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lovelylotus
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Posted on Tue, Jun 27, 2006 00:37

I have a few question regarding the etiquette of online dating. Consider this: If you're at a bar, most men won't approach you if you're with someone, or engaged in open flirting with a member of the opposite sex (it happens, but usually when the aggressor is drunk, or just incredibly determined and open to the idea of a beating.) The lines are clearly drawn. In cyberspace, things get a little more blurry... I have been surfing this site for several weeks and have corresponded with several very interesting, witty and attractive men. So, this leads me to my first question: how many is too much? At what point are you communicating with too many people? At times, I have felt guilty talking to more than one person, despite the fact that we are doing just that: simply talking and getting to know one another. Is this common? And how does one deal with it? Next question: I have been lucky enough to find someone I am really interested in (strangely enough, not from this site) and I would like to know how to politely tell the people I've been talking to. I have enjoyed getting to know them tremendously, and don't want to hurt feelings or lead anyone on. Should I just come right out and say it? Maybe I am overthinking this, I don't pretend to be a great heartbreaker, but my one experience with this didn't go very well. Is there any graceful way to bow out, without completely alienating the people I have come to know through MM? I just want some others' thoughts on this. I was only in the internet dating pool for a brief time, but my experiences have raised some interesting questions. Tell me what you think, I'll be popping in and out from time to time to catch up on the blogging action...

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lovelylotus
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Posted on Tue, Jun 27, 2006 12:27

Didn't mean to come off as self-important, I am well aware that I'm not destroying anyones heart. I just wanted some ideas about diplomacy and tact- and to hear other experiences...


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liveonthedge
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Posted on Tue, Jun 27, 2006 12:06

Straightforward and honest is my preference. Everyone on here is an adult and should be able to handle the truth straight out.


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robtest
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Posted on Tue, Jun 27, 2006 08:45

You can either leave it at nothing, as most people with experience accept no response as a response in itself, or you could drop them a quick note thanking them for the interaction but telling them that you will be pursuing something deeper with someone else... ROFL, I had one woman write me after an intriguing Friday night second date. She thanked me for the chocolate martinis and the kisses and then said that she was going to pursue things with a guy she had been going out with for about a month. I wrote her back and wished her well on her journey... C'est la Vie in the world of internet dating!


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lovelylotus
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Posted on Tue, Jun 27, 2006 07:13

Thanks so much for the feedback and good thoughts. I wish everyone here luck and love in their search!


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