is what I seek... I SEEK A GREAT STEAK DINNER W/ LOBSTER!! HaHa.. BUT... I can certainly understand men (and women) feeling used... I don't do that and I would never wish to give that impression..
I think we ALL have have MUCH to learn... but this won't happen without LISTENING to one another... HEARING is with the ears.. LISTENING is with the HEART!!
I was/am willing to hear JENKNEE's views on WHY MISSING1 should not be here.. but was never given a response... I would listen and am certain to have understood some points... But that doesn't mean I change my mind..
Me? I heard the coffee blog.. (LOL) But I still want my steak!! Hey! A girl's gotta eat! ;)
Anyway... I will take up no more of you guys time here except to say MISSING.. Hope if/when you finally review.. you gather some great insight in many directions and we haven't confused you more! ;)
LEAVE ALL CONFUSED THOUGHTS TO THE PRINCESS! HaHa
Headed back on road.. Turns out I broke my "straight through" record yesterday... I stopped in Columbus Indiana... Turns out Black Beauty (quad cab hemi) does not do so well driving in snow.. I drove from Highland Park snowing entire way.. She started weaving and not stopping right.. I was BAFFLED!! HA!! (my new word! LOL) I have to confess.. THIS FLORIDA GIRL WAS SCARED!! :( I didn't understand why my truck was fishtailing constantly... I was in Indianapolis and she had been weaving so uncontrollably that I stayed in left lane with flashers on.. Well I was there driving only 52 in a 65.. BUT... I felt that this was better option than me fishtailing in other lane and wiping out 3 lanes of traffic.. THERE WAS NO WHERE FOR ME TO STOP OR I WOULD HAVE.. And I think that actually concludes my point...
FROM ALL APPEARANCES... I was just an idiot with Florida plates that couldn't drive.. Little did others know.. I drove with flashers in left lane so IF I did wipe out ... I'd only take me and the cement wall in process... rather than taking out 3 rows of people who are loved by others..
Guess I am rambling this morning cause I am either not ready to go face the snow again.. or the 17 degree weather.. Spoke to a friend last night.. It's in 70's and 80's where I come from.. LOL
OH! But for anyone wondering or inexperienced.. TRUCKS DON'T DO WELL IN SNOW.. Esp if they are not 4x's... I am too "front heavy" which makes me fish tail when I hit ice.. (and was it ever bad here yesterday!) So I am headed to Menards to get sand bags before I head out!
HAVE A GREAT DAY TO ALL!! ;)
Pic of beginning of my trip... and it only got worse.. I hope the trucker was not hurt!! Ten accidents in 6 hours!!)
~ Missing 1 Love~..C'monn man, SNAP OUT OF IT!...Shoot her...and take the dog on a trip to the beach. A lot less expensive. Probably more fun too.
After my last date on here...I don't have a high opinion of most women folk right now. Send them all to Afghanistan for a month. Here honey, have a nice trip to fricken Kabul!
My word, Voyager. What in blue blazes did your last date from MM do to you? Shoot YOUR dog? Tell you she thought you were ugly? Show up looking more like Freddy Kruger than the ex-Playboy Bunny she claimed to be in her profile? Or was she was one of those horribly condescending, demanding, super b****es whose only joy in life is emasculating men?
This too shall pass--once the moon gets back to its regular shape.
LOL
Quoting Voyager54:
~ Missing 1 Love~..C'monn man, SNAP OUT OF IT!...Shoot her...and take the dog on a trip to the beach. A lot less expensive. Probably more fun too.
After my last date on here...I don't have a high opinion of most women folk right now. Send them all to Afghanistan for a month. Here honey, have a nice trip to fricken Kabul!
My word, Voyager. What in blue blazes did your last date from MM do to you? Shoot YOUR dog? Tell you she thought you were ugly? Show up looking more like Freddy Kruger than the ex-Playboy Bunny she claimed to be in her profile? Or was she was one of those horribly condescending, demanding, super b****es whose only joy in life is emasculating men?
This too shall pass--once the moon gets back to its regular shape.
Hope and Pat…Thanks a bunch!! I appreciate your bold and empathetic statements of support. Yes, there may be some topics we three ladies view from different standpoints, but when we see something that isn’t right, we speak up.
While cat fights may be entertaining to view from the sidelines, they do little to display a woman’s dignity or intellect. I agree….this is a serious blog and it deserves respect. While I remain baffled, I think it best to just ease on away. There are plenty of posts from me on these blogs, that give evidence to my nature.
Thank you ladies!!
Hope and Pat…Thanks a bunch!! I appreciate your bold and empathetic statements of support. Yes, there may be some topics we three ladies view from different standpoints, but when we see something that isn’t right, we speak up.
While cat fights may be entertaining to view from the sidelines, they do little to display a woman’s dignity or intellect. I agree….this is a serious blog and it deserves respect. While I remain baffled, I think it best to just ease on away. There are plenty of posts from me on these blogs, that give evidence to my nature.
I remember when you first started. LOL Nuff said. :)
And I remember when I first started. We all make mistakes, and we'll all make some more. Often I recognize newcomers' mistakes because I made the same ones. I hope I continue to learn from mine......and yours.:):):) And I do value your friendship. One of the reasons I value it is you did show yourself to be a quality person, day in, day out, whether we agree or not.
And JenKnee,
You are right. Other forums online are far more brutal. But I would hope that THIS one would be about support, in finding what we're all looking for (whatever that might be.)
And support sometimes means calling it like you see it. Sometimes we need to hear what WE don't see ourselves. Missng1 will look back a year from now and wonder why on earth he asked such a question, because, no matter which path he takes, he'll know THEN which was correct. ......But he doesn't know it now, so he asked. So, for now, for him, it's not a ridiculous question at all. So, he is getting many varied answers, including your original advice. I didn't necessarily agree with it, but I acknowledge you may be dead right, and I may be dead wrong with my opinion. And Diana's opinion only disagreed with yours. It wasn't mean-spirited; it was just different. To escalate that into an attack on everything she's written is uncalled for. (To do so in a response that states it's not worth a response.........well, that kind of irony is masterful. If you meant to be ironic........? ) ;):):)
-CG-
Pat,
I remember when you first started. LOL Nuff said. :)
And I remember when I first started. We all make mistakes, and we'll all make some more. Often I recognize newcomers' mistakes because I made the same ones. I hope I continue to learn from mine......and yours.:):):) And I do value your friendship. One of the reasons I value it is you did show yourself to be a quality person, day in, day out, whether we agree or not.
And JenKnee,
You are right. Other forums online are far more brutal. But I would hope that THIS one would be about support, in finding what we're all looking for (whatever that might be.)
And support sometimes means calling it like you see it. Sometimes we need to hear what WE don't see ourselves. Missng1 will look back a year from now and wonder why on earth he asked such a question, because, no matter which path he takes, he'll know THEN which was correct. ......But he doesn't know it now, so he asked. So, for now, for him, it's not a ridiculous question at all.
So, he is getting many varied answers, including your original advice. I didn't necessarily agree with it, but I acknowledge you may be dead right, and I may be dead wrong with my opinion. And Diana's opinion only disagreed with yours. It wasn't mean-spirited; it was just different. To escalate that into an attack on everything she's written is uncalled for. (To do so in a response that states it's not worth a response.........well, that kind of irony is masterful. If you meant to be ironic........? ) ;):):)
CG, you have done yourself proud. You don't say much seriously very often, but when you do--wow, I'm glad to call you a friend, my friend. I sincerely hope the feeling is mutual.
Great, smart post indeed.
CG, you have done yourself proud. You don't say much seriously very often, but when you do--wow, I'm glad to call you a friend, my friend. I sincerely hope the feeling is mutual.
Diana, I think you and I may disagree on quite a few issues, but I think, you've said some very smart things here, quite succinctly, and I agree with every thought your short paragraph contains.
Pat
Quoting Diana3316:
Jenkneee~ Why should he get off this site? Best I can tell, he has tried to be truthful and asked others for help. In today's world, sometimes it's hard to find quality people to hang out with for fun and communication. I have found the blogs to be a pretty decent place to meet, learn and laugh with some very good people. Some of the folks here are pretty wise and it can be quite helpful to hear their perspective when you're struggling to sort through personal difficulties.
Quoting Diana3316:
Jenkneee~ Why should he get off this site? Best I can tell, he has tried to be truthful and asked others for help. In today's world, sometimes it's hard to find quality people to hang out with for fun and communication. I have found the blogs to be a pretty decent place to meet, learn and laugh with some very good people. Some of the folks here are pretty wise and it can be quite helpful to hear their perspective when you're struggling to sort through personal difficulties.
Diana, I think you and I may disagree on quite a few issues, but I think, you've said some very smart things here, quite succinctly, and I agree with every thought your short paragraph contains.
QUICK HIJACK, MISSING1LOVE: The oldtimers on this blog [CG, Ray (NGL), me] have seen some pretty "bloody" cat fights erupt, seemingly out of nowhere, on the MM blogs over the years. Many bloggers' feelings were irreparably hurt during some of these fights simply because one or another blogger didn't stop to think clearly or reasonably before posting ugly words they found easy to write, but would probably never have spoken in real life. I know this as well as I do because early on I was one of those "reactive" bloggers. I had to learn the hard way.
I would hope, as I'm sure others would, that all kitty cats [and that includes tom cats] would neatly trim and retract their claws on this particular blog as some serious issues have been and are being discussed with a great deal of honesty, openness, and sincerity.
Which is why I think this blog deserves more respect, by all bloggers who choose to post on it, than to have bloggers using it to express personal grievances against other bloggers in a thoughtless, hurtful manner. If anyone has an issue with another blogger, please take it up elsewhere.
If you can't privately contact someone to tell them how little you think of them, how they are beneath your contempt, you could always start your own blog addressing that issue.
Then again, that would be self-defeating, wouldn't it?
Just a word to the wise: Enuf said.
QUICK HIJACK, MISSING1LOVE: The oldtimers on this blog [CG, Ray (NGL), me] have seen some pretty "bloody" cat fights erupt, seemingly out of nowhere, on the MM blogs over the years. Many bloggers' feelings were irreparably hurt during some of these fights simply because one or another blogger didn't stop to think clearly or reasonably before posting ugly words they found easy to write, but would probably never have spoken in real life. I know this as well as I do because early on I was one of those "reactive" bloggers. I had to learn the hard way.
I would hope, as I'm sure others would, that all kitty cats [and that includes tom cats] would neatly trim and retract their claws on this particular blog as some serious issues have been and are being discussed with a great deal of honesty, openness, and sincerity.
Which is why I think this blog deserves more respect, by all bloggers who choose to post on it, than to have bloggers using it to express personal grievances against other bloggers in a thoughtless, hurtful manner. If anyone has an issue with another blogger, please take it up elsewhere.
If you can't privately contact someone to tell them how little you think of them, how they are beneath your contempt, you could always start your own blog addressing that issue.
Then again, that would be self-defeating, wouldn't it?
Hoping, I disagree with your comment towards my response, or lack of response, to Diana. If you think what I typed was mean then you should get into some more typical forums and see what mean really is. You'd be crying for your mama after one session!!
Quoting Hoping4Love2000:
Well MISSING...
I see more great words from people with some wonderful wisdom behind their belt...
The real question is.. IS IT REALLY OVER? Only you know the answer.. and I'm with CG..
NO CRUISE... (unless it is to reconcile.. and if so.. SEEK MARITAL COUNSELING FIRST!!)
*****
@ JENKNEE and anyone else..
I didn't like seeing mean words on here.. :(
There is only a time for "meanness" when someone is totally out of line... I do not feel someone asking you to explain your response is out of line... I do however feel your response back was rude.... Obviously there have been some previous posts between you and DIANA where you have not "agreed"... No one could or SHOULD agree 100% of the time... WHAT A BORING WORLD IT WOULD BE!
HOWEVER.. when one keeps an "OPEN MIND".. (and open heart) ...they might learn a few things from others on here.. I know I have gathered sooooo much insight from SEVERAL individuals who relate their thoughts... men and women! Perhaps it is MISSING's plight to have written this post so he can gather some excellent insight so many have shared here... Here's some examples:
Wouldn't it be awesome if he gathers the self awareness to realize he is still in love with his wife and they reconcile and go on a beautiful cruise and live happily ever after due to NGL taking time to respond to him?
Or perhaps PAT or CG have assisted him in seeing... he needs to cut cords...
Or perhaps RMAC has made him realize his relationship is NOT really as platonic as he claims? (HI RMAC.. I missed your previous post! Makes me wonder...Perhaps platonic is not so platonic?? LOL!)
Or perhaps even a woman like me who lies in complete agreement with CG regarding MISSINGS future .. might have given him some words to show that a good woman will pass him by if he is still tied emotionally to his ex... He has a decision to make...
So I too disagree as I expressed before... I think this is exactly where he SHOULD be.. In a room filled with people who actually might care for others well being.. (humanity lies in this bed..) that can help him through a trialsome time.... Most of us have been divorced at least once.. and as CG stated.. even amicable ones aren't easy...I know when I divorced my "REAL" husband.. LOL.. It was torture and I HID in shame and disgust for YEARS.. I had one friend I remained close to and that was because I simply could not function without her... Her non judgmental ways are what led me to Jesus! :) She loved me regardless of all my bad things I did... And I gotta tell ya.. I was a wild and crazy one for a long time! HOW I WISH I had been surrounded by individuals during that time like many I have met on here!
He isn't trying to fool anyone.. Gotta love a straight up man!! :)
Just something to think about...
Quoting Hoping4Love2000:
Well MISSING...
I see more great words from people with some wonderful wisdom behind their belt...
The real question is.. IS IT REALLY OVER? Only you know the answer.. and I'm with CG..
NO CRUISE... (unless it is to reconcile.. and if so.. SEEK MARITAL COUNSELING FIRST!!)
*****
@ JENKNEE and anyone else..
I didn't like seeing mean words on here.. :(
There is only a time for "meanness" when someone is totally out of line... I do not feel someone asking you to explain your response is out of line... I do however feel your response back was rude.... Obviously there have been some previous posts between you and DIANA where you have not "agreed"... No one could or SHOULD agree 100% of the time... WHAT A BORING WORLD IT WOULD BE!
HOWEVER.. when one keeps an "OPEN MIND".. (and open heart) ...they might learn a few things from others on here.. I know I have gathered sooooo much insight from SEVERAL individuals who relate their thoughts... men and women! Perhaps it is MISSING's plight to have written this post so he can gather some excellent insight so many have shared here... Here's some examples:
Wouldn't it be awesome if he gathers the self awareness to realize he is still in love with his wife and they reconcile and go on a beautiful cruise and live happily ever after due to NGL taking time to respond to him?
Or perhaps PAT or CG have assisted him in seeing... he needs to cut cords...
Or perhaps RMAC has made him realize his relationship is NOT really as platonic as he claims? (HI RMAC.. I missed your previous post! Makes me wonder...Perhaps platonic is not so platonic?? LOL!)
Or perhaps even a woman like me who lies in complete agreement with CG regarding MISSINGS future .. might have given him some words to show that a good woman will pass him by if he is still tied emotionally to his ex... He has a decision to make...
So I too disagree as I expressed before... I think this is exactly where he SHOULD be.. In a room filled with people who actually might care for others well being.. (humanity lies in this bed..) that can help him through a trialsome time.... Most of us have been divorced at least once.. and as CG stated.. even amicable ones aren't easy...I know when I divorced my "REAL" husband.. LOL.. It was torture and I HID in shame and disgust for YEARS.. I had one friend I remained close to and that was because I simply could not function without her... Her non judgmental ways are what led me to Jesus! :) She loved me regardless of all my bad things I did... And I gotta tell ya.. I was a wild and crazy one for a long time! HOW I WISH I had been surrounded by individuals during that time like many I have met on here!
He isn't trying to fool anyone.. Gotta love a straight up man!! :)
Just something to think about...
Hoping, I disagree with your comment towards my response, or lack of response, to Diana. If you think what I typed was mean then you should get into some more typical forums and see what mean really is. You'd be crying for your mama after one session!!
I see more great words from people with some wonderful wisdom behind their belt...
The real question is.. IS IT REALLY OVER? Only you know the answer.. and I'm with CG..
NO CRUISE... (unless it is to reconcile.. and if so.. SEEK MARITAL COUNSELING FIRST!!)
*****
@ JENKNEE and anyone else..
I didn't like seeing mean words on here.. :(
There is only a time for "meanness" when someone is totally out of line... I do not feel someone asking you to explain your response is out of line... I do however feel your response back was rude.... Obviously there have been some previous posts between you and DIANA where you have not "agreed"... No one could or SHOULD agree 100% of the time... WHAT A BORING WORLD IT WOULD BE!
HOWEVER.. when one keeps an "OPEN MIND".. (and open heart) ...they might learn a few things from others on here.. I know I have gathered sooooo much insight from SEVERAL individuals who relate their thoughts... men and women! Perhaps it is MISSING's plight to have written this post so he can gather some excellent insight so many have shared here... Here's some examples:
Wouldn't it be awesome if he gathers the self awareness to realize he is still in love with his wife and they reconcile and go on a beautiful cruise and live happily ever after due to NGL taking time to respond to him?
Or perhaps PAT or CG have assisted him in seeing... he needs to cut cords...
Or perhaps RMAC has made him realize his relationship is NOT really as platonic as he claims? (HI RMAC.. I missed your previous post! Makes me wonder...Perhaps platonic is not so platonic?? LOL!)
Or perhaps even a woman like me who lies in complete agreement with CG regarding MISSINGS future .. might have given him some words to show that a good woman will pass him by if he is still tied emotionally to his ex... He has a decision to make...
So I too disagree as I expressed before... I think this is exactly where he SHOULD be.. In a room filled with people who actually might care for others well being.. (humanity lies in this bed..) that can help him through a trialsome time.... Most of us have been divorced at least once.. and as CG stated.. even amicable ones aren't easy...I know when I divorced my "REAL" husband.. LOL.. It was torture and I HID in shame and disgust for YEARS.. I had one friend I remained close to and that was because I simply could not function without her... Her non judgmental ways are what led me to Jesus! :) She loved me regardless of all my bad things I did... And I gotta tell ya.. I was a wild and crazy one for a long time! HOW I WISH I had been surrounded by individuals during that time like many I have met on here!
He isn't trying to fool anyone.. Gotta love a straight up man!! :)
Just something to think about...
Well MISSING...
I see more great words from people with some wonderful wisdom behind their belt...
The real question is.. IS IT REALLY OVER? Only you know the answer.. and I'm with CG..
NO CRUISE... (unless it is to reconcile.. and if so.. SEEK MARITAL COUNSELING FIRST!!)
*****
@ JENKNEE and anyone else..
I didn't like seeing mean words on here.. :(
There is only a time for "meanness" when someone is totally out of line... I do not feel someone asking you to explain your response is out of line... I do however feel your response back was rude.... Obviously there have been some previous posts between you and DIANA where you have not "agreed"... No one could or SHOULD agree 100% of the time... WHAT A BORING WORLD IT WOULD BE!
HOWEVER.. when one keeps an "OPEN MIND".. (and open heart) ...they might learn a few things from others on here.. I know I have gathered sooooo much insight from SEVERAL individuals who relate their thoughts... men and women! Perhaps it is MISSING's plight to have written this post so he can gather some excellent insight so many have shared here... Here's some examples:
Wouldn't it be awesome if he gathers the self awareness to realize he is still in love with his wife and they reconcile and go on a beautiful cruise and live happily ever after due to NGL taking time to respond to him?
Or perhaps PAT or CG have assisted him in seeing... he needs to cut cords...
Or perhaps RMAC has made him realize his relationship is NOT really as platonic as he claims? (HI RMAC.. I missed your previous post! Makes me wonder...Perhaps platonic is not so platonic?? LOL!)
Or perhaps even a woman like me who lies in complete agreement with CG regarding MISSINGS future .. might have given him some words to show that a good woman will pass him by if he is still tied emotionally to his ex... He has a decision to make...
So I too disagree as I expressed before... I think this is exactly where he SHOULD be.. In a room filled with people who actually might care for others well being.. (humanity lies in this bed..) that can help him through a trialsome time.... Most of us have been divorced at least once.. and as CG stated.. even amicable ones aren't easy...I know when I divorced my "REAL" husband.. LOL.. It was torture and I HID in shame and disgust for YEARS.. I had one friend I remained close to and that was because I simply could not function without her... Her non judgmental ways are what led me to Jesus! :) She loved me regardless of all my bad things I did... And I gotta tell ya.. I was a wild and crazy one for a long time! HOW I WISH I had been surrounded by individuals during that time like many I have met on here!
He isn't trying to fool anyone.. Gotta love a straight up man!! :)
I was stating my opinion Diana, clearly you have a problem with my opinions (on more than this post) while as far as I'm concerned what you type is not worth my time to respond to, other than to simply say what I just did.
Dang girl!!! I don't remember ever engaging you on any topic, except complimenting you on the post you put up back in November on the Giving Tree. Unfortunately you have purged most all of your posts, so I was not able to determine if what you say is true.
On November 24 I wrote: Jenknee~ Thanks so much for writing that. We should all be reminded of how blessed we are compared to so many in the world. I always do the 'Toys for Tots' donation. But seems like this year the need is even greater, with all the economic strife so many have suffered. I will likely try to do more. (It's good for my soul as well) ~smile~
I would be happy to acknowledge any untoward comments I have made regarding your opinions, IF you can provide an example.
I recognize you were stating your opinion...and I was merely trying to state my opinion and put forth a sentiment of welcome to 1love, who seems to be struggling with a difficult personal situation and seeking friends to communicate with.
I am truly baffled by your response to me.
Quoting Jenkneee:
I was stating my opinion Diana, clearly you have a problem with my opinions (on more than this post) while as far as I'm concerned what you type is not worth my time to respond to, other than to simply say what I just did.
Dang girl!!! I don't remember ever engaging you on any topic, except complimenting you on the post you put up back in November on the Giving Tree. Unfortunately you have purged most all of your posts, so I was not able to determine if what you say is true.
On November 24 I wrote: Jenknee~ Thanks so much for writing that. We should all be reminded of how blessed we are compared to so many in the world. I always do the 'Toys for Tots' donation. But seems like this year the need is even greater, with all the economic strife so many have suffered. I will likely try to do more. (It's good for my soul as well) ~smile~
I would be happy to acknowledge any untoward comments I have made regarding your opinions, IF you can provide an example.
I recognize you were stating your opinion...and I was merely trying to state my opinion and put forth a sentiment of welcome to 1love, who seems to be struggling with a difficult personal situation and seeking friends to communicate with.
I was stating my opinion Diana, clearly you have a problem with my opinions (on more than this post) while as far as I'm concerned what you type is not worth my time to respond to, other than to simply say what I just did.
Quoting Diana3316:
Jenkneee~ Why should he get off this site? Best I can tell, he has tried to be truthful and asked others for help. In today's world, sometimes it's hard to find quality people to hang out with for fun and communication. I have found the blogs to be a pretty decent place to meet, learn and laugh with some very good people. Some of the folks here are pretty wise and it can be quite helpful to hear their perspective when you're struggling to sort through personal difficulties.
Quoting Diana3316:
Jenkneee~ Why should he get off this site? Best I can tell, he has tried to be truthful and asked others for help. In today's world, sometimes it's hard to find quality people to hang out with for fun and communication. I have found the blogs to be a pretty decent place to meet, learn and laugh with some very good people. Some of the folks here are pretty wise and it can be quite helpful to hear their perspective when you're struggling to sort through personal difficulties.
I was stating my opinion Diana, clearly you have a problem with my opinions (on more than this post) while as far as I'm concerned what you type is not worth my time to respond to, other than to simply say what I just did.
Missing isn't trying to hide anything from anyone here; he's not lying about his status, so I see no reason why he should leave MM as long as he's enjoying his time here.
JMO
Quoting bepositive:
I think she is looking for a free ride. I agree with Jenknee, get off the site, get your divorce, take some time off to get over her and then get back on the site. She is not allowing you time to heal. Unless she would like to work on your relationship....100%.....then I say don't take her. Sounds like you are not sure of what you want either. Take some time to work things out in your head and in your heart. Good luck.
Quoting bepositive:
I think she is looking for a free ride. I agree with Jenknee, get off the site, get your divorce, take some time off to get over her and then get back on the site. She is not allowing you time to heal. Unless she would like to work on your relationship....100%.....then I say don't take her. Sounds like you are not sure of what you want either. Take some time to work things out in your head and in your heart. Good luck.
Missing isn't trying to hide anything from anyone here; he's not lying about his status, so I see no reason why he should leave MM as long as he's enjoying his time here.
I have to tell you I'm glad to see you arrive. I'm glad to see someone take my crown for bad wardrobe. Tink and Shaz will attest I had Hawaiian shirts nearly blacklisted by TSA as unfit for travel.
But I have to admit, I have that same outfit. Cap, dog and all. :) I'm just not brave enough to wear it on here.
And now that I have done my 'guy' duty to abuse you, let me say I have been pleased to find a bright, well spoken guy with a heart behind that cap. I've been there, in the middle of an "amicable" divorce. It still sucks, even without the broken dishes and screaming cursing matches.
Your question begs another question. ....Are you sure you two are done? But that's not what you asked, so I'll move along to YOUR question.
Nothing wrong with being a nice guy. I doubt anyone has to tell you that. But you also have to try and look down the road. You have to try and look where both of you will be in a couple years.....and then try to pick the least painful way to get there....for you and her. Sure, you should be selfish and look after YOU. But I can tell, if you unnecessarily injure HER in the process, it will cause you remorse, too. But sometimes, it's necessary to be an a**hole now, so you'll both be better off later. And WOW, is that a difficult thing to judge !! And then make yourself implement.
So, since you're saying YOU are strong enough, look at two things. 1) Are you lying to yourself? I know we men think we can take anything, but is it really smart to throw yourself UNDER the oncoming bus, just because you feel you can survive it? and 2) Is it really better for HER, to keep using you as a crutch? Sure, you don't want to be heartless, but are you doing her a favor when you keep propping her up? (Akin to those who enable people with other problems) Would you really be a better friend if you made her stand on her own, more, and sooner? Wouldn't it be better if there were already some distance if some hot young thing decides to throw herself on you? Or for when she sees you at dinner with the local bank loan officer.
Last, while YOU may know there is not involvement by your heart anymore, you certainly don't want to run off the next great woman, who incorrectly thinks there IS still something there. The truly great women (and men) are damn rare enough. Don't run one off with an incorrect impression. (The corollary to this there may be an ALMOST perfect woman for you, who just happens to be sensitive to 'ex-proximity.' It would be a shame to lose her, over an ex that will be in the distance very soon. A tough choice may have to be made.)
All this is a result of the fact you want to do what is best for another human being. That's never a bad thing, and speaks well of you. But you also have to look at what's best for you.
From a distance, my opinion is..... no cruise.
Missing 1,
I have to tell you I'm glad to see you arrive. I'm glad to see someone take my crown for bad wardrobe. Tink and Shaz will attest I had Hawaiian shirts nearly blacklisted by TSA as unfit for travel.
But I have to admit, I have that same outfit. Cap, dog and all. :) I'm just not brave enough to wear it on here.
And now that I have done my 'guy' duty to abuse you, let me say I have been pleased to find a bright, well spoken guy with a heart behind that cap. I've been there, in the middle of an "amicable" divorce. It still sucks, even without the broken dishes and screaming cursing matches.
Your question begs another question. ....Are you sure you two are done? But that's not what you asked, so I'll move along to YOUR question.
Nothing wrong with being a nice guy. I doubt anyone has to tell you that. But you also have to try and look down the road. You have to try and look where both of you will be in a couple years.....and then try to pick the least painful way to get there....for you and her. Sure, you should be selfish and look after YOU. But I can tell, if you unnecessarily injure HER in the process, it will cause you remorse, too. But sometimes, it's necessary to be an a**hole now, so you'll both be better off later. And WOW, is that a difficult thing to judge !! And then make yourself implement.
So, since you're saying YOU are strong enough, look at two things. 1) Are you lying to yourself? I know we men think we can take anything, but is it really smart to throw yourself UNDER the oncoming bus, just because you feel you can survive it? and 2) Is it really better for HER, to keep using you as a crutch? Sure, you don't want to be heartless, but are you doing her a favor when you keep propping her up? (Akin to those who enable people with other problems) Would you really be a better friend if you made her stand on her own, more, and sooner? Wouldn't it be better if there were already some distance if some hot young thing decides to throw herself on you? Or for when she sees you at dinner with the local bank loan officer.
Last, while YOU may know there is not involvement by your heart anymore, you certainly don't want to run off the next great woman, who incorrectly thinks there IS still something there. The truly great women (and men) are damn rare enough. Don't run one off with an incorrect impression. (The corollary to this there may be an ALMOST perfect woman for you, who just happens to be sensitive to 'ex-proximity.' It would be a shame to lose her, over an ex that will be in the distance very soon. A tough choice may have to be made.)
All this is a result of the fact you want to do what is best for another human being. That's never a bad thing, and speaks well of you. But you also have to look at what's best for you.
I think you make some very direct and clear points here dear!!
It may very well be they have lost communication... This is unclear.. as we don't know enough of the history...
But YES.. An emotional connection for a woman is usually paramount for "true intimacy" to happen.. Perhaps SHE is even unaware of WHY they have a plutonic relationship.. (He said it.. not you..) I do however know of women who just don't have that desire anymore.. Sad if you ask me!! I think the EGO word was what threw me off!
MISSING.. are you listening here? LOL
I hold no doubt for wealthy men.. gifts and trips are far easier than your TIME...
but sometimes all a woman wishes for is more TIME with you!! ;)
Our thread jacker NGL makes very valid statements!
HAVE A GREAT DAY NGL AND REST!
Packin for Atlanta!!
LOL @ NGL! So good to see you!! :)
I think you make some very direct and clear points here dear!!
It may very well be they have lost communication... This is unclear.. as we don't know enough of the history...
But YES.. An emotional connection for a woman is usually paramount for "true intimacy" to happen.. Perhaps SHE is even unaware of WHY they have a plutonic relationship.. (He said it.. not you..) I do however know of women who just don't have that desire anymore.. Sad if you ask me!! I think the EGO word was what threw me off!
MISSING.. are you listening here? LOL
I hold no doubt for wealthy men.. gifts and trips are far easier than your TIME...
but sometimes all a woman wishes for is more TIME with you!! ;)
Our thread jacker NGL makes very valid statements!
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