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lonelybeachgirl
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total posts: 50
Blog title: Banister of Life
Blog description:As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life, Remember......... 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. 4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in ...
My blog address: http://MillionaireMatch.com/blog/lonelybeachgirl
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Holiday Humor! 195 Views 12/12/10

 

 

 

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED

 








1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and…..

6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — - Jingle Bells,! Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells


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Speed Dating Anyone? 370 Views 02/07/10

I just got an email from a g/f informing me that she has signed us up for a SPEED DATING event on Valentines Day.  I figure it can't get any better than this....20, 8 minute dates all in one night..LOL!  She claims there will only be professional people attending this event and guarantees we will have a great night.

The 20 men and 8 minute time interval to get to know someone is rather appealing....sure eliminates the possibility of spending an evening with a NOT SO MR. PROFESSIONAL man, but is 8 minutes long enough to get to know if you want to exchange phone#s with a person? What are the chances that all 20 PROFESSIONAL men will turn out to be NOT what I am looking for, or that all 20 PROFESSIONAL men turn out to be EXACTLY what I am looking for? Oh well, it is a charity event for Habitat for Humanity, so at least I can console myself to the fact that my monetary contribution is going to a good cause, regardless of the end results.

Since I have never attended a SPEED DATING event before, I was wondering if anyone here has ventured into this world and I would like to know what experience you had.

To say the least, this will be an INTERESTING Valentines Day and probably one I will not forget--LOL!

 

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Sarah Palin's 'rogue' Christianity 213 Views 11/18/09

This article was written by Sally Quinn, Reporter, Journalist and Author for the Washington Post.







Sarah Palin's 'rogue' Christianity

In her new book Sarah Palin writes that one summer at Bible Camp she "put my life in my creator's hands and trust Him as I sought my life's path." For Palin, this grand divine plan was "a natural progression." She writes. And later, "I don't believe in coincidences."

Which leads me to ask:


What does she believe is God's plan for her? Does she have any free will or is everything preordained. Can she see something coming and change her mind despite God's plans for her?


Did God plan for her to become Governor of Alaska. If so, did God plan for her to step down. Did God plan for her to run for Vice President? If so why did she and McCain lose?


Did God plan for her to have a child with Down's Syndrome? If so why did she consider an abortion? Did God plan for her to have a huge wardrobe? Then why did she apologize for it?


Did God plan for her to do the Katie Couric and Charlie Gibson interviews and be humiliated by them. Did God plan for her to allow herself to be forced, against her will to do those interviews? If so then why complain?


Did God plan for her daughter Bristol to get pregnant while she was a teenager? Why was she then not thrilled. Did God plan for Bristol to get engaged and then break up, only to be left a single mother, dropping out of school?


Did God plan for Levi Johnson to be the father of her grandchild? Did God plan for Levi Johnson, who she now calls Ricky Hollywood, to pose nude for Playgirl and go into "porn" as she told Oprah. If so, why does she find it heartbreaking?

I find it all very confusing.

Certainly Palin could say that God planned for her to publish a book that would be a huge, bestseller, go on Oprah, and make an enormous amount of money. Why would God choose her? Why would God look at the suffering around the world of so many millions and say, Sarah, I'm going to give you all of this.

Perhaps God wants more out of Sarah Palin.


You would think that God would ask of her to live her life as an example to others of a compassionate loving, caring person. One of the most powerful examples of God's love in the Bible is that of forgiveness. Turning the other cheek. But Palin's book is a screed against everyone who ever done her wrong.


She is angry at the campaign staffer for "forcing her to do things she didn't want to do", she is angry at the media for asking her questions she couldn't answer. She is angry at the father of her grandson for being a foolish teenager. She has used this book and all of her Christian charity to do nothing but settle scores. She names names and calls 'em like she see 'em. And she doesn't see 'em the way God might. They are all of his children.


Why would she not simply write a book describing her life as full of blessings as they are, forgiving those who caused her pain or discomfort and show God the gratitude she owes him for everything he has bestowed upon her.


But maybe that wasn't God's plan for her. Maybe he decided that he would have her stray from the basic tenets of her religions beliefs. The dictionary defines "rogue' as "an individual varying markedly from the standard."


The standard for Palin's God and faith is love, generosity, mercy and forgiveness. Perhaps that's what she means when she says she is "Going Rogue."




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Santa is a Woman 176 Views 12/24/08
Santa Is A Woman


I think Santa Claus is a woman....

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing
social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull
it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting
gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind
of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with
amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping
spree.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco
products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You
might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my
husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th
hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa
is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would
wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the
tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all,
there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and
strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate
claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already
be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation
problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and
clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the
fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the
Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the
flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas
fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to
straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
- Men can't pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen
with all those elves.
- Men don't answer their mail.
- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest
as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
- Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability
to pick up women.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men.........
- Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous.
Definite guy.
- Cupid flies around carrying weapons.
- Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.

Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test.
But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other, good
will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas
Song," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is.

I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!!
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T'was The Night Before Christmas 44 Views 12/24/08

'Twas The (Politically Correct) Night Before Christmas

¿
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.

So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.

¿

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
¿you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;

Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."

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Quotes by GW Bush 57 Views 12/22/08
Quotes by George W. Bush: 1. 'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.' 2. 'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.' 3. 'Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.' 4. 'No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.' 5. 'I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.' 6. 'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.' 7. 'Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.' 8. 'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.' 9. 'The future will be better tomorrow.' 10. 'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world..' 11. 'One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.' (during an education photo-op) 12. 'Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.' 13. 'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.' 14. 'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.' 15. 'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'...George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? 78 Views 11/08/08
Why did the chicken cross the road? BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me....... DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or no t. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone. JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did no t cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE: I invented the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens!
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Actual "Call Center" Calls 139 Views 09/16/08
ACTUAL " CALL CENTER " CALLS Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?" Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?" Customer: "It's on the door of your business." Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open." Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about." Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall." Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?" Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?" Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe ) "If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?" Directory Enquiries Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please" Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?" Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off." Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?" Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland " On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box Told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on." Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "OK." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'." Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?" Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?" Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." Operator: "What sort of trouble??" Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." Operator: "Went away?" Caller: "They disappeared." Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" Caller: "Nothing." Operator: "Nothing??" Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??" Caller: "How do I tell?" Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??" Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?" Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type." Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??" Caller: "What's a monitor?" Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??" Caller: "I don't know." Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??" Caller: "Yes, I think so." Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: "Yes, it is." Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??" Caller: "No." Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." Caller: "Okay, here it is." Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." Caller: "I can't reach." Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??" Caller: "No." Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??" Calle "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark." Operator: "Dark??" Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then." Caller: "I can't." Operator: "No? Why not??" Caller: "Because there's a power failure." Operator: "A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??" Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??" Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
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George W Bush Presidential Library 131 Views 09/07/08
The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages. The Library will include the following: The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction. The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything. The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up. The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in. The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out. The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find. The National Debt room which is huge and has no ceiling. The 'Tax Cut' Room with entry only to the wealthy. The Economy Room which is in the toilet. The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes a fifth time. The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery. The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty. The Supreme Court's Gift Shop, where you can buy an election. The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators. The 'Decider Room' complete with dart board, Magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws. The museum will also have an electron microscope to help you locate the President's accomplishments. Offended? Policital Disclaimer September 07, 2008
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The Silent Treatment 188 Views 09/03/08
Silent Treatment... It was a Saturday evening and Joseph and his wife, Ann, had just gotten into their third argument of the day and both were now giving each other the "silent treatment," vowing not to be the first one to speak. However, at bedtime, Joseph realized that he would need his wife, who always awoke at 4:30am to wake him at 5:00am to get ready for an early morning golf session with his buddies. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and thus lose the "battle"), Joseph wrote on a piece of paper, "Ann, please wake me at 5:00am." The next morning, Joseph woke up at 9am, having missed his tee time with his friends. Furious, Joseph was about to go and see why his wife hadn't awakened him when he noticed a piece of paperon his nightstand. The note read, "Joseph, it's 5:00am. Wake up."
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Female Impostors/lenzdude 220 Views 09/02/08
Glad to see you decided to hang around, but what is with this advice you are giving out about not giving your personal information to anyone you have never met?? I don't recall ever meeting you in person and yet you gave me all your personal info--hmmmm!!!! Female Impostors - Beware: How to Spot a Fake Author lenzdude Preferred member Total posts: 3 Posted on 01-SEP-08 Subscribe to this blog Forward to friends I have no idea what things look like for women looking at men, but on the women's side there have been - and are - a plethora of fake profiles. How do I know they're fake and how can you? In my industry I'm often around or work with those who are high-profile people, some celebrities, some just have greater-than-average public exposure. Many of these fake profiles were easily identified because I either knew the "real" person whose photos were being used or, knew the modeling agen more... I have no idea what things look like for women looking at men, but on the women's side there have been - and are - a plethora of fake profiles. How do I know they're fake and how can you? In my industry I'm often around or work with those who are high-profile people, some celebrities, some just have greater-than-average public exposure. Many of these fake profiles were easily identified because I either knew the "real" person whose photos were being used or, knew the modeling agent who represented the model whose photos had been copied. Armed with this information I decided to take action against those who would otherwise be pulling the collective wool over unsuspecting - and un-realistically hopeful - men. Men, being the visual creatures we are, are easily swayed by visual appeal and we're genetically built to be that way. Which is why women were designed to make us look at them - "eye candy" is the common term, and it fits perfectly. Let's face it here's the nutshell of how couples (hetero) get together: A man sees something he likes, that gets his mouth motoring. A woman - being the aural creature she is - hears the things she wants to hear and bad-a-bing... they get together. Simple, right? If only it was really that easy... but I digress... Knowing this purely visual attraction there are those who have decided to take advantage of this common male weakness and prey on that characteristic by posting profiles that contain photos and information that aren't their own. Sometimes it's for no other reason than to get attention they couldn't possibly get any other way, sometimes it's a total prank created by a very bored individual and more often it's created by someone with fare more sinister intent, to get personal data for spamming purposes - or worse. So how do you spot them? First, pay attention to the profile. If you see photos of an obviously young woman (less than 30 years old) but the listed age is more than 35-40 that should be your first clue. Second, if all the photos are professionally taken and all in completely skimpy attire such as a shoot done for a Playboy-type publication or pin-up rag such as FHM, Maxxim etc.... do you really think a hottie like that would post herself on a dating site when she's already been splashed across the world on the cover of a magazine? You don't think she already has her hands full of suitors coming at her from all angles (no pun intended) ? Common sense applies here guys. Third, if the profile content is all about super-charged sex-talk and no substance - regardless what the photos may look like - that too could be a sign of something less than honest. Last, be wary of the "wanna-be" girls. Yes, there are actually men who have either had sex-change operations (and they list themselves that way even in the user-name) or are simply cross-dressers - I have to laugh because you'd think this one would be obvious, but I've spoken with at least 2 men that got spoofed by this. Follow your instincts, is all I can say and question anything that just doesn't add up. To date, I've personally found and reported over 32 fake profiles. All but one have been removed by Customer Service because their investigation proved out my suspicions (the one remaining was unverifiable because the user never responded). And by all means man, don't give out any personal information to anyone you've never met. C'mon - common sense rules! (Before posting commentary here please see my post about "Blogs vs Forums" and email me directly your commentary. Direct posts here will not be saved.) less...
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Is There A Subject? 376 Views 08/25/08
I have posted a couple of blogs and read many more, and I am wondering if there is any subject one might blog about that would not cause members to attack the author? I have read many good blogs from members and eventually, if not immediately, someone is attacking them---I have to ask, "What is to be gained by this nonsense"? I like to joke and share experiences by blogging---I am not a judgmental type person and certainly not a prude, but so many of the comments I read seem so childish and inappropriate---am I the only one that has a problem with this? No attack replies please, or I will delete them.
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Banister of Life 118 Views 08/17/08
As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life, Remember......... 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. 4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood. 7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. 8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. 9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can. 10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid." 11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building. 12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite." 13 Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex. 14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way. REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
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