If someone cheats, will they cheat again? If given a second chance will the lesson be learned from being caught and never do it again?
What are the odds they'll cheat again?
Or will they be grateful for the second a chance and be smart enough not to do it again?
What do you think?
In this crazy world today we are all in a battle to survive in one form or another. Whether it's emotionally, financially, spiritually or something else.
The past few years the world has been rather harsh to me. I lost several members of my family, including my mother, mostly to cancer. I miss her so.
I watched my mother for a year slowly dwindle away till she was about 85lbs when she passed. I thought it couldn't get any worse.
Then the love of my life left me to go back to her cheating ex-husband. My whole world had crumbled around me and I thought I'd never survive, but I did.
It's been more than three years since I lost the two most important people in my life. It's been rough. But I can say that time does heal most wounds. The pain doesn't always go away, it just gets easier to bear.
But at last! The world has thrown me a bone. Life is good!
The world is treating me pretty good right about now. :-) I guess the world likes me again.
How's the world treating you?
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It's all so beautiful, God," Eve replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights -- everything is so wonderful; but I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain," reported Eve.
Eve went on to tell God that, since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".
"That's a fair point," replied God. "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "except for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has a bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a minute, and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I hve overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now, let's see ... where did I put that useless boob?"
Now doesn't that make more sense than that crap about the rib?
I use to love tinkering with my cars in the garage. That was my passion. But as time goes on, the stresses of daily life such as my job, my kids, soccer pratice, the yard etc... continue to pull me in all directions. I've seem to have lost the passion/desire at the end of the day to go in the garage and mess around.
I miss doing that. It seems I no longer have the time, or sometimes the energy to do it.
What are you no longer passionate about? Do you miss it?
As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."
Ed, sitting in the eighth row, thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"
When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he asked, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"
"Yes," said the flight attendant, "and so is the co-captain. In fact, the entire crew is female."
"My God!" said Ed. "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."
"That's another thing, sir," said the flight attendant. "We no longer call it the cockpit ... Now, it's called the box office."
It seems almost everyone on here is looking for that one special person. Our Once-in-a-Lifetime person. The one person who completes and compliments us in every way. The one who fills our hearts with joy and puts a smile on our face with just the thought of them.
But are we smart enough to recognize them when they come along? What if we meet them, but never take the time to get to know them, and it turns out they were the one?
Is that it? Is that our chance? Did we just pass up our Once-in-a-Lifetime?
And if we find them, and then we loose them, do we get a second chance? Or do we spend the rest of our life searching?
The big question is... Do Once-in-a-Lifetimes happen twice? Or is it just that, Once-in-a-Lifetime.
An Amish lady is driving down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a policeman.
"Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you but I do have to issue you a warning," the officer said. "You have a broken reflector on your buggy."
"Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home," she replied.
"That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse," said the officer. "That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!"
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the police officer.
"Well, dear, what exactly did he say?" asked Jacob.
"He said the reflector is broken," she answered.
"I can fix that in two minutes. What else?" asked her husband.
"I'm not sure, Jacob ... something about the emergency brake..."
A recent study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
When a woman is ovulating, for example, she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
And just before she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in gasoline and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyes, and a chain saw shoved up his arse.
A young couple was making passionate love in the guy's van when suddenly the girl yelled, "Whip me. Whip me!"
The guy, eager to please, obviously didn't have a whip, but, in a flash of inspiration, opened his window, snapped the radio antenna off his van, and they shared it until they both collapsed in sadomasochistic ecstasy.
A week later, the girl noticed that the marks left by their lovemaking session were starting to fester, so she asked her doctor to check them out.
The doctor took one look and asked, "Did you get these marks having sex?"
Embarrassed, she admitted that she did.
The doctor nodded. "I thought so. In all my years of doctoring ... this is the worst case of Van Aerial Disease I've ever seen!"
SMILING is infectious, You catch it like the flu
When someone SMILED at me today, I started SMILING too
I passed around the corner and someone saw my GRIN
When he SMILED, I realized I'd passed it on to him.
I thought about that SMILE, then realized its worth,
A single SMILE just like mine could travel 'round the earth.
So if you feel a SMILE begin, don't leave it undetected.
LET'S START AN EPIDEMIC QUICK AND GET THE WORLD INFECTED!
Everyone needs a SMILE !!
A Love Story
I will seek and find you . . .
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you .
I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.
And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.
All my love,
(Now, get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot!)
Below says it all for me....Dogs know a little more than we do.....
If a dog was your teacher you would learn stuff like.....
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps. Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.(Emotionally for all of you dirty minds)
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout... run right back and make
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
AND last but still important..........
Never trust anyone until you sniff their . . .well you know.
A friend (female friend) sent this to me. She got a laugh out of it. Maybe you will.
Okay, okay, it FINALLY all makes sense now .. I never looked at it this way before:
...and when we have REAL trouble, it's a
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?!!