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leonicvirgo
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Posted on Sat, Nov 23, 2013 16:21

The Best Time to Eat?

“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.”—Erma Bombeck



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leonicvirgo
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Posted on Fri, Nov 29, 2013 17:47

Lonely Steve

It's Black Friday and mall is packed with shoppers and Steve can't find his wife.
Steve goes up to a very attractive woman and says 'Excuse me, can you help me? I cannot see my wife, and I know that she is here in the shopping mall somewhere. Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The attrative woman replies "Why?"
Steve replies "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife materialises out of thin air."

Sorority Sisters

Two Cappa sorority sisters were shopping on Black Friday and run into each other.

When they started to discuss their home lives, one said,

"Seems like all Mike and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds."

"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her sorority sister.

"Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."

Small Business

A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES.

The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... MAIN ENTRANCE.



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Diana3316
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Posted on Mon, Nov 25, 2013 21:50

Lolololol.....very good!



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leonicvirgo
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Posted on Sat, Nov 23, 2013 16:35

An old man in Miami calls up his son in New York and says, “Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. “I’m sick of her face, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Chicago and tell her,” and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister. She says “Like hell they’re getting divorced!” and calls her father immediately. “You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do another thing, the two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don’t call a lawyer, don’t file a paper, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and she hangs up.

The old man turns to his wife and says “Okay, they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own airfares.”





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