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Posted on Mon, May 08, 2006 19:32

A woman who has children makes sure that the man interested loves kids, and understandably so because she loves her children. However, what if a man has shared custody or full custody? For instance most women my age either have teenage children or 20 somethings. They have already raised their kids and I would think look forward to living a bit freer life. How does a woman feel about accepting the man she is interested in's yound child? I would think she would be accepting, but just wanted others oppinions on the matter. Thanks


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Posted on Sat, Jun 03, 2006 16:50

Hi there, I have no problem with it! I've dated guys that were in your situation before. The hardest part is building a relationship with the children. Once you achieve it, everything falls into place. -Nicole


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FierceSkirt
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Posted on Sat, Jun 03, 2006 16:43

Generally, women are soooo much more accepting if you have kids,regardless of age.


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Sinergy
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Posted on Sat, Jun 03, 2006 03:29

Most women would be accepting of the children, all the women I know anyway, if they were in love. In my circle, I have witness a woman raise outside children her husband had during the marriage. If you have a heart, you can love and accept any child.


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guitargirl40
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Posted on Sat, Jun 03, 2006 03:10

You make a good point and I am working through how I feel about it too. I am only just beginning to dip toe in water with dating having only recently divorced. I have youngish children (two boys, 10 and 11) and I'm actually having a harder time contemplating dating divorced people with smaller kids at home b/c I dont want to mix it up that much more for my kids. Makes me an absolute hypocrite I know. And, ironically but not suprisingly, I absolutley love kids and esp little ones tend to love me b/c I'm the world's absolute biggest tom boy. In my partial defense some of this is a function of who my boys' father is with and the family dyanmic they are already experiencig hot on heels of our divorce. I frankly want to minimize the development of anymore 'relationships' for my kids(until I am REALLY certain about them) so that they will hopefully not be exposed unnecessarily to the potential for more BROKEN relationships and disappointments. I do believe that for the right person, who will feel the same way about me and my boys as I do about he and his kids, this, and many other things I seem to 'worry' about right now, will be a non-issue ultimately.


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lovelylotus
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Posted on Fri, Jun 02, 2006 22:06

I felt compelled to write. The last man I dated had a four year old son, while I am childless. On our first date, he asked me if I was interested in him because he had a child. My answer was a resounding no. I put off meeting his son until I was sure our relationship was "going somewhere." As the child of a divorce, I know how painful it can be to watch a parade of strangers coming in and out of your parents' lives. When I finally met my exes son, I was floored- I fell in love with him just as much as I loved his father. We spent a lot of time together and I got a taste of how wonderful being a mother could be. Now that we are no longer seeing each other, I am lost. I miss both father and son and I yearn for a family, something I hadn't given any thought to previously. Would I rule out dating someone with young children again? Absolutely not. Would I think long and hard about it? Absolutely. Heartbreak comes in many forms and saying goodbye to an innocent must be one of the most painful.


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MorningAngel
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Posted on Sat, May 13, 2006 06:53

I know personally if I were in that situation I and very much in love with the man i would absolutley accept his children (part time or full time Dad). I once dated a man who had children while at the time i had none and hadn't married. It was such a rewarding experience. I still am close to those children to this day (wonder if they would baby sit for me when they are back home from university) I know of one couple (who meet online actually) and each had 3 children of varying ages. Let's just say that it was rather crowded in the mornings waiting for the bathrooms. They married a couple of years ago. Oh yes.. His last name really IS Brady. Sometimes it really works. I think over all that each couple and situation is going to be difficult. Learning to love another's children takes time and patience. But young children just need love and more love.


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Posted on Fri, May 12, 2006 23:13

Well I have a young child myself, so maybe my opinion doesn't count. But personally if the guy was what I was looking for and vice versa it wouldn't make a bit of difference. I would love his child (children) as my own. And I think anyone who wouldn't isn't worth knowing. Just my two cents. ;0)


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LisaCM6
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Posted on Fri, May 12, 2006 17:13

You are right about some women at a certain age may have grown children. I myself have three(12,16 and 21). and have full custody of the younger ones.(The older being of age). I feel that children should enhance a person weather male or female. But, I have felt that most men do not want to have anything to do with a woman who has children. So understanding your question I can relate.


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