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LuckyStiff2001
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Posted on Mon, Mar 31, 2014 18:56

Having read many profiles on different dating sites, it is easy to get the impression that most woman are looking for “Mr Nice Guy”. Sample keywords: integrity, loyal, kindhearted, faithful, intelligent, sense of honest, trustworthy, and, of course, “looking for my best friend”. Another common request is for someone “who makes me laugh”. If that is true, then how come Jay Leno is not a sex symbol?

 

Nevertheless, I am hardly impressed that woman really want Mr Nice Guy. Or, more likely, the women who do indeed like nice guys are probably still married, and I am just encountering those on the rebound for the second (or more?) time. In many cases, such women have been betrayed by their own hormonal urges in the past, and are still trying to figure out what went wrong.

 

That seems to be the case with Ron, who came to me several months ago with a story. He is truly a nice guy. He never cheated on his wife, even when she would disappear for a weekend, or stay out all night drinking. No, he always made sure his children were protected and provided for. He is as reliable as a Swiss watch: if he promises he will do something next Saturday at 2 PM, you can sleep soundly at night, certain it will get done.

 

That doesn’t mean he is a pushover. Not at all. He used to run a business, so he knows how to command and to be assertive as the situation demands. Moreover, he is reasonably good looking and makes sure he stays in top physical shape. You could call him a “good catch”, if you like that kind of guy. A mutual friend of ours, Annie, who had a crush on him, would often ask him for help around the house or with her computer, although he never took the bait. I asked Annie what she saw in him. Her answer was simple and stark: “What woman wouldn’t want to be with him?”

 

Unfortunately, despite his intelligence, that doesn’t mean that Ron always made good choices. I saw him go from one disaster to another. I told him that he was too passive and was not making the effort to find the kind of woman that would be good for him. Because there were always women like Annie around, he would date them just out of convenience, and not necessarily for their qualities.

 

So he joined a dating site, I think it was eharmony. There he met Ingrid from Miami Beach. Ingrid was strikingly beautiful and a head-turner, even at her age. She had a personal trainer and went kayaking daily on the intracoastal waterway, so her body was firm and shapely. They exchanged notes, but Ron, again the victim of his laziness, decided she was “geographically undesirable”, since she was a 45 minute ride away.

 

Nevertheless, Ingrid persisted in contacting Ron. This confused Ron, since he could not understand why such an attractive woman was being so aggressive. She lived in a multimillion dollar house; now Ron is doing more than OK, but he is not in the 1%. Finally, he gave her a call. They chatted for a while, and then Ingrid invited Ron to her house for a steak dinner for the coming weekend. Now that is one heck of a “first date” idea that I have come across.

 

He brought flowers and chocolates and headed down to Miami Beach that Saturday. He did ask her why she was so unconcerned about inviting a stranger into her home. She replied simply. When they spoke, Ron’s son was visiting. Ingrid overheard Ron speaking to his son about making dinner. Ingrid rightly concluded that Ron was a “nice guy” and perfectly safe in her home.

 

What Ron then told me was rather shocking. Ingrid had been married to a man in New York, who had recently been released from Federal prison. He was running a boiler room, tricking people out of their retirement accounts or college savings plans. If any of you have seen the Wolf of Wall Street, he was of that ilk. Oddly enough, Ingrid still felt a sense of admiration for the wolf. She said, “He could sell ice to Eskimos.” Ron tried to explain to her that he was only effective with certain people, as intelligent people would hang up on him.

 

Ron said the ex was old, fat, and ugly. Ingrid said that he pursued her for months until she finally gave in. She described how the SWAT team raided their house in Westchester. She waited patiently for him to be released. Now for the shocking part. The ex convinced Ingrid to move to Florida for tax reasons. Then, they would get divorced, a “sham” divorce, in his words, just to protect her assets from the Feds who were still trying to find where he hid all his money.

 

Actually, it was real divorce, since shortly thereafter he moved in with another woman, with whom they had a child. Shocked and alone, Ingrid went to therapy and even became a Bahai on the advice of some friends. I guess her friends convinced her that she needed to meet a “nice guy”, since the exciting guy she married brought her nothing but heartache and pain. That would explain why she pursued Ron so aggressively.

 

So they dated for several weeks, until one night Ron sensed that Ingrid was being very cool. In the driveway as he was leaving her home, Ron asked her bluntly, “Do you want me to call you anymore?” After that question, Ron told me that she went into an incoherent rant.

 

She blurted out, “I thought I wanted to meet a nice guy, just like you. But I’ve found out that I just can’t handle it. I have to go back to therapy this week, I’m not ready.” And on and on in a similar vein.

 

 

Ron took it all in and finally replied, “I just asked for a yes or no answer, not a true confession.” With that, he got in his car and abruptly left. I don’t know what he is doing now, but I hope he met a woman who can deal with a nice guy.

 



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paulafrazier1969
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Posted on Mon, May 19, 2014 17:58

after being in abuses relationships. i would love to meet someone like ron. i really want a good man like ron in my life. because i am sick of being used and hurt and i am not getting any younger. i want someone to share my life with. even through the bad times i think you should always work your problems out and not let it mess up your relationship.


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Posted on Sat, May 03, 2014 23:19

Attractiveness is subjective. You never know how a person's background affects their behavior.  Just because I look like a supermodel doesn't mean I haven't been dumped by nerds or losers, and therefore left with low self esteem.  The woman in Ron's story is obviously traumatized by her last relationship inspite of her present beauty or attractiveness.  



Jana

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Dakota35
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Posted on Thu, Apr 17, 2014 22:02

Most women are not really looking for a nice guy, that's just BS they want people to believe.  Proof is in how many nice guys are single.  Alpha males are usually b*stards and that's what women like...the perceived hunter.


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Spiritualguidenc
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Posted on Fri, Apr 11, 2014 21:29

 

Pathana Pathway fbook

 

Personality is _



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Spiritualguidenc
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Posted on Fri, Apr 11, 2014 21:27

 

pathana pathway

 

fbook



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Neisha2001
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Posted on Thu, Apr 10, 2014 08:38

This is truth. This was a powerful view. Made my eyes widen up.



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Maryclaire2000
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Posted on Tue, Apr 08, 2014 03:37

Mr. Nice guy could also be boring .. I prefer to take a Guy who got his flaws and good sides because that is more human and its a challenge for me .. i got also my flaws so why will i look for Mr. almost Perfect ..



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3345roc
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Posted on Mon, Apr 07, 2014 14:15

Quoting precious2102:

can introduce Ron to me?  just kidding. But I wish to find someone like Ron.



Say hi to Joey.  I think he was referring to you and not LStiff.



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LuckyStiff2001
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Posted on Tue, Apr 01, 2014 18:18

Certainly, Precious, I can introduce Ron to you ... or even someone like him!



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joey2k
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Posted on Tue, Apr 01, 2014 03:36

u seem pretty



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precious2102
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Posted on Tue, Apr 01, 2014 02:01

can introduce Ron to me?  just kidding. But I wish to find someone like Ron.



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